Grandpa's Teeth/Transcript

[The Pickles are at a family picnic, where Grandpa Lou will be playing his trumpet in a veterans' band]

Tommy: Doesn't Grandpa blow his trumpet good?

Chuckie: Yeah. He sounds even better than a car horn.

[Didi and Stu are clapping]

Didi: Isn't he talented?

Stu: Unbelievable. So good. So clear. Sounded great.

Didi: That was wonderful, Pop.

Stu: Yeah, those new dentures really make the difference.

Lou: Yep. Glad I had a new set made. Don't think I could've played my horn with the old pair. Still feel kinda funny, though. Maybe I'll take them out for just a sec so I can break into some of Didi's famous potato salad.

Stu: Pop, don't!

Didi: Remember what happened last time you took your teeth out?

Lou: Wasn't my fault Drew knocked 'em into the spaghetti sauce! In my day, people watched where they lay their elbows!

Drew: It was the Jell-O mold, Pop, and YOU knocked 'em in.

Stu: Hey, Drew, check it out. That guy brought one of those new gas-powered turbo barbecues.

Drew: Really? Just do use all a favor, Pop, and keep 'em in your mouth until you're home!

'''[Tommy and Chuckie are sitting inside of a small playpen watching Grandpa Lou take out his dentures. The babies are fascinated by the way some people can take their teeth out]'''

Chuckie: Your grandpa took his teeth out!

Tommy: Yeah! I wish I could do that.

Chuckie: Me too.

[Lou puts his teeth near the salad bowl and begins to eat]

Tommy: If you didn't have teeth and you bit your tongue, it wouldn't hurt.

Lou: Say, now...

[Lou walks up to the Jell-O]

Tommy: I wonder how he did it.

Chuckie: Your grandpa's really old. Maybe he pulled on them so long, they finally came out.

[Spike takes the teeth in his mouth]

Tommy: Hey!

[Spike grabs a rib and runs off]

Chuckie: Uh-oh.

Didi: Grandpa! Are you eating Jell-O without your teeth again? I insist you put them back right this minute, please.

Lou: Okay, Okay, Didi. They're just behind this bowl of salad. Hey! Where's my teeth? They were laying here just a minute ago!

Didi: Now, let's not panic.

Lou: I can't play my trumpet without my teeth!

Didi: After all, how far could they have gone? Who would want them?

Drew: What's going on?

Didi: He lost his teeth again.

Drew and Stu: Oh, no!

Didi: Think for a moment, Pop. What was the last thing you did with your teeth before you lost them?

Lou: Well, just took them out to have a bite of your salad and then...Uh-oh.

Didi, Drew and Stu: Eww!

[The adults realize Lou has lost his teeth and begin searching because Lou needs the teeth to play the trumpet properly in the band about to play.]

Tommy: Chuckie, we've got to get grandpa's teeth back.

Chuckie: I don't know, Tommy. Spike could be all the way across the park by now. It could take two, maybe three days to get there. Maybe we better forget about.

Tommy: Forget about it? FORGET ABOUT IT?!

When I get sick, who takes care of me?

Grandpa.

When no one else wants to play, who plays with me?

Grandpa. When I sneak out of my room late at night who sleeps with the TV on so I can watch it?

Chuckie: Grandpa?

Tommy: Right. He's the neatest grown-up there is. And now, he needs us. We've got to help him. What do you say?

Chuckie: Maybe your grandpa will grow some new teeth.

Tommy: Let's go.

''[Tommy uses his screwdriver to escape the playpen with Chuckie and retrieve the dentures. With Tommy and Chuckie.]''

Tommy: Spike! Spike!

Chuckie: Spike! Spike!

[Spike takes the teeth to a duck pond.]

Chuckie: Tommy, I see him. He's over by that duck pond.

[Chuckie and Tommy run up to Spike.]

Tommy: Good boy, Spike.

Chuckie: Let's go back to the picnic, Tommy.

[They are surrounded by ducks.]

Chuckie: Or maybe we should go the other way.

[The dentures falls out of Spike's mouth and the fast duck steals them.]

Chuckie: Uh-oh.

Tommy: Run!

[The fast duck runs up to Chuckie.]

Chuckie: Um, nice ducky.

[Chuckie attempts to get them back and ends up on the duck's back.]

Chuckie: No, ducky! No!

[Tommy gets on Spike's back.]

Tommy: Hiya! Come on, Spike!

''[Tommy rides Spike after Chuckie. At a ranch.]''

Boy: But I don't want to ride the pony, dad. He might go too fast.

Man: Junior, these old boneys can barely trot. Now, just relax and we'll take one little ride around the corral, okay?

[The horse is angered by the duck and begins to gallop rapidly, which the son enjoys after all but the father doesn't as he's pulled along by the saddle.]

Man: Whoa!

-Hey! Don't ride them ponies that-a-way!

[The boy is enjoying it.]

Boy: Cool horse, dad.

[Tommy and Spike are watching the scene.]

Tommy: Hiya! Come on, Spike!

[Tommy and Spike runs after them.]

Chuckie: Tommy, help!

[At a shuffle board court.]

-There's some horses a-coming.

-Huh?

-I said there's some horses a-coming.

-You say your porch needs new plumbing?

''[The shuffle board puck stops the fast duck. Chuckie goes flying while the dentures falls out of the fast duck's mouth. Tommy grabs the dentures.]''

Tommy: Got them.

[Tommy grabs Chuckie.]

Chuckie: Let's ride!

Tommy: Hiya, Spike! Giddyup!

[At the picnic.]

Lou: Didi, check in the bucket of fried chicken. Maybe I dropped them in there.

[Stu spits out the chicken.]

-It's time for the concert. Are you ready?

Lou: I lost my teeth--

-That's wonderful. Let's get this thing started then.

[With Tommy, Chuckie and Spike.]

Tommy: They're starting, Chuckie!

Chuckie: Uh-oh.

[The veterans' band begins to perform "The Star Spangled Banner," with Lou hitting a lot of sour notes due to lacking his dentures.]

Lou: I lost my teeth

[With Tommy, Spike and Chuckie.]

Chuckie: Picnic Table! Picnic table!

Tommy: Duck!

[Tommy and Chuckie are brought back to the picnic where Spike ducks under picnic tables with the babies on top of him.]

Chuckie: Duck!

[Tommy is confused because there are no more picnic tables.]

Tommy: No, Chuckie. We got under the table.

Chuckie: No, the other type of duck!

''[The ducks attempt to stop the babies, but are frightened by the speed of Spike, and run away. Spike bumps into a table and Lou's dentures pop out of his mouth and into the instruments in Lou's band.]''

Lou: My teeth!

[Lou catches them and plays his trumpet beautifully just in time for the finish.]

-Yeah, great.

-Uh, a unique interpretation of our nation's anthem, Pickles but a stirring finish.

[With Chuckie, Tommy and Spike.]

Chuckie: Boy, being old is scary. Your teeth come out and get lost and sometimes, big ducks eat them.

Tommy: Yeah. Maybe it's better to keep your stuff right where it is.

[Tommy then spots an old man take a wig off and is fascinated.]

Tommy: Chuckie, let me see something.

[Tommy reaches for Chuckie's hair.]

Chuckie: Tommy, forget about it.

[The band is playing Polka.]

End of Episode