Twins' Pique/Transcript

Phil & Lil: WHY CAN'T THEY TELL US APART?!

Angelica: Now lemme get this straight, Phil and Lil wanna be different?

Tommy: Yep.

Angelica: And Phil decided to be like Chuckie?

Tommy: That's right.

Angelica: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!

Tommy: And Lil said she wants to be like you.

Angelica: You gotta be- (stops after hearing that statement.) What was the last thing you said?

Tommy: Lil wants to be like you.

Angelica: Like me huh? I always knew that girl had brains! You know, maybe there's a thing or two I can teach her.

(The doorbell sounds and Betty comes in wearing overalls just like Didi, carrying the twins in her arms and the toolbox in her right hand. Phil is now donning messy hair like Chuckie's and Lil has pulled her hair into two ribbons like Angelica.)

Betty: I bought the tool kit, Deed, let's tune that engine!

(Betty places the twins in the playpen. As the mothers leave the room, Angelica walks over to Lil.)

Angelica: So, you decided to learn from the master!

(Lil simply brushed her aside.)

Lil: Back off, Pigtails!

(Lil walks over to the toybox that Tommy is sitting on and opens it even with him sitting on it, very akin to what Angelica would do, and starts throwing toys everywhere aggressively.)

Phil: I'm scared Chuckie! Tell me when it's over!

Chuckie: Oh for gosh sakes, nothing's even happened yet!

(Lil pulls a head off of a doll and kicks the body towards Angelica's head, who has had a nerve touched with Lil being as good as she is replicating her.)

Angelica: Look, I get what you're doing, Lil. (getting in Lil's face) But nobody talks to me like that!

(Lil turns to Angelica, once again replicating Angelica very accurately.)

Lil: Nobody? Until NOW!

(In a surprising turn of events, Lil pushes Angelica to the floor. The latter is dazed with surprise at what had just happened.)

Angelica: There's a first time for everything I guess...

---

Lil: Forget the toys, let's go on a secret mission.

Tommy: A secret mission?

Lil: Yeah, a top secret misson... to my daddy's office.

(The babies and Angelica gasp.)

Phil: But Lil, we can't go to daddy's office! It's all the way at our house!

Tommy: Yeah, and we're not allowed to go over there!

Lil: (sweetly at first) Tommy, what are you more afraid of? Your mama gettin' mad at you... (until she throws a fist in a threatening way at Tommy) ...or THIS?!

(Tommy gasps. Chuckie turns to Phil, who had been doing quite a bad job at imitating Chuckie.)

Chuckie: Phil, now you can be scared.

(Chuckie and Phil pick up the blanket and throw it over themselves, shivering.)