Rebel Without a Teddy Bear/Transcript

[The episode begins with a close-up of the face of Henry, Tommy's stuffed lion. The sound of a lion roaring can be heard.]

Tommy: "Roar!"

[Tommy pulls Henry away, revealing Henry to be dirty. Tommy and Chuckie are revealed to be in Tommy's crib.]

Tommy: "That's him, Chuckie. Do you like him? His name's Henry."

[Chuckie crawls up to Tommy.]

Tommy: "Well? Do you like him? Huh? Isn't he great? He can crawl around, and eat bugs, and climb trees, and all kinds of stuff!"

Chuckie: "Well..."

[Chuckie crawls up to Henry.]

Tommy: "Well what? Don't you like him?"

Chuckie: "I don't know how to say this, Tommy, so maybe I'd better just say it; he's kinda dirty!"

[A sad look appears on Tommy's face as the camera zooms out on him.]

Chuckie: "Tommy, you okay?"

Tommy (sadly): "I'm fine."

[Chuckie stands up.]

Chuckie: "Aw, I'm sorry, Tommy. Hey! I know what to do!"

Tommy (sadly): "What?"

Chuckie: "Let's give Herman a bath!"

Tommy: "His name's Henry!"

Chuckie: "Oops. Well, well, then let's give Henry a bath!"

Tommy: "Why?"

Chuckie: "Well, whenever I get dirty, my Dad gives me a bath, so if Henry's dirty..."

Tommy: "We can give him a bath! Yeah! Then he'll be all clean again!"

[Tommy picks up a red plastic screwdriver. He stands up, and as Chuckie picks up Henry, Tommy walks over to the bars of his crib and unlatches them with the screwdriver. The next scene takes place in the kitchen, and the camera zooms in on Tommy, Chuckie, and Henry, who are all sitting next to a tub of water. Tommy is holding a pencil and a pad of paper.]

Tommy: "Bathtub."

[Chuckie pulls in the bathtub.]

Chuckie: "Check."

Tommy: "Water."

[Chuckie splashes water in the tub.]

Chuckie: "Check."

Tommy: "Henry."

[Chuckie turns to face Henry and picks him up.]

Chuckie: "Check."

Tommy: "Soap."

Chuckie: "Soap?"

Tommy: "Uh-oh!"

Chuckie: "Tommy, how are we gonna get the soap? It's way up there!"

[Chuckie points to a bottle of soap on the kitchen counter.]

Tommy: "Hmmm, that's pretty far away!"

[Chuckie pets Henry's mane.]

Chuckie: "Sorry, Henry. Looks like you gotta stay dirty."

Tommy: "No, wait!"

[Tommy points to a bottle of mustard on the table. The bottle says, MUSTARD in red letters and has a picture of a french flag, much like French's Classic Yellow Mustard bottle.]

Chuckie: "Tommy, that's not soap, that's mustard!"

Tommy: "Hmmm, close enough!"

[Tommy climbs onto the chair and picks up the bottle of Classic Yellow mustard. The screen transitions to the next scene, where Henry is now in the tub.]

Tommy: "Let's wash his hair!"

Chuckie: "Good idea."

[Tommy picks up the bottle of classic yellow mustard.]

Tommy: "Okay, now close your eyes, Henry!

[Tommy squirts mustard onto Henry. He and Chuckie then wash the mustard-covered Henry's mane, until Didi sees what's happening.]

Didi: "Tommy!"

[Didi and Chas are now standing in the kitchen doorway. Didi walks up to Tommy, Chuckie, and Henry.]

Didi: "Oh, look at this mess!"

[Didi sniffs, and she smelled like mustard, as smelly mayonnaise, then picks up the mustard-covered Henry. Tommy looks sadly up at Henry.]

Didi: "Ew! Oh, Charles, what are we going to do with Herman?"

[Tommy reaches for Henry. In the next scene, Didi is washing Henry in the sink, and wringing him out.]

Chas: "I think it's ruined, Didi."

Didi: "Oh, I just wish there were something I could do. Tommy loves Herman so much!"

Chas: "I don't know, it looks mighty unsanitary. Soon, it'll start to mildew, and then, good-bye, Charlie! If I were you, I'd throw it away."

Didi: "Oh, dear! I suppose you're right."

[In the next scene, Tommy and Chuckie are now in the playpen.]

Tommy: "It's not fair! Why do my toys always get taken away? Why?"

Chuckie: "Tommy, they don't always get taken away!"

Tommy: "Yes, they do!"

Chuckie: "Maybe Herman's not gone forever."

Tommy: "His name's Henry!"

[Chuckie puts his hand on Tommy's shoulder.]

Chuckie: "Well, um, maybe your mom can buy you a new Henry."

