Chuckie's in Love/Transcript

Angelica: [is following Pepe, the lunch chef, with a pencil and notepad] You can't duck me, Pepe! And you can't stop me from finding out why your weird food tastes so... weird!

Pepe: [grabs a sandwich] Look; sniff, taste. Food no weird!

Angelica: [glances at the sandwich] Right. Who doesn't love the traditional peanut butter and corn beef? [writes on her notepad] It's weird!

Pepe: [makes a realization, and facepalms] Stupid Pepe! I forget the olive! [adds a toothpick with an olive from his uniform pocket to the sandwich] There! Now, no weird!

[Angelica is still unimpressed]

Intro

[Back from commercial break, Angelica is studying the food, now in the cafeteria]

Pepe: Why you care, little angry girl?! No one else do! [gestures to the students in line, including Tommy, Chuckie, and Phil]

Angelica: [walks back in the kitchen, still investigating] Actually, I don't. But as the school paper's newest ace reporter, my first story's gotta be spectacular. And I smell an exposé cooking, and it's in your kitchen.

Tommy: [turns to Phil] Poor guy. [We see Chuckie staring dreamily]

Phil: I remember a day when that was us.

Tommy: Don't you mean like, yesterday?

Angelica: Tuna and prunes?! Why not just make noodles out of fruit jerky? [closes the door, as Pepe fusses]

Pepe: I don't...!

Chuckie: [sighs dreamily] Ohh. She's the prettiest, smartest, funniest girl in school. [Tommy and Phil react with shock behind him]

Tommy: Angelica?!

Phil: Step back! I think his hormones just kicked in.

Chuckie: No, Nicole Boscarelli! [Angelica walks away to reveal Nicole sipping from a straw in a cup] She's the perfect combo of smart, and cool.

Tommy: Why don't you go say hi, or something?

Chuckie: Are you kidding?! She probably doesn't even know I exist.

Tommy: Come on, Chuckie; don't be so hard on yourself. You're... cool. Right, Phil?

Phil: [grabs a small sandwich] Boy, one thing in life I thought I can count on was that grilled cheese had... cheese. [turns to Tommy] You say somethin'? [follows him and Chuckie]

Pepe: [walks out of the kitchen and to Angelica, holding a tray] You, wrong. Observe and watch. [turns to the other students] Who would like to experience my relish and anchovy aspic?

Phil: [picks his nose for a second] Even I'm afraid of that.

Chuckie: Sounds good to me! [takes one of the plates from the tray, only for Nicole to swipe it without realizing he was holding it]

Nicole: Yum! [sets the plate on her tray, and walks away]

Chuckie: Ugh, knew it. I'm invisible to her. I'm just a jellyfish with legs. [sits on a swivel chair at a table] Invisible Jellyfish Finster.

Tommy: Just talk to her! Let your true personality shine through! How can she not like you?

Chuckie: What am I supposed to say?

Phil: How about "Hi, I'm Chuck! And you just grabbed my aspic". Better think fast.

Chuckie: [panics] Oh no!

Tommy: [hushed tone] It's your chance to prove you exist!

Chuckie: [now determined] You're right, Tommy. I'm gonna be visible, easy to see, big print Finster!

Nicole: Is this chair taken? [Tommy shakes his head, while Phil nods, so she drags the chair away with Chuckie still in it]

Angelica: [typing on her laptop] So "Fruit Surprise" equals prunes, and the only mystery to the meat is which derby it ran. My advice to you is to just say "Whoa!" to Pepe and his pukey courses.

Ms. O'Keats: [walks up to her table] Angelica, I see you're hard at work on your article.

Angelica: [annoyed at the interruption] I'm typing here!

Ms. O'Keats: Oh, don't want to squelch the creative process. And remember, so many great writers started by... writing. [starts reciting a poem] Fragile souls, mining the torment of their darkest days, so we might joyfully read their depressingly tragic tales.

Angelica: [feigns being emotionally moved] You oughta write Christmas jingles.

