| Chuckie's Wonderful Life | Gallery | Transcript |
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(As the episode opens, it begins with the exterior of the Finster residence, the next shot goes to the interior where the Rugrats are looking at a shining CD in a case on a little table from inside the playpen)
Tommy: It's the neatest thing I ever sawed!
Lil: Yeah!
Phil: Let's go play with it!
(the babies minus Chuckie are about to leave the pen)
Chuckie: WAIT!! (the three babies stop) I don't know if this is such a good idea. That's my daddy's favorite toy.
Tommy: But look how shiny it is!
Chuckie: (looks at it): Ah, now that you mentioned it, it is kinda shiny.
Phil: And look how silvery it is.
(Chuckie goes worried as temptation gets to him)
Lil: And look how round it is.
Chuckie: (goes tempted with the CD reflected in his glasses): Ohhh... (leaves): I guess it's okay if we're really, really careful.
(Chuckie takes the CD from the case and shows it to the babies)
Babies: (amazed, in unison): Wow!
Angelica: Hey, babies! Ready for a game of pin the tail on the diaper?
(Angelica comes in the playpen with a pin in a ball of yarn, Chuckie panics and hides the CD under the teddy bear)
Angelica: (notices this): Hey, Chuckie, what do you got there?
Chuckie: Um... Oh... Oh, nothing. We were just playing one of our silly little baby games.
Angelica: Hmm... Say, isn't Spike out there?
Tommy: Spike? (shakes his head): No, Spike's at home, Angelica.
Angelica: (walks to the window): Sure looks like him, and there's a guy with a net chasing him. Wait, two guys! (nobody is out in the neighborhood) No, my mistake. There're monsters with nets!
Tommy: SPIKE!!!
(the babies runs to the window as Angelica runs to the teddy bear and takes the CD, Angelica grins deviously)
Lil: Hey, Angelica! Spike's not out there.
Angelica: Huh. Must've been some other dog.
(Angelica leaves, Chuckie goes to his teddy bear and sees that the CD is gone)
Chuckie: (gasps) YOU GUYS, IT'S GONE!
Tommy: What's gone?
Chuckie: My dad's favorite toy!
Chas: Hi, kids! Having fun? (turns to the little table): Hey! What happened to my Latvian Folk Dance CD?! That was my favorite disc! (Chuckie goes sad in worry, looks around): It's got to be around here somewhere!
Tommy: Boy, your daddy sure looks sad.
Chuckie: (points at Tommy, furiously): YOU!!! This is all YOUR fault!!
Tommy: Huh?
Chuckie: I told you I didn't want to play with that toy, but you had to make me!! Now it's lost!
Phil: But Chuckie...
Chuckie: I thought you was my friends, and now you lost my dad's favorite toy!
Lil: But we didn't...
Chuckie: That's the last time I ever listen to you, guys!! (turns his back and crosses his arms)
Tommy: (solemnly): C'mon, you guys, let's go. I don't think Chuckie wants to play with us right now.
(the three babies leave)
Chuckie: Oh, no! (sits down): Now what am I gonna do?
Angelica: Say, Chuckie, what's wrong?
Chuckie: Oh, Angelica, it's terrible! I really messed things up this time!
Angelica: Why don't you tell me all about it?
Chuckie: Well, first I played with my dad's favorite toy, even though I wasn't a-posed to, and I lost it.
Angelica: (knowingly): Oh, that's awful.
Chuckie: And then my dad came in and sawed it was gone and he got all upset.
Angelica: Oh, no.
Chuckie: And then I blamed Tommy, Phil and Lil, even though it wasn't really their fault. Now everyone's mad at me!
Angelica: (comforts him): Chuckie, I know just how you feel.
Chuckie: You do?
Angelica: Sure! You see, Chuckie? There are two kinds of people in this world: People who makes things better--people like me--and people who just seem to, well, get in the way--people like you.
Chuckie: (goes sad): Isn't there anything I can do?
Angelica: Not really, Chuckie. The bottom line is, we'd all be a lot better off without you.