Tommy: "A new Henry?! Whose side are you on anyway, Chuckie?"

[Chuckie gulps.]

Tommy: "It's not fair! It's just not fair! No one in the whole world cares about me!"

Angelica: "Something wrong, cousin Tommy?"

[Tommy and Chuckie both turn to face Angelica, who is standing outside the playpen.]

Tommy: "Angelica!"

Angelica: "The one and only! Now, what's bothering you, Tommy?"

Tommy: "I'll tell you what's bothering me! My <om took away Henry, and she won't give him back!"

Angelica: "Oh, no! That's awful! Who's Henry?"

Tommy: "He's my lion."

Angelica: "Oh, I see!"

[Angelica grabs Tommy by his shirt and pulls him forward.]

Angelica: "Listen, kid, you been robbed! They took away your Henry and there's one way to get him back!"

Chuckie: "Uh-oh, I smell trouble!"

Tommy: "What, Angelica?"

Angelica: "Tommy, you gotta be bad!"

Tommy: "Bad?"

Angelica: "Bad! When you're bad, you get whatever you want!"

Chuckie: "Don't listen to her, Tommy!"

Angelica: "Yes, listen! If I want a Reptar Bar, and someone won't give it to me, know what I do? I get bad! I kick and scream and cry and knock things over until I get it!"

Tommy: "I don't know, it sounds too easy!"

Angelica: "It is easy, and it's fun, too! Well, gotta go! Have a nice day!"

[Angelica lets go of Tommy's shirt and walks away.]

Chuckie: "Phew! She's gone! Good thing we never listen to her, eh, Tommy? Tommy?"

Tommy: "Chuckie, from now on, I'm gonna be bad!"

[The next scene takes place in the kitchen, where a Dummi Bears juice cup can be seen on the table.]

Chuckie: "Tommy, don't do it!"

Tommy: "Chuckie, I've been through a lot in my life! I've been given naps when I wasn't tired, I've been fed yucky beets when I wasn't hungry, I had my temperature taken more times than I want to remember! But Chuckie, this time they've gone too far! I gotta stand up for myself! I'm gonna knock over my juice cup!"

[As Tommy walks towards the table, Chuckie covers his eyes.]

Chuckie: "Oh, I can't look!"

[Tommy climbs onto the chair.]

Tommy: "Okay, here I go!"

[Tommy picks up the cup and looks inside, seeing that it's full.]

Tommy: "Ooh, looks kinda full!"

[Tommy drinks the juice from the cup.]

Tommy: "Mmmm!"

[Tommy sets the cup on the table.]

Tommy: "Apple juice!"

[Tommy picks up the cup and throws it on the floor.]

Tommy: "Ha!"

Angelica: "What are you babies doing now?"

[Angelica walks into the kitchen.]

Tommy: "Oh, hi, Angelica! I was being bad just like you told me!"

[Angelica points to the empty cup on the floor.]

Angelica: "You call that bad?"

[Tommy climbs down the chair.]

Tommy: "What do you mean?"

Angelica: "First of all, when you knock over your juice, you do not drink the juice first!"

[Tommy walks up to Angelica.]

Tommy: "But I didn't want to make a mess!"

Angelica: "'Didn't want to make a mess'?"

[Angelica sighs, then puts one hand on Tommy's shoulder, and points to him with the other.]

Angelica: "Kid, we got some work to do!"

[The screen transitions to the next scene, which takes place in Stu and Didi's bedroom. Angelica is holding onto the dresser drawer, and turns to face Tommy.]

Angelica: "Being bad, lesson one; throwing clothes around the room. Watch and learn."

[Angelica opens the drawer. Tommy gasps as she pulls out a green dress and tosses it on the floor. Chuckie runs up to the dress.]

Angelica: "Now, you try!"

[As Angelica pushes Tommy to the drawer, Chuckie runs up to him.]

Chuckie: "Tommy, don't do it!"

Angelica: "Aw, he's just a fraidy-cat! Now throw the shirt!"

[Tommy grunts as he pulls out a pair of pants and throws it onto the floor. Chuckie runs up to the pants.]

Angelica: "Do it again! And this time, get really, really mad!"

[Tommy grunts as he tosses a green shirt into the air. Chuckie pants as he runs after the shirt, which lands on a lampshade.]

Angelica: "Much better!"

[Tommy and Angelica laugh evilly as they toss clothes all over Stu and Didi's bedroom, which Chuckie tries to catch. The next scene takes place inside the closet as Angelica opens the door.]

Angelica: "Lesson two; being bad means never having to say you're sorry!"