Ms. O'Keats: Really? Perhaps I shall dip my quill into the inkwell of my Christmases past. ''[twirlingly walks away, chuckling. as Angelica groans in annoyance]''

[Scene: Kimi's bedroom]

Kimi: [talking on a house phone with Lil, wandering her room] Oh Lil, I promised Dad I'd do Java Lava duty this week. [flops on her bed to lay on her stomach] I know it's a record signing. [rolls over on her back] I know it's the Sulky Boys; I just totally spaced.

Chuckie: [knocks on the open door, and walks in the room] Knock knock. [Kimi sits up on the bed] Kimi, pretend you're a girl. [She reacts with slight surprise] Does my image scream "dork"?

Lil: [from the phone] Yes!

Kimi: No! Hang on, Lil. [sets the phone down] Chuck, you're definitely not a dork.

Chuckie: [perks up] So, I'm cool then?

Kimi: Let's not get delirious. You're about a quarter 'til cool.

Chuckie: [his hopes drop] I knew it. I need your help, Kimi; there's this girl I like...

Kimi: Say no more. You just need a little tweaking here, a little sprucing there...

Chuckie: It's Nicole Boscarelli.

Kimi: [picks up the phone] Lil, get over here. We've got us a project.

Chuckie: Thanks, Kimi. I owe you one.

Kimi: [gets an idea from his offer] And a way for us to see the Sulky Boys. Okay, bye. [hangs up the phone, then walks to Chuckie] First thing we do is change your look. Then we work on that noise you make.

Chuckie: [sniffles noisily] What noise?

Kimi: Your voice.

[In the school hallway, Chuckie is now in a funky disguise, complete with a ushanka hat and round sunglasses, walking down the hall with Kimi and Lil observing]

Chuckie: [speaking in a French accent] Hey, I'm a quarter past cool now, no? [trips, and falls on the floor]

Lil: No.

Kimi: [comes to his aid] But you're getting there. [helps Chuckie stand up]

Chuckie: [normal voice] It's no use, guys. No matter how much you dress me up, I'm still gonna pull a Chuckie.

Kimi: Then forget Chuckie for now. Here's your chance to be someone new.

Chuckie: I don't know, guys. It'll never... [stops upon seeing Nicole in front of him, and speaks with the accent again, feeling nervous] Ha-llo! I am Chongo! And I am happy to be in your country!

Nicole: [speaking slowly and clearly] So you're an exchange student? Where are you from?

[Chuckie glances back and forth in a panic]

Kimi: He's from, Latvia.

Nicole: Where's that?

Lil: Next to Flatvia, duh!

Chongo (Chuckie): Yes, it is summer there now.

[The bell rings]

Nicole: Gotta go! [runs, but stops by "Chongo"] Nice to meet you, Chongo.

Chongo (Chuckie): [kisses her hand formaly] The pleasure is all mine.

[A lovestruck Nicole walks backwards dreamily, until she bumps into the lockers, then walks away]

Chuckie: [turns to Kimi and Lil] [normal voice] Latvia?

Kimi: Chongo?

Chuckie: Rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?

[Angelica is in the cafeteria when a boy at a table catches her attention]

Boy: Hey, Angelica. Thanks for warning us about the funky cafeteria food. [This catches Pepe's attention] I'm bringing my own lunch from now on. [holds up a lunch bag]

Angelica: I'm only here to help. [turns to see Pepe in front of her]

Pepe: Help to what?! Ruin Pepe?!

[A girl walks up to them, holding a lunch bag]

Girl: Great article, Angelica! Thanks!

[Pepe sees that all the students had lunches brought from home, and the cashier was reading a magazine; he runs in the kitchen, crying]

Angelica: I do have the power to change the world.

[Chuckie, now in his normal clothes, and Kimi walk in the cafeteria with lunch bags, where he nervously waves at Nicole when she walks by, but she doesn't notice him]

Chuckie: What do I do? What do I say? Where's Chongo when I need him?

Kimi: In a paper bag in your locker.

