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Toy Palace Gallery Transcript

[The episode begins with a dark screen. A light appears and a train's horn sounds. The light gets bigger and bigger, until it takes up the entire screen. The light is then revealed to be the headlight of a toy train, which travels across the Toy Palace. Tommy, Chuckie, Stu, and Chas all watch the train as it goes over the bridge, and Tommy gasps in awe. He then looks at Chuckie as Stu and Chas pull their strollers away, then across the store.]

Stu: "Wow, Chas! Isn't this place terrific?"
Chas: "I don't know, Stu. All this stuff is so expensive," *wheeze* "And these crowds are making me claustrophobic!" *wheeze* "I can't breathe!"

[Chas reaches into his pocket and pulls out his inhaler, which he squeezes near his mouth. Stu groans in disbelief, then Chas turns to face a toy of Avogadro the Alligator. He stares at it in shock.]

Chas: "Yikes! What's that?"
Stu: "Oooh! Avogadro the Alligator!"

[As Stu talks to Chas, he pulls Avogadro off the shelf.]

Stu: "The latest designer toy from Italy! It works on an internal cold fusion generator!"

[Stu points at the label on Avogadro's chest, which says, RADIOACTIVE. As Stu and Chas talk to each other, the camera moves down to Tommy.]

Chas: "Sounds dangerous!"
Stu: "Well, there's been a couple of claims, but so far, no one's been able to prove anything."

[Tommy gasps when he sees a baby doll that looks like him, but with yellow overalls and black shoes. He picks it off the shelf. The camera moves over to Chuckie, who picks a monkey doll that looks like him off the shelf.]

Chas: "I don't know, Stu. I don't think this 'Abliglablo' thing's such a good idea!"
PA Announcer: "The Toy Palace is closing in five minutes. Please take your purchases to the front of the store."

[Stu and Chas push their strollers across the aisles.]

Chas: "We'd better go, Stu, the parking lot's gonna be a madhouse!"

[Stu points to the watch on his wrist.]

Stu: "Aw, we got five whole minutes. What's the rush? Hey, look!"

[Stu points to a sign that says, WEE WILLIE WARP TIME TRANSLATOR - Parents giving you trouble? Send them to the distant past.]

Stu: "The Wee Willie Warp Time Translator!"

[The camera moves down to the Wee Willie Warp Time Translator below.]

Stu: "It's a real working time machine for kids! Oooh, check it out!"

[Stu pushes Chas towards the Wee Willie Warp Time Translator. Chuckie turns to face Tommy.]

Chuckie: "Boy, this is the bestest place ever!"
Tommy: "Yeah!"
Chuckie: "I wish we never had to leave!"
Tommy: "Hey, maybe we don't!"
Chuckie: "What do you mean, Tommy?"
Tommy: "Maybe we could live here and play here forever!"

[Tommy and Chuckie look around the Toy Palace and sigh in excitement.]

Chuckie: "But Tommy, we can't do that!"

[Tommy climbs out of his stroller, leaving the doll that looks like him in it.]

Tommy: "Aw, come on! It'll be fun!"
Chuckie: "Oh, here we go again! Uh!"
Chas: "I just don't know, Stu. Are you sure this time travel stuff is really safe for kids?"

[As Chas talks to Stu, Chuckie walks past them. He bumps into a bicycle.]

Chuckie: "Oof!"

[Chuckie crawls between the two bicycles.]

Stu: "Course it is, Chas. Just as long as they don't disturb the past."

[Stu and Chas walk back to their strollers, which now have the baby doll that looks like Tommy and the monkey doll that looks like Chuckie in them. Stu pushes his stroller, and Chas pushes his. As they walk away, the camera zooms out, revealing Tommy and Chuckie to be hiding behind the bicycles. They watch Stu and Chas walk away, then as soon as they are out of sight, they look at each other. Stu and Chas are now outside Chas' car, and Stu picks up his stroller, retracting its wheels, so the stroller can now be a car seat. He and Chas put their strollers in Chas' car.]

Stu: "Boy, what a great time! Really wore the kids out, though. I haven't heard a peep out of them since we left the store!"

[Stu and Chas get into Chas' car.]

Chas: "Yeah, I just hope they're not coming down with some kind of weird bug or anything!"

