| Regarding Stuie | Gallery | Transcript |
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(Scene opens of what looks like an apocalyptic landscaping under an ominous sky followed by voices of people screaming, the landscaping has giant chocolate chips and tofu looking like sunken skyscrapers and volcanos erupting, the screen pans to what turns out to be a giant cookie on a cookie sheet, a hand reaches out for it)
Grandpa Lou: Hmm, what do you say, scout? (shown holding Tommy) Maybe just one of these. (eat it)
Didi: (walks in and catches him): GRANDPA!!! (Grandpa Lou immediately spits it out back in his hand) Leave those carob tofu clusters alone! They're for after dinner.
Grandpa Lou: After dinner? Why, in my day, we were lucky if we had dinner! (walks out with Tommy to the backyard where Chuckie, Phil and Lil are)
(Didi leaves the house to go out)
Grandpa Lou: (sits on his lounging chair): Maybe I'll just head out in the woods and jack me a deer. (gets his newspaper, Stu comes out carrying a mechanized duck wearing summer clothes) Cook me up some venison before I pass out from hun-- (sees the duck): What in the name of sassafras is that?
Stu: Presenting the Stu Pickles patented Quack-O-Matic!
Grandpa Lou: The Quack-O-who?
Stu: The Quack-O-Matic, the world's first fully automated weathervane. This baby tells you the temperature in ten cities, gives a six-month weather forecast and predicts earthquakes, floods and meteor showers.
(Stu makes the Quack-O-Matic give out a quack)
Grandpa Lou: Does it tell you which way the wind's blowing?
Stu: I'm working on it, I'm working on it! (leaves)
Grandpa Lou: Heh!
(The telephone is heard ringing, Grandpa Lou walks back in the house and shuts the back door)
(Tommy, having heard about this, is shown playing in the sandbox with the other babies, Phil and Lil are burying Chuckie)
Tommy: Wow! A duck that can tell you everything.
Lil: (points): Looks like your dad's fighting with the duck.
(Stu is shown trying to position the duck on the roof as the ladder teeters)
Phil: Looks like the duck's winning.
Chuckie: (they leave the sandbox): How come they're fighting?
(Stu panics and begins to lose balance on the teetering ladder)
Phil: Maybe the duck doesn't want to tell him stuff.
Lil: Yeah, maybe you got to fight with it first.
(Stu regains his balance and places the Quack-O-Matic on the roof)
Grandpa Lou: (comes back out): That was Louise. She wants me to come over for some bocce ball. Could you look after the sprats for the afternoon?
Stu: Sure, Pop, whatever you say.
Granda Lou: (waves): See you later, son! (dances): YIPPEE!! (chuckles and leaves)
Stu: There! I can hardly wait to try her out.
(Stu presses the button and the Quack-O-Matic begins moving, the Rugrats watch from below, the duck starts quacking until it spins and whacks its wing on the back of Stu's head)
Stu: (falls off the roof losing his shoes): AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
(the babies scream as they run off to where Stu falls hitting his head very hard on the ground, stars and ducks circle around his head)
Chuckie: What happened to your dad, Tommy?
Phil: Maybe he's taking a nap.
(Stu regains consciousness and shakes his head and sits up)
Stu: (child-like tone): Goo-goo...
(Tommy gasps in shock as he and the other babies run off from Stu, who begins to crawl like a baby)
Chuckie: What's he doing?
Tommy: I don't know.
(Stu sits back down and begins to make a bubble from his mouth into the size of a bowling ball)
Lil: I never blowed a bubble that big before.
(the bubble pops, Stu begins to put his thumb in and out of his mouth)
Tommy: You guys, I think... my dad growed down.
Lil: You don't mean...
Tommy: Yeah, I do. (Stu attempts to stand up) You guys, I think my dad's turned into a baby.
(Stu wobbles and falls back down)
Chuckie: Wow! He's the biggest baby I ever sawed.
Phil: Think he's friendly?
Lil: Yeah. Let's go play with him.
Tommy: I don't know. It's kind of weird having your dad be a baby.
Stuie: (sits up and turns to the Rugrats): Hi! I'm Stuie! Who are you?
Tommy: (waves): Hi, Stuie. (walks to Stu): Um, I'm Tommy.
Stuie: Hi, Tommy! Wanna play?
Tommy: Uh... okay. Uh... this is Phil and Lil and Chuckie.
Chuckie: (waves): Hi, Mr. Stuie.
Stuie: (snickers): You're funny, Chuckie!
Chuckie: He talks like a baby, but he sure doesn't look like one.
Lil: You're right, Chuckie. He needs a diaper.
Phil: But where're we ever going to find a diaper that big?
Tommy: Over there!
(Tommy points at white sheets hanging on the clothesline, the babies carry a big bedsheet to Stuie)
Tommy: Okay, Stuie, hold still.
