Angelica's Worst Nightmare | Gallery | Transcript |
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(Scene opens with stuff toy lion with a pull string)
Toy Lion: (voice box): You are such a beautiful girl... (voices lowers, Angelica is show lounging in her bedroom surrounded by toys and food and chips, everything is a mess, Angelica pulls the string again, voice box): You are the best kid in the whole world.
Angelica: (proudly): Ain't it the truth. (she takes her cup and sips it until she realizes it's empty) DADDY, MORE JUICE! (waits for a moment) DADDY!
Drew: (comes in with a pitcher, smiles): Here I am, sweetheart. (Pours more juice in Angelica's cup)
Angelica: Thank you, Daddy.
Drew: You're welcome.
Angelica: Daddy, will you take me out for ice cream later?
Drew: Of course, pumpkin.
Angelica: And will you buy me a pony?
Drew: Um, we'll see.
Angelica: Who's your favorite?
Drew: You are, precious.
Angelica: Who's your little princess?
Drew: (baby talk): Why, you are, my little possum lips.
Angelica: Who's your bestest only child?
Drew: You are, Angelica.
Angelica: That's right, Daddy. (drinks her juice)
Charlotte: (off-screen): DREW!!!!
Drew: I'll see you later, sweetheart. (leaves)
Angelica: Don't forget about the pony!! (eats her cookie then belches)
(next scene shows Drew enter their bedroom where Charlotte is)
Charlotte: (happily holds a test tube with blue liquid in it): It's blue!
Drew: Blue?! That means...
Charlotte: We're going to have another baby!
Drew: Oh, that's wonderful, darling! Just think, a new baby! (they hug each other)
Charlotte: I should make an appointment with the doctor to have an official test! (Charlotte's phone rings, answers it): Jonathan? It turned blue! Yes, I'm excited for me, too!
Drew: A new baby! Oh, Angelica will be so excited when she hears the news!
(scene cuts to Charlotte and Drew in the dining room having tea, Drew blows a kiss to Charlotte, who is now wearing regular clothing)
Drew: Angelica?
Angelica: (off-screen): What!
Drew: Could you come in here for a minute, please, honey?
Angelica: (does so): What'd I do?
Drew: Nothing, darling. But your mommy and I have something to tell you.
Angelica: Well, okay, but can you hurry up? Gilligan's on in five minutes.
Drew: Go ahead, Charlotte, you tell her.
Charlotte: Alright, darling. Well, you see, sweetheart, mommy and daddy are, um, well, the thing is...
Drew: Angelica, mommy's going to have another baby!
Angelica: (pauses, then bursts out laughing until she tears up): No, really, what did you want to tell me?
Drew: That's what we wanted to tell you. Mommy's going to have a baby.
Angelica: (laughs again in disbelief): Come on!
Charlotte: It's true, Angelica! I'm having a baby!
Angelica: No, you're not!
Charlotte: Yes, I am.
Angelica: (begins to believe this): No, you're not!
Charlotte: Yes, I am. I'm going to have a baby and you're going to have a little brother or sister.
(Angelica goes stunned)
Drew: Won't that be nice?
(Angelica goes stunned then unsure, scene goes to Charlotte in the kitchen on the phone)
Charlotte: Now, listen to me, Jonathan, this baby's going to mean changes--big changes. (Angelica enters in the kitchen and walks to her mother) I'm going to need to turn that office next to mine into a nursery. (Jonathan's voice is inaudibly heard) Huh? Well, you can use the copy room.
Angelica: (tugs on her): Mommy, I want to go to the toy store.
Charlotte: Later, honey. Mommy has a lot of work to do planning for the new baby. (back on the phone): Anyway, Jonathan, I want to push up that conference in Singapore, so I won't be traveling in my ninth month.
(Angelica feels left out as she walks into the office where Drew is at his desk typing on a calculator)
Angelica: Daddy? I want to go to the toy store.
Drew: Huh? Uh, not today, dear. Daddy has to do some budgeting for the new baby. Huh, looks like we may have to make a few sacrifices around here.
Angelica: Sacrifices?!
Drew: Oh, you know, the new baby will need clothes and food and toys and... you and Mommy and I have to give up a few things to make room.
