Murmur on the Ornery Express/Transcript

(The episode begins on a closeup of rolling toy train wheels from an engine, and then we see that it's Chuckie pulling around a toy train on a string that actually chugs and whistles, as the rest of the babies watch...)

Chuckie: (giggles) Choo-choo, train! Hey, Mr. Train! Choo-choo! (laughs) Choo-choo, everybody!

Tommy: You're good with trains, Chuckie!

Chuckie: Choo-choo! A funny train, too. Choo-choo!

(In the kitchen, Minka and Boris are showing Stu and Didi a guide booklet about a scenic train ride. Stu is reading the paper, and looks over nervously at Chuckie playing with his toy train.)

Minka: An old-fashioned train, taking us to Little Biendeltown. It's like a dream come true. (hands the booklet to Didi)

Didi: Biendeltown? "A recreation of the Old Country with all its' whimsical charms."

Boris: Whimsical, schmimsical. It's got dust and a yak. For this I need a two-day train ride?!

Minka: What do you know? (to Didi) It's our second honeymoon! Why don't you all come with us?

Boris: Oy...

Didi: On your honeymoon?

Minka: What? I'm gonna talk to HIM for eighteen hours? (points to Boris eating his meal)

Didi: I've never been on a scenic train trip before. Think of the sights we'll see on the way! Doesn't that sound fun, Stu?

(Stu looks up from his newspaper and grins nervously. Back in the playpen, Chuckie continues playing with his toy train...)

Chuckie: Choo-choo! Choo-choo, everybody!

Didi: Oh, kids! Guess what? We're going to ride on a real train! We even get to sleep on it overnight. Isn't that exciting? (walks back into the kitchen)

Tommy: Wow, a real live train!

Lil: With the wheelies and the chugga-chugga and everything!

Kimi: Yeah!

Chuckie: I'm not going.

Tommy: What do you mean, Chuckie? I thought you love trains.

Chuckie: REAL trains don't have a string to pull with. They just go all by themselves! Nothing can stop them!

Tommy: It's OK, Chuckie. A real train's just like your toy train. It just needs to be bigger-er so the grownups can play with them!

Chuckie: (picks up his toy engine) I don't know, Tommy. It's kinda scary.

Tommy: Well, we'll all be there and, um... I know! You can bring your old pal Wawa!

Chuckie: Yeah! So I won't be a-scared all by myself.

(It cuts to Drew's house. In the kitchen, Charlotte is trying to type on her laptop computer as Angelica plays with her Cynthia doll...)

Drew: Charlotte, this is a family trip. Two relaxing days on a train. I want you to promise: NO business. (closes the screen on Charlotte's laptop)

Charlotte: (opens her laptop) Well, I don't see why a person ca-

Drew: (clears throat) Charlotte!

Charlotte: (annoyed) All right, fine!

Angelica: (to her Cynthia doll) You hear that, Cynthia? We're going on a train trip! Time to break out all those extra EXTRA special accessories. (leaves the kitchen with Cynthia)

(Some time later, it cuts to the city train station. A singing bird flies past. But then...)

Drew: (offscreen) CHARLOTTE!

(Cut to on the train station platform. Everyone is waiting for the train to arrive. Drew is carrying luggage, and catches Charlotte with her cell phone.)

Charlotte: (into phone) Hold on. (to Drew) I'm just giving Jonathan some last-minute instructions.

(Drew takes the phone from Charlotte, but as he walks away with the luggage, Charlotte pulls out another cell phone from under her suit. Minka is dressed in her best clothes with a jewel necklace on, talking to Grandpa Lou and Lulu...)

Minka: Our first honeymoon: such a hotel! Cloth napkins.

Lou: Ooh-la-la!

Minka: And this one will be even more exciting. Right, Boris?

Boris: (picking his finger in his right ear) Very exciting.

(Chas, Stu and Howard are standing together showing off what they are bringing on the train, as Stu is holding a squirming Dil.)

Howard: And here's where I keep the backup nail clipper, sunblock, a bag of jerky, and a green pen.

Chas: I packed a camera. Did you know Little Biendeltown is also the home to the world's largest rubber band?

(Pan down to Chuckie, Kimi, Tommy, Phil and Lil on the platform together.)

Chuckie: Maybe the train won't be too big...

