The Turkey Who Came to Dinner/Transcript

[The episode begins with a view of a sepiatone map as an illustration of The Mayflower sails across it.]
 * Didi (narrating): "The Pilgrims were people just like your mommies and daddies. A long time ago, they came here from far, far away."

[In the next scene, Pilgrim versions of Stu, Didi, Chas, Betty, Howard, Drew, Charlotte, Lou, Boris, and Minka are seen sitting in a table outside.]
 * Didi (narrating): "And today, Thanksgiving, is the day they pick to say 'thank you' for all the good things they had."

[''The camera moves past the adults, who are all talking indistinctly, until it reaches some tall grass. Native American versions of Tommy, Phil, and Lil emerge from the grass, the latter two carrying a basket filled with ears of corn.'']
 * Didi (narrating): "Like their family, and especially their new friends, the Native Americans, who helped them when things were really hard."

[''Tommy, Phil, and Lil all walk up to Didi. The latter two hand her their basket of corn.'']
 * Didi: "Oh, thank you!"

[''Didi hands Boris the corn, and the screen transitions to the next scene, where illustrations of the actual Pilgrims and Native Americans are shown. The camera zooms out, revealing Didi to have read the story to Tommy, Phil, and Lil, who are all wearing feathered headbands.'']
 * Didi (narrating): "So every year, we give thanks for our family and friends by getting together for a lovely dinner. There's corn and potatoes and stuffing and pie, and we always have a great big..."

[Before Didi can finish, she, Tommy, Phil, and Lil all turn their attention to Betty arguing with Charlotte in the kitchen.]
 * Betty (heard offscreen) "You want to put mustard on the turkey?"

[In the next scene, Howard is seen wearing an apron and stirring in the kitchen while Betty is arguing with Charlotte.]
 * Charlotte: "Well, that's better than slathering it in butter!"
 * Betty: "Mustard's for hot dogs, Charlotte! This isn't a cookout, it's Thanksgiving!"
 * Didi: "Oh, my. So, uh, that's the story of Thanksgiving! The end!"

[Didi closes the book and sets it down on the table.]
 * Didi: "Now, paint some more turkeys and I'll be right back."

[Didi walks towards the kitchen, when the doorbell rings.]
 * Stu: "Didi, could you get that?"

[Stu is revealed to be holding a satellite dish in his hands.]
 * Didi: "Oh!"

[''Didi walks towards the front door and opens it. Chuckie walks in.'']
 * Didi: "Hello, sweetie!"

[Chas grunts as he carries his television set in his arms and walks in.]
 * Chas: "Happy Thanksgiving, Didi! Where do you want the TV?"
 * Didi: "Just put it over there by the others."

[''Didi closes the door as Chas walks in. Chuckie walks towards the table, and Chas follows behind him. Boris is alseep on the couch, while Angelica is sitting in front of it. Chas sets his TV on top of several other TVs that are in a pile.'']
 * Stu (heard offscreen): "Hey, hey, Chas! Hi, Chuckie! Happy Thanksgiving!"

[''Stu is revealed to be holding a box of tools in his arms. Drew walks up to him, holding a satellite dish in his arms.'']
 * Stu: "Oh, boy! Once we get the satellite dishes up, we're gonna be in football heaven!"
 * Drew: "Come on, Chas, we got work to do!"

[Stu walks away, and Drew follows him.]
 * Chas: "Okay, little fella. Now, you go play with your friends, and daddy will be right outside."

[''Chuckie walks up to Tommy, Phil, and Lil, who are making pictures with the paint on their hands. He sits down at their table.'']
 * Chuckie: "Why do you guys have feathers on your heads?"
 * Tommy: "We're playing Nakie Americans! Here, you can be one, too!"

[Tommy picks up the feathered headband from the table and puts it on Chuckie's head.]
 * Chuckie: "Uh, do I gotta take my clothes off?"
 * Phil: "No, you just wear a feather and have a nice, big dinner!"

[Lil shows Chuckie the picture she, Tommy, and Phil made, with turkeys made from the paint from their hands.]
 * Lil: "And make turkeys!"
 * Tommy: "Cause' it's Hanksgiving!"
 * Chuckie: "Who's Hanks Giving?"
 * Tommy: "Oh ho! It's not a person, Chuckie! It's the day we have a big dinner with our fambily and friends, and member' how happy we are!"
 * Chuckie: "Uh, if you're sposed' to have dinner with your fambily, does that mean," (whispering in Tommy's ear) "We have to invite Angelica?"

[Tommy gasps in delight.]
 * Tommy: "Great idea, Chuckie!"

[Tommy walks towards Angelica, but Chuckie holds out his hand to try to stop him.]
 * Chuckie: "Uh, uh...."

[Tommy, Phil, and Lil all walk towards Angelica.]
 * Tommy: "Hey, Angelica! You want to come to our Hanksgiving dinner?"
 * Angelica: "Quiet! Can't you see I'm busy over here?"

[On the TV, two announcers named Frank and Shelley are in a podium, showing footage of a turkey balloon.]
 * Frank: "Well, Shelley, it wouldn't be Thanksgiving without a turkey, and here comes ours!"

[The camera zooms in on the turkey balloon.]
 * Shelley (heard offscreen): "Ho ho, that's right, Frank! Tom is there..."
 * Lil: "I don't think she wants to come!"
 * Tommy: "That's okay, we'll make our dinner and find some new friends to eat it with us! Come on!"
 * Chuckie: "Okay!"

[''Lil giggles as she, along with Tommy, Chuckie, and Phil, all walk back to the table. In the next scene, Howard is still stirring in the kitchen and humming as the camera moves over to Didi, Betty, Charlotte, and Minka.'']

Didi: "Please, everybody! We're only going to have one turkey, and we'll have to cook it together!"
 * Howard: "Well, where is the turkey, anyway?"