[Chas reaches into his pocket and pulls out his inhaler, which he squeezes near his mouth. Chas drives his car out of the now-empty parking lot. The camera zooms in on the toy palace, and the screen transitions to the next scene, where the Store Manager is pressing buttons on the security system. ARMED flashes on the screen in red letters. The time on the clock is 9:00 as the Store Manager walks away. The camera zooms in the word, ARMED, then the Store Manager walks past an employee, who is holding the door open for him. They close the doors and walk away. In the security room, the camera moves past several monitors, including those of the doors, the Wee Willie Warp Time Translator, and the checkout counters. The camera then moves down to a portable TV with a wrestling match playing on it. The Security Guard is watching the wrestling match and eating a donut, rather than watching the monitors. He then reaches into a box of donuts and burps. As he pulls a donut out, the lid of the box falls down, revealing a monitor showing Tommy and Chuckie walking down the aisles unsupervised.]

Tommy: "Wow!"
Chuckie: "This is really neat!"
Tommy: "And it's all ours!"

[The light flashes on a security camera, which looks down at a doorway under a sign that says, WORLD OF MINIATURES in gold letters. Tommy and Chuckie walk into the room, and Tommy looks down at a playset of a stadium, with a sign that says, GO GRIZZLIES! A figure of Bucky Majors from "Baseball" can be seen in the stadium playset. Tommy gasps in awe, then turns around and gasps. He walks up to a display of a Native American setting, then waves to Chuckie.]

Tommy: "Look at this!"

[Chuckie walks up to the display.]

Chuckie: "Cowboys and injuries! Neat!"

[Chuckie rests his elbow on the control panel near the display. He hits a lever, inadvertently setting it off. The doors of the fort open and several cowboy figures on horses ride out, with western music playing in the background. Tommy and Chuckie look at the figures in awe, then Tommy gasps. Several indian figures holding bows and suction-cup arrows suddenly rise up.]

Tommy: "Chuckie, look out!"

[Tommy and Chuckie duck as the indian figures fire their suction-cup arrows. Tommy and Chuckie look up at them.]

Tommy and Chuckie: "Aaaah!"

[The suction cup arrows hit a teddy bear, which falls over. Tommy and Chuckie sigh in relief, and the teddy bear lands on the floor near them and squeaks. Chuckie stares in shock at the bear.]

Chuckie: "Oh, no! They got him! Do you think he's hurt bad?"

[Tommy crawls up to the teddy bear.]

Tommy: "I don't know."

[Tommy stands up.]

Tommy: "But don't worry, Chuckie, we'll fix him! Wait here!"

[As Tommy runs away, Chuckie looks down at the teddy bear.]

Chuckie: "Does it hurt a lot?"

[Chuckie flicks his finger through an arrow on the teddy bear's nose. Tommy comes back, wearing a doctor's mirror and stethoscope, and holding a toy medical bag that says, PLAY DR. He hands the bag to Chuckie, and puts the end of the stethoscope on the teddy bear's cheek.]

Tommy: "Hmmm. Let's get these arrows out!"

[Tommy removes his stethoscope and tosses it into the toy medical bag. He then pulls the arrow on the bear's nose off. Chuckie watches squeamishly as Tommy removes the rest of the arrows.]

Chuckie: "Aaaah! Yeouch! Oooh!"

[Tommy holds out his hand.]

Tommy: "Scrapel."

[Chuckie hands Tommy a toy medical hammer, which Tommy uses on the teddy bear's knee. The teddy bear squeaks, then Tommy holds his hand out again.]

Tommy: "Smoochers."

[Chuckie hands Tommy a jar of cotton balls. Tommy opens the jar and pours the cotton balls on the teddy bear. He then holds his hand out again.]

Tommy: "Cramp."

[Chuckie reaches into the toy medical bag and hands Tommy a roll of toy medical tape. Tommy unrolls the tape and tapes it all over the teddy bear, who is now covered in it.]

Tommy: "There, good as new! Well, almost. Come on, Chuckie, let's go!"

[Tommy stands up. He then removes his doctor's mirror and tosses it aside. Back outside Stu's house, Stu is pushing his stoller with the doll that looks like Tommy outside Chas' car.]

Stu: "Thanks for driving, Chas. Boy, that was really a lot of fun. We should do it again real soon! Maybe next weekend."
Chas: "Uh, I'd love to, but I was gonna spread some mulch!"
Stu: "Rats! Well, see you later, Chas!"