(Right on cue, a ghostly-sounding whistle is heard from a mighty train engine, and Chuckie gasps and turns to see the Biendeltown Express train approaching, pulled by an old-looking streamlined steam engine. Chuckie imagines the train becoming a monster engine, that breathes steam from its mouth, and Chuckie screams.)

Tommy: It'll be OK, Chuckie! I promise. Nothing bad'll happen to ya!

(The train grinds to a stop as the babies watch in awe. We see the lower half of a man carrying a red suitcase with gold stripes and a label. A conductor in a red uniform begins ringing a handbell.)

Conductor: All aboard!

(Everyone starts to board the train. Didi and Kira walk up to the babies.)

Didi: Come on, kids. We're going on the train! (they walk on board)

(Angelica walks up to the train with her Cynthia and a small dollhouse with a carrying handle.)

Angelica: (with a flourish) Well, Cynthia, say goodbye to your home! Maybe we'll come back someday; maybe not. Angelica Pickles follows the feet of a different plumber! (boards the train)

(Inside one of the Pullman compartments, Didi and Kira are looking at a map while Didi holds Dil...)

Didi: And after the train passes each landmark, we can mark it with a little check.

Kira: You really have this worked out!

(Stu and Drew sit down in the compartment with Didi, Dil and Kira. Outside the train, the door to the baggage car closes, and then a tall dark stranger wearing a trenchcoat and fedora hat approaches the train while in silhouette and stops a Pullman car door from closing, and gets on. With a blast of the whistle from the engine, the train starts to pull out of the station. The rest of the babies and Angelica are watching from their Pullman compartment...)

Chuckie: (looking out the window) Hey! The whole choo-choo train station's rolling away!

Angelica: You are so "unserphistercated!" It's us that's movin'.

Chuckie: (uncertainly) We are?

Angelica: (teasingly) Uh-huh, and there's no way out!

(Chuckie moans nervously.)

Tommy: Don't worry, Chuckie. See how nice and slow it's going?

Chuckie: (watches out the window and nods nervously) Uh-huh.

Angelica: But it's gonna start goin' faster and faster!

Phil: I don't think Chuckie's in a big hurry.

(Sure enough, the train begins to pick up speed, and Chuckie notices this, screams and pulls out his teddy bear Wawa.)

Angelica: Ha! You brought your dumb ol' bear?

Chuckie: Well, Wawa... he wanted to come. (hugs Wawa)

Angelica: Yeah, right.

Lil: You "broughted" a toy, too, Angelica. You "broughted" Cynthia.

Angelica: Cynthia is not a toy. She's a traveling companion. And now that you mention it, it's time for her beauty nap. (slips Cynthia into her sleeping bag and rests her on the small table next to the window)

Chuckie: Well, maybe my traveling friend could use a beauty nap, too. (rests Wawa next to Cynthia)

Angelica: I'll say.

Chuckie: Don't worry, Wawa. I'm here if you need me.

(Suddenly, the train engine's whistle blows, sounding ghostly again, and Chuckie panics and grabs the window curtain, shivering in fear.)

Kimi: It's just a choo-choo, Chuckie.

Chuckie: This ain't no choo-choo! It's a big scary train! I don't like it and I never will!

(The scene changes to the dining car, where Chuckie is enjoying a bowl of strawberry ice cream, as do the other babies. The other adults are having lunch, and Lou is sitting with Lulu and about to bite into a cheeseburger while Lulu drinks tea. But then the door to the dining car opens, and Lulu looks up to see the man seen earlier with the striped suitcase, wearing a dashing suit...)

Lulu: Dwayne Tickerbacker?!

Dwayne: Lulu, is that you?

Lulu: In the flesh! Fancy bumping into you, after all these years!

Dwayne: You don't look a day older. (kisses Lulu's hand, and Lou clears his throat, not looking amused)

Lulu: Oh, Dwayne, this is my husband Lou. Lou, this is Dwayne. Oh, we used to see a bit of each other, ages ago.

Lou: (looking very annoyed) Is that so? Something of an old flame? Well, as the lady says, I'm her husband, with a capital H!

Dwayne: Nice to meet you, Lou. (extends his hand)

Lou: (refusing to shake Dwayne's hand) She's mine now, Mr. Fancy-Pants, and don't you forget it!

(Meanwhile, Tommy is enjoying eating his strawberry ice cream, and then looks up to see the tall dark stranger from earlier in silhouette through the dining car door's window.)

