Reptar's Revenge/Transcript

[Angelica, Phil, Lil, Tommy and Chuckie are standing by the fence looking at the carnival.]

Chuckie: Wow, Tommy, look!

[Chuckie points to a guy in a reptar suit.]

Chuckie, Phil, Lil and Tommy: Reptar!

[Didi is reluctant to go into the carnival.]

Didi: Stu, look at that terrible lizard

Stu: It's just a guy in a rubber suit, deed

Didi: Maybe we shouldn't bring the kids into this...this carnival

Lou: Why not? When I was their age, I was already workin' the carny. Hard work, dawn to dusk. And at night I had to sleep with the elephants

Stu: Elephants pop?

Lou: That's what I said! And if one of them had a bad dream, he might just roll over and squash ya

[The owner of the carnival is threatening a man in a Reptar suit.]

Leo's boss: Listen, Leo, I am sick and tired of you eating all them cereal samples

Leo: But I love those bite-sized sugary morsels

Leo's boss: You've had enough sugary morsels for one lifetime. Look, Leo you may be my wife's kid brother and all but this is the last time I cover for you

[With the kids.]

Phil: Look at that guy poking Reptar

Lil: How come Reptar doesn't just eat him up?

[With Leo and the owner.]

Leo's boss: Now, get this straight, Leo. This here tray has 50 samples in it. If I don't see 50 kids leave this carnival with boxes of cereal you'll never work in show biz again

[With the kids.]

Tommy: We got to go find Reptar

Chuckie: I don't know, Tommy. We could get lost or something

Tommy: Don't be a baby, Chuckie. Come on

[Stu picks Tommy up.]

Stu: Up we go, champ

[A clown honks a horn by Didi.]

Didi: Oh! Get it away! Get it away!

[The clown walks away.]

Stu: What's wrong, Deed?

Didi: Oh, I'm sorry, it's nothing

Stu: Oh, wait a minute. You're afraid of clowns, aren't you?

Didi: What? Afraid of what?

Stu: Come on, Didi, admit it

Didi: Oh, I don't know, Stu. There's just something about them that just frighten me

Lou: You think that clown was scary? You should have seen the clowns I knew back in the old days. Now they were scary. I remember this one they called Mr. Sniffles

[Tommy is pointing at Reptar.]

Stu: Come on, champ. Now, where to first, gang?

Angelica: I want to go on a ride, uncle Stu

Didi: Which ride, sweetheart?

Angelica: That one! That one!

[Angelica sees a ride called the Nause-O-Whirl.]

Angelica: The Nause-O-Whirl

Didi: Oh, I don't know, Stu. That looks way too scary for a little girl. Honey, don't you think it would be more fun to go on a ride like that one?

[Didi tries to convince Angelica to go on a ride called Snail Adventure (where the kids look thoroughly bored).]

Angelica: I want to go on the Nause-O-Whirl! I want to go on the Nause-O-Whirl!

Lou: Let her go. Everybody's got to get scared stiff at some point in their lives. Might as well be when they're three years old

''[Angelica gets on the ride. Lou, Didi, Stu, Phil, Lil, Chuckie and Tommy are watching the ride.]''

Didi: Oh

[The ride turns out to be much more intense and frightening than Angelica imagined.]

Didi: Stu, this is terrible! We've got to do something

[Stu walks up to a worker.]

Stu: Stop it! Stop it! She's going to be sick!

-Give it a kick? You got it, dude

Stu: No, no, stop it! Stop, stop!

[The ride stops and the worker lets Angelica off the ride.]

Didi: Honey, are you okay?

[Didi picks up Angelica.]

Angelica: I think so, uncle Stu

[Stu spots a corny Tunnel of Love style ride.]

Stu: Hey, Deed, look. Now, how about going on that ride, honey?

Didi: I'll bet that water is filthy

Stu: Come on, Deed, just for old time's sake

Didi: Well....

Lou: Go on, you two lovebirds. A little boat ride in the dark will do you good. Your only young once, you know

Didi: But what about the children, Pop?

Lou: Don't you worry, I'll watch the herd

Didi: Well, it's silly, but...okay

Stu: Great

[Stu and Didi are running to the ride.]

Lou: Ah, love. It's wasted on the young that's for sure. Let me tell you something about love. Well, maybe in a couple of years. Come on, sprouts. Let's go find us some fun

[Lou takes them to a very slow ride called Sleepy Lagoon.]

Lou: Say, now, this is what I call a ride

[Lou walks up to the ride operator.]

Lou: How long does this ride last, young fella?

Ride operator: About three minutes

Lou: How long did you say?

Ride operator: Whoa, as long as you like, sir

Lou: Now you're talking

''[With Stu and Didi. Stu puts his arm around Didi. With Lou and the kids.]''