[Tommy and Angelica laugh evilly as they toss clothes out of the closet, which Chuckie runs up to and tries to catch. The next scene takes place in the parlor room, where Tommy and Angelica reach from under the coffee table. Tommy knocks over a vase with flowers in it, and Angelica knocks over a lamp. The vase and the lamp both fall to the ground and crash. Tommy then runs up to a pile of magazines, and Angelica follows behind him. Tommy pushes the magazines over.]

Angelica: "Very good!"

[Chuckie gasps, then runs up to the magazines and picks up pages from them. The next scene takes place in the kitchen, where Tommy is holding a bottle of milk, which he squirts at the camera. The milk is used as a transition to the next scene, where Chuckie is scooping the milk on the floor into the tub with a spoon. The scene after takes place in the bathroom, where Angelica is standing atop a stool, spraying the mirror with FOMO shaving cream. Tommy pulls on the roll of toilet paper, laughing as he does so. Chuckie pants as he tries to rewind the toilet paper back onto the roll. The next scene takes place in the living room, which is now a mess thanks to Angelica and Tommy's bad behavior.]

Angelica: "Not bad! Not bad at all! Tommy, I think you've got it!"

[The camera moves over to Tommy.]

Tommy: "Got what?"

[Angelica walks up to Tommy.]

Angelica: "I think you've got bad!"

Tommy: "'Think'? What do you mean, 'think'? I am bad!"

Angelica: "Oooh! Very good! Let's celebrate by tearing up these newspapers and throwing them all over the house!"

[Angelica points to a pile of newspapers, which Tommy walks up to. The screen transitions to a view of the living room, which is a complete mess thanks to Tommy and Angelica's bad behavior. As the camera moves across the living room, Chuckie talks to Tommy.]

Chuckie: "Tommy, I think you can stop now."

Tommy: "Chuckie, I'm not gonna stop being bad till' I get Henry back!"

[The next scene takes place in the kitchen, which is just as messy as the living room.]

Chuckie: "But what if you never get him back?"

Tommy: "Well, then, I'll just have to be bad forever!"

[The next scene takes place in the hallway, which is just as messy as the kitchen and living room. Tommy and Chuckie can be seen in the parlor room, where Tommy is tossing papers out of the desk drawer.]

Tommy: "I'll live outside the lawn! I'll go from nursery to nursery, with nothing but my big wheel and a bottle of milk! I'll draw on walls and rip up papers, and I'll make em' wish they even touched Henry!"

[Stu and Didi, the latter of whom is holding a Lipschitz book, walk into the parlor room. As Didi talks to Stu, Tommy rips pages out of a book.]

Didi: "I just don't understand it."

[Didi flips through the Lipschitz book.]

Didi: "What do you think's gotten into him?"

Stu: "Don't worry so much, Deed. After all, he hasn't destroyed anything irreplacable."

[Tommy rips out pages from Stu's book of stamps.]

Stu: "Aaaah! My stamp collection!"

[Didi points to a page in the Lipschitz book.]

Didi: "Dont' worry, Stu! Lipschitz says right here, that if you give your child the freedom he needs, he'll be over it in three to four months!"

Stu: "Months?!"

[Tommy pulls on the cord to a desk lamp, pulling it off the desk. He grins happily as it hits the floor, and Stu groans. He and Didi look at each other, then the screen transitions to the next scene, where Tommy and Chuckie are now in the playpen. Angelica is standing outside it.]

Angelica: "So how's it going, Tommy? Do anything bad lately?"

Tommy: "Mmm, nothing much. Just splatted my Daddy with food and poured grape juice in my Mommy's hair."

Angelica: "Not bad for a beginner! Now what about you, Chuckie? Are you gonna join the fun and be bad, too?"

Chuckie: "No, Angelica! I'm happy being good!"

Angelica: "Good? Chuckie, I just don't get you!"

[Chuckie points at Angelica.]

Chuckie: "Tommy's been acting bad just like you told him, but he still doesn't have his lion back, does he?"

Tommy: "Yeah, Angelica! You said being bad would get Henry back!"

Angelica: "Hey, you gotta give it some time! You know what they say, 'Rome wasn't built in an egg'."

Chuckie: "Well, you know what I say? I don't think being bad works! I don't think being bad gets you anything!"

Angelica: "No! It does work! You're just not being bad enough!"

Tommy: "I'm not?"

Angelica: "No! You gotta be a lot badder! Everything we've been doing so far is just kid's stuff! Now it's time to do something really bad!"

[The screen transitions to the next scene, which takes place in the upper hallway. Tommy, Angelica, and Chuckie are all standing outside the door to Stu and Didi's bedroom. Tommy and Angelica look inside, seeing there are no adults in the room.]

Angelica: "Okay, the coast is clear! Now, go for it!"

[Angelica pushes Tommy into Stu and Didi's bedroom.]

Tommy: "Ugh!"