[Didi walks up to Howard.]
 * Didi: "Well, Lou said he was getting it, but he should have been here hours ago!"

[''The sound of the door opening and closing can be heard as the camera moves to the doorway. Lou walks in, holding some balloons in one hand, and a bag of groceries in the other. Didi walks up to him.'']
 * Didi: "Pop! Oh, I was starting to worry about you! Y-you did buy our turkey, didn't you?"
 * Lou: "I did better than that! I won a turkey!"

[''Lou lets go of his balloons, and they float upwards. He then reaches into his grocery bag and pulls out a trophy of a silver turkey.'']
 * Lou: It was the first prize of the Senior Center's Thanksgiving Cribbage Cavalcade!"
 * Minka: "So, Mr. Big River Boat Card Player, where is this miracle bird?"
 * Lou: "It's being delivered! They said it'd be here by four, at the latest!"
 * Didi, Betty, Charlotte, and Minka: "Four o' clock?"
 * Lou: "No need to thank me, ladies! Now, if you'll excuse me..."

[Lou tosses his trophy in the air, and catches it in his other hand.]
 * Lou: "I'm gonna go out and toss around the old pigskin with my boys!"

[Lou walks away.]
 * Betty: "Kids, we got ourselves an emergency here! If we don't get a bird in the oven pronto, we might as well call the whole deal off!"
 * Minka: "I think we'd better make a quick trip to the store!"
 * Betty: "So do I!" (pointing at Howard) "Howard, put down that ambrush and grab the keys, you're driving!"

[''Howard sets down his bowl and spoon and removes his apron. He, Charlotte, and Betty all walk away as Didi walks in.'']
 * Didi: "Stu, we'll be right back! Keep an eye on the kids, okay?"

[Stu is in the backyard, carrying a sattelite dish as he walks towards a ladder.]
 * Stu: "Sure thing, Deed!"

[''The camera moves back to Didi, who walks away. It then zooms in on Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil, who are at the table as Tommy sets a box of Reptar cereal on it.'']
 * Chuckie: "So, what's for dinner, Tommy?"
 * Tommy: "So far mostly, we got... Reptar cereal, and some... um..." (as he picks up a piece of Reptar Cereal) "Stuff. And... anybody got anything else?"

[Angelica continues watching the parade on TV as a turkey can be heard gobbling.]
 * Angelica: "Oh, Cynthia! Wasn't that beautiful?"
 * Tommy: "Angelica, you want to help us make our yummy dinner?
 * Angelica: "No! I don't want to help you make your stupid, baby make-believe dinner! I want to put on a parade!"
 * Chuckie: "A parade?"

[Angelica gets up and walks towards Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil.]
 * Angelica: "Sure! If Tracy can put on a parade, whoever she is, then so can I! And I'm going to have the biggest and bestest parade ever; Angelica's Thanksgiving Celebration of Angelica! And you babies are gonna help me!"

[Angelica knocks over a box of toys.]
 * Tommy: "Sorry, Angelica, but we have to make our dinner so we can say thank you for having good friends! Come on, you guys! I think I left some crackers under the couch."

[Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all walk away.]
 * Angelica: "Fine! I don't need a bunch of dumb babies to help me make my parade! You'd probably just mess it up anyway!"

[''Angelica picks up a toy pickup truck from the box. She then points at the babies.'']
 * Angelica: "And take off those feathers!"

[''In the next scene, which takes place in the backyard, Lou watches as Stu, Drew, and Chas are all on ladders, installing satellite dishes. The camera zooms in on Stu, Drew, and Lou.'']
 * Lou: "Hey!"

[Stu stumbles upon hearing Lou.]
 * Stu: "Whoa! Hey! Whoa!"

[''Stu nearly falls off the ladder, but Chas pushes him back up. The camera moves over to Lou.'']
 * Lou: "Who wants to play a little football?"
 * Stu: "Can't, Pop! We gotta get these dishes installed in the matrix by two o' clock!"
 * Drew: "We're gonna watch every game in the country!"
 * Lou: "So let me get this straight; you'd rather watch a football game than actually play one?"
 * Drew: "That's right!"
 * Stu: "You bet!"
 * Chas: "It's much safer!"

[''Chas doesn't hold the ladder steady, causing it to wobble. Stu and Drew scream as Stu falls over, knocking over the satellite dishes. Chas covers his eyes.'']
 * Stu: "Ow!"
 * Chas: "Oh, great!"

[The camera moves over to Lou.]
 * Lou: "I should have had girls!"

[''In the next scene, Tommy puts some pieces of Reptar cereal in his headband, then does the same with Phil's headband, until a knock at the front door is heard. In the next scene, the door is revealed to be ajar, and a Delivery Man is on the other side, holding a box with a label that says, LIVE POULTRY. He opens the door.'']
 * Delivery Man: "Excuse me."

[''The Delivery Man walks in. He, along with Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil, walk up to Boris, who is still asleep on the couch. The Delivery Man sets down the box with the live turkey, then taps on Boris' shoulder.'']
 * Delivery Man: "Scuse' me!"

[Boris wakes up and looks at the Delivery Man.]
 * Boris: "What? Can't you see a person sleeping here?"

[The camera moves over to Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil.]
 * Delivery Man: "Hey, look, I'm sorry to bother you, but I got a turkey here!"
 * Boris: "So? It's Thanksgiving! You should have a turkey!"

[The Turkey gobbles and moves inside the box, and Chuckie gasps.]
 * Delivery Man: "Where should I put this?"

[The Delivery Man picks up the box.]
 * Boris: "Well, where else does a turkey go on Thanksgiving? In the kitchen!"

[The Delivery Man carries the box into the kitchen.]
 * Delivery Man: "Thanks!"
 * Boris: "Young people, they don't know from nothing!"

