Pickles vs. Pickles/Transcript

Transcript

(Close up of a stream of water coming down towards the screen and then pans back to reveal it's a plate of water with a piece of broccoli and mashed potatoes on it. Angelica is behind it, with a spoon and fork in both of her hands, and not wanting to eat it)

Charlotte: Just a little taste, sweetie?

Angelica: No! (Charlotte looks surprised when Angelica snaps)

Drew: Come on, sugarpie. It's good for you. Don't you wanna grow up to be big and strong?

Angelica: No! (her father drops the fork when she shouts)

Charlotte: Honey, the last time you eat broccoli you said it wasn't so bad, remember?

Angelica: (bangs the table) NO!

Drew: Angelica, if you don't eat some broccoli, then you're not gonna get seconds on dessert.

Angelica: But that's not fair! (smashes the plate into the wall where the shadow of Drew is)

Drew: That's it! Go to your room!

Angelica: But, Daddy!

Charlotte: It's too late for talk now, Angelica. We tried to reason with you but you wouldn't listen!

(Angelica gets up off of chair and heads upstairs, but turns back to her parents)

Angelica: YOU'LL BE SORRY!  (Drew and Charlotte are speechless after Angelica said that, hear her slam the door upstairs and look at each other)

(Drew and Charlotte's Bedroom - Night. Drew was walking around the bed and Charlotte in bed reading)

Drew: Charlotte, do you think Angelica was serious when she said, "You'll be sorry?"

Charlotte: What are you talking about, Drew? She's 3 years old. What she's gonna do?

Drew: I suppose your right. Just we raised just a clever resorceful little girl. Sometimes I just don't know what's she's capable of.

Charlotte: Drew, get some sleep, We'll all feel better in the morning.

Drew: Ok Charl.....

(Cut to Angelica's room - Night)

Angelica: It's not fair, Cynthia. The grown-ups always get to decide everything. All they do is to boss me around like a little kid or something. I'm 3 years old!

F. Lee Barnum (on TV): Are you getting a raw deal? Is your boss treating you unfairly? Or perhaps there's a family problem that cries out for third party mediation?

Angelica: The last one! The family thing!

F. Lee Barnum: (on TV): Don't wait! Call us at the offices of F. Lee Barnum and Sons: "We'll fight for you!"

Angelica: Hmmm....

(F. Lee Barnum pulls in the driveway and rings the doorbell)

Drew: Who could that be?

Angelica: More tea.

F. Lee Barnum: Thank you. Hello, I'm here to see uh... Miss Angelica C. Pickles.

Angelica: Now you're talking my language.

Charlotte: Angelica, honey.

Angelica: Yes?

Charlotte: I' like to talk about this lawsuit thing.

Angelica: It's too late for talk now, Mommy. I tried the reason for you, but she wouldn't listen.

Charlotte: Come on, sweetie. Let's get some ice cream and you can tell me what's bothering you.

Angelica: That's awful nice of you, Mommy. But on the advice of counsel, I must decline.

Charlotte: Angelica, if you don't stop all this nonsense right now, I'm gonna-

Angelica: Careful, Mommy. Don't say anything you mught not want repeated in the code of law.

Charlotte: Now you listen to me.

Angelica: Uh-uh-uh. The tape's rolling.

Charlotte: [stammering] Doh'. Drew, call your attorney. We're going to the Man on this one. (Cut to Hershowiz Lawer)

Drew: So you think she has a case?

Mr Hershowiz: I'm afraid so, Mr. and Mrs. Pickles, I was strongly to advice you settle this matter out of the court.

Charlotte: A Settlement!

Drew: He's right, Charlotte. Let's just end this thing as painless thing as possible.

Charlotte: Uh, maybe you're right.

Mr Hershowiz: Angelica's Lawyer faxed a couple of demands. Can I read them?

Drew: Sure, How bad could they be?

Mr Hershowiz: 1. Deserve more 24 hours a day, 2. Deserve Giving Gifts to Angelica Day, 3. A missile and smash up doll, 4. A Command Space Flame Thrower, 5. A pony, 6.-

(Drew who was getting annoyed finally snaps)

Drew: Enough! I am not going to pushed around by my own Daughter!

Mr Hershowiz: (sighs) Very well, we prepared to court.

(Cut to a picture of Angelica who zooms out to reveal a news presenter)

News Presenter: Meanwhile, All of America remains presence, as an case of Angelica Pickles, A charming Three-year old girl who sued her parents for divorce, We take you live for conference.

(Everyone who is watching the news on TVs in a store)

News Reporter: Mr Barnum, Do you really think you have a case here?

F. Lee Barnum: Of course we have a case, this girl has been severely mistreated.

Angelica: Okay, I'll handle this. Miss. Reporterman, I'm not a bad kid, I'm really not, all I ever wanted is a little ice cream, maybe a toy here or there, I mean, doesn't every three year old have right a little kindness. And now you're trying to make me feel like I'm a bad guy, where will it all end. (Angelica's starts Clarissa sobbing about go home, some ice cream and toys. Angelica's stops Clarissa crying sound to get a Supersucker lollipop, Everyone laughs. A Car pulls up and Drew and Charlotte come out)

Citizen 1: Look it's the parents!

(The Crowd keeps saying their names repeatedly)

Mr Hershowiz: My clients has no comments. (He reaches over and covers the camera with his hand) I told you, No Comment.

(Later in court, A judge bangs his gavel)

Judge: Order! Order! (Everyone is silent) This court is now in session. Mr Barnum, Please call your first witness.

F. Lee Barnum: I call for the stand: Mrs. Charlotte Pickles! (We see an El Barato cigar close to the camera and Mr Barnum pulls it away) Now Mrs. Pickles, Is it not true on the last Tuesday Night on August 3rd, That you served your 3-year old Angelica a large piece of broccoli for dinner?

Charlotte: Well that depends on your word: large. I say it was a small piece.

F. Lee Barnum: Mrs. Pickles. Let's not quibble over the size of the serving.

Charlotte: It seems to me. Your the one is quibbling. (Everyone laughs)

F. Lee Barnum: Just answer the question Mrs. Pickles.

Charlotte: What question was that, Mr. Barnum?

F. Lee Barnum: Did you or did you not, Serve you daughter a disgusting piece of broccoli!

Charlotte: (offended) I served my daughter broccoli and I wasn't "disgusting"! I was a very healthy nitrous piece of vegetable Mr Barnum, Rich of Vitamin C, Any parent would do the same!

Angelica: OBJECTION!

F. Lee Barnum: Angelica, I'm doing a questioning, Let me handle this.

Angelica: But you doing a louse chop of yourself, You won't look good!

F. Lee Barnum: (frustrated) How Dare you talk to me like that! I am skilled with months of experience!

Angelica: Your highness, I would like to dismiss my lawyer for discussing conference.

F. Lee Barnum: You don't have to! I would rather quit rather helping a little brat like you!

Angelica: Your majesty, I would like to present my own lawyer.

Judge: Well, I must admit that all of my years that I never heard a three year old representing herself. But, I guess there's no presence against it.

Angelica: Well, See you later Buster! I guess it's back chasing ambushes like you.

(Mr Barnum leaves)

Drew: But the toy store is out!

Angelica: (yawn) Hi, Daddy.

Drew: Hi, sweetie.

Angelica: Daddy, I'm sorry I was a bad girl.

Drew: Sweetie, I'm the one to be sorry. I shouldn't have tried to make you eat the broccoli. From now on, you can try the foods you're ready to try.

Angelica: Daddy, you're the greatest.

Drew: Nicely dye, princess.

Angelica: It works everytime.