(Angelica goes upset at this, next scene cuts to Tommy's house, Angelica is visiting Tommy, she sits in the playpen where Phil, Lil and Tommy is, Tommy crawls up to Angelica)
Tommy: What's wrong, Angelica?
Angelica: (sighs solemnly): Nothing.
Tommy: Are you sure nothing's wrong?
Angelica: Yeah, I'm sure. Go on, little Tommy--go play with your little friends.
Phil: Hey, Tommy! Me and Lil are going to go out and look for worms. You want to come?
Tommy: (worried about Angelica): Nah, you go ahead.
Phil: 'Kay! We'll save you a big juicy one. (he and Lil leave)
(Angelica sighs)
Tommy: C'mon, Angelica, what's the matter?
Angelica: Well, see, I have this friend...
Tommy: Uh-huh?
Angelica: And this friend is the only little kid in her family.
Tommy: Uh-huh?
Angelica: And now my friend's mommy's going to have a new baby.
Tommy: That's great, Angelica!
Angelica: I don't know if it's so great, Tommy.
Tommy: Why not?
Angelica: I was thinking about when you were born. All the grownups were fussing over you, always talking to you and changing your diapers and feeding you and buying you toys and stuff.
Tommy: What's wrong with that?
Angelica: Well, I was thinking that when the new baby comes, I might--I mean, my friend might not get the same 'tention she usually gets. Everybody'll be fussing over the new baby too much.
Tommy: Hmm, I see what you mean. Well, at least it's happening to your friend and not to you.
Angelica: (not satisfied): Yeah, right.
Didi: (walks to her): Hello, Angelica! Oh, I just heard the good news! You're going to have a new baby brother or sister! Oh, you must be so excited!
Angelica: (fakes smile and laughing): Yeah. (frowns to herself): I'm real excited.
Didi: You're going to get to be a big girl now and help out around the house. Your mommy and daddy are going to be so busy with the new baby. (Angelica smiles at Didi but frown as Didi is not looking) Feeding the baby and changing the baby and playing with the baby, they won't have time for anything else! (the telephone rings) Oh, excuse me, Angelica. (leaves)
Tommy: That's funny, Angelica. Your friend's getting a new baby and you're getting a new baby, too!
Angelica: Tommy?
Tommy: Yeah?
Angelica: (goes disappointed): You're a dope.
(scene cuts to Angelica's house, Charlotte is watching a press conference where men are arguing, Angelica goes to her)
Angelica: Hi, Mommy!
Charlotte: Hi, sweetheart.
Angelica: What are you watching?
Charlotte: Wall Street Review.
Angelica: Oh.
Charlotte: Is there something you wanted?
Angelica: (hops on Charlotte's lap): Oh, no. Just to be with you. I've been thinking maybe we shouldn't have a baby right now.
Charlotte: But Angelica...
Angelica: It's just that it's a lot of work and everything and I'd consider it a personal favor if you didn't have a baby right now.
Charlotte: Honey, there's really nothing I can do about it.
Angelica: (desperately): PLEASE, MOMMY, PRETTY, PRETTY, PLEASE?!
Charlotte: (half-annoyed): Angelica, I told you, there's nothing I can do! When the baby comes, it comes, and that's all there is to it! (the phone rings, answers it): Hello? Jonathan, where have you been? I want you call the hospital. Yeah, find out if we can get a fax set up in the delivery room. (Angelica walks up sadly) No, it should be plain paper. I can't be unrolling memos when I'm trying to get my breathing right, can, I?
(scene cuts to Angelica in her room with a phone from the other room as she turns on her little TV, a man is hosting his show)
Dr. Daniel Prescott: We're back and we're taking more calls. I'm Dr. Daniel Prescott. If you've got a family problem, difficulty communicating, something you can't seem to talk about with friends, call me now at 555-5555.
(Angelica immediately picks up the phone and dials the number)
Angelica: Hello? This is Angelica. I have to talk to doctor. Well, tell him to hurry!!
Dr. Daniel Prescott: We have a call. Benji, you're on the air.
Benji: (off-screen): Hello, doctor, you got to help me! My brother thinks he a goat--
Dr. Daniel Prescott: (ignores and cuts the call): Angelica, you're on the air.