[''Boris closes his eyes and goes back to sleep. The Delivery Man sets the box with the turkey down in the kitchen and walks away. Chuckie peers out the doorway and sees the Turkey moving and gobbling inside the box as Spike eats from his food bowl. He pants nervously as Tommy walks up to him, and points at the box.'']
 * Chuckie: "There's something in that box!"

[''Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all walk up to the box. Tommy knocks on the box.'']
 * Tommy: "Hello!"

[''The Turkey gobbles and moves inside the box. Tommy pulls on the ribbon above, opening the box, and the Turkey jumps out. Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all scream in fear as they see him, and run away. The Turkey looks over at Spike, who looks back at him. Spike sniffs, and the Turkey peers from behind the box. He looks over at spike, and hearts appear in his eyes, as he has a crush on Spike. Spike whimpers, then runs away in fear as the Turkey chases him out the open back door. The camera moves over to Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil, who are all peering out the doorway, and have witnessed the entire event.'']
 * Phil: "What was that?"
 * Tommy: "I think it was a turkey!"

[Spike barks and back away, whimpering nervously as the Turkey walks up to him.]
 * Phil: "Oh, yeah!"

[Chuckie pants nervously.]
 * Chuckie: "Are... are turkeys friendly?"
 * Tommy: "They has to be! My mom says they're a big part of Hanksgiving! I know! Let's ask him to come to our dinner!"
 * Chuckie: "I don't know! He's awful scary-lookin'!"

[As Tommy talks to Chuckie, the Turkey chases Spike, the latter of whom is whimpering, across the backyard.]
 * Tommy: "The Nakie Americans and the Penguins looked different, but they made friends! Come on, let's go get our dinner and eat outside like the Penguins in my mom's story!"

[''Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all walk away as the Turkey continues chasing Spike in the backyard. Stu, Drew, and Chas, having finally installed all the satellite dishes, all walk inside. Boris continues to sleep on the couch as Stu picks up one end of the table, and Drew picks up the other end.'']
 * Stu (straining): "Ugh! Ugh! Excuse me, Boris! I-I'm just gonna... move the TV!"
 * Drew (straining): "Ugh! We can watch the Dallas game on my set! It has the best color!

[As Stu and Drew walk up to Chas and set the table down in front of him, Chas picks up his TV set.]
 * Chas (straining): "Hey, you guys! You think we could use one of these TVs to watch the highlights of the parade?"

[''Stu and Drew stare in shock, realizing they completely forgot about the Thanksgiving parade. The camera moves down to Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil, who all walk outside. Lou looks down at the now-empty box that had the Turkey in it, and picks it up.'']
 * Lou: "Hmmm."

[In the next scene, the camera moves over from Stu, Drew, and Chas to Boris as Lou walks up to the latter, carrying the empty box.]
 * Lou: "Have you seen a turkey?"

[Boris wakes up.]
 * Boris: "A delivery man came a little while ago. I told him to put your turkey in the kitchen!"
 * Lou: "Well, it's not there now!"
 * Boris: "How could that be?"

(Lou walks up to Boris.)
 * Lou: "Because, Boris, my friend, this particular piece of poultry is alive! What do you say; you want to watch football, or do you want to hunt a little turkey?"

[Boris gets up from the couch.]
 * Boris: "Football? Hunting? Ay yi yi! But I'll help you look!"
 * Lou: "That's what I wanted to hear! He must be in this house somewhere!"

[''The camera moves over to the window, where in the backyard, Spike is being chased by the Turkey, who is being chased by Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil. In the next scene, Howard parks Betty's car outside a supermarket that says, SUPERAMA in yellow letters.'']
 * Charlotte (heard inside Betty's car): "Finally, one that's actually open!"

[In the next scene, Didi, Betty, Howard, Charlotte, and Minka all walk into the store.]
 * Betty: "Now, I know I've seen it somewhere..." (as she looks up and points at a sign that says, POULTRY, with an arrow pointing to the aisle) "Poultry! Back wall! Let's go, girls!"

[''Didi, Betty, Howard, Charlotte, and Minka all run under signs that say, LOW PRICES and BUY AND SAVE. They all gasp when they see the last frozen turkey in an otherwise empty freezer. Just then, a Lady in brown hair and a blue dress pushing a shopping cart turns the corner. She sees the turkey, then she and Betty stare angrily at each other.'']
 * Lady: "Hmmm..."
 * Betty: "Don't even think about it!"

[''The lady pants as she runs and pushes her shopping cart towards the turkey. Betty pants as she runs towards the turkey from the other end. Just as they both get to the turkey, the Lady pushes her shopping cart at Betty, knocking her into it.'']
 * Betty: Oh!"

[''The Lady picks up the turkey and runs away with it, laughing wickedly. Howard, Didi, Charlotte, and Minka all walk up to Betty, and Howard helps her back up.'']
 * Howard: "It was a good try, honey!"
 * Betty: "I could have taken her, Howard!"
 * Howard: "I know!"
 * Charlotte: "Well, now that Betty has experienced the agony of defeat, what do we do about a turkey?"
 * Didi: "Well, I'm sure if we all put our heads together..."
 * Betty: "Oh, sorry, Deed, but that 'one for all' stuff just ain't cuttin' it no more! Oh, from now on, I'm takin' care of my own! That means Betty DeVille is not leavin' this store empty-handed!"

[''Betty runs away. Howard looks at Charlotte, then runs after Betty. Charlotte looks over at Didi and Minka, and she and Minka run away, leaving Didi by herself. Didi sighs in disdain. In the next scene, which takes place in Tommy's backyard, the camera zooms in on the doorway as Angelica walks out, towing floats that she made from her toys and Lou's trophy. She looks over at Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil, who are all looking behind Spike's doghouse.'']
 * Angelica: "I don't need any stupid babies to help make my beautiful parade! I made the mostest perfect floats all by myself!"

