| Naked Tommy | Gallery | Transcript |
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Gallery[]
The title card.
Spike whimpers miserably in the sweater Didi put on him
"Yikes! Deed, what have you done to Spike?"
"Don't you think he looks cute?"
"Oh, for goodness sake, he's a dog, Deed, not a... a... a poodle!"
"Oh, for goodness sake, he's a dog, Deed, not a... a... a poodle!"
Spike angrily takes off the sweater
"Good boy, Spike."
"Oh, fine, Spike!"
"If you want to run around naked all day,"
"Then go ahead!"
"Run, Spike! Be free!"
Tommy giggles as Spike jumps into the playpen
"Hey, you two, come and listen to my acceptance speech, will you?"
"Ah, sure, Pop."
An impressed Tommy walks up to Spike
"Wow, Spike!"
"I never noticed before!"
"No wonder you're so happy all the time!"
Tommy's diaper
Tommy's diaper is off.
Tommy untapes his diaper
A now-diaperless Tommy walks up to Spike's back
Tommy takes off his shirt
A now completely naked Tommy climbs onto Spike's back
"Don't worry, Pop, I'm still listening."
"I just want to check on the... aaaah!"
Tommy giggles as he continues to ride around the playpen on Spike with no clothes on
"Stu, what's wrong?"
"Oh, nothing. Tommy just took off his diaper."
"And hurry, this is my big ending!"
"Okay, Champ."
"Let's get this thing back on!"
Stu tapes Tommy's diaper back onto his bottom
"There you go, good as new."
As soon as Stu leaves, Tommy takes off his diaper and tosses it out of the playpen
Stu tries to put Tommy's diaper back on a second time
"Now, just keep it on this time, and..."
Unfortunately for Stu, Tommy takes off his diaper and tosses it out of the playpen again
"Tommy, I'm not kidding!"
Stu tries to put Tommy's diaper back on a third time...
...but Tommy takes it off again, and tosses it onto Stu's head this time
"Get that thing off your head, you're going to give Tommy ideas!"
"Deed, what are we going to do?"
"He won't keep it on!"
"Stu, it's nothing to worry about. It's perfectly natural!"
"Natural?! You think running around with no clothes on is natural?! I don't know what kind of family you're from, Deed,"
Stu puts Tommy's diaper back on one last time
"But in my family,"
"We wore clothes!"
"'Cept of course, for Great Aunt Lois, but that's another story."
"Well, according to Lipschitz,"
"'The spontaneous shedding of clothing by infants is a natural outgrowth of their desire to control their physical environment and explore their personal space'."
"It's just a phase!"
"He'll grow out of it, probably before kindergarten."
As Stu and Didi walk back into the kitchen...
As Stu and Didi walk back into the kitchen, Tommy takes off his diaper and tosses it out of the playpen one last time
but neither of them see it happen.
"Hiya, Deed!
Say, how's Lou's speech comin'?"
"Oh, it's coming along fine, Betty,"
"But he's very nervous."
Betty sets Phil and Lil down in the playpen
"Well, you know, he is recieving an award in front of the full assembly of the fraternal order of Wombats."
Phil and Lil look at each other when they notice that Tommy looks different today
"Do you have a new tooth?"
"No."
"Did you get a haircut?"
"I know!"
"You're butt naked!"
"Why aren't you wearing your clothes, Tommy?"
"Are you taking a bath?"
"So I got rid of 'em!"
"How come you don't want to wear them?"
"Let me ask you this, Lil."
"How come you do?"
"Huh?"
"Phil,"
"Why do you wear clothes?"
"Why are any of us wearing clothes?"
"All they're good for is getting dirty or wet,"
"And then your mom has to change you,"
"And she yanks your shirt up over your head,"
"And why do they do it?"
"So they can put a new shirt on you the next day,"
"And say how cute it looks,"
"Don't you see, Phil and Lil?"
"Yeah, we see, all right."
"You don't have to wear clothes!"
"Or diapers!"
"You can be free!"
"Yay!"
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"Come on, guys,"
"You can do it, too!"