[Stu waves at Chas, who drives away. Stu then pushes his stroller up to his house.]

Stu: "Well, Tommy, old boy, that sure was fun, wasn't it? Maybe we'll go back next saturday, huh, pal?"

[Stu pushes the front door open, goes inside his house, then closes the door. He finds out that Tommy isn't in his stroller.]

Stu: "AAAAH!!!"

[Back at the Toy Palace, Tommy and Chuckie, the latter of whom is pulling a wagon with the bandaged teddy bear in it, walk across the aisles and up to the train tracks. The toy train's whistle blows, and Tommy gasps and cups his hand to his ear.]

Tommy: "Listen!"

[Chuckie cups his hand to his ear, and the toy train drives up to them. Tommy points to the toy train.]

Tommy: "Hey, let's go for a ride!"

[Chuckie waves his hand at Tommy in disapproval. In the background, sci-fi toys can be seen on the shelves, including toys resembling Daleks from Dr. Who.]

Chuckie: "I don't know, Tommy. I like walking!"

[Tommy runs alongside the toy train.]

Tommy: "I bet this train goes all over the place! Let's go!"

[Tommy runs after the train.]

Chuckie: "Wait, Tommy!" [Chuckie pants as he picks up the bandaged teddy bear.]  "I'm coming! I'm coming, Tommy!"

[Chuckie puts the teddy bear in the porch of the caboose, then runs behind it. Chuckie grunts as he jumps onto the caboose, then gasps. Tommy is now riding the toy train, and looks back when he hears Chuckie.]

Chuckie: "Tommy! Help!"

[Chuckie slips down the caboose. Tommy walks across the train, jumps onto the caboose, and holds out his hand. He pulls Chuckie onto the caboose, and they both grunt. Chuckie inadvertently pushes the bandaged teddy bear out of the caboose's porch with his foot. Chuckie grabs the bandaged teddy bear's leg with his other hand and pulls him in. The teddy bear squeaks.]

Chuckie: "Hang on, Mr. Bear!"
Tommy: "This is great!"

[Chuckie pants nervously.]

Chuckie: "I don't think Tommy would really have left us behind, do you, Mr. Bear? I didn't think so."

[Meanwhile, Stu runs across the neighborhood, panting as he pushes his empty stroller and carries the baby doll that looks like Tommy. He comes to Chas, who is driving his car.]

Stu: "Chas, Tommy's..."
Chas: "I know, I know, Chuckie, too! They must be back at the toy store! Come on!"

[Chas holds up the monkey doll that looks like Chuckie. Stu runs to the other side of Chas' car, and Chas starts it up again. They drive to the Toy Palace. Back at the Toy Palace, Tommy and Chuckie continue riding the toy train, this time, through a Dummi Bears exhibit. They scream as it travels through the exhibit, then into a tunnel. They pant in fear.]

Chuckie: "Is it just me, or is this train going faster and faster?"

[Tommy and Chuckie scream as the toy train travels down the tracks like a roller coaster. A security camera waches them, but back in the security room, the Security guard pays no attention to the monitors, and pours some coffee from his thermos into his mug while he watches the portable TV.]

TV Announcer: "And now for a word from our sponsor."

[The toy train travels down a bridge, and back to the aisles where Tommy and Chuckie previously were.]

Chuckie: "Tommy, slow down!"
Tommy: "I can't!

[The toy train travels down the bridge, and onto a footbridge.]

Tommy and Chuckie: "Whoa!"

[The bandaged teddy bear falls off the toy train. Chuckie looks back and gasps. He then runs across the train and trips over the caboose, landing on the tracks. He grunts, then gasps as he looks back at Tommy, who is still on the toy train. Tommy gasps, then looks ahead. He walks up to the engine and grunts as he pulls on the lever. The toy train screeches to a halt, and Tommy screams as he flies through the air, into an animal toy exhibit. He lands in a pile of Thorg dolls, and his foot inadvertently pulls a switch on a life-sized Thorg figure, turning it on. The Thorg figure's eyes light up as Tommy walks out of the Thorg dolls, causing them to squeak. The Thorg Doll raises its arms as Tommy walks away. Meanwhile, Chas continues to drive his car towards the Toy Palace. Back at the Toy Palace, Chuckie is in a greenhouse, and pushes a leaf back, finding an entrance guarded by a pair of clown statues. Chuckie is holding the bandaged teddy bear in his arm.]