[Angelica backs up, and loses her balance.]
 * Angelica: "Whoa!"

[''Angelica falls over, and lands on her floats, wrecking them. The camera moves down to her, revealing her to be tied up in the ribbon she used to decorate her floats.'']
 * Angelica: "Grrr!"

[''In the next scene, the camera zooms in on Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil. Spike whimpers as the Turkey looks at him. Spike woofs, and the Turkey gobbles at him.'']
 * Chuckie: "Wow! The Turkey sure likes Spike!"

[The camera moves down to Tommy, revealing him to be holding a box of Reptar cereal.]
 * Phil: "Go ahead, Tommy! Ask him to our dinner!"

[Tommy sets down his box of Reptar cereal and walks towards the Turkey.]
 * Tommy: "Ahem. Scuse' me, Mr. Turkey, um, we're all wondering..."

[''Before Tommy can finish, the Turkey gobbles and chases a whimpering Spike away. Angelica grunts as she tries to get out of the ribbon, and Spike and the Turkey run past her.'']
 * Angelica: "Aaaah!"

[''Angelica watches as the Turkey chases Spike. Amazed that there is a live turkey in her backyard, Angelica get up and follows the Turkey. Tommy grabs Spike's collar and holds Spike back. Spike whimpers as this happens.'']
 * Angelica: "What are you babies doing with that Turkey?"
 * Tommy: "We're trying to ask him to come to our dinner!"
 * Angelica: "Oh."

[Angelica looks back at the open doorway, then walks up to Tommy.]
 * Angelica: "He's coming to dinner, all right. He's gonna be dinner!"
 * Tommy: "But how can he be dinner if he's alive?"
 * Angelica: "He can't!"

[Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all gasp upon hearing this.]
 * Angelica: "Well, I'd better go tell the grown-ups he's out here, so they can cook him and eat him up!"
 * Tommy: "No, Angelica! He's our friend!"

[''As Tommy lets go of Spike's collar, Spike walks away. Tommy walks up to Angelica.'']
 * Tommy: "We're apposed' to say 'thank you' to our friends on Hanksgiving, not eat them!"

[The camera moves over to Chuckie, Phil, and Lil.]
 * Chuckie, Phil, and Lil: "Yeah!"
 * Angelica: "Well, I might keep him a secret, if you and your friends will help with my parade!"

[''Tommy looks over at the doorway and sees Lou and Boris looking for the Turkey. Lou picks up one of the Turkey's feathers. Tommy then looks over at Chuckie, Phil, and Lil, then back at Angelica. Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all reluctantly nod their heads, "Yes" in unison. They, and Angelica all walk away as the camera moves over to Spike's doghouse. The Turkey continues to chase a whimpering Spike, and the screen fades to black, ending the first act. In the second act, Cynthia is tied to Lou's balloons and is hoisted up. The camera moves from the float she is on, and past several other floats made from Angelica's toys, until it reaches the wagon. Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all grunt as they lift Lou's trophy and set it down in the wagon. Tommy walks up to Angelica, who is holding a pad of paper.'']
 * Tommy: "Okay, Angelica. We're all done."
 * Angelica: "Not yet, babies! We still have to put on the main attraption."

[Angelica looks over at the Turkey, whom Tommy walks up to.]
 * Tommy: "But, Angelica..."
 * Angelica: "Tommy, it's getting close to dinner time!"

[''Tommy turns to face the Turkey and gasps. The Turkey gobbles. In the next scene, which takes place on a football field, a referee blows his whistle, and Marshall the quarterback tosses the ball back to another football player. This is revealed to be one of the football games Stu and Drew are watching on one of their many TVs.'']
 * TV Announcer: "Marshall's back in the eye formation as he tries the sling back pass..."

[Just as several other football players tackle the football player, the channel suddenly changes to a nature documentary, which shows a wildebeest eating some grass in the African savannah.]
 * Nature Documentarist: "As we approach this magnificent beast..."

[''Chas is revealed to have changed the channel. Drew, realizing this, takes the remote from him and changes it back to the football game, which now shows a green blimp that says, REPTAR INC. flying above the stadium.'']
 * Chas: "Hey, I always watch that show!"
 * Drew: "It's Thanksgiving, Chas! You can't watch Nature documentaries on Thanksgiving!"
 * TV Announcer: "25, and the chase is on! 50! Whoa! Whoa!"

[''Chas, who is holding a MODERN CLOG DANCING magazine, angrily walks towards the chair and sits down in it. He opens his magazine and reads it. Many football games are shown on the pyramid of TV sets. In the next scene, which takes place in Tommy's backyard, the camera zooms in on Angelica, who is holding a hairbrush, which she is using as a microphone. Various stuffed animals, as well as Tommy, are revealed to be her audience. The camera focuses on Angelica as she walks past them.'']
 * Angelica: "It's Thanksgiving again, and time for the greatest Thanksgiving parade ever; Angelica's Thanksgiving Celebration of Angelica!"

[Chuckie is revealed to be holding back Spike, and Phil and Lil are revealed to be holding back the turkey, who has a ribbon tied around his neck.]
 * Angelica: "Let's start the parade with our bestest float; the Turkey!"

[The Turkey gobbles.]
 * Angelica: "Get movin', Chuckie!"

[''Chuckie wimpers nervously. He turns to face Spike, and grunts as he pulls on his collar. Spike whimpers as this happens. Phil and Lil pull the turkey, who is pulling the floats.'']
 * Angelica: "The Turkey float is followed by the Cynthia float, which is the bestest float in the world. Did I mention I made it all by myself?"

[''Angelica blinks repeatedly. Tommy, knowing that what she said is not true, glares angrily at her.'']
 * Angelica: "And here's the next float. It's called Everything that makes Angelica great!"

