Grandpa Moves Out/Transcript

[The episode begins with what looks like a view of a jungle as a pink toucan flies through it. The camera moves up until it reaches the top of the trees, revealing them to be celery stalks in the kitchen of Tommy's house as Stu is cooking chicken cutlets on the stove and Didi is standing at the counter. Didi picks up two wine glasses and walks towards the table, where Tommy is in his high chair, reaching for the vegetables on the table and cooing happily. Didi sets the wine glasses on the table and walks towards Stu, who is flipping the chicken cutlets with the spatula.]

Didi: "The spatula! Stu, I need the spatula today!"

Stu: "I'm using it, Deed. These cutlets aren't gonna flip themselves, you know!"

Didi: "The Hendersons will be here any minute, and you're still flipping cutlets? Men!"

[Didi picks up a devilled egg from the tray in front of her as Lou walks in with his new fishing rod, the Flymaster 2000. As Lou talks to her, she puts the devilled egg, as well as several more from the tray, onto a plate.]

Lou: "Check it out, my new Flymaster 2000, terminator of the undersea world! Wanna see me cast?"

Didi: "That's nice, Pop."

[Lou walks over to the plate of devilled eggs. He picks one up and eats it.]

Lou: "Heh. Needs a little more of a kick, if you ask me!"

[Lou reaches into the cupboard above and pulls out a pepper shaker. He shakes the pepper from it on the devilled eggs.]

Didi: "Pop, you really don't need to..."

Lou: "This stuff will really give it that je ne sais what!"

[The lid falls off the pepper shaker, causing the entire shaker's contents to fall out and cover the devilled eggs completely.]

Didi: "Oh, pop! They're ruined!"

Lou: "Not necessarily!"

[Lou picks up one of the devilled eggs and wipes the pepper off on his shirt. Before he can eat it, Didi picks up the plate of devilled eggs and takes it away.]

Didi: "Don't you think you've helped enough already?"

[Lou walks up to Stu, who is now flipping the chicken cutlets with the frying pan.]

Lou: "Well, Stu here appreciates my culinary touch! Ain't that right?"

Stu: "Sure, Pop."

[Stu picks up a pepper shaker and shakes the pepper from it onto the chicken cutlets as Lou opens the refrigerator door and pulls out a pitcher of orange juice. He then closes the door.]

Lou: "Now, how about a little orange juice to liven up that chicken?"

Stu: "Actually, I..."

[Before Stu can finish, Lou pours the orange juice into the frying pan, causing the chicken cutlets to catch fire.]

Stu: "Pop! Look, Pop, if you want to help, why don't you just make a salad?"

Lou: "Fine!"

[Lou walks up to the kitchen table, where Tommy has grabbed a carrot and is about to put it in his mouth.]

Lou: "Salad time, eh, Scout?"

[Lou takes the carrot away from Tommy, causing him to cry. This gets the attention of Stu and Didi, the latter of whom gasps. Lou murmurs to Tommy, trying to calm him down. Didi walks up to him.]

Didi: "Pop, maybe you should take your new bowling ball and go watch TV!"

[As Tommy continues crying, Lou walks out of the kitchen. He then walks into the living room, and sits down in his chair. Spike, who is chewing on a bone is next to it.]

Lou: "Hey, Spike! How bout' a game of fetch?"

[Lou reaches for Spike's bone, and Spike growls angrily at him.]

Lou: "Fine! Have it your way!"

[Lou sets down his Flymaster 2000 and picks up the remote. The TV turns on, to a commercial for Flushing Waters Retirement Center, featuring Roberto Mazatlan. He is in a Hawaiian background, with two hula dancers behind him.]

Roberto: "Hello, I'm Roberto Mazatlan, for Flushing Waters Retirement Center!

[The camera and Roberto move over to the Flushing Waters Retirement Center sign. As Roberto talks, the background changes to some mountains, then the Eiffel Tower, then the Taj Mahal.]

Roberto: "Flushing Waters is a wonderful home, where Senior citizens can truly enjoy their golden years!"

Lou: "Hey!"

[In the commercial, Roberto is in a room with corinthian leather chairs.]

Roberto: "Relax in our lounge chairs of rich, corinthian leather,"

'Lou: "Hmmm."

