Angelica Orders Out/Transcript

[The episode begins with a close-up of the shadow of what looks like a monster. Growling and loud footsteps are heard as the shadow gets closer to Tommy and Angelica. The shadow is then revealed to belong to Stu, who is holding his latest invention, the Pickles Voice Frequency Modulator 5000, or the PVFM5K for short.]

Stu (in a high-pitched voice): "Hello, Angelica. It's me, Uncle Stu, the magic elf!"

[Angelica giggles. Stu then presses the button on the PVFM5K.]

Stu (in a low-pitched voice): "Tommy, my son."

Tommy: "Aaaah!"

Stu [in a low-pitched voice]: "Come over to the dark side, and on the way, pick me up half a dozen bagels; two plain, two onion, and two..."

Didi: "Stu, what on Earth?"

[Didi and Charlotte walk in.]

Stu: "Hey, Deed, check out my new invention! It's the Pickles Voice Frequency Modulator 5000. Watch this!"

[Stu holds the PVFM5K up to Tommy's mouth. Tommy coos in a low-pitched voice. Angelica then reaches for the PVFM5K.]

Angelica: "Can I try it, Uncle Stu?"

[Stu hands Angelica the PVFM5K.]

Angelica (in a low-pitched voice Charlotte-like): "So, how does it work? Hey! Listen to me!"

[Lou is seen sitting in a chair.]

Lou: Well, I'll be! She sounds just like Charlotte!"

Angelica (in a low-pitched voice): "All right, now I'm the boss of everybody and you all have to do ezactly what I say!"

Charlotte: "Isn't that precious?"

Stu: "Heh, yeah, precious. Okay, sweetie, give Uncle Stu back his invention!"

[Stu walks up to Angelica and takes the PVFM5K from her.]

Angelica: "Awww!"

[Stu sets the PVFM5K on the counter, next to a framed picture of Didi.]

Stu: "You wouldn't want to break his prototype."

[Didi looks at her watch.]

Didi: "Oh, my goodness!"

[Didi walks up to Stu.]

Didi: "Stu, we'd better get going or we'll miss that Wonderful World of Wickers seminar!"

[Lou falls asleep in his chair, snoring. Stu walks up to him and tugs on his hand.]

Stu: "Pop! Don't go to sleep!"

[Lou wakes up in shock.]

Lou: "Huh? Wha? What?"

Stu: "You said you'd watch the kids, remember?"

Lou: "Oh, of course I remember!"

Didi: "Why don't you call Zippy's Snappy Delivery Deli and just order some lunch for you and the kids? The number's on the speed dial. Just tell them to put it on the Pickles' account."

Lou: "Oh, all right!"

Charlotte: "Angelica, Mommy has to run to a meeting. Give me a kiss!"

[Angelica blows a kiss at Charlotte. Charlotte blows a kiss back at her, then walks away. Didi walks up to Tommy]

Didi: "Bye-bye, sweetums. Be a good boy."

[Tommy giggles as Didi pats his head. As Didi walks away, Stu waves at Tommy.]

Stu: "Bye, tiger! Bye, Pop!"

[Stu walks away. Didi walks past Lou and waves at him.]

Didi: "See you in a while, Pop!"

[Didi follows Stu, then stops, and turns to face Lou.]

Didi: "Oh, and we're trying to take care of their teeth, so, don't order them any junk food, or... or I'll take your teeth away!"

[Tommy stares in shock and gasps when he hears this.]

Lou: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, go on, get out of here! Have fun!"

[Lou waves at Didi, and Didi walks away. Lou gets out of his chair and walks up to Tommy and Angelica.]

Lou: "How bout we head into the kitchen and order up some lunch from Zippy's?"

[Lou picks up Tommy and walks into the kitchen, carrying him. Angelica excitedly follows him.]

Angelica: "Can I dial the phone? Huh? Can I? Can I? Please, Grandpa? Can I dial the phone? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Please? Can I? Can I? Can I Can I?"

[Lou sits Tommy down in his high chair.]

Lou: "All right already, jumping jehosophat!"

Angelica: "Yippie!"

