Tommy Pickles and the Great White Thing/Transcript

(As the opening credits roll, we are looking at the door of the bathroom. After the credits finish, an arm reaches over and opens the door. The camera pans across the bathroom. We see Grandpa drying his hands with towels. Camera pans back across bathroom, but stops at the toilet.)

(We then look at Tommy's eyes, then pull back real quickly to show that he is looking at the toilet, which is still in the process of flushing.)

(Tommy crawls towards the toilet. As he's about to touch it, Grandpa picks him up.)

Grandpa: Hold on there, little fella! This is no place for you!

(Grandpa carries Tommy out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, where Stu, Didi and two guests were talking over dinner.)

Stu: (off camera, to guests) I figure another couple of months until Tommy starts talking...

Grandpa: Hey, Stu, I found your boy about to go sage belly in the water closet.

Stu: Oh, thanks, pop.

(Cut to playpen in the living room.)

Stu: (off camera, to Grandpa) Just sit Tommy down with Phil & Lil.

(Grandpa sets Tommy down in the playpen, next to Phil & Lil. Tommy crawls to his star ball, then rolls on it, jingling as he goes.)

(Grandpa goes back to the kitchen. Once he's out of earshot. Tommy starts talking to Phil & Lil.)

Tommy: Hey, guess what just happened? I heard this noise from Grandpa's stinking room, so I snuck in there, and you know what I saw?

Phil & Lil: What?

Tommy: There's A big, white thing in there!

Phil & Lil: What is it?

Tommy: I don't know, but it burped at me.

Phil: Oh, is that the thing I saw the dog drinking out of? I thought it was a big water dish.

Tommy: I don't know.

Lil: I think it's a fish bowl.

Phil: A fish bowl? There's no fish in that thing, Lilian!

Lil: I saw something swimming around in there, Phillip!

Tommy: I think... it's alive.

(Phil & Lil looked a little puzzled.)

Tommy: Like a person, maybe when it was burping, it was trying to talk to me. Tonight, I'm gonna go back in there.

(Fade to black.)

(Fade to the house exterior at nighttime.)

(Cut to Tommy's crib. Tommy is all tucked in, in his crib, while Stu and Didi get him ready for bed.)

Didi: Sleep tight, sweetie.

(Didi kisses Tommy.)

Stu: Goodnight, champ.

(Didi gives Tommy his bottle. As Tommy sucks on it, Didi imitates the sucking a little bit, then makes a face at Tommy. Stu starts the musical mobile that hangs over Tommy's crib. Stu & Didi, then, leave. Tommy closes his eyes as Didi returns to the crib.)

Didi: (voice only, whispering) I think he's asleep.

Stu: (voice only) Yeah.

Didi: (voice only, whispering) Come on, let's go.

Stu: (voice only) Okay.

(While Tommy's eyes are still closed, they leave, closing the door behind them.)

(Shortly afterward, he opens his eyes, noticing that they're gone, and the room is dark. Tommy stops the mobile. He grabs his screwdriver, which was hidden underneath his teddy bear. He uses it to open the latch to his crib, and after the crib opens, he climbs out. He opens the door, and walks slowly to the bathroom.)

(When he got there, he opened the bathroom door, and saw the toilet with a sense of awe. He walks slowly to the toilet; when he got there, he knocked on the bowl.)

Tommy: Is anybody home?

''(No answer, of course, Then, Tommy notices the toilet's silver handle, the flusher. Tommy goes to the toilet plunger and climbs up on its handle. He jumps on to the seat, and sees a reflection of himself. He screams. So that he won't fall in, he grabs the flusher, which causes the toilet to flush. Still scared, he grabs the towels, which he unwittingly flushes down the toilet. He, then, lands on a mounted roll of toilet paper, which unravels as he runs on it. Then, he grabs the plunger handle and jumps to the sink, where he turns on the faucet, startling him. Then he leaned on the plunger back towards the toilet, where he got his head covered in toilet paper. At this point, the toilet is overflowing. He then climbs back onto the sink, grabbing on a tube of toothpaste; its cap pops off, ricocheting off a wall and hitting a container of bubble bath, which falls into the filled sink. As a result, bubbles are made. The toothpaste falls off the counter, spilling its contents onto the floor.)''

(Spike, then, waltzes in. Tommy jumps on Spike's back. Spike takes a quick drink out of the overflowed toilet before they leave.)

(Cut to a darkened living room, where Grandpa is watching a fishing program. Tommy, plunger in hand, rides Spike into the living room. They sit next to Grandpa, who then scratches Spike's head.)

(Cut back to the TV, where the fishing show breaks for a chicken commercial.)

Chareen: (on TV) Hi, I'm Chareen from Squeaky Chicken Restaurants.

(Cut back to Grandpa, who gets up from his chair to, shall we say, "take care of personal business".)

Chareen: (voice only, on TV) Want to know what we got in store for you? Our new Chicken Half-Pounder!

Grandpa: Well, nature beckons.

Chareen: (voice only, on TV) The other guys only give you a third of a pound in their chicken sandwich, and, yeech, that's without Squeaky's special sauce. So come on in now and try our new Chicken Half-Pounder! It's more chickenny! And for a limited time only--

(As the commercial continues, Tommy puts the spent toilet paper and the plunger aside. Grandpa, meanwhile, offstage, gets a surprise of his life.)

(Spike yawns)

Grandpa: (voice only) Jumpin' Jehpusuphat, Stu, Didi, Call that plumber quick!

Stu: (voice only) Don't panic, You call that plumber quick!

Didi: (voice only) Oh, look at that.

Stu: (voice only) What is that?! Where's that coming from?!

Didi: (voice only) Oh, my!

(Grandpa, Stu, and Didi have a great fight.)

Didi: (voice only) Calm down! I'm sorry, It's not my responsible-- right now. Calm down! Stu, you don't do anything! Augh! What? You calm down! That's enough!

(As Grandpa, Stu, and Didi panic, argue, and fight over the big mess in the bathroom, Tommy switches channels, from the commercial (where Chareen was holding what seems to be a gallon-sized fountain drink) to a rock music program. Tommy and Spike sway to the music as the camera pulls away from the TV and the scene fades to black.)

(The grown-ups continue to bicker as the credits start rolling.)