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| Gimme an "A" | Gallery | Transcript |
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Script[]
( buzzing )
Whoa!
Come in, Charles.
Good morning, kids.
I hope we're
not late, Didi.
No, we have...
exactly seconds.
All right, kids,
you're going with Tommy's mommy
to her school,
so don't lose your socks
and cover your mouth
when you cough.
Chuckie, tell Didi
if you have to go potty.
Kimi, don't step
in any puddles.
And...
Uh, you might
want to remind them
to breath and blink
their eyes, eh, Chas?
Huh? Oh.
Do you think
I should?
They'll be fine,
Charles.
It's just that the kids
have never been
part of an experiment before,
except when Chuckie stuffed
a pickle in the VCR.
Come on, Betty, we have to go,
too, I'm going to be late.
What about Tommy?
Oh!
She's learning
so much new stuff,
it's pushing the old stuff
right out.
Stu?
I'm leaving.
Make sure you defrost
the chicken.
( Stu snoring, dog growling )
Come on, everybody,
we're off to college.
How come we're
going to college
when we haven't even gone
to preschool yet, Tommy?
I thought you had to count
before you went to college.
I was pretty sure
you had to be
potty trained first.
Guys, my mommy wouldn't take us
to college if we wasn't ready.
( clock bell chimes )
DIDI: I worked so hard on my experiment, Betty. I've developed a breakthrough theory that could eliminate a childhood problem.
You found a way to
get rid of baby poop?
No.
I mean, I may have
found a way to help
babies relax
so they can
fall asleep easier.
Ha! If you can
do that, Deed,
they'll name a state
after you.
( honks horn )
( screams, groans )
( reciting algebraic formulas )
Or does it?
Oh, no, college peoples don't
talks like regular peoples.
I'm never going to
understand college.
Uh! That guy has finger paint
in his hair.
Maybe we are ready for college.
( snoring )
All right, kids,
you wait here.
You're going
to be part of
an important
college experiment.
KIMI: Wow, college is full of toys.
I hope the babies respond
to my experiment
in front of the class.
( babies giggling )
Maybe I'd better
try it once
before the professor
arrives.
DIDI: If my theory is correct, this music should focus the babies' attention and calm them down.
( lullaby playing )
What are we supposed
to do with this?
I'm not sure,
but it's making me
kind of sleepy.
Maybe we're
apposed to dance.
Let's do it.
( babies singing gibberish )
I knew I shouldn't
have given the twins
that second pudding
this morning.
Oh, my.
( lullaby and singing
stop abruptly )
Oh... this is
terrible, Betty.
I've worked so hard
on this experiment.
I've just got to get an "A"
or I'll...
I'll just cry.
Ah, don't worry,
Deed--
there's always
vocational school.
Refrigeration repair
is very big right now.
My mommy says she needs to
get a "A" or else she'll cry.
I don't want your mommy
to cry, Tommy.
Yeah.
Me neither.
Poor Tommy's mommy.
I'll fight any emnemy.
I'll climb the highest fountain.
I'll do anything to help
my mommy gets a "A."
But first...
we gots to find out
what a "A" is.
Hey, I know what an "A" is.
It's a letter--
like in the "ABDs."
And it looks like this.
An "A" looks like
a ballyrina?
He's not a ballyrina, Lillian,
he's a Christmas tree.
No, he's not, Phillip.
He's a
ballyrina.
A Christmas tree.
Ballyrina.
Guys, stop!
We gots to find my mommy's "A."
But where are we going to
find it, Tommy?
Oh, they got letters
in storybooks,
uh... and I saw
lots of college peoples
carrying storybooks outside.
Let's go find them.
MAN ( over megaphone ):
They can't raise prices
in the cafeteria.
We won't stand for it.
Lunch is a human right.
CROWD:
Lunch is a human right!
Lunch is a human right!
Lunch is a human right!
Lunch is a human right!
I think that's an "A"
on one of those signs.
Go get it, Chuckie.
CROWD:
Lunch is a human right!
Uh, maybe it's not an "A"--
it looks like it might be a "B."
Oh, if we get the wrong one,
my mommy's going to cry.
I cry a lot, it's not so bad.
Okay, I'll get it.
MAN:
And now, we are going to chain
ourselves together
to show unity.
( crowd cheering )
Oh, no, Chuckie's
getting chainded.
CROWD:
Lunch is a human right!
Lunch is a human right!
Lunch is a human right!
Lunch is a human right!
Gots an idea.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
( screams )
( groaning )
( screaming, thud )
( moans )
Chuckie, are you okay?
( groans )
Oh, college is hard, Tommy.
GIRL:
Oh, I got an "A."
( shouting fades )
Calculus is so difficult,
and I never got higher
than a "B+"
but I finally got an "A."
Isn't that way cool?
( students gasp )
( girl giggling )
Go on, guys, follow that "A."
( rock music playing )
Ew!
PHILLIP:
They play with mud in college.
Oh, I love this place.
( shouts )
There she is--
and there's the "A."
Go ahead, guess.
You popped a zit?
No.
You're changing dorms?
No.
You're changing
schools?
GIRL:
Look.
So what, some guy
named Eduardo
got an "A" on
his calculus test?
( gasps )
What?
This... this isn't
my paper?
I... I didn't get an "A"?
Whatever.
( echoing ):
I didn't get an "A."
( sobbing )
( screaming, sobbing )
Guys, it's true.
When you don't gots a "A,"
you cry.
We gots to keep looking.
CHEERLEADER:
Give me an "A."
What's it spell?
"Kimyuka!"
CROWD:
Yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk, yuka!
Chuckie, is that
an "A"?
CROWD:
Yuk, yuk, yuk, yuka!
It's the biggest,
bestest "A" I ever sawed.
Go, Kimyuka College!
( cheerleaders cheering )
We'll never get up there.
CHEERLEADER:
Go, Kimyuka...
We don't gots to.
( cheerleaders screaming )
( thudding )
TOMMY:
She threw it away.
Come on.
( rumbling )
I hear thunder,
but I don't see any clouds.
( players hooting )
( hooting fades )
There.
We did it.
We found
my mommy's "A"!
( babies cheering )
Good, because I need a nap.
MAN:
And so you can see
that by placing the baby's crib
on the north side of the room
facing away from the window
said baby can achieve
magnetic balance
with the Earth's
centrifugal force.
Observe.
( globe humming )
( scattered applause )
Sounds like he's lost
his magnetic balance.
Uh, very fine presentation.
( sighs )
And next up is Didi Pickles.
Ms. Pickles?
Yes, Professor.
If you'll please gather
around the observation window,
I'll begin the experiment.
( yawning )
DIDI:
Oh...
An "A."
Thank you, Tommy.
It's beautiful.
You always make me
so happy.
This is the most
important "A"
I'll get all day.
( lullaby begins playing )
Now, stay right here.
It worked, Tommy.
We made your mommy
happy again.
Maybe that means we are
ready for college, Kimi.
Well, I don't likes
being in college.
They worry about
the silliest things.
I gots more important stuffs
to worry about,
like monsters and...
( yawns )
losing my socks.
You still gots
nappy time here.
( yawns )
( lullaby continues )
If my observations are correct,
the soothing music I'm playing
in the other room
will activate the subjects'
pineal glands
causing them to secrete
high levels of melatonin
and initiating a calming state
in the babies...
Ms. Pickles?
Excellent work--
"A+".
Huh?
( lullaby continues,
babies cooing)
Goodness.
Well, I... I guess
I have good subjects.
PHIL: I didn't know Tommy could fly.
LIL: He can't.