| Reptar on Ice | Gallery | Transcript |
|---|
(The episode's scene opens with charcoal-colored objects floating in a white background, the background slowly turns green, the screen pulls away revealing to be a bowl of cereal from a Reptar cereal box, Tommy babbles and puts his hands in the cereal)
Didi: No, no, no. That's Angelica's breakfast, sweetie. (gives him a bottle)
Angelica: (comes in the kitchen): Uh-huh. Babies aren't allowed to eat Reptar cereal. (sits at the table): It's only for up groaned-up people. (plops down the chair)
Stu: Morning. (sees the cereal box): Huh? (reads the nutrition facts): Sugar, benzo-sorbate, artificial sweeteners, re-hydrogenated cardboard bits... (Didi takes her Lipschitz book) Hey, Deed, there's no actual food in here.
Didi: I know, but Angelica won't eat anything else.
(Angelica eats her cereal)
Stu: Ech! (looks at Reptar on the cereal box): Hmm, nifty lizard, though.
Angelica: That's Reptar. He's a "Tired-Old-Saurus Wrecked" That's a kind of dinosaur-they're the biggest animals in the world. (Tommy listens to this) They ate dogs and cats and sometimes... (evilly looms closers to Tommy): ...even little babies.
(Tommy stops drinking his bottle upon hearing this)
Stu: Sounds like this Reptar guy's a pretty tough customer.
Angelica: (has more cereal): Yeah, but we don't have to worry about him, 'cause all the dinosaurs are dead now. They got hit by a comet and turned into tonsils.
Stu: (confused): Tonsils?
Didi: I think she means fossils, dear.
Stu: (chuckles): Well, that's a relief.
(scene cutds to Tommy in his playpen with Chuckie, Phil and Lil, Tommy thinks about what Angelica said)
Tommy: (solemnly): You guys? I got some bad news.
Tommy: (sadly): Reptar's gone.
Lil: Where'd he go?
Tommy: He got hit on the head by something called a comet and he turned into a tonsil.
Chuckie: What's a tonsil?
Tommy: I don't know, but it's nothing good.
Phil: Maybe we can turn him back into Reptar.
Tommy: (shakes his head): Nope. (tears welling up): Once you turn into a tonsil, that's it. (sniffles and wipes the tears off): I'm never gonna see Reptar again!
Phil: Oh, don't feel bad, Tommy.
Lil: Yeah, maybe it's not true. Maybe Reptar' not a tonsil.
Chuckie: Maybe he's just hiding.
Tommy: (smiles): Chuckie that's it, he's hiding! And we gotta find him!
Chuckie: (upset): Oh, I did it again. (scene cuts to the Rugrats heading out the back door) Nope, no dinosaurs out here.
Tommy: Wait, we haven't even looked yet.
Chuckie: I don't think you have to look. I think when there's a dinosaur around, you can't miss it. (the twins look around the backyard, screams in fright): AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
(Chuckie sees a bright green lizard on the door almost looking like a baby version of Reptar)
Tommy: (gasps): Reptar?
Phil and Lil: Wow!
Lil: Wait, I thought Reptar was bigger.
Phil: Me, too.
Chuckie: (looks at the little lizard closely): Hmm... (the lizard smiles and looks at him with orange vision, echoes): I don't think that's Reptar, Tommy.
Tommy: It looks like Reptar, but it's too little.
Lil: Hey, maybe it's Reptar's baby!
Phil: Reptar's baby?
Tommy: Wow!
Chuckie: (tries to touch the lizard until it scampers away): Uh...
Phil and Lil: (tries to stop the lizard): Get it! Get it! I got 'im! I got 'im!
Tommy: (catches him from over the wall): Got it!
'(Tommy opens his hands as the lizard gazes and smiles at Tommy, who smiles back)
Chuckie: (gasps): Tommy! It's your mom!
(Tommy gasps and stuffs the lizard in his diaper until he lizard causes Tommy to act all funny)
Didi: (picks Tommy up): What are you kids doing out here? (notices Tommy's reactions): Oh... (laughs and makes baby noises before leading Tommy and the other babies back inside and closing the door and placing them back in the playpen, Tommy still is acting funny, walks up to Stu and Grandpa Lou watching TV): Which of you responsible adults left the door at the patio open so the kids could get out?
(Stu and Grandpa Lou look at each other and then point at each other, Tommy holds the lizard)
Phil: Where'd Reptar go?
Lil: And why did he leave his baby here?
Announcer: (on TV getting the babies' attention): Reptar... on... Ice!
Ice Skaters: (sing and skating): Reptar! Gonna get you, gonna get you... (continues)
Lil: What's he doing on the television?
Announcer: The most dazzling ice extravaganza of the year! Reptar on Ice comes to the County Coliseum March 8th, 9th, and 10th!
Woman Singer: (sings): Reptar... (continues)
Grandpa Lou: People must have mush for brains to go see that pablum. In my day, dinosaurs didn't skate with a bunch of ninnies on costumes!