[Outside, Chuckie is now Chongo, as he waits at the flag pole, until Nicole approaches him]

Chongo (Chuckie): I am afraid I did not catch your name at our last... encounter.

Nicole: Oh, it's uh, uh, Nicole. ''[fingers her "N" necklace pendant, then takes his arm as they walk to the soccer field. When Chuckie sees Tommy and Phil, he panics and clumsily dances with Nicole, in an attempt to keep her from seeing them]'' Is this some Latvian folk dance?

Chongo (Chuckie): Oh! Oh oh, no, no, no! I cannot be seen, because I uh, would no longer be uh, unseen by uh, the people who would um, see me.

Nicole: Oh, wow. You're so mysterious. [sees two girls walk by] Could you hold this for a sec? [gives "Chongo" her backpack] I'll be right back. [heads off to the two girls]

Phil: [accidentally kicks the soccer ball over the fence, and Chuckie picks it up] Whoa! When Lil said "new look"...

Tommy: So you're Moscow meets Miami in Tahiti man?

Chuckie: [pushes his sunglasses up] [normal voice] Pretty cool, huh? [tries to throw the ball back to the other side of the fence]

Phil: Uh yeah, but aren't the circus people gonna miss their clothes?

Chuckie: Say what you want, but Nicole really likes Chongo. [keeps trying to throw the ball back]

Tommy/Phil: Chongo?

Tommy: Gimme a break. You don't need to all this phony stuff to get Nicole's attention.

Chuckie: Yes I do, Tommy. Let's face it; Chuckie's boring, and Chongo's exciting, and... mysterious. He's got it goin' on! You think Chuck could pull off holding this girly, daisy bag?

Phil: [shrugs] When he's right, he's right.

Chuckie: This is the smartest thing I ever did. Nicole likes me now.

Tommy: No she doesn't; she likes Cheese-o.

Chuckie: It's Chongo! And it's working! [finally throws the ball over the fence] And I'm tired of being boring Chuckie!

Phil: Boring? You're an accident magnet! That's fun to watch.

Chuckie: Guys! Chongo's the man!

Tommy: Earth to Chuck! There is no Chongo!

Chuckie: There is to Nicole. [turns to see her talking to her two friends]

Nicole: I really like him, and I think he likes me too.

Tommy: For what? A-a day? Then what?

Phil: And how long you think you can pull this off, before Chuckie bubbles back to the surface?

Tommy: Besides, since when is Chuckie Finster a liar?

Chuckie: Since it's working for me! And anyway, who says she has to find out? No one, that's who! Right?

[Tommy and Phil stay quiet]

Nicole: Sorry I took so long! [Chuckie quickly lowers his sunglasses, and gives her bag back] So, are these your friends?

Chongo (Chuckie): [with accent] Them? No, no, not at all. [walks away with Nicole] I do not even know them.

[Tommy kicks the ball angrily, as Phil frowns]

[In the hallway, Chuckie is now with Kimi in his normal clothes]

Chuckie: After school, Chongo's taking Nicole on an international adventure.

Kimi: [uneasy] Oh, really?

Chuckie: Oh yeah. We're gonna eat our way through the food court at the mall.

Kimi: News flash, Chuckie-Chongo! We made a deal: You're taking over my shifts at the Java Lava, remember?

Chuckie: But, but Teriyaki Terrace is calling our names!

Kimi: Yeah, well the Sulky Boys are calling mine and Lil's. Sorry Chuckie, but a deal's a deal.

Chuckie: This means after school, I'll have only like, 5 minutes to become Chongo, then-then 15 to hang with Nicole, then another 5 to become Chuck the smoothie slave! [grips his hair stressfully]

Kimi: Yeah... well, good luck. [walks away, as Chuckie sighs in despair]

[Angelica is in the cafeteria, typing some more, when Ms. O'Keats approaches her]

Ms. O'Keats: Angelica, you've inspired the yule log within me. [blows on a small instrument, then starts to sing] I wanted a puppy, with cute little paws. I wrote a long letter to dear Santa Claus. [Angelica groans] I woke with such joy, and ran to the tree, and stepped on my puppy; now he's history. [Angelica walks away in the middle, and Ms. O'Keats eventually notices]

[Angelica encounters Pepe once again]

Pepe: Okay, Miss Little Angry, you win. Lucky for you, I need this job! I'll serve your boring, bleh-bleh food! I produce your cheese and macaroni! I'll conquer your sloppy joe!