(the babies gather around Stuie and tackle him and put the sheet around his waist into a man-sized diaper)
Phil: There!
Lil: That's better.
Stuie: Yeah, that's better.
Tommy: Hey, Stuie, let's go inside, I'll show you, my toys.
(Tommy climbs on top of Phil and Lil to reach the door handle until Stuie opens it up for him)
Chuckie: Wow, that was pretty neat!
Tommy: Hey, I bet my dad--um, Stuie can do lots of other neat stuff too.
Phil: What d'you mean, Tommy?
Tommy: Well, maybe he can get us all the things we want but can't ever get cause we're too small.
Chuckie: Like what?
Tommy: Like, um... the Christmas presents my mom keeps high up in the closet!
Chuckie: You mean Stuie can get us Christmas presents?
(scene cuts to Stuie and the babies in the parents' bedroom, Stuie is at the closet)
Tommy: 'Member to bring down all of the presents, Stuie!
Phil: Yeah!
Lil: All of 'em!
Stuie: (takes a box from the shelf): Wow! Sure, is a lot of neat toys! (begins to stumble): Oh... whoa!
(Stu falls off the chest he stood on and lands on his bottom dropping the box to the floor, the box is full of old objects)
Babies: Wow!
(the babies rummage in the box)
Tommy: These are even better than the presents I got last year! (plays with old notes)
Chuckie: Without Stuie, we would have had to wait and wait and wait till Christmas for these.
(Chuckie puts on a hat with fruit and plays with Didi's powder, Phil wears a detective hat and holds a magnifying glass, Lil wears a scuba divers mask and flippers)
Phil: We're really lucky to have such a big baby around.
Lil: Yeah! He can reach all kinds of stuff.
(Stuie plays with a jewelry box, Tommy wears a raccoon hat)
Tommy: You think he can reach the cookies?
Chuckie, Phil and Lil: COOKIES?!
(scene cuts to Stuie and the four babies in the kitchen settling their stomachs after eating the entire sheet of carob tofu clusters)
Chuckie: Ah... It doesn't get any better than this.
Tommy: Nope.
Phil and Lil: Nuh-uh.
Chuckie: Now what, Tommy?
Tommy: Stuie can look for more cookies.
Chuckie: Oh, I'm kind of full. (burps)
Phil: There must be something else real high up that only Stuie can reach.
Tommy: I know!
(scene cuts to Stuie and the four babies looking through five circles as they stand on a tiled floor)
Tommy: Okay, Stuie, go!
(They were standing in the bathtub under the showerhead, Stuie turns on the water and the showerhead rains down water, the babies laugh as they have fun with Stuie)
(scene cuts to a car pulling in the driveway of the Pickles residence, it was Didi, she heads to the house)
(scene cuts back to the babies playing with Stuie in the shower)
Chuckie: Tommy, I'm getting wet. Why are we doing this?
Tommy: Cause it's fun, Chuckie!
Chuckie: Oh.
(scene cuts to Didi walking in the hallway to the bathroom door)
Didi: Stu, is that you in there?
Stuie: Ga! (bites on a rubber duck)
Didi: (the babies hear her): I guess you really worked up a sweat on the roof with that weathervane. By the way, it looks great! (Stuie giggles) Are the kids still out back with Grandpa? (Stuie still makes baby noises) Good! Well, I just came home to get the checkbook. (Phil tugs the rubber duck from Stuie's mouth) I've changed my mind. I'm going to go ahead and buy that crystal vase.
(Phil gets the duck out of Stuie's mouth)
Stuie: (bawls): WAAAAAAHHHHH!!! WAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Didi: Oh, I know you don't want to spend the money, Stu, but it's just too good a bargain to pass up.
Stuie: (Phil hands back the rubber duck, happily): Goo-goo.
Didi: Oh, you're such a doll! And I just know you won't regret this. (leaves): Got to run!
(the water is heard shut off as Tommy opens the door all wet)
Tommy: She's gone. Time to play.
(Scene cuts to the babies in the living room playing, Tommy plays with a mechanical Reptar toy, Chuckie plays with Legos, Phil and Lil play with a dollhouse and a doll, Stuie plays with a rattle.)
Lil: Wanna play with my doll, Stuie?
(Stuie pulls at her doll breaking the head, Lil falls on her bottom and starts crying, Stu bawls along with her.)
Chuckie: Looks like trouble.
(Stuie continues crying)
Lil: (stops crying looking from inside Stuie's mouth): Wow, he can really cry.
Tommy: What's wrong Stuie?
Stuie: (whimpers): Toy broke.
Tommy: Don't worry Stuie, when Daddy gets home, he'll fi--
(Tommy suddenly realizes about this, Stuie looks at him)
Chuckie: Tommy?