Tommy: Hey, Chuckie!

(Tommy looks over and sees Chuckie happily eating his ice cream. The tall dark stranger walks away from the door. Not wanting to upset Chuckie, Tommy just smiles nervously. Meanwhile, Chas is reading a newspaper, and an article shows a photo of a silhouetted train robber also dressed in a trenchcoat and hat.)

Chas: Look at this! Apparently, there's some notorious train robber on the loose. Funny, huh?

(All the adults look toward Chas.)

Stu: Don't worry, Chas. No criminal mastermind is gonna be hitching a ride on the Biendeltown Express! (sips his tea)

(Over at the service bar, Angelica is drinking chocolate milk...)

Angelica: Mmm-mmm-mmm!

(Then Angelica notices a nearby presence, and looks around to see a dashing and distinguished young boy, Brett, standing there. Angelica swallows her chocolate milk. He climbs onto one of the bar stools, right next to Angelica.)

Brett: (to the bar steward) I'll have a chocolate malty please, and one chip-a-doodle. (to Angelica) Have you tried their chip-a-doodles? They're exquisite.

Angelica: (stares at Brett dreamily, but then snaps out of it) Um... (sweetly) No, I haven't.

Brett: (to bar steward) Make that two chip-a-doodles. One for me, and one for the little lady.

(Angelica sighs dreamily. At the next table over, Drew is sitting with Boris and Minka...)

Drew: Hmm, you know Charlotte's been in the ladies' room quite a while now.

(Cuts to outside the restroom, where a line of people is waiting impatiently to get in. Inside, Charlotte is talking to Jonathan on her cell phone while writing down notes on the toilet paper.)

Charlotte: Then find a way to fax it, Jonathan. It has to go out today.

(Back in the dining car...)

Didi: If we all take turns watching the children, the rest of us can enjoy the sights.

Dwayne: I thought you could probably all use a nice cold drink. (walks in with a plate of drinks, and comes right up to Lulu) Lulu?

Lulu: Ooh, why thank you, Dwayne. (takes a cup)

Lou: (reluctantly takes a cup, still annoyed) Sweet drinks from Mr. Sweet-Talker.

Lulu: Louis, don't you start up. (takes a sip)

(Across from them, Didi and Kira are looking out the window with their guide booklet while holding Dil...)

Kira: The first sight should be coming up any second: Vegetable Rock! (hands the booklet to Didi)

Didi: "Thrill to the spectacle of a natural stone formation in the shape of an asparagus." (looks out the window with Kira) This is what it's all about.

(Kira nods. But then Dil spits up.)

Dil: Blah!

Didi: Oh, dear.

(The train passes Vegetable Rock, but Didi and Kira miss it.)

Kira: I'll get some more napkins. (gets some)

Didi: It's just baby stuff. It's not a real problem...

Kira: There we go. (wipes Dil's mouth)

(The train chugs along the track route, rounding a curve, and with the engine blowing its whistle. Back in the kids' Pullman compartment, Stu and Howard stand there.)

Howard: Oh gosh, uh, this is fun, but... robber business make me nervous.

(Stu and Howard walk out of the compartment as Didi settles the babies except Dil in their compartment. Angelica walks in as well and shuts the door.)

Tommy: See, Chuckie? Wasn't that ice cream room fun?

Chuckie: Yeah. I guess this big train isn't so scary after all.

(Suddenly, everything goes dark as the train enters a tunnel. The babies all scream and start running around their compartment, panicking, with brief streams of light from the interior tunnel lights occasionally illuminating the compartment.)

Angelica: Cynthia, where are you?!

(Angelica reaches for Cynthia. Then we cut to outside, as the train leaves the tunnel. As everything brightens up inside the Pullman compartment, Chuckie stops shivering and gets up from lying on the floor in fear, and the rest of the kids stop panicking as Angelica holds her dollhouse...)

Chuckie: Don't be scared, Wawa. I'm here.

(Chuckie reaches to the small table, only to find Wawa isn't there!)

Chuckie: WHERE'S WAWA?!

(Outside the compartment, we see Minka with her necklace missing...)

Minka: Ay yi yi! My necklace. It's gone!

Kira: (poking out from her and Didi's compartment door) You were robbed?

Didi: They were stolen?

Minka: It happened in the dark!

