Beach Blanket Babies | Gallery | Transcript |
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(The scene opens up with a reptilian sea creature holding a trident and waving, the screen moves up to two other sea creatures waving up in a castle)
Chuckie: That's them, Tommy. The sea monies.
(Chuckie and Tommy are looking at tiny specks in the fishbowl where the castle is)
Tommy: I don't know. They look just like a bunch of specks to me.
Chuckie: Well, you'd look like a speck too if you were that small.
(Stu and Chas walk in the room)
Chas: Isn't it wonderful, Stu? You know, sea monkeys were my first pet, too.
Stu: I don't know if freeze-dried brine shrimp really fall into the pets category, Chas.
Chas: What do you mean, Stu? They're the perfect pet. You don't have to walk them, you barely have to feed them, and they don't leave any nasty surprises in your slippers.
Didi: (approaches them carrying beach supplies): Less chatting, more packing, boys. You want to get to the beach before the crowds, don't you?
Stu: (sarcastically): Hey, Deed, we are the crowd.
(Didi sighs then hands her husband the blanket and Chas the flippers and floating tube)
Chuckie: You know, Tommy, the sea monies look at lot happier on the box.
Tommy: They look a lot bigger, too.
Chuckie: I think they're sad. I think maybe they wanna go back to their castle at the bottom of the ocean.
Tommy: Yeah, if I had a castle down below the ocean, that's where I'd wanna be.
Chuckie: I wish we could get 'em back there.
Tommy: Well, maybe we can.
Chuckie: But how, Tommy? We don't even know where the ocean is.
Tommy: Sure we do, Chuckie. I heard my mom and dad talking. And guess what? The ocean is right next to the beach.
Chuckie: Really?! Well, that means when we go to the beach today, we can take the sea monies with us!
Tommy: Yep!
(Chuckie takes the fishbowl and almost stumbles spilling some water until he bumps into Grandpa Lou carrying a cooler)
Grandpa Lou: Hey! Hold on there, partner. (places the cooler down): Where do you think you're going with that thing? (takes the fishbowl away) You gotta leave them fellas here. Don't want them to get sunburned, do ya? 9puts the fishbowl back)
Chuckie: Now what are we gonna do, Tommy? The grown-ups won't let us take the sea monies to the beach. This is so sad.
Tommy: Don't worry, Chuckie. I got a idea!
(Tommy walks over to the cooler and opens it, the cooler is already filled with ice and sodas)
Chuckie: I get it, Tommy, I get it! (sighs, Tommy carries the fishbowl to the cooler) Careful, don't spill 'em.
(Tommy pours the entire fishbowl in the cooler, Chuckie gasps)
Didi: (off-screen, distantly): Honey, we still have to pick up my parents.
(Tommy closes the cooler before Stu pick it up, Tommy and Chuckie smile and nod to each other, scene cuts to the highway, Drew is driving on the way to the beach with Stu, Didi, Chas, Grandpa Lou, Boris, Minka and Angelica, the grownup are singing "Low Bridge")
Grownups: (singing): I got an old mule and her name is Sal.
Grandpa Lou: Fifteen miles on the Erie Canal!
Grownups: She's a good ol' worker and a good ol' pal.
Grandpa Lou: Fifteen miles on the Erie Canal!
Grownups: We've hauled some barges in our day, filled with lumber, coal and hay. And every inch of the way I know, from Albany to Buffalo.
(as they continue singing, Tommy and Chuckie has the cooler between them in the backseat)
Chuckie: (lifts up the cover): You guys okay in there?
Tommy: Don't worry, Chuckie. We're gonna be to the beach any minute.
Angelica: Do you babies know who lives at the beach? (Tommy and Chuckie both shake their heads as to rely no) The Sandman!
Tommy: You mean the man who comes when you go to sleep?
Angelica: NO! the other sandman. He is a someone who's real mean, who hides in the sand and eats babies for lunch."
Tommy and Chuckie: (gulp nervously): Babies?
Angelica: Little babies.. LIKE YOU! (laughs wickedly)
(everyone arrives at the parking lot)
Drew: Great. Not too crowded.
(they park at a spot where a small yellow scooter is, scene cuts to Stu setting up the beach umbrella as she turns it deep in the sand, Didi spreads out a towel on the sand, Tommy and Chuckie sit under an umbrella with suntan lotion striped on their cheeks)
Chuckie: Great. We look silly, we're sticky and we smell like a coconut cream pie.
Angelica: (frolics along the sand): Look at me! Look at me!
Tommy: Well, at least we don't look like that.
Chuckie: (points out the cooler) Tommy look!
(he and Tommy crawl over to it)
Tommy: All's we gotta do is push this thing down to the water. C'mon!
(Tommy and Chuckie get in position and push against the cooler as hard as they can, unfortunately, they're unable to budge the heavy cooler)
Chuckie: Oh, great, now what?
Grandpa Lou: (walks over to Tommy and Chuckie): Excuse me, scouts. Gotta get something to wet my whistle.
(he opens the cooler, takes out a soda can for him to drink, closes the cooler and walks away whilst drinking from the can)
Tommy: We just gotta wait 'til they take more of those cans out, then it'll be easier to push.
