| New Kid In Town | Gallery | Transcript |
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(The episode's scene opens with golden grass swaying from the blowing wind, the screen pulls back revealing the grass to be Angelica's hair as she hangs upside down on the monkey bars holding Cynthia)
Angelica: I'm queen of the castle! I'm queen of the castle! I'm queen of the cas--oops! (Cynthia slips from her hand) Sorry, Cynthia.
(Cynthia has been face-planted in the sand where the Rugrats are shown digging around the monkey bars in the sand, they are at the park, the babies are exhausted)
Phil: I'm tired of digging. (Wipes his face)
Lil: Yeah, me too. Let's play on the jumbo gym!
(They do so until Angelica sees them)
Angelica: Hey! Get off my castle!
Tommy: Can't we just play on the bottom?
Angelica: NO! I'm queen of this castle and I'm gonna let a bunch of slobbery babies climb all over it!
Tommy: But Angelic--
Angelica: Now get back to work and finish digging my moat! There could be an evasion any minute! (Peers out and sees Grandpa Lou sleeping under the tree, climbs down): In fact, I'm gonna go get my caterpult now just in case. (grabs Lil and Tommy by the shirts): You guy better have the moat done by the time I come back. (Tosses them and leaves)
Phil: What's a caterpult?
Tommy: (lowly): Beats me. Pass the shovel, Chuckie.
Chuckie: (does so): You know, sometimes I think playing with Angelica might not be as much fun as she says it is.
(The babies continue working, a chubby kid with a cap sees them)
Josh: Hey, babies! (The babies see him coming over, waves): Hi, I'm Josh.
Tommy: Hi, Josh, I'm Tommy. This is Phil and Lil and Chuckie.
(The babies wave to him)
Josh: Nice to meet ya! You guys want to come play with me?
Tommy: Well, we'd like to, but we can't.
Josh: Why not?
Tommy: Angelica said that we got to finish digging her moat, and then we got to fill it with water, and then we got to find a crocodile.
Josh: How come you got to do what she says?
Phil: Cause she's bigger.
Lil: And stronger.
Tommy: And if we don't do what she says, she'll pour sand in our hair.
Josh: Listen, what would you say if I told you there was a jungle gym someplace where any baby could stand up and say whatever they want to? Without getting sand poured on their heads.
Chuckie: I'd say you is crazy.
Josh: Well, I'm not crazy. That place is real. It's my jungle gym and it's right over there (Points to the babies' right)
Tommy: Really?
Josh: Yep, and you're all welcome to come play on it.
Phil: Wow!
Lil: That's neat!
Tommy: Let's go!
Chuckie: But what about Angelica's moat, you guys?
Tommy: Angelica can build her own dumb moat, right? (Throws his shovel down)
Angelica (off-screen): WRONG!! (The babies grasp seeing Angelica arrive with a wagon full of sand) What's going on here?! (Points at Josh): Who are you?!
Josh: I'm Josh. I guess you must be Angelica.
Angelica: I see you've heard of me.
Josh: I heard you boss these babies around and dump buckets of sand of 'em when they don't do what you say.
Angelica: So, what's your point?
Josh: You don't play fair, so your baby friends have decided to come play with me instead.
Angelica: Is this true? (The babies nod) GET BACK TO WORK BEFORE I DUMP A WHOLE TRUCKFUL OF SAND ON YOUR HEADS!!!
(Angelica takes the wagon at the babies scaring them)
Tommy: (Pushes the wagon at Angelica): Not this time, Angelica! We got a new friend now and we're going to go play on his jumbo gym!
(The babies join Josh as they all cross their arms)
Angelica: Alright, babies, tell you what: I'll close my eyes and count to five, and if you're all back to digging, I'll forget this whole thing ever happened. (turns around and does so): One, two, four, seven... (The babies look at each other, turn around): Five! (Sees Josh and the babies running away from her) Hey, get back here! Who's going to dig my moat?! Who's going to catch my crocodile?!
(The babies turn at her)
Chuckie: Maybe we should go back.
Josh: Don't worry, babies. She can't do anything if I'm with ya.
(The babies follow Josh)
Angelica: COME BACK HERE, YOU DUMB BABIES!!!
(The babies make it to Josh's playground)
Tommy: We did it! we're free!
Phil: (Plays on the jungle gym): No more Angelica telling us what to do!
Lil: (Plays along): Or taking away our toys!
Phil: Or making us drink from the potty!
Lil: Phillip, that was your idea.
Phil: (Falls off): Oh, yeah.
Josh: So, babies, what do you want to do?
Phil: You mean we get to decide?
Josh: Sure. Fair is fair.
(The babies smile at this, next scene shows the babies playing on the tires, Josh then runs to a tire swing and swings on it)
Josh: WHEE!! Hey, you guys. (the swing stops) Do you think you could give me a little push? My swing stopped.
Tommy: Sure!
(The babies help Josh swing)
Josh: Whee! Whee! You guys are doing a great job!