"Just try it,"
"Come on, guys, you can do it, too! Just try it, it feels great!"
"Well, maybe."
Phil helps Lil take off her shoe
Lil sighs happily now that her shoe is off
"I feel better already!"
Phil takes off his shirt...
...and tosses it into a pile with the rest of his clothes
Before Phil and Lil know it, they have completely disrobed
"Phillip!"
"Lillian!"
"Um, Lil,"
"Could I ask you a question?"
"Hey, Stu, where's the man of the hour?"
"Still practicing his speech?"
"Yeah, he's..."
"Aaaah! Now they're all doing it!"
"Heh. Going through that spontaneous shedding of clothing stage, eh?"
"Oh, don't worry, it's just a natural outgrowth of their desire to control their physical environment and explore their personal space!"
"That's what Didi said!"
"Something wrong, Chuckie?"
"What have you done, you guys?!"
"What have you done?!"
"What do you mean, Chuckie?"
"Oh, don't think I haven't noticed, Tommy. You're all totally nakie!"
"So, what's wrong with that?"
"You can't just go around without any clothes on!"
"That's why!"
"So?"
"Well, they spend a lot of time puttin' 'em on you,"
"So they must have a pretty good reason!"
"I don't think that's the reason, Tommy."
"I... I..."
"Oh, I don't know."
"Come on, Chuckie, take 'em off!"
"What's the matter, Chuckie?"
"Need help?"
"No, I don't need help,"
"'Cause I don't want to be nakie! It's just not natural!"
"But Chuckie, all the best people are nakie!"
Spike jumps back into the playpen
"Look, Spike is nakie,"
"And Susie's Cat is nakie,"
"And even Reptar is nakie!"
"Well, I guess if Reptar's nakie..."
Chuckie unsuccessfully tries to take off his shirt
"Great Yyvone Goulagon!"
"What's going on here?!"
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"Philly, Lilly, you're nudists!"
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"Betty,"
"I'm surprised at you!"
"I mean, they're just babies."
"Lipschitz says..."
"Don't start with that hippie Lipschitz, Deed!"
"I don't know what kind of baby commune you're trying to run here,"
"But it's time to face facts,"
"The sixties are over,
"and we lost!"
"So just get with the program, all right?!"
Didi helps Chuckie put his shirt back on
"I don't think their mom's gonna let 'em come back,"
"All 'cause of you makin' 'em get nakie, Tommy!"
"I don't care what anybody says, Chuckie. Nakie is good,"
"Nakie is free,"
"Nakie is... nakie!"
Chuckie groans unhappily
"I can't believe Betty reacted like that."
"Of course she reacted like that."
"Our son's become the high priest of baby nudism!"
"Well, I wouldn't worry, you guys."
"It's just a phase!"
"Yes, but it's a phase that's not going over too well with the neighbors!"
"And what if he gets naked tonight at Pop's dinner?"
"How's the Royal Order of Wombats gonna react to that?"
"You know, I've got Dr. Lipschitz's phone number."
"Maybe I'd better give him a call."
"You do that, Deed. I'm gonna take more practical steps!"
"You're coming with me, champ!"
Tommy waves sadly to Chuckie as Stu takes him away
"Dr. Lipschitz will know what to do."
"After all, he wrote the book."
"Hello. This is Dr. Lipschitz."
"Oh, Hello, Dr. Lipschitz. This is..."
"Thank you for calling the Dr. Lipschitz Baby Talk Hotline."
"If you have a question about nutrition, press one now!"
"I'll show 'em!"
"I'll show 'em all!"
"No son of mine is gonna go through life..."
"...ridiculed for a trivial..."
"...but conspicuous breach..."
"...of the social contract!"
"You have pressed six,"
"Distressing Baby Behavior."
"If your baby seems to laugh at inappropriate moments,"
"Press one now!"
Didi groans unhappily
Stu builds the Pickles Baby Suspenders
"If your baby has been spontaneously shedding his or her clothing,"
"Please press nine now."
"Finally."
"You have pressed nine."