Angelica: Hello, doctor, I got a problem.
Dr. Daniel Prescott: How old are you, sweetheart?
Angelica: Uh, nineteen.
Dr. Daniel Prescott: (smiles suspiciously): Come on now, Angelica, tell me the truth.
Angelica: Uh, twelve?
Dr. Daniel Prescott: (shakes his head, smiles still): Now, now, Angelica, you don't sound twelve.
Angelica: Okay, fine, I'm seven.
Dr. Daniel Prescott: Seven. My, my, you're a big girl, using the phone all by yourself.
Angelica: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, doctor, you got to help me.
Dr. Daniel Prescott: (wipes his glasses): What's your problem?
Angelica: It's about my mommy.
Dr. Daniel Prescott: Yes?
Angelica: Well, she's doing something kind of silly.
Dr. Daniel Prescott: Do you want to tell the doctor what is?
Angelica: She's going to have a baby!
Dr. Daniel Prescott: Ah...
Angelica: See, I'm worried that when the new baby comes, they're not going to have enough time for me.
Dr. Daniel Prescott: I see.
Angelica: What should I do?
Dr. Daniel Prescott: Well, Angelica, I think I can help you. Are you listening, dear?
Angelica: Yes, doctor, I'm listening.
Dr. Daniel Prescott: Alright, now, what you need to do is stand back and take a good look in the mirror. (Angelica nods) You need to understand that there are other people in the world; things don't revolve around you. You need to learn to share and let others take the spotlight once in a while. What do you say? Angelica? (Angelica tosses the TV in a wastebasket, distantly): Angelica?
Angelica: (storms off): What a quack!
(scene cuts to the Pickles having dinner at the dining room)
Drew: I just can't stop thinking about the baby.
Charlotte: I know, darling, I know.
Angelica: (thinks of something, takes her plate): Look, Daddy, I ate my peas!
Drew: Yeah, that's fine, sweetheart. I just thought of something. Where's the baby going to sleep?
Charlotte: Well, there's the study, there's the guest room, and then there's Angelica's room.
(Angelica widens her eyes hearing this, scene cuts to Angelica in her bedroom pacing in her pajamas)
Angelica: (mocks sarcastically): "Oh, I just can't stop thinking about the new baby"! "I know, darling, I know"! (angrily tosses her Cynthia doll at the wall) Boy, what a gyp--all they talk about's the new baby! What am I, chopped slivers? (hops in bed and lies down): New baby, big deal! What's so great about a new baby? (yawns): All they do is spit up their oatmeal, and burp, drool... (goes sleepy): Babies, who needs 'em?
(Angelica begins to dream, she wakes up in her dark room by the sounds of a baby crying)
Angelica: Huh? What's going on?
(she gets out of bed and follows the noise into a nursery where Charlotte and Drew are looking at the new baby in a crib)
Charlotte: Oh, look at him, honey, isn't he adorable?
Drew: Ah, he sure is. Coochie-coochie-coochie-coo!
Charlotte: Yes, you are.
Drew: Coochie-coochie...
Angelica: Mommy?
Charlotte: Who are you?
Angelica: It's me, Angelica.
Drew: Who?
Angelica: Angelica, your daughter.
(the parents ponder)
Drew: Oh, yeah, our old kid. I remember now.
Charlotte: Listen, I'm glad you're here. You can watch your brother while we go call the newspapers and tell them we've got the greatest baby in the world.
(Charlotte and Drew leave, Angelica wanders over to see the new baby for herself)
Angelica: So, you're the new baby, huh?
(the baby's babbling then changes into a man's voice)
Big Boy: That's right, I'm the new baby. I'm the new baby and you're the old baby, see? (approaches her): And you better get something straight right off the bat! (takes her by the scruff of the neck): There ain't room in this house for the both of us!
(Angelica starts screaming and runs off to Charlotte)
Angelica: (pants): Mommy, mommy!!
Charlotte: What's wrong?
Angelica: The new baby, it talked to me, it said mean things to me!
Charlotte: Oh, that's ridiculous! You know babies can't talk.
(Drew comes out of Angelica's room)
Drew: Charlotte, you're right. It'll be perfect for the new baby.
Charlotte: Oh, by the way, we're moving the new baby into your room and giving him all your toys.
