Lucky 13/Transcript

(The episode starts off with 5 students driving in Angelica's daydream.)

Angelica: We're breaking up, Sean.

(Phone beeps off)

Susie: Wow. Did you just break up with Sean?

Angelica: Teenager means never having to explain.

(All Grown Up! With You Plays)

(Angelica walks down the school's hallways where everyone cheers for her)

Tommy: (in Angelica's daydream) Me and the Dil Man are finally on the radar because our cousin is finally a teenager!

Harold: (in Angelica's daydream) Angelica, what's it like being a teenager?

Angelica: (in her own daydream) It's just like being in a movie! Starring me -- Angelica! (poses next to a poster that says "Today's Special - Angelica" on it)

(Savannah interrupts Angelica's daydream)

Savannah: Angelica? Angelica? Angelica? I'm really sorry but this table is reserved for the 13 and older crowd. Plus you're kind of sitting in my chair.

Angelica: It's not like your name is on it, Savannah. (stands up and looks at chair) Wow and in gold too. Oh well in a few days I'll be 13 and have my own cool table. And who knows it might be the new hot spot. Right girls?

(The girls gives Angelica a confusing look)

Angelica: Oh, and some of you have an RSVP to my birthday party. Wouldn't want to miss out on the cellphones in the gift bags.

(Brianna and Paris get excited)

Angelica: No fees, unlimited minutes.

(Angelica then walks away and Savannah gives Brianna and Paris a mean look to kill their excitement about the cellphones)

(Next scene shows Harold, Angelica and Susie walking down the school hallway...)

Susie: Ooh girlfriend! Taking on a 13-er before you're one is like opening an umbrella indoors while walking under a ladder as you break a mirror which drops while you open that umbrella!

Angelica: The minute I'm 13, Savannah and I will be equals. Especially after my party. Or as I prefer to call it; "The New Gold Standard".

Susie: What's the latest tally on the RSVPs for this new "Gold Standard"?

Angelica: Well so far there is Amanda, Emily, Kendra and you two guys.

Susie: Sounds more like "The New Tin Standard". (giggles)

(Scene transition -- at Angelica's house)

Charlotte: (to Angelica) Any idea how the invitations addressed to Tommy, Dil and the rest of that group ended up stuffed behind the refrigerator?

Angelica: (in an accusing tone) Fluffy! No cat toys for a week!

Charlotte: (hands Angelica the invites) Invite them.

Angelica: Tommy and his merry band of dweebs? Did I mention their idea of fun is sniffing each other's socks?

Charlotte: You never know where a dwee-- a someone may end up. Today a sock sniffer, tomorrow president of the New York Stock Exchange!

(Charlotte hands Angelica the invites again and Angelica takes them while angry)

Charlotte: Here's some good news, I landed Zedra -- "TV Teen Psychic". She's amazing! She said she knew I would be calling. Your friends can have palm readings between porpoise rides and pedicures!

Angelica: Sounds incredible! The more reason why I don't want my party ruined. It's bad enough there will be pre-teens there but pre-pre-teens?! Please don't make me invite them!

Charlotte: Sorry. (leaves the room)

Angelica: I guess I could at least stick them in little outfits and make them serve punch. (takes a sip from her canned soda)

(Next scene is on the school's outside grounds)

Angelica: (while handing the invites to Phil, Lil, Dil, and the rest of the gang) Here, here, here and here. Sorry they're late.

Kimi: And stepped on...

Dil: Nothing says "I want you at my party" then a big footprint!

Angelica: Of course if you already have other plans, I'll understand. For instance... (takes out long list of activities from her backpack)

Lil: (while reading the list) The circus, the Ice Com-page, open house at the Wax Lip Museum --

Angelica: Ooh and lookie here! Bossy and Flossy, the two headed cow, is uh -- are appearing at the county fair!

Phil: That's a doing!

Angelica: Just remember to leave my birthday gifts in the loft box of my porch! Well this is my favorite part -- I'm going to be a teenager and you guys aren't. I hate to say it but it's been great knowing you but why lie now? When you see me in passing remember to look the other way. I'm onto bigger and better and older things. (walks away)

Phil: (to the others) So basically the same 'ol same 'ol?

Tommy: Pretty much.

Dil: Well nothing's going to keep me away. There's porpoise rides! They talk you know. No way I'm missing what could be the most meaningful conversation of my life!

(Tommy, Kimi and Phil and Lil turn to each other in confusion) 

(Next is at a clothing store where Harold holding a girl's shirt to his chest while looking in a mirror)

Harold: (to Susie) Well?

Susie: I'd stay away from horizontal stripes.

Harold: Not me! It's Angelica's birthday gift. It's her big one three.

(Susie and Savannah bump into each other)

Savannah: Sorry, Susie. Didn't see you. I am a little obsessed finding the perfect dress for my party!