[Lou walks up to the phone, dragging a chair behind his back. He sets the chair under the phone, picks up Angelica, and sets her on top of the chair.]

Lou: "There you go, sprout. Now, these here are the speed dial buttons. You see?"

[Lou points at the phone. The speed dial buttons are listed as follows:

1 - Devilles

2 - Drew + Charlotte

3 - Finsters

4 - Carmichaels

5 - Boris + Minka

6 - Aunt Miriam

7 - Dr. Lipschitz

8 - Information

9 - Zippy's Deli

As Lou talks, he points to the listings of the speed dial buttons.]

Lou: "Number one is Phil and Lil's house, number two is your house, number three is Chuckie's house, and all the way down here at number nine, is Zippy's deli."

[Lou picks the reciever off the phone and presses the Speed Dial button.]

Lou: "Now go on and push the button."

[Angelica presses the 9 button and it dials Zippy's. Larry, who is working at Zippy's, suddenly appears on the left side of the screen.]

Larry: "Hello, Zippy's snappy home delivery. This is Larry speaking. How may I help you?"

Lou: "Uh, hello. This is Lou Pickles. I'd like to order some food for delivery."

[Larry picks up the pencil above his ear and uses it to write on the paper below.]

Larry: "Okeydoke, Mr. Pickles. Shoot."

Lou: "Send me two bologna sandwiches on white, with extra mayo, and, uh... some steamed carrots with a side of cottage cheese. And what about dessert? You got any baked apples?

[Gwatney bologna on Sara Lee white bread, with Bama Mayonnaise packets]

Larry: "Sure do."

Lou: "Terrific! Send over three baked apples with that order. Account's in the name of 'Pickles'."

Larry: "Your food is on the way, and thanks for calling Zippy's snappy home delivery."

[Larry puts the pencil back over his ear and hangs up his phone. Lou then hangs up his phone.]

Angelica: "Baked apples? I hate stinky baked apples!

[Lou walks towards Tommy and picks him up out of his high chair.]

Lou: "Sorry, Angelica, but you heard Aunt Didi;"

[Angelica climbs off the chair as Lou walks up to her, carrying Tommy.]

Lou: "No junk food! You woudn't want your old Grandpa to get his teeth taken away, would you?"

[As Lou walks into the living room, Angelica looks up at the phone and gives a devious grin.]

Angelica: "Hmmm."

[The screen transitions to a view of a paper bag from Zippy's Deli. The camera then moves over to Tommy, Lou, and Angelica. As Angelica stares angrily at her baked apple, refusing to eat it, Lou is sitting in his chair, with Tommy, who is wearing a bib, sitting in his lap. Lou is feeding him his baked apple with a spoon.]

Lou: "There you go, sprout. All gone! Hmmm. I remember the first time I had baked apples with my grandpa. Yes, sir."

[Lou yawns.]

Lou: "Macintosh, they were."

[Lou falls asleep and snores.]

Angelica: "Oh, finally!"

[Angelica jumps off the couch.]

Angelica: "I thought he'd never go to sleep!"

[Tommy pulls off his bib.]

Tommy: "Angelica, what are you doing?"

[Tommy climbs off Lou. Angelica walks into the kitchen and up to the phone, with the chair still under it. Tommy follows behind her.]

Angelica: "Nothing that concerns babies who like to eat stinky baked apples!"

[Angelica climbs up the chair and picks up the phone.]

Angelica: "Now, let's see. Alls I gotta do is push this button!"

[Angelica presses the 9 button, which dials Zippy's.]

Angelica: "And... Hey, it's ringing!"

[Larry, who is still working at Zippy's, appears on the left side of the screen.]

Larry: "Hello, Zippy's Snappy home delivery, this is Larry speaking. How may I help you?"

Angelica: "Hi, I'd like a big bag of double fudge chocolate chip cookies, sent to the Pickles' house right away, please."

[Tommy walks up to Angelica.]

Tommy: "Cookies? If my mommy catches us with cookies, she's gonna take away Grandpa's teeths!"

[Tommy pulls on Angelica's dress. Angelica then swats Tommy away.]

Angelica: "Quiet!"

Larry: "Uh, excuse me, but how old are you, little girl?"