Boris: You probably left it at home, on the TV!

Betty: Oh no! I saw that string of rocks on her plain as day.

Chas: (looks at his newspaper) Another victim of... the train robber!

(Fade to black.)

(We fade to a while later in the Pullman car, where Betty is dragging the conductor over to the crime scene...)

Betty: Here's where it happened. Now cordon off the scene and sniff out the perp!

Conductor: All I do is punch the tickets. I'll call ahead for the detectives; they'll meet us in the morning at our first stop.

Chas: (with his newspaper) In the morning? But before the morning, there's... (dramatically) the night!

(Cut to nighttime; Howard is sleeping in the kids' compartment with Phil, Lil, Kimi, Chuckie and Tommy. Chuckie sleeps fitfully, until a rattling sound wakes Chuckie up. He looks over to the compartment door and sees the silhouette of the tall dark stranger through the window, holding something looking similar to Wawa. The stranger walks off, and Chuckie wakes up Tommy...)

Chuckie: Tommy, wake up!

Tommy: Wha, uh... what is it, Chuckie?

Chuckie: I "sawed" a real scary shadow guy. He had Wawa!

Lil: (as she and the others wake up) Maybe you "dreamded" it.

Kimi: Yeah, that's what happened...

Phil: Maybe I could dream it, too, if I could still be sleepin'!

Tommy: No! He didn't "dreamded" it! I saw the shadow guy, too! I just didn't say nothing 'cause Chuckie was being not "ascared" for the first time!

Chuckie: Thanks, Tommy. BUT NOW I'M SCARED, SO WHAT DO WE DO?! He's got Wawa!

Tommy: Not for long, Chuckie!

(They look at the sleeping Howard, and Tommy takes Howard's belt off his waist...)

Tommy: Come on! We're gonna find that shadow guy!

(Tommy whips the belt so the buckle catches the door latch and slides it open. The tall dark stranger walks to the other end of the Pullman car, as the babies manage to get their compartment door open enough for them to get out. Tommy looks out the door and sees the stranger's shadow, and they follow him as he passes through the vestibule to the next car ahead. Chuckie notices the rattling shaking vestibule tunnel, and imagines it as a menacing clown face. Chuckie cowers, and Kimi takes his hand.)

Kimi: You OK, Chuckie?

Chuckie: (as they walk through the vestibule tunnel) Yeah... I'm real good.

(The babies have gotten into the next car, which is a coach car.)

Phil: There he goes!

(They see the tall dark stranger's shadow exit the car into the vestibule ahead of them, and the door shuts, with the babies unable to make it. Phil slams into the door as it closes, and Tommy knocks on it.)

Lil: Look! (looks up to a red handle next to the door) Maybe that's what opens the door!

(The babies climb up onto one of the seats right under the emergency brake handle, forming a pyramid with Kimi on top. After a bit of balancing effort, Kimi grabs the handle.)

Kimi: I got it!

(She gives the emergency handle a big hard yank, and the train begins screeching to a halt. The force causes the babies to lose their balance and fall off the seat, along with other passengers and the conductor to lose their balance and fall over as well. The train has now come to a complete stop. The main adults emerge from their Pullman compartments.)

Didi: Is everyone all right?

Minka: A comfortable ride this isn't.

Boris: Oy... my hip!

Lou: That Dwayne probably had something to do with this!

Conductor: Don't worry. Some babies got to the emergency brake.

Betty, Didi and Kira: Babies?!

(In the next shot, the train has started up again, and the mothers are tucking the babies back into their compartment.)

Didi: Whatever were they thinking?

(They exit the compartment and turn off the lights, and as Howard still sleeps while standing up, Betty wakes him up.)

Betty: (angrily) Nice baby-watching, Howie.

Howard: I don't know how they opened that door!

(Without the belt, Howard's pants slide down, and the usual "wa, wa, wa" music piece plays as Howard notices and holds up his pants as he follows Betty. Brett and Angelica open the babies' compartment and look at them sleeping...)

Brett: Aren't they precious?

Angelica: (acting sweet) They're the most adorable little "bagamuffins!"

(They close the door and walk off, and the babies wake up again.)

Chuckie: (sadly) This was "apposed" to be a trip where nothing bad was gonna happen, but bad stuff keeps happenin' over and over. (sniffles) I'm never gonna see Wawa ever again. (cries a bit)

Phil: Yeah, I'd say that!