[''A blue pickup truck with a teddy bear and a sunflower moves past Tommy and Angelica. Chuckie trips over a rock and lets go of Spike, who whimpers.'']
 * Chuckie: "Ugh! Whoa! Ugh!"

[''Chuckie falls over. The Turkey gobbles, and Spike wimpers as he looks back at him. Spike runs away, and Phil and Lil let go of the ribbon around the Turkey's neck, causing the Turkey to chase Spike as he runs and gobbles, and pull the floats faster.'']
 * Angelica: "Hey, stop, you turkey! Aaaah!"

[''Angelica ducks, and Spike jumps over her. The Turkey runs into her.'']
 * Angelica: "Ugh!"

[''All the floats fly into Angelica. Tommy walks up to her.'']
 * Angelica: "Ohhh!"
 * Tommy: "Um, great parade, Angelica!"
 * Lil: "I thought it went on too long."

[Angelica pushes the wreck of her floats away.]
 * Angelica: "You did that on purpose, Chuckie Finster! You let Spike go so he'd ruin my beautiful parade!"

[Chuckie gets up and walks towards Angelica, who walks up to Tommy, Phil, and Lil.]
 * Angelica: "Just for that, I'm gonna tell everyone there's a turkey out here, and they're gonna eat him!"

[Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all gasp in fear upon hearing this.]
 * Angelica: "And I'm gonna help!"

[''Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all gasp in fear again. The next scene shows an overhead view of Tommy's house as the camera zooms in on it.'']
 * Lou: "Yep, after we landed in Normandy, I got lost in the French Wilderness for a week!"

[''Lou, who is now wearing an army helmet, picks up one of the Turkey's feathers. He then turns to face Boris.'']
 * Lou: "Didn't speak a word of parlez vous! By the time they found me, I could catch fifteen trout at a time with my bare hands!"

[''Lou opens the closet door, and finds what looks like the Turkey. However, when he pounces at it, the camera moves down to reveal it is actually a feather duster, which causes Lou to sneeze himself out of the closet. The feather duster lands on his head.'']
 * Boris: "So, I guess you weren't fishing in closets, huh?"

[''In the next scene, Stu and Drew are on the couch. Drew is holding the remote as Stu points at the pyramid of TV sets.'']
 * Stu: "Would you please turn down that game? I can't hear mine!"
 * Drew: "Hold on, hold on! I got it!"

[''Drew points his remote at the pyramid of TV sets. Angelica pulls his hand towards her.'']
 * Angelica: "Daddy!"
 * Stu (heard offscreen) "Not that one!"
 * Angelica: "Tommy has a real live Turkey, and I want to have it for dinner!"
 * Drew: "Not now, dear!"
 * Stu: "That one!"

[Drew points his remote at the pyramid of TV sets.]
 * Drew: "That's the one I'm pointing at, Stu!"

[Angelica angrily walks up to Stu and Drew.]
 * Angelica: "Daddy!"
 * Drew: "Princess, can't it wait?" [Angelica inhales and holds her breath, which quickly turns her face blue. Drew waves his hand at her to stop.]" Angel! No, do-don't, don't! You're killing brain cells! Angelica, stop! Mommy wants you to go to Harvard!" [Angelica exhales. Drew sighs as he gets off the couch, and Angelica grabs his hand to lead him into the kitchen.] "All right, what, uh, what-what were you saying, Princess?"

[Angelica points out the door.]
 * Angelica: "There's a turkey in the yard! A real, live turkey! Here, I'll show you!"

[''Angelica grabs Drew's arm, and they open the doors together. In the next scene, Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil are all standing with their arms crossed in front of a blanket, which covers a sleeping Spike (save for his head) and the Turkey. The camera moves to the left side, then to the right, then back to the left, until it stops at the babies. Angelica gives a blank stare, knowing her plan to expose the Turkey failed. Drew puts his hand on her head and crouches down to her level.'']
 * Drew: "Angelica, honey, Daddy has to go back inside and watch a very important football game! Okay?" [Drew stands back up.] But if you see the magic turkey again, just tell your mother."

[''Drew walks back into Tommy's house and pats Angelica, who is staring angrily, on her head. Angelica follows Drew in. The Turkey moves from under the blanket, which Chuckie now lifts up.'']
 * Chuckie: "Oh, we can't just keep hidin' him!"
 * Tommy: "You're right! We gotta get him out of the yard! I think he's a bird, maybe he can fly!"

[The turkey looks over at Tommy in question.]
 * Tommy: "Come on, everybody! Flap your arms! Show him how!"

[''The Turkey watches Tommy as he flaps his arms. Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all flap their arms, and all four babies giggle. They soon stop.'']
 * Tommy: "Please fly, Mr. Turkey! If you don't get out of our yard, the growed-ups are gonna eat you for dinner!"
 * Chuckie: "Hey, maybe he just can't run fast enough, Tommy! When my dad took me to the park to fly my kite, he had to run real fast before he could get it to fly!
 * Tommy: "Let's try it!"

[''In the next scene, Betty, who is carrying a bag of groceries in her arms, opens the front door. She and Charlotte, who is also carrying a bag of groceries, walk in.'']
 * Betty: "I can't believe you got the last frozen turkey dinner!"
 * Charlotte: "I wasn't the one wasting my time looking for turkey franks!"
 * Betty: "Yeah, well, at least now I can cook turkey my way; the right way!"

[Betty reaches into her grocery bag and pulls out a pack of turkey franks, which she shows to Charlotte, who stares at them in shock.]
 * Charlotte: "I don't suppose a little of my french mustard would be worth, say, one frank to you?"

[''Charlotte reaches into her grocery bag and pulls out a jar of French mustard. Didi and Howard, the latter of whom is carrying two bags of groceries, walk in, and Angelica walks up to Charlotte.'']
 * Angelica: "Mommy?"

