Doctor Susie/Transcript

(The episode begins with what looks like a field of grass. Dramatic music plays as what looks like a tornado is seen carrying a cow. The cow moos as it flies through the air. The camera zooms out, revealing the grass to be a carpet, the tornado to have come from Lucy's vacuum cleaner, and the cow to be Mrs. Moo-Moo, Susie's toy cow. The camera then moves up to Lucy as she turns off the vacuum. Susie walks in as Lucy shakes the vacuum. Mrs. Moo-Moo, who is now in pieces, falls out of it.)
 * Susie: Oh, no! Mrs. Moo Moo!

(Susie runs up to Lucy as Lucy picks up Mrs. Moo-Moo's pieces.)
 * Lucy: Don't worry, honey. Mrs. Moo-Moo's going to be okay!

(Susie and Lucy walk out of the living room. In the next scne, Mrs. Moo-Moo is under a lamp as Lucy glues her back together.)
 * Susie: Wow. I thought you were just a people doctor, Mommy.
 * Lucy: It's the same no matter what you're fixing. You just have to know what goes where, what tool to use, and how to give the patient tender loving care. And don't forget the lollipop.

(Lucy hands the lollipop to Susie, who picks up a Dummi Bears lunchbox and puts it on the table.)
 * Susie: Will you teach me to be a doctor, too?
 * Lucy: Of course. We'll start with the Hippocratic Oath.

(In the next scene, which takes place in the living room of Tommy's house, Dil picks up Happy Harry and chews on his head. He then shakes Happy Harry, whose head comes off his body. Happy Harry's head flies through the air and lands near Chuckie, who is playing ball with Tommy, Phil, and Lil. Chuckie gasps and screams as he picks up Happy Harry's head.)
 * Chuckie: Aah! Happy Harry!
 * Phil: I don't think he's very happy now.
 * Chuckie: That's it! That is the final saw! I didn't mind when Dil chewed up our blocks, or when he throwed our Clay-doh on the ceiling, or even when he broked Mr. Clown! I kind of liked that. But not Happy Harry! He was so happy!

(Dil rips Happy Harry's arm off as Stu and Didi walk into the living room.)
 * Stu: Gee, it's like a horror movie in here, only with toys!
 * Didi: Lipschitz says toy-breaking is an important way for infants to test the bounds of physical force. (The doorbell rings.) Oh, that's Lucy! We're having coffee. Is the kitchen sink fixed yet?
 * Stu: It better be, the plumber just left in his limo.
 * (In the living room, Tommy and his friends wants to do something.
 * Tommy: Don't worry, guys. Now we got lots of toys to play with. Like, uh... Mr. Leg. See? Mr. Leg can do lots of stuff! Like, uh... walk. And, uh... jump! And, uh... huh, I guess that's it.

(Phil and Lil look at each other, unamused. Susie walks in as sees the state of the living room.)


 * Susie: Quick! Which toy's the brokenest?
 * Phil: Jelly Bear.
 * Susie: Where is he?

(Lil points in three different directions.)
 * Lil: Over there and over there and over there.

(Susie runs up to Jelly Bear's body and picks it up. She then picks up his arm and nose, then next she opens her lunchbox, takes out a bottle of glue, and uses it to glue Jelly Bear's arm back on. Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all walk up to her as she does this.)
 * Tommy: Huh? What's Susie doing?
 * Lil: She's fixing Mr. Bear!

(Susie glues Jelly Bear's nose back on.)
 * Susie: All fixed!

(Susie gives Jelly Bear a lollipop, but he falls over. Susie gasps, then picks him up.)
 * Susie: Maybe you'd better stay in the hospital for a while. (Puts Jelly Bear back in a play pen.) But don't worry, you're gonna have a lot of company.