Lou: Anyhoo, there I was on a frieghter bound for China

[The babies are very bored (as bored as the kids on Snail Adventure).]

Lou: We was about two weeks out of Shanghai when the typhoon hit. 15-foot waves crashing on the deck. "Go, get the captain", they said. I found him under his bunk crying. Yeah, he was crying like a baby...

''[Lou falls asleep. Tommy spots Reptar.]''

Tommy: There goes Reptar. Let's fallow him

Angelica: Follow him? How are we going to follow him? We can't even get off this boat, dummy

Tommy: Look. Quick, now's our chance

[Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, Lil and Angelica got off the ride and start searching for Reptar.]

Tommy: Now where did Reptar go?

Angelica: There he is

[Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, Lil and Angelica start following Reptar.]

Chuckie: Look over there

[Reptar is eating the Reptar cereal.]

Chuckie: What's he eating?

Tommy: Wow! Reptar cereal!

Angelica: I'm going to get some

Lil: You can't do that, Angelica

Phil: Yeah, Reptar might eat you up or something

[Angelica walks up to Reptar.]

Angelica: Hey, Reptar!

[Reptar screams.]

Leo: Hello, little girl. Would you like a free sample of my Reptar cereal?

Angelica: Yes, please, Reptar, sir

Leo: Here you go

[Angelica gets a free sample of Reptar Cereal from him.]

Angelica: May I have another one, please?

Leo: I'm sorry, little girl. Only one free sample per human child

Angelica: Give me one

Leo: Listen, kid, it ain't up to me

Angelica: I said give me one!

[Angelica kicks Reptar.]

Leo: Ow!

[Angelica steals all the boxes and flees.]

Leo: Hey, come back here. You stole...oh, this stupid costume. I can't believe these kids. Where do they get off...?

["Reptar" is chasing after Angelica.]

Tommy: We got to do something or Angelica's going to get eat up for sure

Phil and Lil: So?

Tommy: Come on

[Reptar is still chasing Angelica.]

Leo: Why, you little...

[Reptar and Angelica run through the golf course.]

Angelica: Nyah-nyah. Nyah-nyah-nyah

''[Angelica blows raspberry. Reptar and Angelica run past sleep lagoon. With Lou.]''

Lou: (mumbling) Hoist the mizzen mast

''[Angelica goes through a door marked "Positively No Admittance" followed closely by the man in the Reptar suit. With Tommy, Chuckie, Phil and Lil.]''

Chuckie: Which way now, Tommy?

Tommy: Look

[With Stu and Didi.]

Didi: Stuart?

Stu: Yes, my sweet?

Didi: I...I...I love you right now

Stu: And I you

Didi: Look into my eyes, darling. They're eyes that see only you

Stu: Oh, Didi

Didi: Stu

Stu: Didi

Didi: Stu

Stu: Didi

Didi: Stu

Stu: Didi

[With Angelica.]

Angelica: Blech!

[Angelica starts running with Reptar chasing her.]

Leo: Now I got you. Give...me...that cereal

Angelica: No!

Leo: I said give it to me

Angelica: No, you big dumb dinosaur

[The man tries to retake the boxes, but when cornered Angelica tosses them into the water and flees.]

Tommy: Come on, Angelica, let's get out of here

[Didi and Stu have been enjoying themselves on the ride.]

Didi: Oh, Stu, darling

Stu: Didi

Didi: Kiss me. Kiss me, I say

''[Just as they're about to kiss they see "Reptar" in the water and are shocked. Back outside, the group runs back to Sleepy Lagoon and get back on the boat before Lou wakes up.]''

Lou: What? Huh? Where was I? Oh, yeah. I knew it was all up to me. So I took the wheel...

[With Stu and Didi.]

Stu: Admit it, Didi. The tunnel of love was pretty exciting

Didi: Well, it was fun, I guess. But I don't know about that lizard

[With Reptar.]

Leo: So, there I was face to face with this little three-foot monster. She grabbed one end of the tray and I grabbed the other...

Leo's boss: That's it, Leo! I have had it. You've been nothing but trouble ever since day one. You're fired

Leo: Fired? You can't fire me. Me Reptar!

[This infuriates "Reptar", causing him to go on a rampage through the carnival.]

Tommy: Hey, look

[The entire group witnesses "Reptar" being cornered by many employees as he attacks a model Empire State Building at the carnival's miniature golf course.]

Tommy: I told you, you shouldn't mess with the Reptar. He's really mad at you now

Angelica: Maybe we'd better get out of here. I'm really sleepy, uncle Stu

Didi: Of course you are, sweetie. We should probably go anyway. With unbalanced people like that lizard man running around this is no place for innocent children

Tommy: Reptar

[End of episode.]