(Chuckie goes to tears)
(Scene cuts to Chuckie in his dark bedroom at night, he places a bunch of toys on a big cloth on his bed and ties it all into a hanky)
Chuckie: (sighs): Angelica's right. Everyone would be a lot better off without me.
(Chuckie takes a whirlybird cap and puts it on his head, he goes to Chas's bedroom where Chas is sleeping with a smile on his face, Chuckie looks at him and wells up in tears before leaving)
(scene cuts to the city far away, Chuckie is about to cross the bridge, feet is shown hovering over the ground behind Chuckie)
Guardian Angel: Hey, I don't think that's such a good idea.
Chuckie: (stops): Who said that?!
Guardian Angel: Me! (Chuckie turns and gasps seeing an angel that looks a lot like Chuckie but with tidy hair, waves): Hi!
Chuckie: (panics and hides in a bush): Who're you?!
Guardian Angel: I'm your guardian angel. (flies and point to him): I was sent here to make sure you don't do anything dumb.
Chuckie: Really?
Guardian Angel: Yeah!
Chuckie: Then where was you the time I got my tongue stucked on that ice cube?
Guardian Angel: (nervously): Uh, well...
Chuckie: (points accusingly moving him back): Or the time I got my head caught in the back of that weird-looking chair?
Guardian Angel: Um...
Chuckie: Or the time I trapped myself in the birdcage?!
Guardian Angel: Gimme a break! I'm only two, you know. Look, what I mean is, you can't just run away from home. Peoples need you!
Chuckie: Peoples need me? Right! Let's face it: The whole world would be a lot better off without me.
Guardian Angel: Oh, yeah?
(The guardian angel, snaps his fingers in a cloud of smoke, Chuckie and his guardian angel cough and find themselves in Chuckie's house)
Chuckie: Hey, this looks like my living room--only it's... it's different. Where are we?
(the entire room is littered with stacks of pizza boxes, Chinese cartons and empty water gallons, the whole room is messy and in a shamble)
Guardian Angel: Well, it's kinda complicated. See, this is what the world would be like if you was never born.
(rats and roaches are seen crawling around the empty boxes)
Chuckie: Wow, why is it so messy?
Guardian Angel: Without you around, your dad just doesn't see any reason to clean up.
Chas: (off-screen): So, what you do want to do now, Socky? (high-pitched voice): I don't know, Chas. What do you think we should do?
Chuckie: Who's my dad talking to?
Guardian Angel: Chuckie, you may not like what you're about to see.
(Chuckie sees Chas coming in the room looking all miserable and untidy and slightly overweight holding a sock puppet in his right hand by the name of Socky)
Chas: (as Socky): We could just watch C-SPAN. They're showing the proceedings of the house, ways and means committee today.
Chuckie: My dad is talking to a sock!
Guardian Angel: Who else would he talk to? You don't exist, remember?
Chuckie: I better go play with him. (runs to his dad but goes through him like a ghost and runs into the side wall, notices this): Hey! My hand goes right through him!
Guardian Angel: Of course.
Chuckie: But... how come?
Guardian Angel: (half-annoyed): I already told you, Chuckie. (points): You do not exist! People in this world can't see you, they can't hear you, and they definitely can't play with you.
Chuckie: Oh...
Chas: Hey, I know, Socky! Let's start on that 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle! (as Socky): No, Chas, I'm not very good at jigsaw puzzles. I don't have any hands. (normal voice, lowly): Well, C-SPAN it is, then. Socky? (as Socky): Yeah? (normal voice): I wish you were real. (as Socky): Me, too. (leaves)
Chuckie: I don't like this, Mr. Angel Guy.
Guardian Angel: You ain't seen nothing yet.
(Chuckie and the guardian angel leave the house with dilapidated Finsters Residence, Chuckie gasps seeing the entire neighborhood totally in ruins, houses and buildings are broken down, people are heard screaming, and a hydrant sprays water, the guardian angel arrives in a motorcycle)
Chuckie: What's this?
