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|Season 1 Episode 7|
|Original Airdate||December 6, 2003|
|DVD release||Lucky 13|
|Previous Episode||Chuckie's in Love|
|Next Episode||River Rats|
- Kimi (cameo)
- Kira (mentioned)
- Mr. Beaker
- Jonathan (on the phone with Charlotte)
- Howard (mentioned)
There is a thief who has been stealing things from gardens, so Betty DeVille sets up a neighborhood watch to catch the thief. Tommy's friends think that the thief is Dil after Tommy finds Susie’s bike in their garage and the DeVille’s garden gnome in Dil’s room. Dil keeps denying that he is the thief, so Tommy holds a sleepover inviting Chuckie, Phil and Lil to stay over and help him catch Dil. As well as catch Dil in the act Tommy, Phil, and Lil are studying for the Standardized Test and are freaking out. It turns out that the thief was Tommy, but only because he was sleepwalking with a statue flamingo due to the amount of stress that he was under from studying for the Standardized Test.
Tommy: I was sleepwalking. Do you seriously think I'd go out in public like this? Policeman: If I had a dime for every Joe who blamed his crime on sleepwalking, I'd be a rich man. Well, maybe not rich, but I'd own a boat.
Tommy: I... guess you've got yourself a thief. Policeman: Yes, we do, son. We're gonna have to take you downtown. Actually, we're already downtown, so we're gonna have to take you... here.
Dil: I didn't steal anything. I swear. Betty: Okay, I'll bite. If you didn't take those things, then who did? Dil: (Looks at Tommy) I'm taking the Fifth. Betty: (To Chaz) Figures - he already took everything else.
Lil: Chuckie, make yourself useful and quiz us on words from the dictionary. Tommy, I do not want to oversleep and miss the test tomorrow. Did you set the alarms? Tommy: All seven of them.
Chuckie: (About Dil) Did he admit it? Tommy: Nope, he pushed the "I'm innocent" act. I'll have stay up all night and catch him. Chuckie: How do you expect to pull an all-nighter when you can't even stay awake during the least boring school activity? Tommy: What's that? Chuckie: Lunch - that thing you're wearing.
Angelica: (About Bernadette) I want to return it. Susie: Return what? Angelica: It. Susie: She's not a shirt, Angelica. She's a human being. Angelica: That's up for debate.
Tommy: Calm down, guys. How bad could it be? You show up with your number-two pencil, fill in some ovals, and try not to stare at the mole on the neck of the guy in front of you. Phil: What kind of mole? Big? Small? Three-dimensional? Hairy? You have to be more specific. I need to be prepared!
Mr. Beaker: On Friday, the entire fifth-grade class will be taking a standardized test. (All students gasp) Mr. Beaker: This is not just any test. This is the mother of all tests. (Students gasp again) Mr. Beaker: The one from which all other tests run in fear. (Students gasp again) Mr. Beaker: Compared to this test, the other tests are just testettes. Phil: Oh, no! Mr. Beaker: Oh, yes.
Betty: You boys seen Rufus anywhere? Tommy: (Softly) Who's Rufus? Betty: Garden gnomes don't vanish into thin air. Dil: I'm sure Rufus will call if he's in trouble.
Betty: As I was saying! Everytime, there's something new missing from my yard!
Mr. Beaker: Before I took the test, I looked like this. (Shows students a picture of him with huge muscles, all students gasp)
Bernadette: So tell me what those you-know-what's were. Angelica: There weren't any.
Angelica: I'm telling you, she's pure evil. And trust me, I know evil when I see it. Susie: You do have a point there.
Angelica: ... She's such a BRAT! Susie: Look who's talking.
Tommy: I saw the bike. Dil: Is that some kind of code? Okay, I ate the banana.