[Angelica tugs on Charlotte's pants.]
 * Angelica: "Mommy!"
 * Charlotte: "Not now, honey, Mommy's negotiating."

[Charlotte pats Angelica on her head.]
 * Didi: "Please, can't we all share what we've got? Then there'll be enough for everyone!"
 * Charlotte: "You just say that because you don't have anything!"

[Charlotte angrily points at Didi, who gasps upon hearing this.]
 * Betty: "I got dibs on the microwave!"

[Charlotte points at Betty.]
 * Charlotte: "Not if I get there first!"

[Charlotte runs towards the microwave, and Betty follows her.]
 * Howard: "Ha! You and what army?"

[''Howard follows Charlotte and Betty into the kitchen. Didi puts her hands on her head upon hearing this.'']
 * Didi: "Oh!"
 * Angelica: "Mommy!"

[Angelica runs into the kitchen after Charlotte, Betty, and Howard.]
 * Didi: "Oh!"

[''Didi walks into the kitchen. In the next scene, which takes place outside, Tommy, Phil, and Lil all watch as Chuckie pants heavily as he pulls the Turkey on the ribbon. The Turkey gobbles as he is being pulled.'']
 * Tommy, Phil, and Lil: "Go, Chuckie, go!"

[As Chuckie runs, the Turkey begins to lift off the ground.]
 * Chuckie: "I think it's workin', you guys!" (panting) "He's startin' to..."

[Before Chuckie can finish, he runs into the fence.]
 * Chuckie: "Aaaah! Ugh!"

[''Chuckie rubs his head and the Turkey gobbles. Tommy, Phil, and Lil all walk up to them.'']
 * Tommy: "Uh, I guess we know turkeys don't make good kites!"

[Angelica watches from the door.]
 * Angelica: "Hmm!"

[Angelica walks up to Charlotte, who is opening a can with the can opener.]
 * Angelica: "If you'll just come outside, I can show you!"
 * Charlotte: "All right, honey, I'm coming!"

[Charlotte walks up to Angelica, who opens the door with one hand and points with the other.]
 * Angelica: "There! see?"

[''Tommy, Phil, Lil, and the Turkey dressed in Chuckie's clothes, are seen playing hide and seek. Tommy covers his eyes in front of the tree, Phil hides behind a bush, Lil walks away, and the Turkey hides behind the tree. Angelica turns to face Charlotte.'']
 * Charlotte: "I don't see anything, honey. Is this a cry for attention? Oh, I think this is a cry for attention! Tell you what; why don't you come in with Mommy and help her roll up rumaki?"

[''Charlotte picks up Angelica, who is staring angrily at the babies, and walks away, carrying her. The doors inexplicably close, and Tommy turns to see that Angelica is no longer looking at him. He walks up to the bush.'']
 * Tommy: "Chuckie, it's okay, you can come out! It's worked!"

[''Tommy pushes the bush, revealing Chuckie to be standing naked behind it. Chuckie stands up.'']
 * Phil: "That was fun!"

[''As Lil talks to Chuckie, she pulls his shirt off the Turkey, and tosses it to Tommy, who catches it. She then pulls Chuckie's pants off the Turkey as Tommy hands Chuckie his shirt, and Chuckie puts it back on.'']
 * Lil: "Chuckie, you're the bestest Nakie American of all!"

[As Chuckie talks to Lil, she tosses his pants to Tommy, who catches them.]
 * Chuckie: "Well, I'd rather be a dressed-up one!"

[''Tommy hands Chuckie his pants, and Chuckie puts them back on. Lil then tosses Chuckie's shoe to Tommy, who catches it.'']
 * Lil: "How will we get Mr. Smurkey out of the yard if he cannot fly?"

[Chuckie, who is now dressed in his clothes again, walks out of the bush and up to Tommy.]
 * Tommy: "Huh. I don't know, you guys."

[''The Turkey gobbles as he walks up to Spike, who is on the seesaw. Spike whimpers.'']
 * Tommy: "Spike, what are you doing?"

[''Both Spike and the Turkey get on the other end. Spike walks off, whimpering, causing both the seesaw, causing both it and the Turkey to fall back. The Turkey gobbles as he falls back. Tommy points at the seesaw.'']
 * Tommy: "Hey, that gives me a idea; if we put Mr. Turkey on one side of the teaser tosser, and drop something really heavy on the other side..."
 * Chuckie: "He'll go into the air!"
 * Tommy: "And over the fence!"
 * Lil: "How are we gonna get him on the teaser tosser?"

[''Tommy points at his chin, until Spike walks up to him, whimpering. In the next scene, a frozen Turkey Dinner, and a package of turkey bologna are in the microwave as Betty opens it and puts in her packages of turkey franks. She then closes the door and sets the time on the microwave.'']
 * Betty: "Now, we just put this thing on 'Mega Nuke' for ten minutes, and voila! Instant Thanksgiving!"

[''Didi, Howard, Charlotte, and Minka all watch Betty. Meanwhile, Stu and Drew continue watching their football games as the referee blows his whistle.'']
 * Stu (heard offscreen): "Field goal! All right!"

[Stu gets off the couch.]
 * Drew: "What do you mean... what are you taking about? They fumbled!"

[Drew gets off the couch, and Stu points at one of the TV sets.]
 * Stu: "Not that one, that one!"

[Stu grabs Drew's chin with one hand, and points at another TV with another.]
 * Stu: "What do you mean, I shouldn't try a field goal? 58 data, what a field goal!"
 * Drew: "What do you mean? They fumbled! Chicago is down to one!"

[The camera moves over to Chas, who is sleeping in the chair as Angelica walks up to him.]
 * Angelica: "Isn't anybody here hungry?"