Lil: The shadow is too hard to catch.

(Chuckie continues crying.)

Tommy: Hey, you guys, Chuckie needs us to help him out, not tell him that bad stuff is gonna stay bad! (to Chuckie) I promised nothing bad would happen to you on this train, Chuckie. And now something bad did happen. And you're my "bestest" friend, and I'm "onna" get your Wawa back if it's the "lastest" thing I never do!

(The train continues chugging and whistling through the night. Through the rear door of the observation car, we see the silhouette of the tall dark stranger, and then it pulls away from us as the train rounds a curve and rolls over a trestle. The next morning, we see a bird flying from an orange tree near a train station as two detectives board. The babies watch from their compartment.)

Tommy: I think those are "defectives" here to help us find Wawa.

Chuckie: Wow! I "losted" Wawa a bunch of times and no "defectives" ever came "afore."

(The train departs the station, and we see the main adults inside the lounge car with the two detectives and Dwayne serving coffee.)

Detective 1: (with a notepad) I need you to report any suspicious activities you might have witnessed.

Lou: (softly to the detective) Uh, between you and me, I never liked the looks of that guy. (gestures to Dwayne)

Dwayne: Anyone want coffee?

Betty: (holding a cup) All right, Dwaynie! Java me up!

(Dwayne pours coffee into Betty's cup.)

Minka: And I wanted so much for this to be our second honeymoon. (she looks at Boris sleeping and frowns, but when she turns her head Boris smiles)

Kira: (looking at the route map) We should be near Cough Drop Pass.

Didi: (reading from the guide booklet) "Where years of natural erosion have formed the stone replica of soothing lozenge.

(Didi and Kira start to look out the window, but Detective 1 walks up to them.)

Detective 1: I have a couple of questions; standard procedure, if you'll come this way.

(Didi and Kira look at each other and then get up, just missing the Cough Drop Pass as the train passes by it. Drew and Stu are standing around looking bored...)

Drew: Yeah, OK, there's a thief. (gets an idea) Wanna sneak out and have some fun?

(Drew whispers in Stu's ear, and Stu grins and they high-five. The train continues chugging on as the engine's whistle blows, and in their compartment, the babies watch as Grandpa Lou enters.)

Lou: OK, sprouts. I'll be taking the next watch to keep you out of trouble.

(Sure enough, outside of the compartment, the shadow of the tall dark stranger appears. He walks by the babies' compartment as the babies talk with each other and Lou is asleep, as usual. Tommy sees the stranger in silhouette through the closed door holding up the object resembling Wawa and gives a horrified look as we fade to black...)

(We fade back to the babies' compartment as the stranger walks off from behind the closed door...)

Tommy: I just "sawed" the Shadow Guy! We gots to catch him!

Chuckie: I don't know, Tommy. We got your grandpa watching us. It's impossible to get away from HIM.

(Grandpa Lou is snoring loudly and muttering in his sleep...)

Tommy: I gots an idea!

(Tommy pulls Howard's belt out of his diaper, and uses it to pull their compartment door open once again.)

Tommy: The Shadow went this way!

(They walk towards the end of the car the tall dark stranger went off to, and Tommy gestures the others to follow him. After they leave, Didi walks out of her compartment and knocks on the closed door of the compartment the babies just left...)

Didi: Lou? The kids OK?

Lou: (from behind door) Sleepin'!

Didi: Oh, all right. I won't disturb them then. (returns to her compartment)

(At the rear of the train, Stu and Drew are standing on the platform of the observation car, enjoying the speed and the view.)

Stu: WOOO-HOOO! This is fun!

Drew: Don't fall! (taps Stu's shoulder)

Stu: (panics and grabs onto the railing) Cut that out!

Drew: What a baby!

(Inside the front lounge car, the babies walk past Charlotte, who is too occupied with her laptop and work papers to notice them. The engineer leaves the engine's cab through the vestibule, and the babies see the open door and run into it. Tommy looks around the cab a bit, as Chuckie appears nervous. Phil and Lil play in a pile of coal coming from an opening to the tender car, that uses coal to be shovelled into the furnace...)

Phil: This is good dirt! (tosses some around)

Lil: It's "extry" dirty!

Tommy: We don't have time for that, you guys.