Angelica: Great; now put your oven mitt where your mouth is. [walks away with pride]

["Chongo" and Nicole are at an outdoor study hall table]

Nicole: Just you and the shark? Wow!

[Tommy and Phil walk outside]

Phil: Whoa. [points to them for Tommy to see] If it isn't Congo the gag-nificent.

Tommy: It's Chongo. I can't believe Chuckie's still doing this.

Phil: No way it can end pretty.

Tommy: Like, when she finds out, and he gets dumped?

Nicole: [dreamily] Your life is so fascinating.

Chongo (Chuckie): Yes, I can spend hours telling you about it, sitting in this very spot. [sees Tommy and Phil approaching them, and panics] D'oh, but not here, or now! [grabs her hand, and runs away with her frantically]

[Tommy and Phil stop, and watch]

Phil: Boy, I hope I never get that crazy over a girl.

Tommy: If that's what being 11's all about, I'm clinging to 10 'til I'm 40.

["Chongo" and Nicole are now in the cafeteria]

Chongo (Chuckie): And that's when I was able to bring the ship through the almost perfect storm, and save the crew!

Nicole: Boy! My life hasn't been early as glamourous. I'm originally from...

[Chuckie's watch beeps, indiciating his need to head for the Java Lava]

Chongo (Chuckie): [is now frantic] Uh, yes, yes, you can tell me all about it the next time we meet. Right now I have places to see, and peoples to go. [quickly kisses her hand] Achoo! [Nicole frowns in confusion] I mean ciao! [quickly makes his way, as she looks disappointed]

Pepe: She say Pepe no can cook bleh-bleh food. I show her! I can cook the bleh-bleh blindfolded! [grabs a green cloth from the counter, and ties it over his eyes] As a fact of matter, I do this! ''[He cracks an egg, only for it to land on his shoe, and he mistakenly cooks the shells in a pot. He then grabs a jug of dish soap and squirts it into the pot]''

''[Chas and Betty are working at the Java Lava. Betty lugs a large sack of coffee beans on the counter, knocking over a tower of muffins that Chas had assembled]''

Chas: Uh, Betty?

Betty: Lay off, Chas. I'm in no mood. [fans her face with her hand, the other pulling at her shirt collar] Holy Hannah, is it hot in here, or...?

Chas: It's you; again.

Betty: Look Chas, every time I get a little warm, it doesn't mean... [the hot flash takes over] Whoa, incoming! [runs to the ice machine, and dunks her head in the ice]

[Chuckie comes dashing in the cafe in his normal clothes, plus his disguise sunglasses, puts his bag with is disguise in the cabinet, and ties his apron, out of breath]

Chuckie: Hi, Dad! Reporting for duty. Oh, hi Betty.

Betty: [still in the ice machine] Hiya, Chuck.

Chas: [tries to compliment him] Cool shades, uh dude, uh meister. [Chuckie realizes that he was still wearing his sunglasses, so he replaces them with his eyeglasses] Glad you're here, Chuck. I've gotta run to the store for more straws. We're almost out of bendies. I'm not sure how long Betty will be under this time, so I need you to hold down the fort. [heads out the door]

Betty: [leans back out of the ice machine, with some cubes on her face] I heard that! [heads for the storage area to the back of the building] If you need me, I'll be back out unloading beans.

''[Chuckie starts wiping the counter, when Nicole comes in. In a panic, he ducks down behind the counter, so his knees are to his chest]''

Nicole: [walks up to the counter] Hello? Anyone here?

Chuckie: [stands up, holding a fruit basket to hide his face] Uh, welcome to the Lava Java; can I help you?