(In the next scene, Susie picks up a toy car and its missing tire. She then picks up the broken clown doll, then she glues the tire back onto the toy car. She then puts the now-fixed clown doll in the playpen, then picks up a broken jack-in-the box. She glues the broken spring back together and puts the clown back in the box, then puts back in a playpen)
 * Tommy: Wow. Are you a doctor now, Susie?
 * Susie: I think so. My mommy read me the Hippopotamus Oath and everything. I'm a Toyologist.
 * Angelica (heard offscreen): Hey, babies! Hello, Susie.
 * Tommy: Oh, it's Dr. Susie now, Angelica.

(Chuckie gasps and backs away.)
 * Phil: Yeah, she talked to a hippomopotamus.
 * Lil: And it taughted her how to fix toys!

(Chuckie walks in, carrying a bone wrapped in a ribbon. Angelica gasps.)
 * Chuckie: Look, Angelica! Susie even fixed Spike's toys! Isn't she wonderful?
 * Susie: I'm just doin' my job, that's all!
 * Angelica: Well, I'm gonna need a doctor soon, 'cause all of this is makin' me sick!
 * Tommy: Sorry, Angelica. Dr. Susie only doctors toys!

(Tommy walks away.)
 * Lil: Yeah, she's a Toyometrist!
 * Angelica: Big deal, I've been fixin' you babies' toys for years!
 * Tommy: Well, actually, Angelica, you've been breaking them!
 * Angelica: Fixing, breaking, what's the difference?
 * Susie: There's a big difference, Angelica! All these toys are like peoples to me! (gasps) Hey, I'm almost out of glue! I'll see if my mom has some.

(Susie picks up her lunchbox and walks away.)
 * Tommy: That's Dr. Susie for you, always thinking of the toys first!
 * Angelica: Susie, Susie, Susie! Is that all you babies can talk about? Come on, Cynthia!

(In the next scene, Stu is in the kitchen, looking over a leaky pipe in the sink that has been taped up. He is on the phone with the plumber)
 * Stu: You call this plumbing? This is taping! Have you been to Plumber School? Yes, there is such a thing! You'll never plumb in this town again!

(Angelica walks into the kitchen and looks outside at Didi, Lucy, and Susie, who are all at a picnic table.)
 * Angelica: Dr. Susie will never doctor in this town again! (Angelica walks away, then up to the babies. Tommy is playing with his newly-repaired Reptar doll.) Hey, babies, there's a big old rainbow outside with a leprechaun at the end of it and a huge pot of gold! (Groaning) And there's a bunch of mud and worms out there, too!

(The babies gasp and cheer.)
 * Phil: Wow!
 * Chuckie: Okay, let's go!

(The babies stand up and walk away. Angelica picks up Tommy's Reptar doll and pulls off his tail, leg, and arm. Outside, the babies are looking around for mud and worms, but to no avail.)
 * Phil: I don't see any mud or worms.

(The camera cuts to a close-up of some grass as Tommy looks through it, finding a four-leaf clover.)
 * Tommy: Nothing good here, either. Let's go back in and play.

(In the living room, Angelica hides behind a chair as the babies walk back into the house. They gasp when they find all their toys are broken again. Chuckie picks up Happy Harry's head and body as Phil walks towards the broken jack-in-the-box.)
 * Chuckie: What happened to Happy Harry?
 * Phil: And Jack's out of his box!

(Tommy runs up to Susie.)
 * Tommy: Dr. Susie, look!

(The babies all run out of the playpen.)
 * Susie: What happened to these patients?
 * Chuckie: They were just fine and then we went outside lookin' for mud and leprechauns and when we came back they was... they... it all happened so fast!

(Angelica walks into the living room.)
 * Angelica: Spill it, Finster! They was broken into little bits because your precious Dr. Susie didn't fix 'em right!
 * Susie: That's not true!
 * Tommy: Oh, no! Dil must have broked them all over again.

(Angelica is now standing next to a sleeping Dil.)
 * Angelica: Nah, he was asleep when I was brea... I mean, uh...