(Kimi climbs into one of the engineer seats, and presses a button on the control console. The metal doors to the firebox open, and flames roar from it. The babies yelp in fear, and Kimi presses more buttons to try and close the firebox doors, which she does. But after jumping from the seat, pressure gauges rise, and the train begins to go even faster, with more smoke coming out of the smokestack of the engine than usual. The increase in speed causes the door on the back of the observation car to slide shut, locking Stu and Drew out on the platform.)

(In Didi and Kira's compartment, they are looking at the guide booklet again at the next upcoming sight...)

Didi: They're called the "Love Geysers." They erupt once every 96 days, the twin water spouts forming the shape of a heart, and today's the day!

(Didi, Kira and Dil look out their compartment window as they approach the geysers, but just as they begin to erupt, smoke from the engine's increase in speed blocks their view.)

Didi: Oh, dear...

(They have missed a perfect eruption of the Love Geysers forming a heart shape in pink water as the "wa, wa, wa, wa" music plays again.)

Didi: We have no little checks. Not even one! I'm finding this stressful.

(Angelica passes their open compartment door, humming casually...)

Kira: Where are you going, Angelica?

Angelica: My mommy said I could sit in the kid car. If you see my daddy, tell him that's where I am. (leaves)

Didi: Hmmm, whatever happened to Stu and Drew?

(At the rear of the train, Stu and Drew struggle to get the observation platform door open...)

Drew: Great! Now we're stuck out here, and it's YOUR fault!

Stu: There's gotta be a way off this thing! Maybe we can shimmy down a couple of cars until we find an open window!

(They look toward the side of the rattling speeding train.)

Drew: I guess it looks safe. You first!

(Stu gives Drew a look, and then climbs over the platform railing, looking below him nervously...)

Stu: (nervously) This is safe... totally safe...

(In the kids' Pullman car, Didi opens the door...)

Didi: Just checking on my little...

(She sees the compartment is empty except for Lou sleeping on one of the seats. Didi screams really loud, waking up Lou and causing him to fall over, and her scream is so loud it can be heard under the train's whistle blowing from the engine! In the observation car, the babies crawl under the tables, unaware of Stu and Drew shimmying on the outside of the car. In the kid car, Brett and Angelica are enjoying a box of chocolates together...)

Brett: Of course, the most wonderful thing about traveling is meeting new people. Don't you agree?

Angelica: (dreamily) Oh, yes!

(As they continue eating chocolates, Stu and Drew come up outside their window, but Angelica and Brett don't notice. Drew knocks on the window, and Stu screams as the train rolls along with them hanging outside of it. The babies then enter the baggage car, and look around a bit...)

Tommy: Gots to be real quiet.

(The babies walk around a bit, but then at the other end of the baggage car they see the shadow of the tall dar kstranger from behind some crates.)

Lil: It's him!

(Chuckie gasps, and as the other babies begin walking towards him, Chuckie trips on his untied shoelaces and stumbles backward onto a pile of luggage that falls over, including the red suitcase with gold stripes. The crashing and Chuckie's scream attracts the attention of the parents, conductor and detectives in one of the Pullman cars, and hurry over to the baggage car. Charlotte pulls out her cell phone...)

Charlotte: I'd better try Jonathan one last time.

(Stu and Drew enter the Pullman car through an open window and follow the other adults to the baggage car. They find the babies, and see the shadow of the tall dark stranger. A cell phone ringer is then heard, and the stranger steps out from behind the crates to reveal it's actually Jonathan in a trenchcoat, fedora hat and gloves with his cell phone...)

Jonathan: Yes Charlotte, I'm all over it.

Parents except Charlotte: (dramatic gasp) Jonathan?!

Jonathan: (annoyed) Charlotte made me come and hide in the train so she could get work done.

(Charlotte enters the baggage car, and Stu and Drew look at her...)

Charlotte: So I'd have more time... for the family! (to Jonathan) By the way, I have a new draft. (holds up draft)

(Jonathan shrugs, and then Chuckie realizes the shape he thought was Wawa was actually the way Jonathan was holding his cell phone. Back in the babies' compartment...)

Tommy: If that was Jonathan, who "stolded" Wawa?

Chuckie: (folds his arms) That's what I wanna know!

Tommy: Chuckie, you looked everywhere? Uh, under stuff? (he looks under a seat cushion)

Chuckie: Tommy, I always keep Wawa right next to me! He was "TOOKED!"