Guardian Angel: Our wheels. (gives Chuckie a helmet): C'mon!
(they drive along the street, babies are looting the toy store and chasing an ice cream vendor)
Chuckie: Where are we?!
Guardian Angel: This is where you live, Chuckie, only without you.
Chuckie: But... why are all the babies causing so much trouble?
Guardian Angel: I guess there's no one around to tell 'em it's not such a good idea. (they pass the babies getting the ice cream with the vendor tied to a tree with toilet paper, the guardian angel and Chuckie arrive at the DeVille residence, which is also in dilapidated ruins and crackles) Let's see how Phil and Lil are doing without ya.
(scene cuts to Phil and Lil dressed in trashy clothes (they're both wearing their shirts backwards, bandannas, and they're both wearing their baseball caps backwards.) in the ruined kitchen throwing and breaking dishes from the cabinets)
Chuckie: (gasps in shock): STOP!! STOP, YOU, GUYS!!
Guardian Angel: (bonks Chuckie's head): Hello! Anybody home?! They can't hear you, remember?
Chuckie: Oh, yeah.
Lil: Aw, poop! We're out of dishes.
Phil: Don't worry, Lil, I know where they keep the glass junk!
(Phil and Lil runs off and cause more chaos as Chuckie watches helplessly, the guardian angel shakes his head sadly, Betty and Howard are in the ruined living room sobbing uncontrollably and hugging each other)
Betty: My home! My beautiful home!!
Howard: If only there were one baby! One mature, responsible, somewhat cowardly baby who would set a good example and tell them it's wrong!
(Chuckie watches them with pity as Betty and Howard continue crying, Chas comes over)
Chas: Hi, guys. Socky and I were getting kinda lonely. (as Socky): Hope you don't mind us stopping by.
Betty: (unnerved, about Chas): He's getting worse.
(Phil and Lil topple a bookshelf and cackle demonically)
Howard: What should we do, Chas? What should we do? (sobs)
Chas: You should consider yourself lucky! I wish I had a kid, even a terrifyingly destructive one. (as Socky): But he doesn't, he's all alone.
(He, Howard, and Betty burst into tears as Phil and Lil continue trashing the house)
Chuckie: This is bad, angel guy! Real bad!
Guardian Angel: Come on, we've still got one more thing to see!
(scene cuts to the guardian angel driving Chuckie along the road and stopping at a house)
Guardian Angel: Tommy's house. (Chuckie takes off his helmet seeing the ruined Pickles residence with crackles) Pretty sad, isn't it?
(Tommy is shown among piles of trash looking hungry and all dirty)
Chuckie: Why is he out here? Why isn't he inside playing with his toys?
Guardian Angel: Angelica took his toys.
Chuckie: But what about his house?
Guardian Angel: She also took his house.
Chuckie: Well, what about his parents?! (the guardian angel nods solemnly): You mean...?
Guardian Angel: Yep. She took them too.
Chuckie: But how?!
(Tommy climbs in the trash can)
Guardian Angel: One day, she just came by, booted Tommy out and took over.
Chuckie: (angry): Well, why didn't anyone stop her?!
Guardian Angel: She just kept yelling and yelling 'til she got her way. (they head to the house) C'mon, I'll show you.
(Scene cuts to Stu and Didi looking scared and messy as they make a cake, the kitchen is full of bags of sugar and flour and a bin full of vanilla, Didi picks up a big batter from a giant mixer.
Angelica: (yells off-screen): MORE COOKIES!!! AND MAKE IT SNAPPY!!!
Didi (afraid, carries the batter): Hurry, Stu, hurry! We can't keep Angelica waiting!
(Didi brings the batter to a set of four ovens)
Chuckie: Oh, no, it's true! Angelica did take Tommy's parents!
Guardian Angel: It gets worse.
(the guardian angel takes Chuckie into a room that looks like a palace, Angelica is shown silhouetted at her throne with a plaque reading Angelicus A Maximius, Angelica is shown wolfing down cookies, she is morbidly obese wearing a crown on her head, chocolate is all over her clothes as she drinks a cup of syrup, Tommy comes over to her carrying a broken rattle)
Angelica: HEY!! I thought I told you to stay outta my sight!