Susie: Your party?

Savannah: (takes out invites and hands them to Susie and Harold) Really hope you can make it. Ooh, that dress wants me just as much as I want it. (chases after it)

Susie: (reading the Savannah's invite) "Your invited to my soon-to-be Annual Annual Spring Bash this Saturday!" Uh, oh... The date!

Harold: Oh yes, the dreaded date. How about we just go together?

Susie: The date -- of Savannah's party.

Harold: (looking at the invite) This can't be right. Savannah's party is on the same day as Angelica's -- uh, no...

(Next scene is in front of Angelica's house -- Susie and Harold approaching. Harold is carrying a tube of ice cream)

Susie: Just remember, as soon as you break the news to Angelica, duck!

Harold: How come I have to do it? You're a better bad news breaker then I am.

Susie: 'Cause you're the one with the ice cream, Harold. You'd be able to deflect whatever she throws.

(Susie rings the doorbell)

Harold: The important thing is we're letting her down easy before she finds out the hard way.

(Angelica answers the door)

Angelica: Can you believe it? These people all said "no". (gestures to the papers in hand) I don't get it.

(Susie and Harold look at each other)

(Now inside the house)

Susie: Angelica, Harold has something to tell you.

(Harold hands Angelica Savannah's party invite and Angelica takes a look)

Angelica: (angry) WHAT?!

Susie: Now don't go all crazy, Angelica! You still got a bunch of "yeses". (nervously laughs)

(As Angelica is cramping the invite the phone rings)

Angelica: (answering the phone) Hello? Oh hi Amanda! What? But you already said -- Oh. Yeah. Whatever. (ends call) (takes one of the "yeses" and puts in the "no" box)

Angelica: Amanda said she couldn't risk turning Savannah down.

Harold: Well, at least you still have us and uh some other good friends!

(Susie nods and the phone rings again)

Harold: It could be someone selling you a vacation time share!

Susie: I don't think so.

(Angelica stares at the phone)

(Next scene is at the Java Lava...)

Phil: (arms crossed over his chest) No! No! NO!

Tommy: We get it. We're here for the girls' votes anyway.

(Lil and Kimi look at each other then back at Tommy)

Lil and Kimi: No!

Tommy: (sarcastically) Thanks for giving it some thought.

Tommy: Okay Chuckie, you're my last hope.

Chuckie: Seeing as I for-see this part as considerable potential damage to my self-esteem I feel like I have no choice but to vote "no"! (crosses his arms)

(Tommy groans)

Chuckie: I mean it's Angelica. For all we know she could stick us in little outfits and make us serve punch.

Tommy: Well the difference between you guys and me is, I have to go. Let's face it, I'm trapped in the cold genetic truth. She's my cousin.

(Next scene is back at Angelica's house where Angelica is on her bed, eating the ice cream while sobbing)

Harold: (to Susie) I warned you this called for a double-tuber.

Susie: Look Angelica, it's not that bad.

(Angelica's cries worsen and tugs on Fluffy's tail, scaring her away)

(Angelica continues to cry while blowing her runny nose)

Susie: I know there's a way out of this.

Harold: Like maybe they'll discover toxic mold in Savannah's basement and she'll have to cancel her party?

Susie: Or...Angelica could ask Savannah to change the date of her party?

Angelica: What? Are you crazy? I'm the injured person here. It's my 13th birthday. You're actually suggesting I go crawling to Savannah and beg her to change the date of her party?!

(Next scene is now at the school grounds)

Angelica: (very politely - to Savannah) So can you change the date of your party?

Savannah: Hm, we do have a problem don't we? I mean we wouldn't want to force anyone to choose.

Angelica: It's like we think the same! By the way, I love how your eye shadow matches your belt buckle.

Savannah: Oh thanks. (giggles) Anyway, because I know how much your party means to you, I'll certainly see what I can do.

Angelica: You're the best, Savannah.

(Savannah nods and walks away)

Angelica: (takes out notebook) "Get Savannah to change the date of her party" Check! Get party eye shadow to match belt buckle and shoes...

(At the outside vending machine with Dil, Phil and Lil -- Phil puts in coins in the machine while Dil makes dolphin noises)

Dil: That was "Pass the sardines"! Right?

(Phil shakes his head)

Phil: More like "Want blubber with that"?

Dil: Darn.

(Back with Angelica who is sitting on a bench, writing in her notebook -- Tommy approaches her)

Tommy: Angelica?

Angelica: Busy here! Agh, can I help you?

Tommy: Look, we're cousins and even though we had our ups and downs and downs and downs... and uh I don't want you to be alone at your party so here it is: I'll be there. (awkward silence - pause) Did I mention what a sacrifice this is for me?

