Candy Bar Creep Show/Transcript

[''The episode begins with a view of a dark orange wall. Scary music plays as a knife cuts a one-toothed smile shape through the wall. The cutout of the mouth is removed, revealing Tommy's face to be behind it. Tommy coos, and the camera cuts to a view of Didi standing next to a jack-o-lantern, revealing that to be where the orange wall came from. Didi then picks up a lit candle and puts it in the jack-o-lantern, then puts the top back on.'']

Didi: It's a jack-o-lantern, Tommy. See? He's got a face just like yours.

[''Tommy gasps. The camera cuts to a close-up of the jack-o-lantern, then the screen transitions to the next scene, where Tommy is in the playpen, talking to Chuckie, Phil, and Lil.'']

Tommy: There's something funny going on around here.

Phil and Lil: What?

Tommy: I don't know but the grown-ups are acting pretty weird.

Angelica (heard offscreen): Hey, goofballs!

[''Tommy gasps and turns to face Angelica, who is holding a trick-or-treat bucket, and tosses it on the floor. She walks up to the playpen.'']

Angelica: Guess what? I get a Reptar bar, and you don't!

Chuckie: You get a what?

Angelica: A Reptar Bar, dummy! Don't you guys eat candy or watch TV or do anything you're supposed to?

[Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all give blank stares.]

Angelica: Oh! I have to explain everything to you little babies!

[Angelica reaches into her bucket and pulls out a Reptar bar, which she shows to Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil.]

Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil: Wow!

Tommy: Reptar?

Phil and Lil: A candy bar?

Angelica: That's right, you little babies. Now, listen! A Reptar bar is chocolate...

[Angelica removes the wrapper to her Reptar Bar.]

Angelica: ...and nuts and caramel and green stuff and...and... (starts singing and dancing) It's swirled, and stirred, and wrinkled and beaten, and sweetened till' you can't stop eatin', the superest, the duperest, the double chocolate scooperest

[''The babies stare at Angelica as she continues dancing around. She then uses her Reptar Bar to knock down a tower of blocks.'']

Angelica (singing): ''The meanest, the best, it's better than the rest! Reptar Bar, Reptar Bar, the candy bar supreme''...

[Phil and Lil run up to Angelica's Reptar Bar, which she takes away.]

Angelica: The candy bar that turns your tongue greee-eee-een!

[''Angelica chomps on her Reptar Bar, then sticks out her now-green tongue. Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all look at each other in amazement.'']

Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil: Wow!

Angelica: And I get one and you don't!

Tommy: How come?

[Angelica picks up her bucket.]

Angelica: Because it's "Hollyween".

Phil and Lil: What's "Hollyween"?

[As Angelica talks to the babies, she skips back and forth.]

Angelica: It's what the grown-ups are all running around about, so I can go trick-or-treating!

Tommy: What's trick-or-treating?

Angelica: I don't know, but they said I'm gonna get more Reptar Bars when I go and I get to go and you don't. So there!

[''Angelica chomps on her Reptar Bar and walks away. Didi walks in, carrying bowls of grapes, spaghetti, and Reptar Bars. Drew, who is dressed in a gorilla costume, follows behind her, holding another bowl of Reptar Bars.'']

Chuckie: Tommy, they got Reptar Bars in those bowls.

Phil and Lil: Yeah!

Tommy: We gotta get some.

Chuckie: But how?

[Tommy sticks out his tongue and starts to think.]

Tommy: Hmmm...

Chuckie: Uh-oh...

[''Phil and Lil look at each other as the screen transitions to the next scene, which takes place outside Tommy's house, as Stu, dressed as a Frankenstein monster, nails down a sign that says, HAUNTED HOUSE. He accidentally hits his thumb with the hammer.'']

Stu: Ow!

[''Stu walks into Tommy's backyard, where a tent is on the porch, and various heads are hanging from a wire near it. Inside the tent, Didi sets the bowl of spaghetti on a stump. Then she walks up to a table and sets the bowls of Reptar Bars and grapes on the counter.'']

Stu (heard offscreen): What a great haunted house. I'm glad I thought of it, Drew.

[Drew is tying a skeleton onto a wire.]

Drew: I thought I thought of it.

[''The skeleton falls over. Didi picks up a grape, which has an eyeball painted onto it.'']