[Tommy walks into Stu and Didi's bedroom. He looks up at Didi's necklace on the vanity.]

Tommy: "My Mommy's favorite necklace!"

[Tommy runs up to the necklace, and grunts as he reaches for it, but he can't quite reach it.]

Angelica: "Hurry up!"

[Tommy grunts as he pulls the footstool under the necklace. He then climbs on top of the footstool and grabs the necklace, then climbs down the footstool and walks out the door.]

Tommy: "Got it!"

Angelica: "Good work!"

[As Tommy holds the necklace up, Angelica puts her hand on his shoulder.]

Angelica: "Now it's time to finish the job!"

[The next scene takes place in Tommy's backyard. Angelica, Tommy, and Chuckie all walk out the back door, which has many broken windows thanks to Tommy and Angelica's bad behavior.]

Tommy: "Angelica, you never said what we were gonna do with the necklace!"

[Angelica, Tommy, and Chuckie walk up to some trash cans.]

Angelica: "Ha ha ha ha ha! Here it is, Tommy!"

[Angelica pulls the lid off one of the trash cans.]

Angelica: "Now alls you gotta do is drop the necklace right into the garbage, and your mean old Mom will never see it again!"

Tommy: "But Angelica..."

[Angelica drops the lid and points at Tommy.]

Angelica: "But what? She took your lion, why shouldn't you take her necklace? Do it!"

[Angelica points at the trash can. Tommy nervously walks over to the trash can, but before he can put the necklace in it, Chuckie stops him.]

Chuckie: "Tommy, wait!"

Angelica: "What do you want?"

[As Chuckie talks to Angelica, Tommy turns to face him. Chuckie walks up to and points at Angelica.]

Chuckie: "I've been quiet all this time, but I can't keep quiet anymore, cause it's wrong! It's just plain wrong! Tommy, don't do it! You start off throwing a necklace in the garbage can, pretty soon, you're breaking windows! Before you know it, you're stealing houses and you end up in prism!"

[Chuckie points at Tommy.]

Angelica: "You stay out of this, Chuckie! Tommy's not afraid of going to jail, are you, Tommy?"

[Angelica turns to face Tommy.]

Tommy: "Uh..."

Chuckie: "You still shouldn't do it, Tommy! It's not nice!"

[Angelica turns to face Chuckie.]

Angelica: "'Not nice'? Ha! Don't make me laugh!"

[Angelica turns to face Tommy again.]

Angelica: "Tommy, just drop the necklace into the trash can like I told you."

[Chuckie waves his arms in disapproval.]

Chuckie: "No, Tommy, no! That's your Mom's favorite necklace!"

[Chuckie points at Tommy, but Angelica clamps her hand over his mouth.]

Angelica: "She threw away your favorite lion, you throw away her favorite necklace! It's only fair!"

[Tommy turns to face Chuckie and Angelica.]

Angelica: "I can't believe this! If you want to be like Chuckie, fine! But if you're not gonna be bad and throw away that necklace, then the grown-ups will never give you anything!"

Tommy: "But Angelica..."

Angelica: "They'll take away your lion, and your dog, and your bottle, and all your toys till' you have nothing but your diapers! And then they'll take those, too!"

[Tommy gulps, then shudders. He drops Didi's necklace.]

Tommy: "Uh, I can't do it! Even if she did take away Henry, my Mom's done too much nice stuff for me!"

Angelica: "You babies! None of you have any guts!"

Tommy: "It was nice of you to try to help me, Angelica."

Angelica: "Give me a break! I work hard to make you bad, and then you go and listen to Chuckie! You babies make me sick!"

[Angelica walks away.]

Tommy: "Chuckie?"

Chuckie: "Yeah?"

Tommy: "Thanks. If it wasn't for you, I would have done something really bad!"

Chuckie: "I'm glad you didn't throw your Mom's necklace away."

Tommy: "Me, too."

[Tommy puts his hand on Chuckie's shoulder.]

Tommy: "Chuckie, you're the bestest friend a baby ever had!"

Chuckie: "Well..."

[Didi walks up to Tommy and Chuckie.]

Didi: "There you are! I've been looking all over for you, Tommy! I washed your lion for you."

[Didi reveals Henry, who is clean and good as new again, behind her back. Tommy grabs him and coos and giggles happily. Didi gasps when she sees her necklace next to him.]

Didi: "My necklace! Where did you find it?"

[Didi picks up the necklace and puts it on.]

Didi: "Oh, thank you, Sweetie!

[Tommy and Chuckie hug Henry and coo happily of laughter. As Didi walks back to the house, Tommy and Chuckie follow her. The camera moves up to Angelica, who is watching from the window above, disgusted with what she saw. She grunts as she pulls down the shade. The screen fades to black, ending the episode.]