[The background changes to a fancy-looking dining hall.]

Roberto: "Treat yourself to generous portions, in our fine dining hall,"

Lou: "Oooh!"

[The background changes to Niagra Falls.]

Roberto: "And if you're a fisherman, head outside, where the fish are always biting in our private stream!"

Lou: "Private stream?"

Roberto: "Yes, private stream!"

[A light shines on Roberto's teeth. As Roberto talks, the camera zooms out on him, revealing the background to be of a golf course. The camera then moves over to the FLUSHING WATERS RETIREMENT CENTER sign.]

Roberto: "So why live with ingrate children? Come to Flushing Waters! It's a fantasy come true!"

[The screen transitions to the next scene, where Lou puts his fishing hat in his suitcase with the rest of his clothes. He then closes his suitcase and picks it up. He walks into the kitchen, wearing a fur coat, and holding his suitcase in one hand and his Flymaster 2000 in his other.]

Lou: "See you later, folks!"

[As Didi is washing dishes in the sink, Stu sets the plate of overpeppered devilled eggs on the table. He then turns to face Lou.]

Stu: "Sure, Pop!"

Lou: "A fella like me's smart enough to know when he's not wanted anymore."

[As Didi talks to Lou, she hands Stu a new plate of devilled eggs.]

Didi: "That's nice, Pop."

Lou: "And don't pretend you really want me around, because I'm movin' out!"

[As Stu talks to Lou, Didi hands him the plate of overpeppered devilled eggs.]

Stu: 'Whatever you say, Pop!"

[Lou walks away. As soon as he's out of sight, Stu and Didi look at each other in shock.]

Stu and Didi: "Moving out?!"

[Lou drives away in his car. The screen transitions to the next scene, where the leaves change color and fall from the trees, implying it is autumn. One leaf is used as a transition to the next scene, where it is snowing, implying it is winter. A bluebird flies by, and is used as a transition to the next scene, where the weather is sunny again, implying it has been a year since Lou moved out. However, this is quickly brought down by the caption that says, ONE WEEK LATER in white letters as Drew parks his car in the driveway of Tommy's house. Stu walks up to the front door and opens it. Drew and Angelica are on the other side, and walk into Tommy's house.]

Drew: "Hey, Stu! Crazy weather we've been having this week, huh?"

Stu: "I'll say!"

[Stu closes the front door. Tommy is now in the playpen, holding his ball. He has a sad look on his face as Angelica walks up to the playpen. She opens the playpen's latch and walks up to Tommy.]

Tommy: "Angelica, something terrible's happened! Grandpa's disappeared!"

[Tommy stands up, and his ball rolls away.]

Tommy: "I looked everywhere for him! Under the bed, behind the curtains,"

[As Tommy continues talking to Angelica, he pushes the curtains back and looks out the window at Spike's doghouse.]

Tommy: "Even in Spike's doghouse! He's gone!"

[Angelica walks up to Tommy.]

Angelica: "I know where he is!"

[Tommy turns to face Angelica.]

Tommy: "He's in the closet, isn't he? I knew it!"

Angelica: "Oh, Tommy, you're so silly! Grandpa doesn't live here anymore, he moved out!"

[Angelica points behind herself.]

Tommy: "Moved out? But, well, when's he coming back?"

Angelica: "Never, I guess. He went to the tired center."

[Angelica walks up to a pink chair and sits down in it.]

Tommy: "Tired center? What's that?"

[As Angelica talks to Tommy, he walks up to her.]

Angelica: "It's where old people go to live when they get tired! Everyone there has big, comfy beds, and they take lots of naps!

[Tommy has a surprised expression on his face as the camera zooms in on him. In the kitchen, Stu is on the phone with Lou.]

Stu: "Golly, it sounds pretty luxurious, Pop."

[Lou talks to Stu unintelligibly over the phone.]

Stu: "Yeah, yeah, great. We'll, we'll see you in a couple of hours!"

[Lou talks unintelligibly over the phone. Stu hangs up the phone, and the camera zooms out on him, revealing Didi and Drew to be standing next to him.]

Stu: "Well, Pop says it's a pretty ritzy joint over there!"

Drew: "Yeah, maybe, but I still think he'd be happier at home!"