"The spontaneous shedding of clothing by infants is a natural outgrowth of their desire to control their physical environment and explore their personal space."
"Thank you for calling the Dr. Lipschitz Baby Talk Hotline."
"You will be charged $1.95 for the first minute,"
"And nintety-five cents for each additional minute."
"Deed, Chas, the problem is solved!"
"Thanks to my new invention,"
"The Pickles Baby Suspenders!"
"They're cute, Stu,"
"But I don't see..."
"These straps are calibrated to Tommy's weight..."
"...and level of physical development."
"Strong enough to keep Tommy from pulling them off, but..."
"Buffered to prevent any discomfort!"
"This could be a whole new division for Pickles Toys!"
"Well, I'm not sure it's the fashion statement of the year,"
"But I must say it's a relief!"
"At least we'll be able to take Tommy to Pop's dinner!"
"And so, on behalf of the Wombat Club of Winter Haven County..."
"I present this year's Golden Marsupial award to Lou Pickles!"
Tommy, Chuckie, and Didi all applaud for Lou
"Friends, family, and fellow Wombats,"
"There's one reason and one reason only why I'm standing at this podium today,"
"Receiving the highest honor that the exalted order of Wombats can bestow."
Tommy tries to pull off the Baby Suspenders, but to no avail
"It's not because I was born rich,"
"Ho ho, oh, no!"
"Far from it!"
"Or because I've been lucky."
"My poker buddies can tell you that's certainly not the case!
"The reason I'm here tonight..."
As Lou continues his speech, Tommy and Chuckie duck under the table
"Is that I possess a quality that's come to me for quite a while."
"I've gotta get out of this thing!"
"How, Tommy? How?"
"A regular old diaper, sure,"
"But that thing?"
"There's gotta be a way!"
Tommy unsuccessfully tries to pull the baby suspenders off again
"When Louis Kalhern Pickles comes face to face with a problem,"
"He doesn't cry about it,"
"He solves it!"
"I don't know, Tommy."
"I think you're gonna be stuck in your clothes forever!"
"No one hands you your freedom on a silver platter!"
"If you want it, you gotta reach out..."
"And take it!"
As Lou continues his speech, Tommy reaches out from under the table and grabs a fork...
"That was true for our Founding Fathers, and it's true for us!"
...which he uses to break the mechanism on the Baby Suspenders...
...loosening them and allowing him to get them off
"Because unless you earn your freedom..."
"You'll never learn to appreciate it, no Sir!"
Stu and Didi are so bored listening to Lou's speech, that they've fallen asleep
"Chuckie, I'm going out there!"
"In closing, my friends,"
"I would like to give a few words of advice,"
"And it's simply this; don't be afraid of the naked truth!"
Tommy roams around the aisles naked, getting the attention of everyone at the lodge
"'Cause when you get down to the bare bones of life,"
"You find out the truth is all we've got!"
"It's like the man said,"
"Clothes don't make the man,"
"The man..."
Lou gasps when he sees Tommy naked
"Tommy?"
"Oh, no, Stu!"
"Don't panic, Deed."
We'll just pretend he isn't ours."
"Ladies and gentlemen,"
"I'd like you all to meet my grandson, Tommy Pickles!"
Tommy puts Lou's wombat hat on his head
"You know, I've gotten so many phone calls today."
"They liked your speech, Pop?"
"No, they hated my speech!"
"But they think my grandson's the cutest little thing they ever saw,
with or without clothes!"
"So, I finally figured,"
"There's lots of good reasons to wear clothes!"
"They keep us warm..."
"Yeah, but Tommy..."
"They keep the dirt off us..."
"But Tommy..."
"Sometimes, they even look nice!"
"But..."
"Chuckie, I know Spike's nakie, I know Reptar's nakie,"
"But we're not aminals,"
"and we gotta wear clothes!"
Tommy jumps and splashes water, revealing that he and Chuckie are in the bathtub
"Well, whatever makes you happy."
As Didi takes Chuckie away to dry him off...
...Tommy continues playing in the bathtub with his clothes on