Didi: Hmm? Aren't these grape eyeballs a little too scary for our little trick-or-treaters?

[Drew reaches into the bowl of spaghetti.]

Drew: Ha! No scarier than my spaghetti worms!

[''Lou, who is wearing a rubber monster mask laughs as he walks into the tent. Didi gasps. Lou shakes his monster heard around a bit, then removes his mask and chuckles.'']

Didi: Grandpa! That mask is hideous. Oh, we can't bring the babies in here.

[A puppet of a spider falls near Didi.]

Didi: They'd have nightmares for years!

[The camera moves over to Drew, revealing him to be operating the spider puppet.]

Drew: Oops, I already promised Angelica she could come.

Didi: Well, maybe she's mature enough, but let's wait a year with the others.

Lou: Huh! When I was a spud, me and my brother, Sparky used to go trick-or-treatin' door-to-door. Course', in those days, it was 15 miles to the next house...

[Lou pulls some spaghetti out of the bowl.]

Lou: ...and those were real tricks and real ghosts, mind yo!

Stu: Real ghosts, Pop?

Lou: And me and Sparky weren't scared of nothin'!

Children (heard offscreen): TRIIICK ORRR TREEEAT!

[Lou drops his mask and the spaghetti in fear.]

Lou: What? What? What? Oh, what was that?!

Didi: Oh! The trick-or-treaters are here. Places, everyone.

[''Stu puts a sign that says, WORMS in front of the stump. Drew then turns on a record player that plays scary music. Stu pushes a cutout of a skull in front of the table with the grapes on it. As Stu and Didi walk out of the tent, Drew puts on his gorilla mask, and switches the light off. He then runs up to the tent and holds it open for three children; a boy dressed like a skeleton, a girl dressed like a witch, and a boy dressed like a devil. Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all watch from inside.'']

Chuckie: What are those?

Lil: Big kids.

Phil: Scarier and bigger than Angelica even!

[''The children go in the tent, as does Drew. Didi, who is now dressed as a vampire, looks out the window.'']

Didi: Oh my, more kids are starting to arrive

[''Didi walks up to the mirror and puts on her cape. She then hides her mouth behind her cape, and pulls out vampire fangs, which she then puts in her mouth and chomps on. Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil see her and walk towards her.'']

Stu (heard offscreen): You'd better get out there, Deed. I still have to put on my Frankenstein flat-top.

[''Didi walks away. Phil opens his mouth and points at it. Stu walks up to the mirror and puts on his Frankenstein flat-top. A bell chimes, and Stu holds his arms out like a Frankenstein monster. He then walks past Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil and groans. Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all run up to the window. Outside, Didi is holding the tent open for three more children; a girl dressed as a fairy, a boy dressed as a clown, and a boy dressed as a cat.'']

Didi: Ooh what scary costumes!

Cat Boy: Meow!

Didi: Now you may enter the haunted house...

[The children all get in the tent.]

Tommy: How come they went in there?

[''Chuckie shrugs. The children scream, then run out, holding up Reptar Bars.'']

Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil: Reptar Bars!

[The children run away, laughing as they remove their masks.]

Tommy: Wow! They pulled their faces off!

[Tommy, Chuckie, Phil and Lil all turn away from the window.]

Chuckie: They have two faces!

Phil: And enough Reptar Bars to feed both of 'em!

[''Two boys, one dressed as an ogre, and another dressed as a hobo, run out of the tent, laughing and holding up Reptar Bars. Tommy is now looking out the window.'']

Tommy: I get it! All we have to do to get a Reptar Bar is scream!

[Tommy turns to face Chuckie.]

Chuckie: I don't know, Tommy. I scream all the time and alls I ever get is a bottle or a diaper.

Tommy: Yeah, Chuckie, but this is "Hollyween". Everything's different!

Phil and Lil: Yeah!

Chuckie: Maybe we don't have to scream. Maybe, maybe Angelica will, uh...share with us.

Tommy: Come on, Chuckie, don't be a baby. Okay, ready?

[Tommy turns to face Phil and Lil.]

Tommy: One...two...three...

[''Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all inhale as outside, Didi holds the door open for two boys dressed like pirates. Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all scream, scaring the boys away. Stu and Didi rush in, and they all stop screaming.'']

