Stu-Maker's Elves/Transcript

[Episode begins with Tommy's Zippo Glider flying by.]

Tommy: It's my newest, favoritest toy in the whole world.

[ Tommy catches toy]

Tommy: My Zippo Glider plane.

Chuckie: Wow!

Tommy: See, Chuckie? It's easy. You just hold it like this, and throw it!

[ Tommy throws toy plane, toy glides past Chuckie's hair, then he catches it]

Chuckie: I get it now, Tommy. Here goes!

[ Chuckie throws plane, then it hits vent register]

Chuckie, walking over to plane: Aw... I can't do anything right.

Drew, in vent: How many do they want, Stu?

Stu: 15,000, Drew.

Drew: 15,000, Stu?

Stu: That's right, Drew.

[zooms into basement]

Grandpa Lou: 15,000 dolls?! That's ridiculous! Why, there were 15 girls in my family and they all shared the same doll! Slept in the same room, too.

Stu: Drew, Mucklehoney Toys wants 15,000 Patty Pants dolls, and they want delivery in 2 weeks.

Drew: Now, don't get me wrong, little brother, but how's a small-time guy like you gonna make 15,000 dolls by next week?

Grandpa Lou: Gonna hire you some elves, or something?

[ Lou and Drew laugh hysterically]

Stu: Laugh now, guys, because in a moment, you'll be speechless. Gentlemen, feast your eyes on this.

[ Stu pulls back cover to reveal machine, Lou gasps]

Drew: What is it?

Stu: Introducing the Patented Pickles Patty Pants Production Powerhouse. Boys, this thing will churn out 7 Pattys a minute.

[ Lou whistles and walks over to machine]

Drew: I don't know, Stu. Maybe you're better off hiring a professional production company to do all this.

Stu: What, and cut into my profits?

Grandpa Lou: Heh! Seems to me a screwdriver and a paintbrush would be a whole lot easier than all this fuss!

Stu: Prepare to be amazed.

[ Stu activates machine, hand grabs Patty Pants doll head from bin, places it upside down, puts doll legs on head, places torso backwards and on top of head, inserts arms in the arm placements, transports doll to slide, Stu looks shocked, turns off machine]

Stu: Gee, I thought I had all the bugs worked out on this thing.

Drew: Well, only 14,999 to go, Stu.

[ Stu sighs, scene cuts to Chuckie attempting to throw toy plane]

Chuckie: I don't know, Tommy. I guess I'm just not meant to soar with the eagles.

Tommy: Come on, Chuckie. Don't give up. Here, I'll show you one more time! Now, watch.

[ Tommy throws plane, falls over and grunts, toy glides past Didi in kitchen, whooshes past boys, then flies into basement]

Both Tommy and Chuckie: Uh-oh...

To be continued, because I was tired and needed some sleep.