[Stu, Didi, and Drew all walk out of the kitchen and into the living room.]

Stu: "Well, when we go to visit, we'll convince him to swallow his pride and come back!"

Didi: "Now, Stu, remember, if we push him too hard, he'll just get more stubborn!"

[Stu is now outside the playpen as he looks over at Tommy and Angelica.]

Stu: "Come on, kids! We're gonna visit Grandpa!"

[Stu picks up Tommy and carries him away. Tommy has a smile on his face, having heard that he's going to visit lou. The screen transitions to a view outside Flushing Waters Retirement Center, which is a lot more run-down compared to the commercial advertising it. Specifically, the N and the C are both missing from the sign above the doorway.]

Didi: "Are you sure this is it? On the phone, Pop said it was just like the Country Club!"

[The camera zooms out, revealing Stu, Didi, Drew, and Angelica to all be walking up to the doorway. Didi is carrying Tommy in her arms. They all walk up to the FLUSHING WATERS RETIREMENT CENTER sign, which has one of its supports broken.]

Stu: "Flushing Waters, this is it!"

[The next scene takes place inside Flushing Waters Retirement Center. The Receptionist is reading a magazine as Mildred, an elderly lady, is sleeping in a chair. The automatic doors open, and Stu, Didi, Drew, and Angelica all walk inside.]

Stu: "Hi, we're here to see Lou Pickles (1991)!"

Receptionist: "Oh, I'm sorry, we don't allow juvenile visitors."

Didi: "Oh, oh, but this is my husband!"

Receptionist: "No, I meant the children. They can be very noisy and disturb the residents!"

[Stu walks up to the Receptionist.]

Stu: "Not these kids! They never cause any trouble, they just want to see their grandfather!"

[Tommy smiles. Angelica jumps in next to him and smiles as well.]

Didi: "Maybe if we could speak with the Manager?"

[The Receptionist picks up the sign that says, RECEPTIONIST in front of her, and flips it over, revealing it to say, MANAGER on the other side.]

Receptionist: "I am the Manager!"

Didi: "Well, we can't just leave the kids here!"

Receptionist: "You may leave the children with Mildred, our resident surrogate grandmother."

[Mildred is reading a book that says, THREE LITTLE PIGS. She turns to face Didi.]

Didi: "Oh, I couldn't impose!"

[Mildred gets out of her chair and walks up to Didi. She holds out her arms.]

Mildred: "Honestly, it's my pleasure! I get extra ginger snaps for this!"

Didi: "Well, in that case..."

[Didi hands Tommy over to Mildred. She then opens up Tommy's diaper bag, revealing bottles and diapers inside it.]

Didi: "Here's his diaper bag, there are toys and a picture book in the side pocket. There's also a bottle and some formula, a list of emergency numbers, and a sweater in case he gets cold."

[Didi hands Tommy's diaper bag to Mildred, then waves at Tommy.]

Didi: "Bye, Tommy! Mommy will be back soon!"

[Drew kisses Angelica on her cheek.]

Drew: "Now, you be good for the nice lady!"

Angelica: "Okay, Daddy!"

[Angelica walks up to Mildred. Stu, Didi, and Drew all walk away. The Receptionist presses a button on her desk. An alarm sounds, and the doors open. Stu, Didi, and Drew all walk through the doorway. The doors close, then the screen transitions to the next scene, which takes place in Lou's bedroom. Lou is in his vacation attire and sitting on his bed.]

Stu: "So, this is it?"

Lou: "Pretty snazzy, eh?"

[Stu and Drew stare at each other in question. Didi then walks up to Lou.]

Didi: "Uh, 'Snazzy' isn't the word."

Drew: "It's beyond snazzy, Pop!

Stu: "Yeah, it's positively swank!"

[Lou gets up from his bed.]

Lou: "Come on, I'll give you the tour!"

[Lou walks away, until he steps on a loose floorboard.]

Lou: Now, watch out for the loose board!"

[The screen transitions back to the waiting room, where Mildred is sitting on the couch, and Tommy and Angelca are sitting in her lap as the Receptionist reads through her magazine. The camera zooms in on Mildred.]

Mildred: "How would you kids like to see pictures of my grandchildren?"