Didi: Oh, Stu! The trick-or-treaters must have scared them!

[Tommy looks up at Stu and Didi, smiling.]

Stu: Don't worry, champ!

[Stu reaches down at Tommy, who now frowns.]

Stu: We'll fix it so those old monsters can't scare you.

[''Didi pulls on the string to the curtains, closing them. She then walks away.'']

Didi: (sing-song voice) That's better!

[Stu holds his thumb up, and he and Didi walk away.]

Chuckie: Huh! All that screamin' for nothing.

Phil and Lil: Yeah!

Tommy: I don't get it. How come when those kids screamed they get candy, but we don't? What are they doing different? (thinks a bit) Wait a minute. Chuckie, Phil, Lil, we have to scream inside that place!

[Tommy walks up to the window.]

Phil and Lil: What place?

[Tommy pushes the curtains open.]

Tommy: The place where the big kids are going!

Chuckie: I don't know, Tommy. It might be pretty scary in there.

[The camera cuts to a view of the kitchen, where Spike is sleeping on his back .]

Tommy (heard offscreen): Aw, come on, Chuckie.

[''Spike sniffs and opens his eyes. He sees Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil running out of the playpen and lets out a small whimper.'']

Tommy: Shh!

[''Spike yawns, then goes back to sleep. Tommy, Phil, Lil, and Chuckie all peer out under the tent, the former three in amazement, and the latter in fear. The camera moves across the tent.'']

Tommy, Phil and Lil: Wow!

[Phil and Lil walk into the tent.]

Tommy: See, Chuckie? This isn't scary.

[Tommy and Chuckie walk into the tent.]

Chuckie: Well, it is a little scary...

[''Chuckie walks up to a mirror, which warps his body like a fun house mirror. Tommy is now behind the skull cut-out and reaches into the bowls of grapes. He picks up some grapes and squishes them in his hands. He then coos happily and giggles as he tosses the rest about. As Chuckie looks at his reflection in the mirror, Phil and Lil are behind the bowl of spaghetti.'']

Phil and Lil: Worms!

[''Phil and Lil giggle as they toss the spaghetti about. Chuckie continues looking at his reflection in the mirror.'']

Chuckie: Whoa-oh! Whoa! Whoa! I think I'm gonna throw up!

[Tommy giggles as he reaches for a bat hanging from a wire.]

Children (heard offscreen): Trick or treat!

[The shadows of Didi and the children, including Angelica, who is dressed like an angel, are outside the tent.]

Didi: My, what scary costumes.

Angelica: Mine's not scary, Aunt Didi. I'm a little angel!

Didi: Of course you are, dear.

[Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all look at each other.]

Tommy, Chuckie, Phil and Lil: Angelica?!

[''Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all split up and run away. Tommy hides behind the tent, Phil and Lil hide behind cut-outs of gravestones with RIP written on them, and Chuckie trips over a rope, getting his foot tied in it.'']

Chuckie: Ugh!

[The camera moves up the rope, revealing a skeleton tied to the other end.]

Drew: (offscreen) Here you go. One for you, one for you, and you, wolfie! And one for the little mummy heap...

[Tommy pulls on the tent, revealing it to fall down, and the fan to blow on it, making it look like a ghost.]

Drew: And here's a Reptar Bar for you, muffin.

[Tommy gasps.]

Tommy: Reptar

Drew (heard offscreen): Just put em' in your treat bags and...

[Drew holds the tent open.]

Drew (in gorilla voice): Enter the haunted palace!

Tommy: Chuckie, Phil, Lil, it's screaming time!

[Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all inhale as Angelica, as well as three other children, one dressed like a Frankenstein monster, one dressed like a mummy, and one dressed like a werewolf, all walk in.]

Phil and Lil: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH...

[Angelica points at the mirror.]

Angelica: Look!

[''In the mirror, reflections of Phil and Lil with spaghetti on their heads appear. Chuckie unties the rope, and the skeleton falls on Angelica as the other children run away.'']

Angelica: Aaaah!

[''Angelica stares at the skeleton and backs up, until she backs into the cutout of the skull. She turns to face it.''] "Aaaah!" [''Angelica pushes on the cutout, and grapes fall on her. She looks down at them.'']

Angelica: EWWWWW! Eyeballs!