(Angelica gasps as Dil yawns and awakens.)
 * Angelica: See? He's just waking up now!
 * Chuckie: You was here when we left, Angelica. How do we know you didn't break 'em?
 * Angelica: I'm shocked at you, Chuckie! I would never do something like that! Is it my fault that Dr. Susie isn't a real doctor?
 * Susie: I am too, Angelica!
 * Angelica: Oh, really? Well, did you go to Doctor School?
 * Susie: Uh, no. But, I...
 * Angelica: Aha! Everybody knows you can't be a doctor unless you go to Doctor School! Give me that Doctor Kit! You'll never doctor in this town again!

(Susie hands her lunchbox to Angelica, who walks away. Susie gasps. In the kitchen, Stu is now wearing rain boots and holding a mop as he walks up to the leaky pipe in the sink. Dil coos as he crawls up to Cynthia, who is sitting near the chair.)
 * Susie: I'm sorry, you guys.
 * Tommy: It's okay, Susie. We played with our toys like this afore, and we can do it again! Come on, guys, let's play ball.

(Tommy picks up a deflated ball and grunts as he tosses it to Chuckie, but it lands on the floor before he can catch it. Phil and Lil gasp as Lucy watches from inside the kitchen.)
 * Lucy: Everything okay in here?

(Susie picks up Jelly Bear and runs up to Lucy.)
 * Susie: Jelly Bear's broken, Mommy! Can you save him?

(Susie hands Jelly Bear to Lucy.)
 * Lucy: I'll do my best. Let's see. Sink still leaking, Stu?
 * Stu: Just a little... Whoa!
 * Lucy: I have something at home that'll fix it up in no time. I'll leave Jelly Bear in your capable hands, doctor. I'll be right back.

(Lucy walks away. Susie gasps as Angelica runs right past her, knocking Jelly Bear out of her hands.)
 * Angelica: Any of you babies seen Cynthia?

(Angelica gasps as a now armless and legless Cynthia flies past her. She then sees the state of Cynthia, and Dil chewing on Cynthia's leg.)

Angelica: Aaaaaahhh!!!

(Causing Dil to cry. Didi walks in.)


 * Didi: What's wrong, sweetums? Did someone upset you?

(Angelica runs up to Didi and grabs her arm.)
 * Angelica: Aunt Didi, Dil wrecked Cynthia!

(Didi picks up Dil and gives his bottom a gentle pat.)
 * Didi: Oh, I'm sure he didn't mean to. He's just testing the boundaries of physical force. Come on, Mommy will make it all better with some strained peas.

(Didi walks away, taking Dil with her. Angelica turns to Susie.)
 * Angelica: You've got to save Cynthia!
 * Susie: Me? I thought I wasn't a doctor. 'Member?

(Angelica backs away.)
 * Angelica: But... but that was before Dil broke Cynthia! You've got to fix her!
 * Tommy: But Angelica, you said Susie didn't fix our toys right!
 * Chuckie: Yeah, you did!
 * Phil: I heard you!
 * Lil: With my ears!

(Lil picks her ear.)
 * Angelica: Oh, you dumb babies! I broke those toys after Susie fixed 'em! (The babies and Susie all gasp upon hearing this.) Well, you were all talking about Susie this and Susie that, and I never thought I'd need her to doctor... (Angelica picks up Cynthia.) Cynthia!
 * Susie: I only hope it's not too late. (Susie picks up her lunchbox.) I'm gonna need help!

(In the next scene, Susie, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil are all seen washing their hands in Spike's water dish, and Tommy is seen blowing on his hands. Susie then pulls a pink bib out of a drawer and puts it on Tommy's chest. She then puts a diaper on Chuckie's head. In the next scene, Tommy, Chuckie, Phil and Lil are all wearing diapers on their heads, bibs on their chests, and slippers on their feet. Susie herself is dressed like a surgeon, albeit with regular doctor attire.)
 * Susie: Come on, junior doctors! We have a toy to save!

(The babies all walk up to Susie. Chuckie trips over the deflated ball and grunts as he knocks over a nightstand, then groans.)
 * Susie: Uh, Chuckie, maybe you should keep Angelica company in the waiting room.