Phil: Boy, playing with Josh sure is fun!
Lil: Lots more fun than playing with Angelica!
Josh: Don't stop pushing now, I'm just getting going!
(Chuckie trips)
Tommy: Hey, Josh, can I have a turn on the swing?
Josh: (stops swinging): You want a turn?
Tommy: Uh-huh.
Josh: But, Tommy, swinging on the swing was my idea. It wouldn't be very fair if you took it away from me, would it?
Tommy: Uh, but I just meant--
Josh: C'mon, Tommy, fair is fair. Now push.
(Tommy does so as the babies continue having fun, Angelica watches from her jungle gym)
Angelica: Can you believe that, Cynthia? They're pushing him on that swing! That never did that for me!
(Scene cuts to the babies having cookies)
Phil: I'm sure glad your mom made chocolate chip again, Tommy.
Lil: Yeah, it's my favorite!
(Tommy is about to take a bite until Josh snatches it away from him)
Josh: Pass your cookies over here, babies. (Reaches in his grimy pocket and pulls out a soiled lollipop): I got a better snack for ya. (Give the lollipop to Tommy): Here's a lollipop. Go ahead, you guys can share it.
Tommy: But, Josh, I don't want a lollipop; I want a cookie.
Josh: You want a cookie?
Tommy: Uh-huh.
Josh: Well, that's not very fair.
Tommy: It's not?
Josh: No. See, Tommy, I'm a bigger kid than you, right? (snatches the cookies from the other babies)
Tommy: Yeah.
Josh: And a big kid like me needs all the cookies.
Tommy: Really?
Josh: I'm afraid so, Tommy. Fair is fair.
(Josh wolfs down all four cookies in his mouth, Tommy sighs in disappointment looking at the soiled lollipop)
Angelica: (Watches still): Look at that, Cynthia! Now they're giving him their cookies, and he's not even sitting on them!
Josh: (Brushes the crumbs off his mouth): Okay, babies, time to play a new game!
Tommy: (Smiles): Hey, I know! (Goes to the monkey bars): Let's play astrobat!
Josh: Wait a minute, Tommy. Maybe everyone doesn't want to play that. We got to be fair, you know.
Tommy: Okay.
Josh: Some people here might want to play sand adventure.
Lil: How do you play that?
Josh: You just dig a circle around the castle--I mean, jungle gym and... fill it with water.
Tommy: That sounds a lot like digging a moat.
Josh: A moat?! Oh, no, Tommy, this is sand adventure. It's way different from digging a moat.
Phil: Sounds a lot like digging a moat to me, too.
Josh: (Takes the lollipop back from Phil): Uh-uh. You babies are just too little to see the difference.
Tommy: Well, sand adventure is probably a fun game, but I'd rather play astrobat.
Josh: (Glares suspiciously): What're you saying, Tommy? (Marches close to Tommy)
Tommy: (Nervously sensing danger): Well, I just thought we could play astrobat.
Josh: Look, I decided that we want to play sand adventure. (Pokes Tommy by the nose): And that's what we're going to play.
Chuckie: (Hides behind Tommy, whispers): Don't make him mad, Tommy. He's awful big!
Tommy: But what about playing fair?
Josh: (Chuckles): Tommy. I don't think you understand about this "fair" stuff.
Tommy: I don't?
Josh: See? You don't decide what's fair. There's something else we use to decide what's fair--something very easy to understand. D'you know what it is?
Tommy: Um, no.
Josh: (Makes a fist at Tommy's face): THIS!!!! (Tommy gulps in fear, holds his fist to the other babies): Now, do any of the rest of you still want to play something else? (The babies shake their heads) That's better. NOW DIG, ALL O' YA!!!! Fair is fair! (laughs evilly)
(Josh climbs at the top of the jungle gym as the babies begin digging, Angelica still watches them from afar)
Angelica: I can't believe it, Cynthia! Now they're digging a moat for him! What's next, a swimming pool?!
(Next scene cuts to the babies still digging)
Tommy: You guys, what are we going to do?
Chuckie: I never thought I'd say this, but... I miss Angelica.
Lil: I miss Angelica, too. I miss the way she yelled at us.
Phil: I miss the way she put sand in our diapers.
Tommy: I even miss the way she called me melon head. (The babies sigh sadly) You guys stay here! (Tosses his shovel): I'm going to go for help.
Chuckie: Tommy, no! I don't think that's such a good idea! If Josh finds out...
Tommy: I don't care! (Take a pail and put it on his head): If we don't do something, we're going to be stuck with Josh forever! (He sees Josh reading comics before leaving, Tommy runs to the other playground where Angelica is) Angelica! Angelica! You got to help us!
Angelica: (Sarcastically): Well, well, well. Look who's back. It's the baby from the other side of the playground.
Tommy: Listen, Angelica!
Angelica: What's the matter, happy boy? Tired of your new friend already?
Tommy: We made a big mistake.
Angelica: Really!
Tommy: Josh is even worser than you!
Angelica: (Begins to believe this): What?!
