Baseball/Transcript

''[The episode starts off with a small boat getting tossed around it eventually sinks and pops back up. We see Tommy taking a bath, while Grandpa Lou is shaving and listening to his radio.]''

Radio Announcer: This is K.O.L.D radio. Music for the old and the old and heart. And now for you sports fans out there, it's time for trivia. With our special guest, with baseball legend Bucky Majors.

[Baseball music plays.]

Lou: Say, now! Bucky Majors!

Bucky Majors: (over radio) It's a pleasure to be with you guys here today.

Radio Announcer: I want to remind you that the 13th caller with the correct answer to Bucky's question, will win three tickets to this afternoons game against Boston. That number again is 555-KOLD.

Bucky Majors: (over radio) Okay here's the question. What player in the history of baseball, hit the most homers on the second Tuesday, in every month of April, for all time in eternity?

Lou: Second Tuesday in April... I know that one! Come on, scout!

''[Lou grabs a towel and picks up Tommy out of the tub and walks off screen. Spike starts to drink the bath water. Lou walks into a room and starts dialing the radio station.]''

Lou: Most homers... Second Tuesday... April

Woman: (over phone) Hello?

Lou: Hello?

Woman: (over phone) Hello?

Lou: Hello. Is it Bucky Majors?

''[The woman speaks but it's muffled. Grandpa jumps up in down in excitement.]''

Lou: Yippee! We won, Tommy, we won!

Stu: What's all the commotion about, Pop?

Lou: Grab your gloves boys! The Pickles are going to the ballgame!

[The next scene cuts to the stadium were a sign is shown reading "Go Grizzlies" cuts to the inside of the stadium.]

Announcer: Two outs, and the bases are empty, and there's no score here in the bottom of the first inning.

[Cuts to a baseball player.]

Announcer: Husky winds up. And the pitch...

[The player swings but misses the ball.]

Announcer: Stree-rike two!

[Cuts to Grandpa, Tommy and Stu.]

Lou: Haha, those Boston Boomers couldn't bat their way out of a wet paper bag.

Stu: Great seats, Pop, what a view.

Lou: Mm-hmm.

Announcer: Haskell seats off his signal.

[Cuts down to Tommy who is trying to see, but a guys arms in the way.]

Tommy: Bleh.

[He goes to take a bite of his hotdog.]

Announcer: Here's the windup. And the pitch... Ooh! Knuckleball! Strike three! And the Boomers go down, in the top half of the inning.

''[As Tommy opens his mouth to take a bite he squeezes the bun causing the hotdog to slide off. He lets go of his balloon to grab the sausage, then grabs the balloon again.]''

​​​​​​Tommy: Bear.

Announcer: Leading off for the Grizzlies, is number six, Bucky Majors.

''[Lou looks through a pair of binoculars to get a better view. We get a close shot up of Bucky swinging some bats.]''

Announcer 2: Bucky's a guy who needs no interdiction, Chuck, as a three time hall of famer, and the cornerstone of the Grizzlies.

Lou: Come on up here, Scout, and have a look at greatness.

''[He sticks the binoculars in Tommy's eyes. We get another close shot of Bucky swinging bats back and forth. Then a shot of the Grizzlies mascot is shown.]''

Chuck: He leads the league in RBIs.

Tommy: Bear.

Lou: Ah. Someday, we'll be watching you down there, Tommy.

''[Camera cuts down to a batboy struggling to pull out a huge bat. He eventually gets it and struggles to carry it to Bucky.]''

Bucky Majors: What do you think?

Batboy: He likes to pitch Low and Outside, Mr. Majors.

[Bucky swings and the batboy ducks.]

Bucky Majors: Yeah?

Batboy: Uh-huh, and if you wait for an outside curve, you'll hit it right out of the park.

Bucky Majors: Inside curve, huh? Okay.

Batboy: Mr. Majors?

Bucky Majors: Yeah?

Batboy: You're my hero.

Bucky Majors: Thanks, kid.

Batboy: Lucky number three, Mr. Majors?

[Bucky grabs the big bat and hands several one's to the batboy.]

Chuck: Majors steps into the batter's box. Here's the windup, and the pitch...

[The pitcher throws the ball which flies right into the catchers glove.]

​​​​​Chuck: Low and outside, ball one.

Color Commentator: Majors is in no hurry. Seems to be waiting for the right one.

Chuck: Here's the windup, and the pitch...

[The ball flies towards Bucky's bat, and Bucky hits causing the ball to fall apart and unravel in the sky.]

Color Commentator: Oh, mama!

Chuck: It's a high fly ball!

[The fans cheer.]

Lou: So long, screwy! See you in St. Louis!

[Lou grabs the binoculars from Tommy, his balloon gets loose and floats away.]

Chuck: It's going... going... gone...

Stu: Yes!

Tommy: Bear!

Chuck: Making the score 1-0, Grizzlies! And the home crowd is on their feet!

[This makes Tommy meander away and follow after it, crawling through the seats and the announcer's box.]

Tommy: Bear.

''[The balloon flies further away from the box. Tommy sees a bear mascot.]''

Bear Mascot: Boomers, boomers, take a hike. You're the team that we don't like!

[Tommy climbs down the steps.]

Tommy: Bear.

[With Stu and Lou.]

Stu: Great game, huh, Tommy?