Angelica: "You're a Grandma, Miss Old Lady, Ma'am?"

Mildred: Oh-ho, yes, I have seven grandchildren!"

[Mildred reaches offscreen and pulls out a wallet with pictures of her grandchildren. The first child is a girl with brown hair, the second is a happ-looking boy with red hair, the third is a sneezing boy with blonde hair, the fourth is a grumpy-looking boy with dark hair, the fifth is a silly-looking boy with brown hair, the sixth is a shy-looking boy with green hair, and the seventh is a sleeping girl with red hair.]

Mildred: "This is Doc, and here's Happy, and Sneezy, and Grumpy, and Dopey, and Bashful, and... uh... I, I always forget the seventh one!"

Angelica: "Sleepy?"

Mildred: "Actually, now that you mention it, I could use a little nap!"

[Mildred drops her wallet and stretches. She then falls asleep, snoring. Tommy looks up at her in question.]

Tommy: "She must be tired!"

Angelica: "Course, that's why she's in a tired center, silly! Now, let's go find Grandpa!"

[Tommy and Angelica try to walk away, but stop, stare in shock, and gasp. Roberto Matatlan passes by them, counting the money he scammed out of the elderly people with his commercial.]

Roberto: "23,600, 23,700, 23,800... ha ha ha!"

[Angelica looks over at the open doorway. She and Tommy run through it just before the doors close, then they walk down the hallway.]

Tommy: "Angelica, is everyone in the tired center a Grandma or Grandpa?"

Angelica: "Hmmm, I guess."

Tommy: "Then there are lots of kids like us whose Grandmas and Grandpas can't play with them cause' they're too tired!"

Angelica: "So?"

Tommy: "So, if the old people weren't so tired, they could go home and play and everyone'd have their Grandpas and Grandpas back!"

[As Tommy talks to Angelica, an elderly man with a cane is sleeping in a chair next to them.]

Angelica: "So all we gotta do..."

Tommy: "Is wake up all the old people!"

[Angelica pushes a door open. Inside the room behind the door is a sleeping Elderly Man, who, according to some dialogue later in the episode, was a former sailor. Angelica and Tommy look in the room, and Angelica tugs on the man's arm.]

Angelica: "Wake up, Mr. Someone Else's Grandpa, wake up!"

[The Elderly Man continues sleeping.]

Tommy: "Angelica, it's not working! He must be really tired.]

[Angelica turns to Face Tommy and sticks her tongue out.]

Angelica: "Hmm..."

[Angelica looks over at the nightstand near the Elderly Man. A pitcher of cold water can be seen next to his dentures.]

Angelica: "Dont' worry, I know what to do!"

[Angerlica runs towards the nightstand. In the next scene, Lou takes Stu, Didi, and Drew to the Activity Center, where various elderly people are playing games.]

Lou: "Ta-da!"

[Lou and Drew walk into the Activity Center.]

Drew: "This is it, Pop? Uh, this is the Activity Center?"

Lou: "Something wrong with it?"

Drew: "Oh, no! I, I just thought there'd be a little more... activity.

[Lou points at Drew.]

Lou: "Let me tell you something, sonny! You gotta look far and wide to find cribbage players like these!"

Elderly Man: "Oh!

[The Elderly Man falls onto the table. Back in the other Elderly Man's room, Angelica picks up the pitcher of cold water.]

Angelica: "My Mommy always says there's nothing like a cold shower to wake you up in the morning!"

Tommy: "I don't know, Angelica, maybe..."

[Before Tommy can finish, Angelica pours the cold water onto the Elderly Man, waking me up.]

Elderly Man: "Huh? Don't submerge, Admiral! I'm still on deck!"

[The Elderly Man looks down at Tommy and Angelica, the former of whom smiles at him, and the latter of whom stares in question.]

Elderly Man: "Hey, you're not the Admiral!"

Angelica: "Run, Tommy, run!"

[Angelica grabs Tommy's hand and runs away, dragging him along.]

Tommy: "Aaah!"

[In the next scene, Stu is at the table, running his spoon through a plate of pork and beans. The camera moves from him to Drew. Lou is holding a spoonful of pork and beans.]

Lou: "Best pork and beans in the state, I'd say!"