(Chuckie sighs eagerly, as time passes, we see the adults take more and more of the cans out of the cooler, eventually we see Didi fix herself a drink in a glass, rather than drinking right from a can, and add ice cubes from the cooler to it. However, a few of Chuckie's sea monkeys also get into Didi’s drink with the ice cubes)
Didi: Ooh, this ice is a little bit dirty. (out loud): Say, everyone, let's try to keep the lid closed!
(she pinches the helpless sea monkeys out of her drink and rubs them off her fingers and onto the hot, dry sand, Chuckie gasps in horror)
Tommy: (consoles him): Don't worry, Chuckie, we'll save the rest of them.
Chuckie: We gotta to hurry, Tommy, before it's too late!
(suddenly, a big shadow scares the babies, it was a table, the babies panic and run off)
Grandpa Lou: Hey, sports, be careful down there. You don't wanna get squashed, do ya? Find the cards yet, Bo?
Boris: (looks through the bags): I'm looking, I'm looking. Minka, where's the bicycle deck?”
Minka: (sarcastically, reads her book) What do I look like here, your servant girl?
(Tommy and Chuckie look at each other for a brief moment in response to what they're seeing, Tommy and Chuckie then run over to the cooler to try pushing it again, they push as hard as they can, and this time, they finally manage to get it moving towards the water until Angelica skips over)
Angelica: Look at me! Look at me!
Tommy: (whispering): Chuckie, pretend we're not doing anything. (Angelica pauses next to them) Angelica, your bathing suit looks very nice.
Angelica: You didn't see what I can do in it. (starts running out into the shallow water and wading in it for a brief moment) I can swim! I can swim! (runs back) Did you see!? I can swim!
Tommy: That was great. Angelica! We gotta be going.
Angelica: (suspiciously): Hey, what are you babies doing anyway?
Tommy and Chuckie: (in unison): Nothing.
Angelica: “Oh yeah. what's in here?
(she peaks inside the cooler, but she only sees water, ice and cans of soda and doesn't notice Chuckie's tiny sea monkeys, Angelica closes the cooler and looks back at Tommy and Chuckie, who both stare back innocently with smiles on their faces, Angelica glares at them suspiciously and Tommy and Chuckie both continue to stare back innocently)
Angelica: You babies are really weird. (she then runs off)
(Tommy and Chuckie sigh with relief that Angelica didn't figure it out and they get back to pushing, scene cuts to Chaz sleeping on the sand, Angelica walks over and decides to play a prank on him by burying him in the sand while he's sleeping and begins to do so, scene then cuts to Tommy and Chuckie as they just manage to reach the edge of the water, but are unable to push it further and get it into the water, Chuckie and Tommy stop to rest)
Chuckie: It won't move, it won't move! What are we gonna do now, Tommy?
Tommy: Calm down, Chuckie. I have an idea. (he and Chuckie crawl away from the cooler): Okay, when I say "three", run at the cooler, okay? (he and Chuckie position themselves) Three!
(but before the two can start, Stu comes over in front of them, not minding the cooler)
Stu: Hey, boys, come on. (picks the two babies up): I'm gonna show you kids how to build a good old-fashioned sandcastle.
Didi: (notices the cooler by the shore): Hey... How'd this get here. (picks it up)
Stu: (makes a sandcastle): In order to build the perfect castle, you need to get the sand to be just the right consistency. (the babies take their eyes off Stu and turn to Lou and Boris still playing cards) Nice and thick and packy, like this.
Drew: (walks over): What you doing there, little bro?
Stu: Ah, nothing. You know, just showing the kids the finer points of sandcastle construction.
Drew: Hmm; yeah, well shouldn't this outer wall be further from the central courtyard?
Stu: Heh, a lot you know. If you do that, they’re won't be any room for the moat.
Drew: Moat? Oh, brother, you are out of touch. What's current in sandcastles is more of a deconstructive treatment.
Stu: (goes angry): Like the deconstructive treatment you gave my castle when I was eight?
Drew: (goes angry as well): Well, you stomped all over mine first!
Stu: Well, you poured sand down my shorts!
Drew: Oh, well, you dropped a crab on my stomach!
(Stu and Drew's conversation then devolves into a brotherly argument, and neither of them notice Tommy and Chuckie crawling away and back toward the cooler, scene cuts to Lou and Boris)
Boris: Hey, wait a sec! Where's the two of hearts?!
Grandpa Lou: Two of hearts? I didn't take no two of hearts?
Boris: When you take the card, you got to play the card, you paskudnyak!
Grandpa Lou: Where'd you hear those rules, Budapest?
(the two grandfathers don't notice Tommy and Chuckie as they begin pushing the cooler toward the water again, as the two boys are pushing, Angelica decides to have some fun with them. She buries her left foot in the sand and pretends she's desperately struggling to free it from the sandman she mentioned earlier)
Angelica: (screaming to the two boys): HELP! HELP! HE'S GOT ME! THE SANDMAN'S GOT ME!
(Tommy and Chuckie gasp in horror, but Angelica then effortlessly pulls her foot out of the sand and runs past the two babies, laughing wickedly)
Chuckie: Do you think the sandman really almost got her?