('Chuckie gasps, then walks outside, where Angelica is waiting. Tommy sets the nightstand back up.)
 * Susie: Oh, let's begin. (Susie turns on the lamp and picks up Cynthia.) Paste.

(Tommy grabs the glue bottle and hands it to Susie.)


 * Tommy: Paste.

(Susie begins gluing Cynthia back together.)
 * Susie: Tissues.

(Tommy hands Susie a tissue.)
 * Tommy: Tissues.

(As Susie continues to glue Cynthia back together, the glue cap comes off, causing glue to spread everywhere.)
 * Susie: Rats!

(Tommy, Phil, and Lil all gasp. Tommy looks in Susie's lunchbox.)
 * Tommy: We don't have any rats.
 * Susie: No, rats! The paste cap fell off. I need suction!

(Tommy picks up a turkey baster.)
 * Tommy: Suckin'!

(Tommy uses the turkey baster to suck up the excess of glue. Susie tries to pick Cynthia up, but she is stuck to the table thanks to the glue.)
 * Susie: She's stickin' to the table! No, she's cracking! Spatula!

(Susie points at a spatula, which Tommy hands her.)
 * Tommy: Spacula!
 * Susie: Stand back!

(Susie grunts as she uses the spatula to pry Cynthia from the glue. Cynthia is launched into the air.)
 * Susie: Where'd she go?

(Tommy gasps, as do Phil and Lil. Lil walks into the playpen and finds Cynthia amongst the broken toys.)
 * Lil: Here she is, Dr. Susie!

(Lil brings Cynthia back to Susie.)
 * Susie: Whoa, that was close! We almost lost her!

(Outside, Angelica is nervously pacing the floor as Chuckie tries to calm her down.)
 * Angelica: What's takin' so long?
 * Chuckie: Uh, uh, can I get you somethin', Angelica!
 * Angelica: No! The only thing I want is Cynthia!

(Angelica points inside as Phil wipes Cynthia's head with a sponge. Likewise, Tommy wipes Susie's head with a sponge, then gasps. Lil gives Susie a sippy cup to drink, and Angelica continues pacing the floor. Cynthia now has both her legs and one arm reattached and Angelica continues pacing the floor. Susie chews on some bubble gum, blows a bubble, then spits the gum into her hand. She uses the gum to reattach Cynthia's other arm. Outside, Angelica sits unhappily as Chuckie paces the floor)
 * Susie: Angelica... Someone wants to see you!

(Susie holds out Cynthia.)
 * Angelica: Cynthia! You're all right!

(Angelica runs up to Susie and takes Cynthia from her. Angelica hums and kisses Cynthia's head.)
 * Susie: Thanks for all your help, Dr. Tommy, Nurse Phil, Nurse Lil, Chuckie!
 * Angelica: Thanks, Susie! You are a pretty good doctor after all!
 * Susie: No problem, Angelica... this time.
 * Angelica: Yeah, yeah, whatever! Come on, Cynthia, you're opposed to get ice cream after bein' in the hospital!

(Angelica hums as she skips away with Cynthia in tow. The camera zooms in on the window, where Stu and Lucy are. A universal joint has been used to fix the sink.)
 * Stu: Thanks for fixing the sink, Lucy. Hey, do those universal joints work on car transmissions, too?

(The camera moves over to the living room, where Didi is now holding Dil.)
 * Didi: There's a good boy, Dilly! Now you can play with all your favorite toys!

(Didi sits Dil down in his pillow and picks up a basket of newly-repaired toys. She empties the basket, and Dil coos as he picks up a block, shakes it, then tosses it aside. Dil then pulls a ring off a stacking rings toy, which he then smushes and tosses aside. Dil then kicks a truck with a monkey in it, and the babies walk in and gasp when they see Dil tossing toys everywhere.)
 * Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil: No!

(The babies all run up to Dil, and Susie follows behind them.)
 * Susie: Glue, rubber bands, paste, now!

(The camera cuts to an overhead view of Tommy's house and zooms out on it. An ambulance drives by and flashes its siren. The screen fades to black, ending the episode.)