[Tommy ends up in the field.]

Tommy: Bear. Yeah. Oh... ooh! Aah! Oops.

[With the bear mascot.]

Bear Mascot: It's like an oven in this suit.

[With Tommy.]

Tommy: Ooh... mmm... mmm!

[He crawls through the dug-out and makes a grab for the bear head.]

Bear Mascot: Welp... back to the grind.

[The bear mascot walks off.]

Tommy: Bear!

[But the mascot walks away and Tommy falls into a popcorn bag (while the seller doesn't notice).]

Tommy: Whoa!

[Dominic, the popcorn seller, picks up the popcorn box, oblivious to Tommy still inside.]

-Thanks for stopping by, Dominic!

Dominic: That's-a no problem.

[With Tommy.]

Tommy: Ah... ah! Ah...

[As he walks up the steps to sell it to the other fans.]

Dominic: Popa-corn! Get your hot a-buttered popa-corn right here!

-I'll take one!

[In the popcorn box.]

Tommy: A-ooh

[On the other side.]

Dominic: Popa-corn! Get your hot a-buttered popa-corn here!

Man: Hey, toss one over here!

[With the sports commentator and Chuck.]

Sports Commentator: You know, Chuck, that reminds me of the time I pitched against that guy-- uh, what's his name? You remember him.

Chuck: I think so, yes.

Sports Commentator: Anyway, the bases were loaded, it was a full count. Suddenly, my back went out!

Chuck: Oh, yeah, I remember that story.

[Later, the game becomes tedious, and not much is happening.]

Chuck: And we've got a pitchers' duel on our hands. Not much action here, headed into the top half of the ninth.

[Tommy is sleeping in the popcorn box.]

Tommy: Mmm...

[Dominic makes it to the announcer's box.]

Chuck: And Bucky Majors' home run remains the difference in our score. We'll be back with the ninth inning after this word from our sponsors. So, Dominic, what have you got for me today?

Dominic: What do you give me for two Darryl Strawberrys and one Vida Blue?

[Tommy takes a peek through the popcorn box and views his balloon floating in view.]

Chuck: Oh, I still got the willie mays in perfect condition.

Dominic: Well, maybe for one Vida Blue.

Chuck: Look, I go back on the air in 25 seconds.

Dominic: Okay, okay. One Strawberry and one Vida Blue.

Chuck: And the Boomers have loaded the bases! It doesn't look good for Bucky Majors and the Grizzlies!

[Tommy chases the balloon outside and ends up causing dissonance around the stadium as he walks on the keys under an organ.]

-Oh!

[Stu and Lou wake up.]

Stu: Uh... uh... great game, huh, Pop?

Lou: Huh? Oh, sure. Great.

Stu: Oh… what inning is it?

Lou: Got me.

Stu: Who's winning?

Lou: What do I look like, a scoreboard?

[Meanwhile, Didi arrives home.]

Spike: Mmm...

[Didi opens the door.]

Didi: Stu! Grandpa!

[Didi closes the door.]

Didi: Hmm... where is everyone?

[Spike gives Didi a note.]

Didi: Oh. "Went to the baseball game, home for dinner. Love, Stu, Tommy, and Grandpa. P.S. the game's on channel 2. Look for us". Hmm.

[Didi turns on the TV.]

Chuck: (on TV) And that's it for Haskell. They'll bring in the left-hander, McGill.

Color Commentator: (on TV) Now, McGill has had a weird season so far, Chuck. He's either pitched nohitters or walked them all. He never could tell what kind of days gotta have.

Chuck: (on TV) I guess that's why they call him "Crazy Arms McGill".

[Didi and Spike look at each other.]

Color Commentator: (on TV) I thought it was "Crazy Legs".

Chuck: (on TV) Well, I… I guess you're right, Hank. He does sort have crazy legs.

[At the game.]

Chuck: Although the visiting Boomers have the bases loaded the Grizzlies only need one more out to win this ball game.

[Meanwhile, Tommy continues to chase after the balloon from the top of the stand and finally grabs it.]

Tommy: Gahh. Ahh. Aah... ooh! Whoo...

Chuck: And here's the pitch. It's a high hard one it's headed for the fence!

Tommy: Whoa! Oh!

''[Tommy then sees the flying baseball and lets go of the balloon. As he grabs the baseball, he falls.]''

Tommy: Whoa!

[Bucky Majors leaps and catches him in his glove, winning the game for the Grizzlies in the process.]

Chuck: Oh, what a catch! What a play! What a game!

Lou: Yes!

Stu: Yay!

Lou: If I didn't know better I'd say that was Tommy. Jumpin' jehoshaphat! That is Tommy!

Stu: What?!

[With Didi.]

Bucky: (on TV) I don't know, Chuck. The kid just fell into my glove.

Didi: Oh...

''[Didi faints. Spike licks the TV. At the game. Stu and Lou are on the field with Bucky and Tommy.]''

Lou: You know, I've played a little ball myself in my day.

Bucky: Oh, you did, huh?

Lou: Oh, you bet Minor leagues, of coarse. I had a shot at the majors back in 1942 but with the war... Oh well… you know how it is.

Bucky: Huh?

Lou: In my day, we played real...

[Lou, Stu, and Tommy end up on the front cover of the newspaper with Bucky.]

End of Episode