Tommy: I don't know. She might've made it up like the time she said your blanket was alive.
Chuckie: Don't remind me of that!
Tommy: Sorry. C'mon, we gotta get the sea monies over that hill. (points out a mound of sand in their path, Tommy and Chuckie then resume pushing the cooler and they manage to get it almost to the top of the mound before it gets stuck) Go around and pull.
(Chuckie walks to the other side, he gasps suddenly sees his father's unconscious head sticking out of the side of the mound as it's now apparent that the mound of sand is that Angelica buried Chaz in as part of the prank she pulled on him)
Chuckie: (shouting): AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! MY DAD'S BEEN DECAFFEINATED!!!!! (runs off screaming in sheer horror): AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Tommy: Chuckie, what happened? (but suddenly, Chaz wakes up and rises out of the sand, screams): YAAAAAAHHHHH!!! THE SANDMAN!!! (runs off)
(Chaz doesn't notice the two frightened babies running off as he dusts himself off)
Chaz: (notices the cooler): Hmm... What's this doing here?
(Chas takes a can of soda out and drinks it then picks up the cooler and carries it back to the groups spot, meanwhile, Tommy catches up with Chuckie and they both stop and sit down near a wire mesh trash receptacle to catch their breath and get themselves together)
Chuckie: You think we lost him?
Tommy: Yeah, for now.
Chuckie: Boy, setting the sea monies free sure isn't easy.
Tommy: You know, Chuckie? I was thinking. Maybe the sea monies not worth all this trouble. I mean, they're just little specks.
Chuckie: (incredulously): "Just little specks"?! When a grownup walks past you and doesn't even know you're there, don't you feel like "just little specks"? When you're not tall enough to open a door or turn on a light or get at the cookies, don't you feel like "just little specks"?
Tommy: Uh...
Chuckie: I don't know about you, Tommy, but for all the little specks out there, I'm pushing that thing down in the water!
Tommy: (determination restored): Let's go!
(the two march back to their mission, scene cuts to Lou and Boris, and we find that their disagreement to the rules of the game has turned into a heated argument)
Boris: (angrily): Friendly game, shmendly game! I'm telling you, when you pick up a card, you've gotta play this card!
Grandpa Lou: (angrily): Oh, you're off your nut! I've played this game for over fifteen years, and just because you pick up a card don't mean you gotta put it down!”
(as Lou says this, Tommy and Chuckie get to the cooler, which is once again under the table, and push it out into the open without either grandfather noticing, the argument between Lou and Boris starts to get even more heated as the two stand up and lean in each other's faces with aggressive glares)
Didi: Now, Pop, Dad, it's Just a game and there's no reason to get upset.
(Tommy and Chuckie stop pushing and think for a moment, though no one else takes notice of either of them, Minka and Chas walk into the scene to help)
Boris: Upset! Who's upset!? Just because this old schmedrick called me a nut?”
Grandpa Lou: (aggressively): “schmedrick", Eh? I've got your schmedrick!”
(he and Boris attempt to take each other on physically, though Didi and Chaz hold the two back)
Didi: POP!
Tommy: I got a idea.
Boris: (puts up his fists) So! You want to play dirty, eh?!
Minka: Boris, watch your blood pressure.
Boris: (grabs then entire deck of cards): I've got a card game for you, Mr. Fifteen Years!
Grandpa Lou: Oh, yeah?! What's that?!
Boris: 52 Pickup! (presses his fingers scattering the cards in a heaping mess)
Grandpa Lou: AAHHH!!!! MY CARDS!!!!
(as the grownups clamor, Tommy brings Spike along with him and ties the leash to the cooler)
Chuckie: You sure this'll work, Tommy?
Tommy: It's gotta work! YEE-HAW!!
(Tommy taps his foot on Spike's side, Spike barks and runs dragging the cooler with him with Chuckie following and passing the beach patrons, who don't seem to notice the babies, as they reach the shore, a tremendous wave emerges at them)
Tommy: (screams): YAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
(Spikes runs off leaving the cooler behind as well as Tommy)
Chuckie: Oh, no!
(Chuckie points at the cooler being wash away from the waves, after a moment, the cooler crashes back to shore near the two babies)
Tommy: We did it, Chuckie! We did it! (Chuckie somehow goes solemn) What's the matter? I thought you wanted to free them.
Chuckie: (sadly): I know, but I'm not sure they were ready, after all we've been through together! I'll miss 'em! (sniffles sadly)
Tommy: There's still time to say 'bye.
Chuckie: (waves): Goodbye, Spiffy! Goodbye, Spot! Goodbye, Blinky! Goodbye, Oreo! Goodbye, Lefty! Goodbye, Mike!
Tommy: (consoles him): You did a nice thing, Chuckie.
Chuckie: You think so?
Tommy: Sure! Sea monies belong in the sea. That's where their real castle is, along with all the sea bananas they'll ever want. (the screen then begins to pan away from Tommy and Chuckie as they face the sunset) You did the right thing, Chuckie, and they'll never forget you for it.
(Episode ends)