Angelica: "I'm, uh, practically six! Uh, uh, nine!"

Larry: "Sorry, kid. We only take orders from grown-ups."

Angelica: "But... but... hold the phone, please."

[Angelica puts the phone down and climbs off the chair. She runs away, then comes back, holding the PVFM5K. She climbs back up the chair and picks the phone back up, speaking into the PVFM5K.]

Angelica (in a low-pitched voice): "Hello, this is Charlotte Pickles speaking. I'm a growed-up lady. You got a problem sending my sweet little girl her cookies?"

Larry: "Uh, no, Mrs. P., as long as you say it's okay. Um, um...

[Larry reaches and picks up a pencil.]

Larry: "You want anything else?"

Angelica (in a low-pitched voice): "Anything else? Um, what else you got?"

Larry: "Well, for dessert, we got; chocolate cake, eclairs, coconut cream pie, strawberry shortcake, chocolate macadamias, flan, chocolate..."

Angelica (in a low-pitched voice): "That sounds good! Send it all! Bye!"

[Larry drops his pencil and scratches his head. Angelica hangs up the phone.]

Angelica: "You know, that was pretty easy. I wonder who else I could call."

[Angelica turns to look at the buttons.]

Angelica: "Hmmm. I think this button's the one I'm looking for."

[Angelica presses the 2 button and it dials Drew's phone number. Angelica gasps in excitement.]

Angelica: "It's ringing!"

[Drew, who is in his home office, writing on a piece of paper, appears on the left side of the screen.]

Drew: "Hello, Pickles residence, Drew speaking."

Angelica (in a low-pitched voice): "Oh, hello, Da... I mean, Drew. This is Charlotte Pickles speaking."

Drew: "Yeah, thanks for telling me, hon. I never would have guessed."

Angelica (in a low-pitched voice): "Listen, Drew. Angelica is the bestest, most wonderfullest girl in the whole wide world, so, I want you to run right out to Toy City and buy me... I mean, her, that new Cynthia ultra mega play world that she's been wanting for so long, since she's been so good and all."

Drew: "Are we talking about the same Angelica?"

Angelica (in a low-pitched voice): "Just get it! And bring it over to Tommy's house so Angelica can play with it today. I gotta go. Kiss kiss."

[Drew looks at his phone in confusion and Angelica hangs up hers.]

Angelica: "Uncle Stu's really got something here!"

Tommy: "That's it, Angelica! I'm gonna wake up Grandpa so he can call that place up and stop those cookies!"

[Tommy walks towards Lou, but Angelica grabs the back of his diaper and pulls it back.]

Angelica: "Uh-uh-uh!"

[In the next scene, Angelica puts a box of SUDSO laundry detergent atop an overturned laundry basket, then dusts off her hands and walks away. The camera moves down to the basket, revealing an angry Tommy in it. The screen transitions to a view of some telephone poles, and images of Angelica talking into the PVFM5K and the telephone are shown. After the montage ends, the screen transitions back to Tommy trapped in the laundry basket. The camera then moves over to Angelica, who lifts up the mail slot of the front door and looks through it. A truck that says, ZIPPY'S DELIVERY SERVICE stops near the front door. Angelica giggles, then runs towards the counter. She picks up the frame with the picture of Didi and runs away with it. Larry walks up to the front door, and is about to ring the doorbell, when he hears Angelica.]

Angelica (in a low-pitched voice): "Just leave the bags by the door!"

Larry: "Huh? Who said that?"

Angelica (in a low-pitched voice): "Down here!"

[The picture of Didi is held up to the mail slot.]

Angelica (in a low-pitched voice): "Just leave the bags and go away!"

Larry: "Oh, uh... okay. Sure."

[Larry sets the bags down by the door.]

Larry: "Thanks for calling Zippy's snappy home delivery."

Angelica (in a low-pitched voice): "Go away!"

[The mail slot closes. Larry stares, then walks away. In the living room, Lou is still sleeping, and as Larry drives his truck, the sound of the motor wakes him up.]

Lou: "Huh? Yep! They were the best apples anywhere! Huh? Where'd those kids go?"