Nicole: I've passed this place a hundred times; finally decided to come in. What do you recommend?

Chuckie: [sets the basket on the counter, still hiding his face] Well, my specialty is a pineapple coconut orange banana smoothie.

Nicole: Yum, that sounds great!

Chuckie: Coming right up. ''[puts the ingredients in a blender, and accidentally turns it on without the lid, making her giggle, but he quickly closes it. He turns it off after 2 seconds.]''

Nicole: Don't I know you from somewhere?

Chuckie: Uh, kinda. We-we shared a relish and anchovy aspic the other day.

Nicole: We did?

Chuckie: Well actually, you swiped it out of my hand.

Nicole: Really? Sorry! Sometimes I start thinking about stuff, and I just space out. Anyway, I just love fish and relish.

Chuckie: Huh, me too! [accidentally pours some smoothie on the counter, and quickly moves back to he cup]

Nicole: We're probably the only two at school who do.

Chuckie: [sets the filled cup on the counter] Yeah.

Nicole: [sips the smoothie] Mmm, this is awesome! [Chuckie smiles modestly] Hey, I'm surprised we haven't met before.

Chuckie: Uh, me too. [smiles sheepishly, and backs away nervously]

Nicole: Hey, do you know Chongo?

Chuckie: [accidentally knocks over the blender pitcher, but grabs onto it, unaware that his apron was snagged in] D'ooh! Uh, Chongo? Uh, no! Ne-never heard of him! [accidentally turns on the blender, so he's stuck]

Nicole: He's the new kid at school. [Chuckie tries to pull himself free] We're kind of hanging out; and he's so cool.

Chuckie: Uh huh!

Nicole: Even though he's so young, he's already done so much. [Chuckie continues to struggle] Like he once wrestled an alligator.

Chuckie: Uh, sounds dangerous. [He falls back when his aprons tears]

[Later]

Nicole: Y'know, you're really a great listener. [Chuckie smiles with hope] With Chongo, I do all the listening, 'cause y'know, he's got so much to say.

Chuckie: [sarcastically] Yeah, he sounds like a great guy.

Nicole: Hmm, yeah. Hey, maybe we should talk again sometime.

Chuckie: [eager] Really?! [changes his tone to chill] I mean, uh, that'd be cool.

Nicole: Sorry I hogged up your time.

Chuckie: Oh, it's okay. My time is hoggable. ''[He sighs dreamily as Nicole heads out, and he leans on the counter, but the folding piece collapses under him, so he falls to the floor. A cup of smoothie tips over, and spills on his head, but he still has a lovesick smile]''

[In the cafeteria, Angelica, now wearing a lab coat and safety glasses, studies the new food Pepe made, her using a magnifying glass]

Angelica: It looks normal; how's it taste?

Boy: What are my options?

Pepe: A blanket for the pig, sticks of fish, loaf of meat...

Angelica: [now fed up with the boy's hesitation] Oh brother! Just put a spork in it, and start eating!

Boy: [eats a sporkful of macaroni and cheese as everyone watches in anticipation, then swallows, and takes 2 more bites] Wow! It's like, normal!

[Pepe gives Angelica a smug grin]

Angelica: [observes the boy licking the spork with satisfaction] 4 bites, and he's still standing. I hereby declare this food weird free and edible! ''[the students cheer as they bombard the counter. Angelica watches with a proud smile.]''

[In the hall, Chuckie comes up to Tommy in excitement, as the latter is at his locker]

Chuckie: Tommy, you are not gonna believe this!

Tommy: [still scornful] I'm sorry, have we met?

Chuckie: Very funny. [follows Tommy when he walks away] But you know what? You were right! I hung out with Nicole as Chuck yesterday. We talked for a real long time, and it felt great!

Tommy: Ohh, you mean Mr. Boring wasn't boring? So it's adios to Chongo? [now hopeful]

Chuckie: Oh, well um, no. 'Cause Chongo's kinda like my security blanket. He gives me confidence with Nicole. I think I'm a better me 'cause of him.