Chuckie: "Come on, Mr. Bear. Maybe Tommy's in here."

[Chuckie gets out of the greenhouse and walks up to the clown exhibit. As afraid of clowns as he is, he knows he has to be brave to find Tommy. Many clown statues look down at Chuckie.]

Chuckie: "I don't know, Mr. Bear. I don't really like it in here!" [Chuckie looks up at the clown statues.] "Tommy? Tommy?"

[Chuckie pants nervously as he walks past a sensor. The clown in the jack-in-the box laughs wickedly and pops out of its box. Chuckie gasps as he looks up at the clowns. A shadow then approaches Chuckie. He gasps as he looks back at it.]

Chuckie: "Aaaah!"

[Tommy walks up to Chuckie, revealing the shadow to be his.]

Chuckie: "Tommy! You're okay!"
Tommy: "Yeah, but it's not so easy living in the toy place!"
Chuckie: "I know, it's really scary! The toys are alive!"

[As Tommy talks to Chuckie, the shadow of the Thorg figure looms over them.]

Tommy: "Don't be silly, Chuckie. The toys aren't really alive."

[Tommy and Chuckie look back at the Thorg figure and gasp.]

Thorg Figure: "Aaargh! Thorg hungry! Thorg want eat!"

[Tommy and Chuckie look at each other, then run away in fear.]

Tommy and Chuckie: "AAAH!!"

[Late that night, Chas park his car in the Toy Palace parking lot. He and Stu run out to the back door. Stu knocks on it, getting the attention of the Secuirty Guard.]

Security Guard: "Huh?"

[The Security Guard pulls out his club, then presses a button on the control panel, opening the back door. Stu and Chas run inside, panting heavily as the Security Guard lifts and lowers his club.]

Stu: "You gotta help us!"
Chas: "Our kids are in the store!"
Stu: "We were in the store this afternoon, and somehow our kids got locked inside."

[Chas pulls out his wallet, revealing pictures of Chuckie inside.]

Chas: "This is Chuckie. He's just two, but he's very advanced for his age." [Chas then pulls out a Dummi Bears coloring book.]  "Look! He colors inside the lines!"

[The Security Guard pushes the coloring book back.]

Security Guard: "Now, hold on! There's no way a couple of babies could have gotten by this security network!"

[The Security Guard shows them the security network, which Stu stares at in awe. Stu then looks at Chas.]

Chas: "Oh, but you don't understand! We were in the store this afternoon, and when we got home..."
Stu: "We just had dolls!"
Chas: "Well, you had a doll. Actually, I had a monkey."

[Meanwhile, Tommy and Chuckie are still being chased by the Thorg Figure. They pant heavily as they pass a level crossing. The gates lower, and the Toy Train, which has somehow been turned on again, drives across the level crossing.]

Thorg Figure: "Aaargh! Thorg hungry! Thorg want eat!"

[The Thorg figure runs over the crossing gates, breaking them, and he broke the house. He then runs over a train station, flattening it as well. Back at the security room, Stu and Chas are arguing with the Securtiy Guard.]

Stu: "What? What do you think, I'm making this up? I mean, we were just..."
Chas: "Is this a democracy or what?"
Security Guard: "Now, look, fellas! The Megon 6000 is a total security net! Those security cameras are movement-sensitive!"

[The security guard moves the security camera above him with his club. The security camera then shows footage of him, Stu, and Chas.]

Security Guard: "In other words, if anything moves inside that store, I know about it!"

[The Security Guard points his club near Stu and Chas.]

Stu: "Hey, the Megon 6000, huh? I heard about that thing. They tested it in a real prison..."
Chas: "I don't care about any net! I'm telling you, my kid is in that store!"

[Chas points at the monitor as the Security Guard pulls out a brochure that says, MEGON 6000 in pink letters and waves his hand at him in disapproval.]

Security Guard: "Not a chance, pal! Look, let me show you the brocure on this baby."

[The Security Guard opens the brochure.]

Security Guard: "Now, you see this here computer chip?"
Stu: "Oooh!"

[As the Security Guard talks to Stu, Chas puts his hands on his head in disbelief. The camera moves up to the security monitor with the Wee Willie Warp Time Translator on it.]

Security Guard: "That's your basic tech-tron 43000 series! This baby can process!"