Stu: (whispers to Didi): In his day, the dinosaurs were real.
Grandpa Lou: I heard that.
Didi: I just don't understand this thing with dinosaurs. (watches Reptar lifting a car and a building) Couldn't they pick a nice animal like a panda or a teddy bear?
Stu: Come on, Deed! When was the last time a panda went on a rampage and destroyed a major city? (Reptar on TV destroys a city and eats a jet plane) I think this Reptar on Ice sounds like a blast. Let's take the kids!
Chuckie: (hears this and smiles): We're going to see Reptar!
Tommy: (to the lizard): Hear that, little guy? (from the lizard's vision): We're going to find your dad!
Lil: Then he can smash down buildings!
Phil: Yeah, and steal chickens!
(the lizard continues looking at the babies, scene cuts to the parking lot outside the County Coliseum, the Pickles adults enter the building with the four babies, Chuckie acts funny as he has the lizard inside his clothes)
Didi: (notices this): Chuckie seems awfully antsy today.
Stu: He's probably just excited. Back when we were kids, Chas used to squirm around a lot, too.
Didi: We're almost to the gates, Stu. You'd better get the tickets out.
Stu: (stops): Tickets? (checks all around himself)
Didi: Oh, Stu! You didn't lose the tickets?
Grandpa Lou: On the other hand, we could always go bowling.
(as the adults clamor, Chuckie continues going loopy from the lizard crawling on him)
Tommy: Still got 'im?
Chuckie: (loses it): I THINK HE'S UNDER MY ARM NOW!
Stu: (shown holding the tickets): Whew!
Didi: I just don't see why you put the tickets in there to begin with.
Stu: Ah, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
(Stu gives the tickets to the lady at the booth and head in the theater, the screen zooms to a "Personnel Only" door as the scene transition backstage)
Harry: Leo, you're a role model in that costume!
Leo: (unhappily): A mutant dinosaur that tears down cities and steals chickens is a role model for these kids? (puts his Reptar mask on): No wonder the world's in such crummy shape.
Harry: Yeah, but see? You got a gentle human side, too. I mean, that's why the girl falls in love with ya!
Leo: Perfect example of how sorry this show is. (puts on his costume): The real Reptar would never have a romantic entanglement with a girl reporter.
Harry: The real Reptar? Leo, you've been playing this part too long.
Leo: (zips his zipper, sarcastically): Finally, something we can agree on. (Harry helps him put on his ice skates) You know something, Harry? I don't know why I took this job. (teeters to the doors): I can't skate, I don't like kids--and if you want to know the actual fact, lizards give me the creeps. (leaves but comes back): And that goes for your amphibians, too.
(scene cuts to inside the theatre where the adults and the babies are at their seats, the adults get the babies settled)
Stu: This is gonna be great! The papers said if you see just one skating dinosaur spectacular this year, Reptar on Ice is it.
Didi: I just hope it's not too scary for the kids.
Grandpa Lou: Maybe we got the wrong night and they'll play a hockey game.
(dramatic music begins)
Didi: Shh! It's starting!
Harry: Ladies and gentlemen! (skates): This is the moment you've all been waiting for! (flakes of the ice get the babies) This... is... Reptar... on... Ice!
(a fanfare plays as fireworks explode, Chuckie is still acting loopy from the lizard inside his clothes, skaters show up and a giant prop volcano rises from the ice)
Chuckie: (takes the lizard out): Here, you take baby Reptar for a while. He keeps going down my pants.
(the lizard crawls underneath the twins making them squeal until Tommy takes it, the skaters skate around the erupting volcano, Leo as Reptar comes out)
Leo: HALT! (the skaters act out gasping) I... AM... REPTAR! (skates)
'(Didi and Stu gasp in shock as the crowd cheers)
Grandpa Lou: Now that's entertainment!
(Tommy watches this joyfully, scene cuts to Leo skating around the propped city for a musical number)
Leo: (sings, operatic): I'm just a dinosaur. (skates on his tail, holds a bus): I don't know what I'm for. (jumps on the train track and takes the train and rubs it on his back): I like to stomp and roar... Hey! I'm just a DINOSAUR! (kicks an ambulance)
Chuckie: Hey, Tommy, are we gonna give Reptar his baby now?
Tommy: No, not yet. He seems kinda busy.
Grandpa Lou: (amazed): Brilliance--sheer brilliance.
(Stu and Didi look at him strangely, Didi yawns as she and Stu go disapproved, scene cuts to another musical number where a woman and Reptar skate)
Woman Singer: (sings, ballad, throws flowers): They say he's a menace, but I love him. Sure, he smashes cities, but I love him. (continues)
(Stu and Didi still go bored at this, Grandpa Lou cries joyfully)
Chuckie: Tommy, we better get Reptar his baby before he falls asleep, too.
Tommy: Yeah, Chuckie, maybe you're right. C'mon, let's go. (crawls under the adults with the other babies following)
Woman Singer: ...but I love him. Yes, I love him. Yes, I love him. (Reptar skates off stage) He may be a dumb old dinosaur, but I love him...