Tommy: He's real mean to us. He bosses us around and makes us push him on the swing and take our cookies and makes us dig moats for him!
Angelica: Who does he think he is, me?!
Tommy: So, are you going to help us?
Angelica: (thinks about it): NO!
Tommy: But we need you!
Angelica: I needed you before to dig my moat, and did you help me?
Tommy: But...
Angelica: Let this be a lesson to you, Tommy! Next time, look before you peek.
Tommy: Angelica, please!
Angelica: (Turns away): Hmph!
(Tommy takes the pail off his head and heads back to the other playground where the babies are still digging a moat, Josh approaches them noticing Tommy's leaving, the babies gasp)
Josh: Where've you been, Baldy boy?!
Tommy: Uh, I just went for a walk.
Josh: Did I tell you you could go for a walk?! (gets at Tommy's face): DID I?!
Tommy: No.
Josh: I didn't think so. Now, listen there's been some talk floating around that maybe some of you babies aren't happy with the way I do business. So, if anyone has any complaints, any problems at all... speak up now. (the babies go frightened) C'mon, anyone? ANYONE?! (flicks Chuckie by the nose): How 'bout you, Chuckie? You got something to say? Phil? (Phil gulps nervously) Lil? So, everyone's perfectly happy here, right? No more complaints. Well, in that case, you'll all be happy to join me in a little game I call... Pillow.
Tommy: Uh, what do we got to do?
Josh: Oh, it's simple. (Forces the babies to lie down on the sand): All you got to do is lie down here in the sandbox. That's perfect. Now don't move.
Chuckie: I like pillows.
Lil: Is this the whole game?
Josh: (gets on the swing): Don't worry. You'll see.
(Josh pushes himself to swing, he swings as high as he can)
Tommy: Uh, Josh, you're not going to try to jump over us, are you?
Josh: No, I wouldn't want to try to jump over you. (The babies sigh in relief) I'm going to jump ON you!
(The babies gasp in shock as Josh starts laughing evilly until a water balloon nearly gets him, the babies gasp noticing this as Josh stops his swing, Angelica has arrived with a wagon full of water balloons with a catapult)
Angelica: The next one won't miss!
Babies: Angelica!
Angelica: (Proudly): That's my name; don't wear it out.
Josh: (Gets off the swing): Hey, what's the big idea?!
Angelica: I'm the big idea! And I say quit messing with these babies! They don't have to be bossed around by you or anybody else! (To the babies): C'mon, get up off the ground, dummies!
(The babies are about to do so):
Josh: GET BACK DOWN THERE!! (The babies quickly do so, to Angelica): This is none of your business! (Slams his foot down on Chuckie): These are MY babies now!
Angelica: This caterpult says different! (Flings another water balloon at Josh getting him)
Josh: Hey!
Angelica: (Prepares another balloon): Want another one, pal?
Josh: Wait a sec. What do you want with a bunch of dumb babies anyway?
Angelica: They may be a bunch of dumb babies, but they're my dumb babies. Now get up!
(The babies do so again)
Josh: Get back down! (The babies quickly do so again, to Angelica): I'm not scared of you!
Angelica: Oh, yeah?!
Josh: Yeah!
Angelica: Well, then maybe you're making a big mistake, bucko!
(She attacks Josh with another water balloon also getting Chuckie)
Chuckie: Hey! Watch it, Angelica!
Angelica: (Prepares another balloon): Give up, cheese brain?
Josh: Tell you what: I'll make you deal. We'll split the babies, 50-50.
Angelica: Hmm... Who gets the heads?
Josh: No, I mean, you take two babies and I'll take two babies. (Takes Phil and Lil and drags them): Couldn't be more fair than that.
Angelica: No way! I came here to get these babies, and I'm not leaving 'til I get 'em all!
(They walk to each other)
Josh: Oh, yeah?
Angelica: Yeah!
Josh: Oh, yeah?!
Angelica: Yeah!
Josh: OH, YEAH?!
Angelica: (pushes him hard): YEAH!!!!
(Josh staggers back and falls on the side by the sand, hit sits up and notices a dark red bruise on his right arm and goes to tears)
Josh: (bawls): WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! MOMMY, SHE PUSHED ME!!!!! (runs off): WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Angelica: AND DON'T EVER LET ME CATCH YOU PICKING ON MY BABIES AGAIN!!!
(Angelica watches Josh run off; the babies hug her)
Tommy: Angelica, you saved us!
Chuckie: You're our hero!
Phil: Thanks, Angelica!
Lil: You're the greatest!
Angelica: (pushes them away in disgust): Ah, quit slobbering!
(Scene cuts to the babies digging a moat for Angelica, who is hanging upside down on the monkey bars, the babies are all happy)
Tommy: I'm sure glad things is back to normal!
Chuckie: Me too!
Angelica: BACK TO WORK, BABIES!!!
Tommy: Isn't she the greatest?
Chuckie, Phil and Lil: Yeah!
(They continue digging at the end of the episode)