Drew: "Uh, what about that fancy french cuisine you were telling us about, Pop?"

Lou: "The French? Ha ha! I use their food for bait!"

[Lou scoops up some pork and beans with his spoon.]

Lou: "Give me good old American pork and beans any day!"

Didi: "Pop, I agree with you! This food is wonderful!"

[Didi scoops up a spoonful of pork and beans and eats it, then finds out it tastes terrible. She swallows it, then chuckles as she pushes her plate away.]

Didi: "Well, I'm full."

[The camera moves past an Elderly Man pushing the spout of a container with a sign that says, CREAMED HAM, which is next to containers with signs that say, CREAMED POTATOES and CREAMED TOAST, respectively. Another Elderly Man is pushing the spout of another container, pouring gravy onto his food. Tommy and Angelica are standing next to a table with a can of coffee on it. Angelica points to the can.]

Angelica: "You see, Tommy? That there coffee is what big people drink when they want to get waked up! Alls we gotta do is add the stuff in that can to that bucket of water,"

[Angelica points to a bucket of water that says, CAUTION, WET FLOOR in red letters.]

Angelica: "And we got coffee!"

Tommy: "I'll climb up there and get it!"

[Tommy grunts as he jumps and reaches for the can of coffee. He misses and falls over, then sighs in disdain. He then looks over at an electric scooter, then turns right-side up.]

Tommy: "I got a idea!"

[The next scene takes place at a pool as the camera moves up to Lou's reflection in the water.]

Lou: "My own private fishing creek, a lifelong fantasy!"

[Stu, Didi, and Drew all walk up to Lou.]

Drew: "Well, this isn't exactly a creek."

[The pool is revealed to have a spitting fish statue in the middle, and a gristmill on the side.]

Lou: "Aw, it does just fine!"

Stu: "Where do the fish come from?"

Lou: "Well, actually, they're, uh, uh, well, purchased!"

Drew: "Purchased? You mean they buy the fish and put them in this little pond thing?"

Lou: "I guess you could say that."

Stu: "So, you come out here with your fishing rod and, uh..."

Lou: "Net, actually."

Didi: "Net?"

Lou: "The fish are kind of expensive, you see. We're supposed to catch them with nets, and then, put them back when we're done."

Drew: "Now, let me get this straight; you just dip a net into a pool of store-bought fish? Sounds great!"

[Lou points at Drew, then at Stu and Didi.]

Lou: "Listen, don't knock it! I'm a lot more active than I ever was back home, I'll tell you that!"

[Stu and Didi look at each other in confusion. Back in the cafeteria, Tommy and Angelica push the electric scooter up to the table with the can of coffee on it. Angelica climbs onto the electric scooter, hitting the switch that turns it on with her foot. Just as she grabs the can of coffee, Tommy steps on the lever with his foot, pushing it down, and causing the scooter to back up.]

Angelica: "Ugh!"

[The can of coffee falls to the floor. The electric scooter back up, with Tommy and Angelica riding on it.]

Tommy and Angelica: "Aaaah!"

[The electric scooter back up through the doors, then turns around, driving itself forwards through the hallway.]

Tommy and Angelica: "Whoa!"

[The electric scooter turns a corner.]

Angelica: "Whoa! Whoa!"

Tommy: "Whoa! Hey, this is fun!"

[Stu, Didi, Drew, and Lou walk back into the hallway.]

Didi: "Well, Pop, I, I think you're doing... great here."

Drew: "So do I!"

[Drew puts his hand on Lou's shoulder.]

Stu: "Me, too!"

[Stu, Didi, and Drew all look at each other.]

Drew: "Oh, come on, now, Pop!"

Didi: "Pop, this is ridiculous! Please come home!"

Stu: "You can't be here, Pop!"

Lou: "It's out of the question!

[Stu, Didi and Drew all gasp.]

Lou: I'm a retired old man, and this is where I belong!"

['Tommy and Angelica pass by on the electric scooter. Stu, Didi, Drew, and Lou all look at them.]

Tommy and Angelica: "Whee!"

Didi: "Say, didn't those kids speeding by on the electric scooter look just like Tommy and Angelica?

Drew: "Yeah, they sure did."