Angelica: Dear little cousin, I'll hardly be alone as Savannah is changing the date of her party. But because it was so sweet and pointless for you to offer to come, I'll be sure to mail you a piece of cake. (walks off)

Miss O'Keats: (over the intercom) Just remember have a good day!

Tommy: (to Phil and Lil) Take me off for being a good cousin list! Party's back on which means I'm off the hook!

(Dil once again tries to speak porpoise) 

Phil: (to Tommy) Uh, you might want to ex-nay the hook talk around "Kid Porpoise".

(In the school's cafeteria)

Angelica: (to Susie) And then I thought why only get one music act when I can get two? Techno and Pop!

Susie: Glad your party's back on. I knew my idea would work. Except I would think Savannah would of take at least a day to make up her mind.

Harold: I can call the tux store and reinstate my order!

Tommy: Well "Miss Teen Queen" sure looks stoked.

Lil: It is nice she'll have a big crowd for her big par-tay!

Phil: It is nice as long as we ain't going.

(Back with Angelica, Susie and Harold)

Susie: (to Angelica) So what day did Savannah move her party to?

Angelica: She didn't say. Did I tell you there's going to be an ice sculpture of me carved from the actual iceberg that sunk the Titanic?

Susie: Well what exactly did she say?

Angelica: That she would see what she can do.

Harold: Uh Angelica, sorry for bursting your bubble but that doesn't sound like she promised to change the date of her party.

Angelica: We have this total teen communication. You pre-teens wouldn't understand.

(Savannah and her posse approach)

Angelica: Savannah, would you please tell these two you'd changed the date of your party?

Savannah: Oh my gosh, didn't I tell you? I really tried to move things around but no luck. Sorry.

(Just as Savannah and her posse prepares to walk away)

Angelica: But you -- you said ---

Savannah: That I would see what I could do and I did. Bye-bye.

(Angelica tears up and drops her lunch tray and runs out of the cafeteria)

Savannah: (to Brianna and Paris) I don't understand why she actually thought I would change the date. Doesn't she know I planned it on that day on purpose?

(Brianna and Paris look at her with shock)

Savannah: I know it sounds mean but Angelica did break a major rule by assuming she'll be popular before proven.

(Brianna and Paris nod in agreement)

Savannah: It's a hard lesson but it's for her own good. In the long run, she'll thank me.

(Back with Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, Lil and Kimi -- who over heard Savannah's whole conversation)

Tommy: I can't believe it. Someone actually out-meaned Angelica.

(At Savannah's locker)

Tommy: (who is dressed in Senor Jumping Bean merchandise) Uh Savannah?

Savannah: (gasps) Oh my gosh! You're a Senor Jumping Bean fan too?! Isn't he the cutest thing when he does the Mexican hat dance around his own tiny Sembero?!

Tommy: Uh huh. (pulls the string on his hat which has Senor Jumping Bean dance) Uh, you don't know me but --

Savannah: Of course I do. You're Tommy uh --

Tommy: Yeah yeah. The point is, I do too believe Senor Jumping Bean is the world's cutest chihuahua!

(Savannah then shows all her Senor Jumping Bean stuff she has in her locker)

Tommy: Wow. Even Senor Jumping Bean towelettes?

Savannah: If it says "Senor Jumping Bean", I have it.

Tommy: Um, man I guess you already have a VIP invitation to the "Senor Jumping Bean After Hours Book Signing" at the Lapdog Luxury Pet Story for Saturday?

Savannah: (takes the invite) No I don't. And I'm a VIP. How come I didn't get one?

Tommy: (takes back the invite) Did I say VIP? I meant VVIP. Anyway the thing is, I can't go. My father is having an ankle ammyy. They're just dissolving. The good news is he's getting new titanium ones so anyway if you don't have anything else to do tonight, would you like my ticket?

Savannah: (snatches the invite) Would I! I did had a party planned but everyone will just have to find something else to do. I can't believe you're giving this to a total stranger.

Tommy: The truth, I'm not a teenager but someday I will be and I hope someone of your popularity and internal coolness will remember me.

Savannah: Not only you're a fellow Senor Jumping Beaniac but you're a first class kiss-up. (pulls the string on Tommy's hat and walks away) Thanks!

(Phil approaches Tommy)

Phil: So it worked?

Tommy: Thanks to my brains and your home printing press! (grabs Phil's ink covered hand)

Phil: I'm going to get them all pretty up for when I milk Bossy and Flossy! (does milking gestures)

(Next scene is at Angelica's birthday party -- dolphins jump with joy in the swimming pool in Angelica's backyard)

Angelica: (to Harold and Susie) Uh, I can't believe you guys are making me go through with this.

Harold: Some kids might show up.

Susie: Yeah! Harold's right. I mean you'll never know. (nervously chuckles)

Angelica: NO! NO! I'll tell what I know! (as she starts explaining, several kids enter her backyard) 

Unnamed boy: Hey Angelica!