Tommy: (solemnly): He's never coming home.
Chuckie: Who's never coming home, Tommy?
Tommy: My daddy. He's never going to come home! He turned into Stuie, and now he'll never be Daddy again!
Phil: But now you got Stuie to play with.
Lil: Yeah, now you got a great big baby to help you get Christmas presents and... and eat cookies and get in trouble.
Tommy: It's just not the same as having my Daddy! (turns to Stuie): When you were my dad, you'd build toys specially for me and read me stories and tuck me in at night and... I miss my daddy! (sobbing): WAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! WAAAAAAHHHHHAAYYYY!!! AAAAHHYYY!!! AAAHHHHHHH!!!
(Stuie watches Tommy still sobbing)
Chuckie: Stuie, you got to go back to being a big person. You got to be Tommy's daddy.
Lil: Yep, you got to get grown up again.
Stuie: But... I don't want to!
Tommy: (sadly): Can you blame him? Who'd want to be grown up if you could stay little forever?
Chuckie: (shakes his head): Not me.
Phil: Hey, Tommy...
(Tommy sadly leaves the room)
Lil: Where're you going?
(scene cuts to Tommy sobbing while on his father's bed, looking at some photos of himself and Stu having fun together, Stuie watches from the doorway before sitting down next to him, Tommy looks at Stuie with sad eyes)
Stuie: You miss your daddy, huh, Tommy?
Tommy: Yep.
Stuie: Chuckie said I should be your daddy.
Tommy: Aw, Stuie, I couldn't ask you to do that.
Stuie: I'll try.
(Tommy smiles and hugs him)
(scene cuts to Chuckie dragging the telephone by the receiver)
Chuckie: Ready to be a grownup? (Stuie nods, hands Stuie the phone): Here, Stuie. You use it to talk to yourself.
(Stuie places the receiver on his head, Phil and Lil drag a briefcase and open it)
Phil: Here, Stuie.
Lil: You carry your grownup toys in it.
(Stuie puts the phone's receiver in the briefcase and closes it, he picks it up)
Tommy: Here, Stuie. (gives Stuie a newspaper): Take it to the bathroom and don't come out until practically forever.
(Stu goes confused by all of this and begins pouting)
Stuie: (bawls): WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! (sits on the floor bawling continuously)
Chuckie: Face it, Tommy: he just doesn't know how to be grown up.
Lil: What about if we made him eat lots of spinach?
Phil: What about having him watch boring grownup shows on TV?
Tommy: What about the duck!
Stuie: (stops crying): The duck? What's the duck?
Chuckie: Yeah! He lives on top of the garage!
Phil: The duck knows everything!
Lil: He'll tell you how to be a grownup.
Tommy: C'mon!
(the four babies head outside with Stuie following)
(scene cuts to the backyard where Stuie and the four babies see the Quack-O-Matic on the roof)
Stuie: Hel-wo, Mr. Duck!
Tommy: Not like that, Stuie. First you have to fight the duck, or he won't tell you anything.
Stuie: Fight?
Tommy: Yeah/
Stuie: But I'm scared.
Tommy: Sure you're scared, Stuie. Everyone gets scared sometimes. (Chuckie nods) But you can't be scared all the time.
Stuie: Well... (smiles): Okay. I'll try.
(Stuie goes to the ladder, the four babies give Stuie a thumbs up as Stuie climbs up the ladder on his knees)
Chuckie: He's the bravest baby I ever sawed.
(Stuie reaches to the Quack-O-Matic and grabs ahold of it, the duck quacks, Stuie pushes his knee on the button activating the duck, the duck has its beak gripping Stuie's nose)
Tommy: Fight him, Stuie!
Chuckie: YOU CAN DO IT!
Phil: Knock him on the head!
Lil: Make him quack for mercy!
(Stuie begins to stumble until the Quack-O-Matic whacks its wing on the back of Stuie's head)
Stuie: (falls off): AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!
(the babies run off as Stuie lands and hits his head on the ground)
Tommy: Are you okay, Stuie?
Stu: (gets up, shakes his head): What? Huh? (sees the Quack-O-Matic): Oh... Nice-looking weathervane. That Quack-O-Matic's the wave of the fut-- (sees a rattle in his hand): Huh? (shrugs it off and tosses the rattle to Tommy) Come on, kids, everybody in the house. (to Tommy): Want a ride, kiddo? (picks up Tommy)
(Stu and the four babies head inside the house, Didi has arrived back home, Stu puts the four babies in the playpen)
Didi: I'm back, dear!
Stu: (pats Tommy on the head, singsong): Be right there! (leaves)
Tommy: Boy! It sure is great to have things back to normal!
Didi: (notices Stu's "diaper", incredulously): STU! What are you doing wearing that sheet?!
(scene cuts to the Quack-O-Matic quacking ending the episode)