[''As Stu and Drew continue arguing, Angelica looks over at Lou, who is signaling Boris. Lou walks away, and Boris follows him.'']
 * Drew: "You don't get what they're saying!"
 * Stu: "No, I get what they're saying; they lucked out!"
 * Boris: "Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!"
 * Angelica: "Hmmm!"

[Angelica follows Lou and Boris.]
 * Stu: "They're gonna go right through the blind goal!"

[''In the next scene, which takes place in Tommy's backyard, Phil is stacked atop Tommy, who is stacked above Chuckie. They all grunt, and Phil stands atop Tommy.'']
 * Tommy: "Okay, Lil, we're ready!"

[Lil turns to face Spike and grabs his collar.]
 * Lil: "Here we go, Spikey!"

[''Spike whimpers as Lil pulls him. The Turkey gobbles as he chases after Spike. Lil and Spike walk over one end of the seesaw, and the Turkey steps onto it. Phil jumps off Tommy, lands on the other end of the seesaw, and launches the Turkey into the air. Chuckie and Tommy get up as the Turkey tries to fly away.'']
 * Chuckie: "There he goes!"

[''The Turkey gobbles as he quickly falls back down. This can be seen from the window in Lou's bedroom as Lou looks for the Turkey in it. Lou gobbles like a turkey, and the camera moves over to Boris.'']
 * Boris: "What? Maybe you got some indigestion?"

[Lou turns to face Boris, and walks up to him.]
 * Lou: "Confound it, Boris! That's an old-fashioned Allegheny Turkey call! Hey!"

[Lou gobbles like a turkey again and walks towards the window.]
 * Boris: "Oh! So you act like a turkey, maybe the turkey comes to you?"

[Angelica walks in.]
 * Angelica: "I know where there's a turkey!"

[''In the next scene, which takes place in Tommy's backyard, the Turkey gobbles as he lands on the ground. Chuckie pants as he and Tommy lift Phil up.'']
 * Chuckie: "I don't think Phil's big enough!"

[Tommy and Chuckie look over at Lil.]
 * Lil: "We could wait till' he's older!"
 * Tommy: "Or we could try to lift Chuckie; he's the biggest! What do you say, Chuckie?"

[The camera moves over to Chuckie.]
 * Chuckie: "Can I keep my clothes on?"

[The camera moves back to Tommy.]
 * Tommy: "Um... oh, okay."
 * Chuckie: "Okay, but just cause' Mr. Turkey is our friend!"

[Tommy turns to face Lil.]
 * Tommy: Lil, grab Spike! We're in busyness!"

[Tommy and Phil walk away as Lil pulls Spike by his leash.]
 * Lil: "Come here, Spikie!"

[''Lil pulls Spike away, and the Turkey follows them. Tommy and Phil grunt as they lift Chuckie up, and the Turkey follows Spike to one end of the seesaw. Chuckie jumps onto the other end, launching the Turkey into the air. The Turkey gobbles as he is launched, and Angelica, Lou (who is now holding a net), and Boris all open the doors and walk out. Angelica gasps when she sees the Turkey.'']
 * Lou: "Thar she blows!"

[''Lou gobbles as he runs out with his net. He swats at the Turkey, but misses. The Turkey then runs from him and towards Boris, and he and Angelica run after him. The Turkey gobbles, then falls over when he runs into Lou. He runs between Lou's legs, and Lou looks between them.'']
 * Lou: "Hey!"

[Angelica walks up to Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil.]
 * Angelica: "Dinner time, babies!"

[''Boris runs up to Lou and snatches his net from him. He runs after the Turkey.'']
 * Boris: "Enough with the gobble already!"

[Lou runs after Boris.]
 * Lou: "Hey, that's my net!"

[Angelica points at the Turkey.]
 * Angelica: "Over here, Grandpas! Hurry! Come on! Go this way! No, this way!"

[''Angelica points in the opposite direction, then runs after the Turkey. Lou and Boris follow her, and Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all watch as they chase the Turkey. The Turkey runs past Angelica's float of Cynthia tied to Lou's balloons, which Angelica trips over.'']
 * Angelica: "Whoa-oh! Ugh!" [Angelica grabs Cynthia.] Not now, Cynthia! We've almost got him!"

[Lou and Boris continue chasing the Turkey.]
 * Boris: "Whoa! Watch out for the kinderlach!"
 * Angelica: "Eeek!"

[''Angelica ducks as Lou and Boris run past her. Lou and Boris both trip and fall onto one end of the seesaw, while the Turkey is on the other end.'']
 * Lou and Boris: "Whoa!"

[''Lou and Boris launch the Turkey into the air, and the Turkey gobbles as he is launched. He lands on one of the satellite dishes, then falls off it. The satellite dish is swinging about, and Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all gasp as it falls over and knocks the other satellite dishes over as well. Tommy and Chuckie cover their eyes, and the Turkey gobbles as he looks up at the satellite dish, which soon falls on top of him, as do the others. Angelica looks with an evil grin on her face, knowing her plan to catch the Turkey worked. In the next scene, Dunes Breacher, a football player, is seen running across the field, carrying a football, as several other football players chase him.'']
 * TV Announcer: "Dunes Breacher is in the clear! He's down to the ten, the five, the two!"

[''Static appears on the screen, as a result of the Turkey knocking the satellites down and causing interference. Stu and Drew stare in shock at this, then get off the couch.'']
 * Stu and Drew: "Aaaah!"

[Chas, who now has a bowl of chips in his lap, awakens from hearing Stu and Drew's screams, knocking the bowl of chips onto the floor.]
 * Stu: "Oh, no! Oh, no!"
 * Drew: "What?"
 * Stu: "The game!"