Angelica: Huh?! But where will I sleep.
Charlotte: From now on, this will be your room.
(She opens the laundry room door and pushes Angelica in)
Angelica: But this is the laundry room!
Charlotte: Oh, and we were too busy with the new baby to make you dinner, but here's a piece of cheese. (she gives Angelica a plate of cheese) And when the dryer stops, you can fold the towels. (closes the door on her)
Angelica: But, but mommy! I can't believe this, they've forgot about me, they don't love me anymore! (Angelica sits alone in the laundry room with her plate of cheese on her lap until she hears footsteps approaching, the door opens and in comes Big Boy, now as the parents, licking a lollipop) Huh?
Big Boy: Hey, what are you doing here, sister? I thought I told you to scram! (spots her cheese and speaks babyish): Oooooooooh, num-num. (eats the cheese, and burps) I warned you to get out, but you wouldn't listen. Now I'm going to have to teach you a lesson!
Angelica: GET BACK!!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!
Big Boy: You had your chance.
Angelica: AAAAAAHHHH!!!
(Angelica runs through the kitchen and down the hallway whilst Big Boy chases after her, she hides herself in the closet)
Big Boy: (singsong): Where's my big sister? Come out come out wherever you are! (Angelica sighs, only for him to slam his hand through the closet door to try and grab Angelica) AHA!!!
Angelica: AAAHHH!!! (Angelica runs through the hallway being pursued by Big Baby, she runs down the stairs and enters her riding car, reaching into her pocket, desperately trying to get her car keys) Gotta get out! Gotta get out! (she tries turning the key) Come on! Come on! (Big Boy descends the stairs but eventually the car starts, she revvs and crashes through the garage door as she drives through the nightmarish neighborhood) Phew! I made it! I made it! I...
(She screams to a halt as the road is blocked by Big Boy, now taller than the buildings)
Angelica: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Big Boy: Where do you think you're going sister? (he picks up the car with Angelica in it) Hmm... (his mouth drools): I wonder what a toy car would taste like?
Angelica: No, please! I'm you big sister!!
Big Boy: Well now you're num-nums!
(he shoves the car and Angelica into his mouth)
Angelica: No! NOOOO!!!
(the scene reverts to Angelica talking in her sleep, as Drew then comes in when overhearing her scream)
Angelica: No! No! No! AHHHHHH!!!
Drew: (turns the light on): Angelica! Angelica! Wake up! Wake up!
Angelica: (wakes up): DON'T EAT ME!!!! Where is he?! Where's the new baby?!
Drew: You were having a bad dream, honey. Everything's okay now.
Angelica: A bad dream?
Drew: That's right.
Angelica: (desperately clutches Drew): Oh, Daddy, it was horrible! The new baby came, and he was big and scary, and he didn't have any teeth! Oh, daddy, I don't want to have a new baby! I don't want to be ignored and have to live in the laundry room!! (begins crying in Drew's arms)
Drew: Is that what's been bothering you? Oh, Angelica, that's silly. Don't you know how much your mother and I care about you? (picks her up): You're our first baby, and no matter what happens, we'll always love you and take care of you. (Angelica smiles) No one can ever take your place.
Angelica: Really, Daddy?
Drew: Of course, sweetheart. (puts her down and tucks her in): Now go back to sleep, and no more bad dreams. (kisses her)
(Drew shuts the door, with the light turned off, Angelica opens her eyes thinking about her nightmare and proceeds to sleeping, scene cuts to the living room, Angelica walks to her parents)
Drew: Angelica, your mother and I have something we need to talk to you about.
Angelica: What did I do?
Charlotte: Nothing, sweetheart. (Angelica sits with her parents) It's just that I went to the doctor this morning and it turns out I'm not going to have a baby after all.
Angelica: (looks sad): You mean, I'm not going to have a little brother or sister?
Charlotte: (solemnly): Well, not right now.
Angelica: Gee, that's too bad, Mommy. I was just starting to think it would be nice to have a little baby around.
Charlotte: I'm sorry, Angelica.
(Angelica leaves as her parents watch, Angelica goes to her room and closes the door and smiles)
Angelica: (triumphantly): Yes!
(end of episode)