Chuckie: (gasps realizing this): Oh, no! Tommy, he's gone!
(the babies see skaters dressed as the authorities with flashlights for another musical number)
Skaters: (singing): Reptar, Reptar, got to find that Reptar. Reptar, Reptar, did you see a Reptar? Reptar, Reptar, boy, oh, boy, is he in trouble... (continues)
(scene cuts to Leo unmasked and getting a cup of water)
Leo: (sighs): Oh... (splashes the water on his face) Well, only 12,380 performances to go.
(scene cuts to the babies entering the icy stage)
Phil: But, Tommy, where could he have gone?
(Lil slips and lands on her seat)
Tommy: I don't know, but he's gotta be here somewhere!
Skaters: (continues singing): Did you see a Reptar? Reptar, Reptar, boy, oh, boy, is he in trouble... (continues)
Lil: (slips and points): Look, there!
Leo: (arrives and sings): Here I am! You can stop looking now.
Woman Singer: (show in a wedding dress, sings): Reptar...
(the flower girls throw flowers with more skaters in wedding outfits on following, the babies walk up with Reptar not noticing, an army tank follows being piloted by two skaters, Tommy sees the tank)
Tommy: (slides to it): Whoo! C'mon!
(the three babies follow as they all climb on)
Woman Singer: (skates with Leo, sings): Reptar, you have come back to me.
Leo: (lifts her up): Yes, dear, indeed I have.
Audience: Aww...
(a wrecked chapel prop is shown)
Woman Singer and Leo: The wonder of life when a lizard takes a wife. (the babies watch as the lizard pokes out of Tommy's diaper) It's almost too much to bear. (Grandpa Lou sniffles as Stu goes bored and Didi reads her book, they spin slowly): And now every morning when I wake, dear, I will see your smiling happy face, dear. (Grandpa Lou wipes his tears with a tissue) Until the end of time. (they hug each other)
(the authority skates fade in with candles)
Skaters: (singing): Dinosaur, dinosaur, ancient enemy of man. (Tommy hops off the tank, they skate around Leo and the woman) You will pay for your destructive tendencies. (the twins hop off the tank) You will pay for our travail. (Tommy grabs onto a leg of a skater as they spin around, the twins grab on) Dinosaur, dinosaur, ancient enemy of man.
Chuckie: (gasps): Tommy!
(the three babies laugh as the skaters continue singing and spinning)
Skaters: You won't get off with a slap on the wrist. There's a possibility you might go to jail.
Lil: (holds her hand out for Chuckie): Chuckie, come on!
Chuckie: (worried): Someday, I'll look back on this and laugh. (grabs on)
(the babies continue laughing as the skaters continue singing)
Leo: (sings along): My love!
Woman Singer: (sings along): Reptar!
Leo: My love!
Chuckie: (accidentally lets go and slides): OOOOOOOOOH, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Woman Singer: Reptar!
Leo: My lo...
(As Leo and the woman are about to kiss, Chuckie bumps into Leo's tail and causes the woman to trip and fall, the music stops as Leo sees Chuckie and the three other babies arrive, the audience is silent)
Woman Singer: (whispers): Quick, do something! (leaves)
Leo: I... Uh... (improvises, sings): Hey, look. It's some kids on the ice. What's a dinosaur to do when there's kids on the ice? QUICK! Somebody call their MOM!!!
(Grandpa Lou sees this as Stu and Didi sleep)
Grandpa Lou: (shakes Stu): Hey, Stu! STU! (points): Is that Tommy out there?!
Stu: (wakes up): Huh? What? Tommy? (sees Tommy and the babies with Leo): TOMMY?! (panics): THAT'S TOMMY!!! (wakes Didi up): DIDI!!! The kids are out on the ice!
Didi: Oh, my goodness! What are they doing out there?!
Grandpa Lou: (looks in the book): It's not in the program, that's for sure.
(Stu jumps into the stage and goes after the babies but slides and slips causing the audience to laugh and applaud)
Leo: (whispers to Tommy): Hey, kid, what are you doing out here? (sings): I'm going to see who the kid is. (leans back to Tommy, speaks): So, what do you got in your hand there. (Tommy shows him the lizard, freaks out): YAAAAAAAAHHHH, GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!!!!! (grabs the woman singer)
Woman Singer: (shrieking): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
(The audience laughs and cheers again, Leo crashes into four skaters as Stu panics from sliding and reaches the babies)
Stu: Tommy?! What are you doing out here?! (picks him up)
(Tommy giggles as Stu hugs him)
Audience: (touched): Aww... (applauds)
(Stu smiles and bows until the lizard crawls out of Tommy's diaper and goes into Stu's pants, Stu gasps and acts funny)
Stu: (slips): YAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
'(Did goes worried as Stu lets go of Tommy, who flies up in the air before Stu catches him)
Tommy: (holds his lizard): Oh... (giggles)
(the entire audience cheers, whistles, and applauds ending the episode)