Tommy: Angelica? Could I have just one little crumb of cookie, even if it's already been in your mouth? Please?
Angelica: Sorry, Tommy, no can do. (takes another cookie): If I started giving you crumbs, pretty soon I'd have to give 'em to everyone. (tosses the cookie): And come to think of it, I'll take that rattle, too!
(She snatches it away and tosses it with the rest of Tommy's former toys)
Chuckie: No, Tommy, no!! (runs to Tommy): Don't let her do it!! Stand up for yourself!! (holds his hand out only for it to go through Tommy) I don't get it! Tommy never lets Angelica push him around.
Guardian Angel: The only reason he's so brave is that he has you around to back him up.
Chuckie: Me?! But I always get a-scared!
(Angelica chugs down a thing of cherry jam)
Guardian Angel: It doesn't matter. Having a friend like you gives Tommy the guts to stand up to bullies like Angelica. Without you, he's just another broken-down baby bumming cookie crumbs.
(Tommy crawls to a half-eaten cookie and eats it)
Chuckie: (furiously): That's the last straw!!
Guardian Angel: What do you mean?
Chuckie: I mean I'm tired of living in a world without me!
Guardian Angel: But, Chuckie...
Chuckie: Look, Angel, it's some guys' job to be tough! It's other guys' job to be strong! But me, I got a job that's just as important!
Guardian Angel: You mean...?
Chuckie: Yeah! (takes off his cap): I don't think running away is such a good idea! (puts it back on): Angel Guy, take me home. (the guardian angel does so, Chuckie coughs from the smoke as he finds himself in his bedroom) Hey, where'd he go? (gasps happily): My bed, it's still here! (holds one of his pillows): Hello, pillow! Hello, nightlight! Hello, you ol' jerk-in-the-box! (accidentally opens it getting startled, goes to the window and sees the beautiful neighborhood): No fires, no broken buildings, no Angelicatown--oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy! (he walks to the living room where Tommy, Phil and Lil are still in the playpen) Hey, what're you guys doing here?
Lil: Our dads brought us over a long time ago, but you were sleeping.
Tommy: Chuckie, we all felt kinda bad about your dad's toy getting lost yesterday.
Phil: So we brung you a surprise!
Tommy: Ready?
(Tommy, Phil and Lil reach in their diapers and pull out many CDs)
Phil: Look! Lots o' shiny toys!
Tommy: (throws more CDs in a pile): Our mommies and daddies weren't using them, so we figured your daddy could have 'em.
Chuckie: (happily): Aw, you guys didn't have to.
Tommy: We wanted to, Chuckie; you're our friend.
Chuckie: Ooh, my dad'll be so happy!
(The doorbell rings and Chas answers the door, it's Drew and Angelica. Drew looks furious)
Drew: I'm afraid we owe you an apology, Chas. (he firmly brings Angelica forward and holds the CD in his left hand) I discovered Angelica throwing this around her room. And since you're the only one I know who listens to Latvian folk dances, I figured it was yours. (hands the CD to Chas)
Chas: (smiles in relief): I wondered what happened to this!
Drew: (tugs Angelica again, sternly): Now, what do you say, Angelica?
Angelica: (guiltily): Sorry, Mr. Finster.
Drew: (as he walks away, still holding Angelica's arm) And she's not going to get dessert for a whole week!
Angelica: WHAT?!
(Angelica gets tugged away as Chas closes the door happily looking at his CD)
Phil: Wow, Chuckie! All that time Angelica had the toy!
Chuckie: And I thought it was all my fault.
Tommy: Nah, Chuckie. It wasn't your fault at all.
(Chuckie looks out the window and sees the guardian angel wearing a pilot's hat giving Chuckie a thumbs up, Chuckie happily does the same as the guardian angel peddle away on his motorcycle into the clouds and into the sun ending the episode)