[Angelica grunts as she pulls a bag filled with eclairs past the overturned laundry basket Tommy is trapped in.]

Angelica: "This is gonna be the bestest dessert I ever..."

[Angelica picks up an eclair, but before she can finish her sentence or eat her eclair, she hears Lou.]

Lou: "Golly, what in tarnation?"

Angelica: "Uh-oh."

[Lou picks up the box of laundry detergent and the basket, setting Tommy free. He sets them down, and is shocked to see Angelica with a bag filled with eclairs.]

Lou: "Zippys? Angelica, how did you..."

[Angelica looks down at the PVFM5K, then hides it behind her back and grins nervously.]

Lou: "Stu's invention?"

[Lou takes the PVFM5K from Angelica.]

Lou: "Oh, my gosh! We gotta get rid of this stuff before..."

[Before Lou can finish, the phone rings. Lou gasps, then walks up to the reciever, which Angelica left near the front door. He presses a button on it, then holds it up to his ear.

Lou: "Look, whoever it is, we're a little..."

[Didi, who is calling from a phone booth on the street, appears on the left side of the screen.]

Didi: "Pop? It's Didi."

Lou: "Oh! Oh, hi, hi!"

Didi: "We just wanted to let you know that the Wickers' seminar was cancelled. Apparently, there was a very serious splinter incident."

[Didi turns to see an ambulance drive by her, blaring its siren.]

Didi: "So we're coming home!"

Lou: "Oh! I, well... great!"

Didi: "See you in a few minutes!"

[Didi hangs up her phone. The doorbell rings, and Lou walks up to the front door.]

Lou: "Oh, now what? It's Drew! With some kind of big box!"

[Angelica gasps, then walks up to Lou.]

Angelica: "My Cynthia Ultra Mega Play World!"

[Lou turns to face Angelica.]

Lou: "You called him, too? Who else did you call?"

Angelica: "Mmm... nobody."

Lou: "Good!"

[Lou tosses the phone and the PVFM5K aside.]

Lou: "Okay, I'll handle your daddy. You, you grab Tommy and, uh, hide somewhere! And don't make a peep until I say so!"

[Angelica runs up to Tommy. She grabs him, and grunts as she drags him along. Meanwhile, Lou walks up to the paper bags, and picks up some of the desserts from them.]

Lou: "All right, let me put this, no, no, better, no, I should take this one..."

[The doorbell rings again.]

Lou: "Hold your horses!"

[On the other side of the front door, Drew is holding the boxed Cynthia Ultra Mega Play World. Lou, who is holding a bag of desserts, opens the door.]

Lou: "He-he-hello, Drew. What brings you over?"

Drew: "Hi, Pop. Charlotte called and said that Angelica's been so good lately, that I had to run out and get this very expensive..."

[Before Drew can finish, a hole rips in the bottom of the bag of desserts, and some of the desserts fall out.]

Drew: "Holy mackerel, what happened?"

[Lou looks down at the fallen desserts.]

Lou: "Uh-oh!"

[An eclair falls out of the hole in the bag.]

Drew: "Angelica hasn't been eating sweets, has she?"

Lou: "Why, uh, no! I, I just ordered myself some dessert while the kids were napping."

[Lou picks up the eclair and takes a bite out of it.]

Lou: "Hey, you want some? It's raspberry!"

[Just then, the sound of a car approaching can be heard.]

Lou: "Uh-oh!"

[Chas drives his car up to the front door. Chuckie can be seen in the passenger seat, and Chas honks his horn at Lou as he and Chuckie look at him. Betty and Howard then walk towards the front door. Betty is carrying a present, and Howard is carrying Phil and Lil.]

Lou: "Stay right there!"

[Lou runs in and shuts the door.]

Lou: "Chas? Betty and Howard? What are they doing here?"

Angelica: "Mmm... Oh, yeah. I called them, too."

Lou: "Anybody else?!"

Angelica: "Uh-uh."

[Lou opens the door and walks out.]

Lou: "Tell you what, boy; why don't I just grab this, and you, you can head home! Here!"

[Lou takes the Cynthia Ultra Mega Play World and hands Drew the bag of desserts.]