[Tommy and Chuckie pant heavily as they run past the Wee Willie Warp Time Translator, and into a dinosaur exhibit. Chuckie bumps into Tommy, and they both look back and gasp at the Thorg Figure behind them.]

Thorg Figure: "Aaargh! Thorg hungry! Thorg want eat!"

[The Thorg Figure knocks over a giant toy brontosaurus.]

Chuckie: "Help! Help! We're doomed! Help! Help!"

[Tommy looks up at a life-size Reptar figure, which the camera zooms out on.]

Tommy: "Reptar! Come on, Chuckie! Reptar'll save us!"

[Chuckie grabs Tommy's arm and drags him along. They climb up to the Reptar Figure as the Throg Figure gets closer to them.]

Tommy: "Come on, Reptar, you gotta do something!"

[The Reptar Figure doesn't move.]

Thorg Figure: "Aaargh! Thorg hungry! Thorg want eat!"
Tommy:" Come on, come on!"

[Tommy pounds his fists on the Reptar figure. He hits a button on it, turning it on. The Reptar Figure's eyes light up, and his arms move.]

Reptar Figure: "Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar!"

[Tommy and Chuckie watch as the Reptar Figure and the Thorg figure walk towards each other and collide.]

Tommy and Chuckie: "Aaaah!"

[Tommy and Chuckie run away in fear.]

Reptar Figure: "Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar!"

[The Reptar Figure pushes the Thorg Figure back.]

Reptar Figure: "Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar!"

[As the Reptar Figure pushes the Thorg Figure back, Chuckie watches, with a toy volcano over his head, panting heavily.]

Reptar Figure: "Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar!"
Tommy:" Go get him, Reptar!"
Chuckie: "It's terrible! I can't watch!"

[Chuckie pushes the toy volcano down over his head. The Reptar Figure continues pushing the Thorg Figure back, knocking overa pyramid of boxed toy bones in the process.]

Reptar Figure: "Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! "

[The Reptar Figure pushes the Thorg Figure into the Wee Willie Warp Time Translator, and the Thorg Figure pushes a lever, that sets the machine from WAY BACK to 1776. The Wee Willie Warp time Translator activates, and Tommy and Chuckie watch as it sends the Thorg figure back to the year 1776. They flinch, and back in the year 1776, as some American Settlers travel across the icy sea, Thorg appears on an iceberg near them. They all stare in shock at it.]

Thorg Figure : "Thorg want eat!"

[Back at the Toy Palace, Tommy cheers for Reptar.]

Reptar Figure: "Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar!"
Tommy: "We're saved! Thanks, Reptar!"
Chuckie: "Did you hear that, Mr. Bear? We're saved!"

[Stu looks at Tommy and Chuckie on the monitor near him.]

Stu: "What? Chas, there they are!"

[Chas gasps as Stu points to the monitor. As they run away, the Security guard, who is drinking coffee and eating donuts, spits out his coffee when he hears this. He immediately turns his attention to the monitor.]

Security Guard: "Holy Magilicotti! They penetrated the net!"

[Stu, Chas, and the Security Guard all run through the doors. Stu runs to Tommy and picks him up, and Tommy giggles, happy to see him again.]

Stu: "Tommy!"

[Chas runs to Chuckie and picks him up.]

Chas: "Chuckie!"
Stu: "Tommy, oh, were were you? I'm so glad to see you again! Oh, please, please, look at you for a second! You know we got all the way home, and, and Chas and I, we, we thought you were there, but you weren't, you weren't in there! I mean, I'm so glad to see you again! I mean, Chas and I got back in the car, and we had a lot of problems on the way over,"
Chas: "Chuckie, I was so worried about you! Sweetie, I thought I would have had to find you for days! I looked everywhere for you guys! Chuckie, where you've been?"

[The Secuirty Guard, realizing Stu and Chas weren't making things up, and happy to see them reunited with their children, runs up to them and puts his hands on their backs. The Reptar Figure walks up to them.]

Reptar Figure: "Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar!"

[The camera zooms out on Tommy, Chuckie, Stu, Chas, The Security Guard, and the Reptar Figure. The Toy Train travels across the bridge as Stu and Chas continue talking to Tommy and Chuckie.]

Stu: "Tommy, Tommy, we missed you!"
Reptar Figure: "Halt! I am Reptar!"

[The screen fades to black, ending the episode.]

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