Tommy: (look under the seat and grabs something) Wait! I got something.

Kimi: What is it?

Tommy: I think it may be... (he pulls out...) Cynthia?

Lil: What's-is Cynthia doing down there?

Tommy: (walks over to the small table and thinks a bit) I think I "fingered" it out! If we got Cynthia, what do you think Angelica "gots?" Come on!

(The babies begin to walk out of the compartment, but Grandpa Lou enters...)

Lou: OK, sprouts, Grandpa Lou's watching you like a hawk! And this time, there'll be no gettin' away! (he sits down, and of course, he falls asleep)

(In the kid car, Brett is showing Angelica an old-looking pocket watch...)

Brett: It's my most prized possession. They say it belonged to Franklin Delano Roosevelt. (closes the watch)

Angelica: Let me show you my most prized possession in the whole wild world. (she opens her small carry-about dollhouse and pulls out Wawa) Huh? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

(As she screams, she throws Wawa in the air, and Chuckie just catches it as he enters the kid car with the other babies.)

Chuckie: Wawa! You're OK! (hugs it)

Angelica: (angrily) NO! HE'S DISGUSTING, YOU DUM... (notices Brett watching and changes to a sweet tone) ...mmmazingly wonderful precious babies!

Tommy: (holds up Cynthia) We found Cynthia, Angelica!

Angelica: Gimme her! (grabs Cynthia) Oh, Cynthia, I'm sorry! In the dark, I must have grabbed that dumb Wawa instead of you! (hugs the doll)

Chuckie: (to his Wawa) Wawa, I'm here. You don't "gots" to be scared no more.

Tommy: "Misery" solved!

Phil: We'd better go back now, before your grandpa figures out we're not there.

(The train continues chugging along the track, its' whistle tooting. Back in the baggage car, the first detective enters to investigate the area and notices the toppled-over luggage, including Dwayne's red-and-gold suitcase. He notices the label for Dwayne Tickerbacker, and then sees Minka's necklace in the case and takes a good look at it...)

Detective 1: Hmmm...

(As a "Dragnet"-style stinger is heard, we see the two detectives putting Dwayne in handcuffs as the train is stopped at a station. The other adults look on, as Lulu wipes away a tear with a handkerchief.)

Lou: I told ya I didn't like the looks of him!

(The babies watch as the detectives take the handcuffed Dwayne off the train and into custody, with Dwayne giving a foiled expression.)

Conductor: Next stop, Little Biendeltown!

(The train blows its' whistle from the engine and starts up again. A cloud of steam acts as a transition that takes us to Little Biendeltown, where the train pulls into its' station. A railroad semaphore signal changes to red, and the train doors open and everyone gets off. They set off to explore the rural-looking town as a small goat scampers across the road and a farm boy sleeps in a horse-drawn haywagon, as they are all talking at once. Some time passes, and everyone returns to the station to re-board the train.)

Minka: That was a nice visit! Now back on the train.

Stu: (carrying a sleeping Dil, nervously) For another... eighteen... hours...

Chas: (takes a photo of Kira posing next to the station clock) That rubber band sure was big!

(Angelica and Brett walk up to the train. As Angelica steps on...)

Angelica: Come on, Brett. We gotta go.

Brett: I'm afraid not, Angelica. I'm staying.

Angelica: What?! What do you mean?

Brett: My family lives here. They run the Biendeltown School of Deportment and Ballroom Dancing. (does a ballet pose)

Angelica: (sadly) Then... I guess this is... bye! But parting with such sweet sorrow... (suddenly gets angry) Wait a sec! 'Cause of you, I was being all nice to those "blechhy" babies!

Brett: You mean, the precious ones?

Angelica: GIMME A BREAK! (shuts the door, but then opens it again) Later, Smoothie!

(She shuts the door again, and Brett walks off, seeming puzzled. Later, the train chugs around a curve, as the babies are back in their compartment. Phil and Lil are running around as Tommy looks out the window and Chuckie cuddles his Wawa...)

Tommy: I told you everything would work out, Chuckie!

Chuckie: Uh-huh! Now we can have a nice fun trip, with nothing crazy happenin'.

(Suddenly, the train enters a tunnel again, darkening their compartment as the ghostly whistle blows from the engine, and all the babies scream as the episode ends.)