Unnamed girl: Happy birthday!

Angelica: Oh yeah, thanks. (turns back to Susie and Harold) No one is going to show up at this party! And you wanna know why?!

(Even more kids enter Angelica's backyard and greet her)

Angelica: Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you why! IT'S BECAUSE I -- (pauses to notice her guests) 

Susie: You were saying?

Angelica: IT'S BECAUSE -- (happy) they all came to their senses!

Angelica: (to Harold and Susie) You see, pre-teens showing up at my party is my peers' way of acknowledging my equal popularity statues with Savannah, whose party obviously can't compete with mine.

Susie: Um Angelica, Kimi told me that Tommy and his friends saved your party by getting Savannah to postpone hers.

Angelica: (in disbelief) What? Those pre-pre teens did that for me? (snatches a phone from a gift bag to call Tommy)

Angelica: (on the phone) Tommy! Get over here NOW! (pauses for a brief moment) Bossy's the real cow, Flossy's just a fake cow head! (pauses again) Well then get over here as soon as Phil stops crying. (ends call)

(Everyone is having a good time at the party -- there's dancing, Zedra's palm readings, etc)

(With Dil and the dolphins)

Dil: (speaking dolphin) 

(Dolphins respond by blowing water through their blow holes)

Dil: (gasps) I knew you guys had relation to our alien brotherin'!

(Dolphins responds)

Dil: Cool! I mean eeeeee!

Charlotte: (to Drew, admiring the ice sculpture of Angelica) Just think Drew! Before we know it, we'll be planning her Sweet 16! (gasps) Do you think they can squeeze one more face on Mt. Rushmore?

(Tommy, Chuckie and Phil enter the party) 

Chuckie: (to Tommy and Phil) I still think she's going to put us in funny little outfits and make us serve punch.

(Harold -- while wearing a funny outfit -- walks up to them and offers them some punch)

Harold: Punch?

Chuckie: He's her friend.

(Angelica approaches)

Angelica: Guess you know why I called you.

Chuckie: Where do we suit up?

Angelica: I heard what you did and I wanted you here 'cause it's my way of saying -- saying -- of saying -- (Harold slaps her on the back) THANKS!

Phil: (upset) Sorry but that doesn't make up for destroying my carefully constructed Bossy and Flossy illusion! I mean -- Hey, is that a mime?

(Phil and Chuckie walk off towards the mime chuckling) 

Angelica: (to Tommy) So, how did you get Savannah to call off her party?

Savannah: (uninterruptedly) Senor Jumping Bean, huh?!

(Tommy gulps)

Savannah: There was no book signing at the pet store! It was just Free Flea Dip Day! (to Angelica) I found out he's your cousin and you put him up to this in order to steal all my friends away from my party! Admit it!

Angelica: (impressed) Fake book signing? Hm, it's sneaky, under-handed, backstabbing, something I'd normally do but amazingly didn't.

Savannah: Well I want my friends back!

(Savannah walks around...)

Savannah: (to everyone) Party's back on at my place! (giggles)

Unnamed boy: No can do, Savannah.

Leslie: I already made an appointment for my hand to be tattooed!

(Savannah approaches some other kids playing miniature golf)

Savannah: My party's is going to be so much more fun than this!

Unnamed boy: Hey guys! Check it out! The contrarian is squeezing into a vacuum cleaner bag! (kids run off to see, leaving Savannah in disbelief) 

(Angelica approaches Savannah)

Angelica: (to Savannah) Well since your party's a bust, you probably don't have anything better to do.

(Savannah gives Angelica a nasty look)

Angelica: So if you want to stay, I won't kick you out.

(Savannah examines the party for a quick moment)

Savannah: Uh thanks. My staying would give this party an edge.

Charlotte: Attention everyone! The pre-course of a fabulous eight course meal is about to be served. So take your seats!

(Savannah approaches a table)

Savannah: (to Angelica) So is that where the cool kids are sitting?

Angelica: Uh, huh. (Savannah is about to sit down) Sorry Savannah, those seats are taken.

Savannah: By who?

Angelica: By some cool kids. (points at Tommy, Chuckie, Kimi, Phil and Lil)

Chuckie: Is she pointing at us or do I have something hanging out of my nose?

Tommy: Both.

Lil: We scanned on Angelica's "cool radar"?

Angelica: Get up there!

(Tommy, Chuckie, Kimi and Phil and Lil walk towards the table as Savannah finds a seat by Brianna)

Tommy: It's just that our long history together compelled us act.

Angelica: But our history is me yelling at you guys.

Phil: And that hits us (gestures to his heart) right here!

(Episode ends with the camera zooming out showing Dil riding on the back of a dolphin)

THE END.