[Stu, Didi, Drew, and Lou all realize that the children on the electric scooter are indeed, Tommy and Angelica.]

Stu, Didi, Drew, and Lou: "Tommy and Angelica?!"

[Stu, Didi, Drew, and Lou all run after Tommy and Angelica. Tommy and Angelica continue riding the electric scooter as it runs towards a pair of doors. They both stare at them in shock.]

Tommy and Angelica: "Aaaah!"

[The electric scooter pushes the doors open. Didi, Drew, and Lou all run through, but Stu is follwing behind them, until he slams into a door that closes on him.]

Stu: "Aaaah!"

[Tommy and Angelica ride the electric scooter as it runs towards two movers carrying a tank of fish. The movers life the tank up as they drive under it, and Didi and Lou run after them. As the movers lower the tank, Drew, who is following behind Didi and Lou, hits the tank with his head and falls over.]

Drew: "Ugh!"

[The tank falls and spills its water on Drew. Tommy and Angelica now drive the electric scooter under a table, where an elderly couple is playing a game of cribbage. They knock the table over, spilling the marbles onto the floor. Didi opens the doors and gasps as she slips on the marbles.]

Didi: "Oh!"

[Didi slips towards a door with a sign that says, FIRE EXIT EMERGENCY ONLY. She lands on the handles, pushing the door open. The EXIT sign above it flashes and the fire alarm goes off. An Elderly Man in an adjustable bed wakes up upon hearing it, and moves his bed up. An Elderly lady in a wheelchair claps her hands, and a lamp turns on. All the senior citizens walk out of their rooms, grumbling unintelligibly. Some of them are carrying their suitcases. Tommy and Angelica drive by an Elderly Man with a walker. Lou catches up to them, and is near a sign that says, FISHING CREEK SUPPLIES and some fishing nets and fishing rods. Lou sees them as they drive into the next room and head towards the wall. He then grabs a fishing rod and casts it at Tommy and Angelica, who both stare in shock.]

Tommy and Angelica: "Aaaah!"

['Lou's fishing rod latches onto the electric scooter. He struggles to reel it in.]

Lou: "Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!"

[Lou pulls the electric scooter back, causing its wheels to break off. Tommy and Angelica cover their eyes as the alarm stops, then uncover them. Lou drops his fishing rod and runs up to Tommy and Angelica, then picks them up.]

Angelica: "Grandpa, you saved us!"

[Tommy giggles. Lou walks out the automatic doors, carrying Tommy and Angelica in his arms. All the senior citizens outside turn their attention to Lou, Tommy, and Angelica, and walk up to them.]

Elderly Lady: "Awww, cute little kids!"

Lou: "Gosh, I missed you sprats! Without you, life's just plain boring!"

Elderly Lady: "Awww! Are those both your grandchildren?"

[The receptionist taps Lou's shoulder. Lou turns to face her.]

Receptionist: "Mr. Pickles, I'm sorry. After all the problems your visitors have caused, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave Flushing Waters!"

Lou: "Leave Flushing Waters? Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! You hear that, Scout? I'm coming home!"

[Tommy hugs Lou's head, and Lou jumps excitedly.]

Lou: "Yippie!"

[Stu, Didi, and Drew all walk up to Lou.]

Stu: "Hey, Pop, we're sorry if we were insensitive before."

Didi: "We'll try harder, honest!"

Drew: "Really they will! They'll do whatever you want!"

Stu: "So what do you say, Pop? You forgive us?"

[Lou sets Angelica down and walks up to Stu, then puts his hand on his shoulder.]

Lou: "Oh, I suppose so."

[In the next scene, Lou is in Stu's car. Stu drives away as the senior citizens wave goodbye to him.]

Elderly Lady: "Come on back now! Come back!"

Another Elderly Lady: "Have a good time!"

Elderly Lady: "Adios, Lou!"

Another Elderly Lady: "Have a good time with your grandchildren!"

[Stu drives his car up to a Clam gas station.]

Lou: "Stu, I gotta go back."

[Stu stops his car.]

Stu: "But Pop, I thought you were coming home."

Lou: "I am. But I left my car and all my stuff back at the retirement center."

[Stu turns his car around, and drives it back to Flushing Waters. The screen fades to black, ending the episode.]