[''In the kitchen, the microwave short-circuits; the still-packaged turkey products inside it catch fire. Betty, Howard, and Charlotte all turn their attention to it.'']
 * Betty: "Fire in the hole!"

[Stu looks out the window.]
 * Stu: "My satellite dishes!"

[''Betty, Howard, and Charlotte all stare in shock, then duck as the microwave opens its door and fires a gooey mess of turkey products at them. Didi and Minka peek out from under the table.'']
 * Minka: "Aaaah! My pastrami!"
 * Betty: "My franks!"
 * Didi: "The kids!"

[Didi walks up to the door as Betty finds a fire extinguisher in the cabinet below and uses it to put out the fire in the microwave.]
 * Betty: "Heads up!"

[''Betty sprays fire-fighting foam around the kitchen, and the fire in the microwave is put out. She and Minka look at the gooey mess inside.'']
 * Minka: "Well, so much for dinner!"

[''Outside, Boris waves Lou's net as Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all stare sadly at the pile of satellite dishes, hoping the Turkey under them is okay. The Turkey gobbles as he emerges from the satellite dishes unharmed, much to the relief of Tommy and Chuckie, who gasp in delight when they see him. Lil runs up to them and giggles happily. Didi, Charlotte and Howard all run out to them, as does Chas, who points at the Turkey.'']
 * Chas: "What's that?"

[The camera cuts to an overhead view of the Turkey and zooms out on him, revealing Stu, Drew, Betty, and Minka to be outside now as well.]
 * Stu, Didi, Chas, Betty, Howard, Drew, Charlotte, Lou, Boris, and Minka: "A Turkey?!"
 * Angelica: "I told you!"

[Stu walks up to the Turkey.]
 * Stu: "That's the thing that ruined our football games!"
 * Angelica: "It ruined my parade!"

[Betty walks up to Howard.]
 * Betty: "Huh! It ruined our dinner!"
 * Charlotte: "Absolutely! Mine, too!"
 * Betty (heard offscreen): "Yeah, that's right! Huh!"
 * Howard (heard offscreen): "The whole day!"
 * Drew: "Well, dinner's not quite ruined! We still got Turkey!"

[''The Turkey ducks in fear. Tommy stares angrily at the adults, and Chuckie grabs him by his arm and pulls him away as he gasps.'']
 * Chuckie: "Tommy, they're gonna eat Mr. Turkey!"
 * Tommy: "Not unless they eat me first!"

[''Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all walk up to the Turkey. Stu, Drew, Chas, and Lou all look down at them.'']
 * Chas: "What? What are they doing?"

[Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all back up to the Turkey.]
 * Stu (heard offscreen): "It looks like they're protecting the Turkey!"
 * Betty: "Why would they want to do that?"
 * Chas: "Oh, maybe they think we want to eat him."
 * Charlotte: "Well? Don't we? It ruined our Thanksgiving!"

[Didi holds up both her hands.]
 * Didi: "No! This turkey didn't ruin our Thanksgiving; we did! We've spent the whole day arguing about what to eat and what to watch!"

[Didi walks up to Betty and Charlotte.]
 * Didi: Thanksgiving isn't about football or food, or parades!"
 * Angelica: "Well, you didn't see my parade!"
 * Didi: "Thanksgiving is about family, and friends, and if our children can make friends with this turkey, I think we ought to be able to be friends with each other! So, all of you, apologize to your friends right now!"

[Charlotte and Betty hug each other.]
 * Charlotte: "Betty, I'm sorry!"
 * Betty: "Happy Thanksgiving there, huh? Aw, lookit, Charlotte, I-I-I'm really sorry!"
 * Howard: "You're right, yeah!"

[Stu puts his hands on Drew and Chas' backs, and they put their hands on his shoulders.]
 * Stu (heard offscreen): "Hey, uh, I'm sorry!"

[''Angelica walks up to Charlotte and pulls on her shirt. Charlotte pats her on her head, and Drew and Lou bump each other's fists.'']
 * Chas (heard offscreen): "Uh, I don't know what I did, but, but I'm sorry!"
 * Boris: "Fine, friends I like! But what are we going to eat? Everything is kaput!"

[''Tommy, who is holding a box of Reptar cereal, walks up to Boris, and hands him the box. Betty picks Phil and Lil up in her arms.'']
 * Betty: "We-e-ell, looks like our little Native Americans have a suggestion! What do you say, guys? Feel like sharing your chow?"

[Phil and Lil giggle in approval, and Howard pats Lil on her head.]
 * Betty: "Hey hey!"

[''The screen transitions to the next scene,which takes place at Tommy's house that night. The camera zooms in on the picnic table outside.'']
 * Stu (heard offscreen): "I never thought I'd be so thankful!"

[''Chas, Betty, Howard, Drew, Charlotte, Lou, Boris, and Minka are all seated at the table as Stu pours Reptar cereal into their bowls. The camera moves over to Didi, who is carrying a pitcher of milk.'']
 * Didi: "I'm just thankful that we're all together!"

[''Angelica, who is holding a spoon, and was really looking forward to eating the Turkey, stares angrily at her empty bowl. Lil is holding two bottles of milk and squirts them.'']
 * Lil: "This is the best Hanksgiving I ever had!"

[The camera moves over to Phil.]
 * Phil: "It's the only Hanksgiving you ever had, Lillian!"
 * Tommy: "I wanted to say thanks, for you guys are my friends!"

[The camera moves over to Chuckie, who giggles as he holds his empty bowl.]
 * Chuckie: "Yeah, and that we're not eatin' Mr. Turkey!"

[''Angelica turns to face the box of Reptar cereal and stares angrily at it. Spike eats from his food bowl as the Turkey walks up to him. The Turkey gobbles, then Spike, who isn't afraid of him anymore, lets him eat the food from his bowl. They then eat the food together, and the screen fades to black, ending the episode.'']