Tommy: [now angry again] Yeah, well guess what? You're not. You're lying through your braces. [Chuckie frowns guiltily] You're like, hiding from your friends, and worst of all, you're dissing my best bud: You. There's nothing wrong with Chuck, so lose this Smongo-Chongo, and tell Nicole the truth.

Chuckie: [gives in] Okay, okay! I know you're right! [they walk in the boys' restroom] It's just... oh, you are right. [stops at the faucets] Living a lie is wrong. [reaches into his backpack] Not to mention a lot of work. I'm gonna tell her. [puts his hat on, then exits the restroom after he's back in his disguise] This is the last you'll ever see of Chongo.

Tommy: Right on.

Chuckie: From now on, it's pure Chuck! [walks away, bumping into a locker] [Now outside, he puts on his accent before he approaches Nicole, who looks upset] Uh, I am sorry I'm late, but I have got...

Nicole: Chongo, sometimes people can be such fakes! [she jumps down on the ground, as Chuckie feels nervous] I just found out Megan Jansen has been totally lying to me, pretending to like me, when it was just some sick joke with her, and her real friends!

Chongo (Chuckie): Oh, this is a most terrible country! I must leave at once! [He tries to run off, but Nicole grabs his hand, and pulls him back]

Nicole: Chongo, I want you to meet a friend of mine. He can be your friend too. You'll really like him; he's sweet, and kind, and totally real.

Chongo (Chuckie): I am not sure if I should meet somebody new.

Nicole: And he makes a great smoothie. Come on, let's go meet my new friend, Chuck. [pulls him offscreen]

[In the cafeteria, Angelica is smiling smugly at Pepe, who notices after serving a student]

Pepe: So, Miss Angry Little Know-It-Some, I suppose I must thank you. Everyone seems to like my bleh.

Angelica: It took the power of my hard-hitting article to set things right. It's not every reporter who's willing to take on "The Man" in the kitchen. [to the students] Remember, I am responsible for making this food normal! [A boy throws up on the floor close by, making her scream in disgust]

Pepe: Maybe boy eat too much. [many of the students start retching] So did she... and she... and he... and him.

Girl: At least the weird food didn't make us puke! [throws up]

Boy: [to Angelica] Your dumb article did this! You should get canned!

Pepe: No, no. It just took the bleh bleh to show Little Miss Angry here, she was wrong...

Angelica: Huh?

Pepe: So now, she write new story to say "Pepe's food no weird"! Right?

Students: [chanting, as they advance on Angelica] Pepe's food no weird! Pepe's food no weird! Pepe's food no weird!

[At the Java Lava, Betty comes in to see Chas crying]

Betty: Something wrong, Chassy?

Chas: Yes, Betty. Instead of onions, pineapples make me cry. [blows his nose]

Betty: Well, you're right. That's wrong.

[Nicole comes in with "Chongo", who turns away from Chas]

Chas: Oh, my son has sunglasses just like those.

Chongo (Chuckie): [out of breath] Ohh.

Nicole: I'm sure he's here somewhere.

Chongo (Chuckie): Um, maybe he's back in the bathroom; I'll go check. [rushes into the storage room, where he starts to change, only to be busted by Betty, who doesn't realize its him]

Betty: Hey! Does this look like a locker room to you?

Chuckie: Betty, it's me. I've been pretending to be somebody different, so that a girl would like me, but now she wants the fake me to meet the real me, and the real me can't tell her that I'm the fake me!

Betty: Ah, boy. Kinda like how Howie wore fake muscles on our first date. [notices Chuckie struggling with his shirt] Hah, Howie's got stuck on his head too. [starts to help him]

Chuckie: [rushes back out to Nicole, now in his normal clothes, to the computers where she waited; he runs over, but falls to the floor, and pushes him up] Hi, Nicole. How's it going?

Nicole: Great! I want you to meet Chongo. He just went in the bathroom.

Chuckie: Oh! [chuckles nervously, unintentionally revealing the hoop earring for his disguise still on his ear]

Nicole: I didn't know you wore an earring. [stands up for a closer look] Hey, it's just like the one that...