[''The other children are revealed to be hiding behind a potted plant. Angelica runs up to them. She then stares in shock, as the wind blows on the tent covering Tommy, making it look like a ghost as he moves around.'']

Angelica: AAAAAAAAH! A GHOOOOOST!!!

[Lou, who is wearing his mask again, walks into the tent.]

Lou: What's all the ruckus?

[''Angelica and the other children all gasp when they see Lou. They then run away.'']

Angelica and Children: AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

[''Lou removes his mask and looks around. He walks away, and slips on the grapes.'']

Lou: Oooh! Wha? Hey!

[''Lou tosses his rubber mask, which lands on Chuckie, covering him up. Lou then looks over at the reflection of Phil and Lil in the mirror and gasps.'']

Lou: Hey! Jumping Jehoshaphat! Real ghosts!

[Chuckie grunts as he walks towards Lou with the mask on his body.]

Lou: Leapin' Librarians!

[Lou runs up to the tent covering Tommy and gasps at his ghostly appearance.]

Lou: HOPPIN' HORNY TOADS!

[''Lou crawls out of the tent. Tommy grunts as he pulls the tent off. Chuckie grunts as he pulls off Lou's mask.'']

Chuckie: Wow, Tommy, look.

[''The camera zooms out, revealing many Reptar Bars on the ground in front of Chuckie. Tommy, Phil, and Lil all walk up to Chuckie.'']

Tommy, Chuckie, Phil and Lil: Reptar Bars!

[''The camera cuts to a view of Spike, who is sleeping in the kitchen. He wakes up and whimpers when he sees Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil carrying bags of Reptar Bars. A piece of spaghetti falls on the floor, and Spike sniffs and eats it, then falls back asleep, letting out a satisfied little whimper. Outside, Stu, Didi, and Drew are talking to Lou, who is sitting on the porch.'']

Stu: Now, how many zombies was it, Pop?

Lou: It was two zombies, I tell you! Snake-haired zombies, shrieking something horribl!

Drew: Pop, it's just a little haunted house. We built it ourselves, remember?

Lou: Well, I don't remember building any zombies. And another thing--how'd my mask move all by itself? And what about that ghost?

[Lou points at Drew.]

Drew: A ghost, Pop? Come on

[Angelica walks up to Lou.]

Angelica: There was a ghost, Daddy. A horrible, terrible ghost that wrecked my halo and scared me!

[Lou hugs Angelica.]

Lou: Scared me, too, darlin'. Not goin' back in there. No sirree.

Stu: I thought you said nothing scared you when you were a kid, eh, Pop?

Lou: Well, that was now, this is then!

[Stu and Drew nudge each other's elbows.]

Lou: Okay, then, which one of you heroes is goin' in there first?!

[''Stu and Drew frown and look at each other. Angelica turns to face them.'']

Angelica: I want my Reptar Bar!

[''Inside Tommy's house, Tommy chomps on one of the Reptar bars. He then sticks out his now-green tongue. Chuckie, Phil, and Lil are also all eating Reptar Bars.'']

Chuckie: Wow!

[Chuckie sticks out his now-green tongue.]

Phil: Angelica was right!

[Phil sticks out his now-green tongue.]

Lil: Yeah, it does turn your tongue green, see?

[Lil sticks out her now-green tongue.]

Stu: Why me? Why do I have to go in there alone?

Drew: 'Cause I'm older!

[Stu holds up his hand like a stop sign.]

Stu: Hey, no fair!

[Drew points at Stu.]

Drew: All right, I'll tell you what, you go first, and I'll cover you

Stu: Uh-uh, I'll cover you!

[Stu points at Drew.]

Angelica: I want my Reptar Bar!

[As Stu, Drew, and Angelica talk, the camera moves up to the moon as some trick-or-treaters walk through the neighborhood.]

Stu: Okay, we'll go in together.

Drew: Right!

Stu: Ready!

Drew: Set!

Stu: Wait a minute, maybe I should get a flashlight!

Drew: Right, Right, a flashlight.

Stu: Okay! You go on in there, and I'll, uh go get a flashlight and join you.

Drew: Oh, oh no, little brother! You go in there, and I'll get a flashlight.

Stu: Why me? Why do I have to go in there alone?

Angelica: I WANT MY REPTAR BAR!!!

[The screen fades to black, ending the episode.]