Lou: "But Pop, I don't like cream-filled..."

Chas: "Hi, Drew!"

[Chas, who is holding a present in one hand, and Chuckie's hand in the other, walks up to Drew. Betty and Howard follow behind him.]

Chas (whispering to Drew): "I hope we're not too late for Angelica's surprise party!"

Drew: "What are you talking about? Angelica's birthday isn't for six months!"

[Just then, Stu and Didi drive their car onto the driveway. Charlotte drives her car behind them. Lou then looks at his wrist, which has no watch on it.]

Lou: "Well, look at the time! Nice seeing you all!"

[Lou waves at Drew, Chas, Betty, and Howard. He then closes the door, and Drew, Chas, Betty, and Howard look at each other in confusion. Lou drops the Cynthia Ultra Mega Play World and runs up to Tommy and Angelica.]

Lou: "Come, come here, sprout!"

[Lou picks up Tommy.]

Lou: "Angelica, you get rid of all this stuff while I keep em' busy!"

Angelica: "Okay, Grandpa!"

[Outside, all the adults are talking to each other.]

Drew: "What is everybody talking about a surprise party for? Are we talking about Angelica here? I mean, I know when my daughter was born. It was..."

[Lou opens the door, and walks out. All the adults look at Lou.]

Lou: "Look at this, everybody! I uh... I, uh, taught Tommy how to... dance!"

[Lou sings scat as he moves Tommy around, making it look like Tommy is dancing.]

Drew: "Dad, I thought you said they were napping!"

Charlotte: "Drew?"

[Drew gasps, then turns to face Charlotte, who walks up to him.]

Charlotte: "What are you doing here?"

Drew: "Well, I guess I'm here for this big surprise party that you didn't even tell me about!"

Stu: "Pop, what's going on here?

Drew: "Yeah, what, what is going on? Can somebody tell me what's going on?"

Didi: "Yeah, well, what's going on here?"

Chas: "Yeah, what's going on?"

Charlotte: "I need an explanation!"

Lou: "Well, I, uh... I, uh..."

[Lou backs up, pushing the front door back. He turns around, and stares in shock when he and the other adults see Angelica noisily eating sweets. She looks up at the adults.]

Angelica (in a muffled voice): "Hi, everybody."

Didi: "Pop! What happened here?"

Stu: "Don't tell me you fell asleep again!"

[Lou turns to face the adults.]

Lou: "Uh, uh, no, no no! As a matter of fact, I, I was watching em' real close!"

[Tommy looks down, then stares happily at the PVFM5K. He walks up to it and picks it up.]

Lou: "And I, uh... well... uh, don't look at me! Ask her!"

[Lou points at Angelica, who walks up to Tommy.]

Angelica: "What difference does it make who did what? The important thing is, we're all together, and we love each other!"

[Angelica grabs Tommy and pulls him back. Tommy holds the PVFM5K up to Angelica.]

Angelica (in a low-pitched voice): "After all, family is really what matters, right?"

[All the adults stare at Angelica.]

Angelica (in a low-pitched voice): "Why are you all looking at me?"

[The screen transitions to a view inside a safe. Inside the safe is a clown doll and a car with two claws sticking out of it. Stu puts the PVFM5K inside the safe and shuts the door. Tommy is sitting on the counter next to it, and Stu picks him up.]

Stu: "Well, sport, I guess that's one invention that mankind just isn't ready for."

[Stu walks up the stairs, carrying Tommy. Meanwhile, in the kitchen, a pyramid of flan is shown.]

Angelica: "But mommy, I don't like this stuff!"

[The camera moves over to Angelica, who is sitting in a chair, holding a spoonful of Flan. Charlotte is watching over her.]

Charlotte: "Angelica, you ordered it, you'll eat it!"

Angelica: "How was I supposed to know flan would be so yucky?"

[The camera zooms out, revealing Lou, whose teeth have been taken away as his punishment for falling asleep and neglecting to watch Tommy and Angelica as a result.]

Lou: "Well, at least you can eat it without your teeth!"

[Lou eats a spoonful of flan, then sighs contentedly. The camera zooms in on him, then the screen fades to black, ending the episode.]