Chuckie: [quickly moves away, so she almost loses her balance, and heads for the back room, covering the earring] Uh, so, where's this Chongo? I can't wait to meet him! In fact, I'll go back in there, and get him now! [rushes through the door, as Chas blows his nose again]

Betty: [has finished helping Chuckie in his disguise] Call me wacko, but this may not work out for you long term.

Chuckie: I'd settle for the next 5 minutes. [is now out of breath from hurriedly changing, his shirt on backwards and his sunglasses crooked]

Nicole: What happened to Chuck? And what happened to you?

Chongo (Chuckie): Uh, Chuck's back there; we really hit it off. In fact, we had a friendly wrestling match. That's why I look like this. Uh, zees!

[Tommy and Phil enter the cafe]

Tommy: What're you doing here?

Nicole: I thought you said you didn't know these guys, Chongo.

Chongo (Chuckie): Oh, these guys! I thought you meant those other guys.

Tommy: We're here for Chuck. Seen him? [smiles smugly]

Phil: Yeah, he's missing the barf-o-thon of the century.

Chongo (Chuckie): Then let me go get him!

Tommy: [grabs his wrist to stop him] No, you stay here. I'll go get him.

Chongo (Chuckie): [forcefully] No! I go! [rushes into the back room, and Tommy and Phil follow him]

Betty: [pulls the scrunchie out of Chuckie's hair] Let's go, go, go! [Tommy and Phil enter the room] I got caught up in the intrigue.

Tommy: Chuckie, you've gotta come clean. She's totally suspicious. If she finds out before you tell her, you're doomed.

Phil: And gossip roadkill for like, a decade.

Chuckie: But I'm trapped! She hates phonies; which is what both of me are!

[Nicole bursts in, to everyone's surprise, and she is shocked and betrayed]

Nicole: I can't believe it!

Betty: Come on, you two. [guides Tommy and Phil out of the room] These uh, three need to be alone.

Nicole: You're Chongo?! How could you?!

Chuckie: I can explain.

Nicole: You don't have to; I get it.

Chuckie: You do?

Nicole: Yeah, you're just another phony!

Chuckie: No I'm not! Okay, maybe this once, but I'm not usually. It's just you didn't notice me before, so I figured maybe you would if I was someone more exciting than boring ol' Chuckie; and you did. I, I just wanted you to see me.

Nicole: But I told you; sometimes when I'm thinking, I don't notice lots of things. You were just one of those things. And FYI, you're not boring. [Chuckie smiles with hope] Klutzy maybe, but not boring, and sweet! But you lied to me!

Chuckie: So, I guess you probably don't want to hang out anymore, huh?

Nicole: Well, let's just say it's gonna take a long time. [sighs at seeing him looking guilty, and helps him stand up] And a lot of smoothies to win my trust back, Chuck. If that is your real name?

Chuckie: [now excited] Really? Wow! Okay, okay, we'll start right now. One pineapple coconut banana smoothie coming up! ''[walks out to the dining area, where Chas is still crying. Phil sneaks into the back room]''

Chas: Oh, hi Chuckie.

Chuckie: Uh, Dad? This is my good friend Nicole.

Chas: [sobs loudly] Pleasure's all mine. [blows his nose]

Phil: [comes out wearing Chuckie's sunglasses and open shirt, a toilet seat protector on his shoulders, and toilet paper on his head, and holding a plunger] 'Allo, I am Phongo. Where I come from, toilets flush the other way.

Betty: No, where you're from, they sometimes don't get flushed at all. [waves her hand in front of her face]

Nicole: [giggles] You guys are funny.

Tommy: Ha! Especially Chuck. [laughs] He's a riot when you get to know 'im. One time, he...

Chuckie: Let me tell it! You see, one time, Tommy, Phongo, and I had to spend an entire night locked in the post office. And um, we were so hungry, we licked the glue off all the stamps. And, and it's like, my stomach was...