At the Movies/Transcript

Tommy is pushing a popcorn toy back and forth in the living room He stops upon noticing a Reptar commercial on the TV.

TV: "Just when you thought it was safe to visit New York, here comes Reptar."

Tommy: "Reptar..." [he imitates Reptar]

TV: "He's big, he's mean, he's green, and he's back. He's Reptar!"

Tommy: "Reptar."

TV: "And this time, he means business. Rated MGR. Minor Guidance Recommended, now playing in theaters everywhere including the Westside Octoplex."

Stu: "Up we go, champ." [Tommy starts gibberishing to leave the house] "Yeah, Rehreh. Time to go." [Tommy starts crying as he wants to go see Reptar.] "Ah, cheer up, Tommy. Tonight we're all going to the Octoplex to see your first movie."

Tommy: [Tommy cries out for Reptar.] "Ruh ruh!"

We now see the outside of the movie theater, with the group of babies and their parents in line to get tickets...

Lou: "The Dummi Bears in The Land Without Smiles?! Do we really have to see this one?"

Stu: "Ah, come on, Pop. The kids'll love it."

Tommy: "Ruh ruh!"

Didi: "Yes, Tommy, wawa, we're going to a movie."

They go in the theater, which is full of loud, rowdy kids and wailing babies...

Lou: "We should've gone bowling."

Tommy: "Chuckie, Phil, Lil! I've gotta tell you about this great thing I saw."

All: "What?"

Tommy: "Reptar."

All: "Reptar?"

Tommy: "Reptar. This big dinosaur on the TV. It knocked over some buildings and stuff."

All: "Wow!"

Lou: "I told ya, we should've gone bowling!"

Stu: "Shhh, Dad, it's starting."

The whole theater quiets down.

Dummi Bears are making pink hearts, putting on the arrows and sending out happy thoughts from the cloud kingdom to a cartoonized version of the United States of America, with a smiling face in its' center...

Dummi Bear 1: "Here goes a happy thought to a sad little boy in Texas."

Dummi Bear 2: "And here goes one to a lonely little girl in New York." [the arrows fly down to their respective targets on the country

Princess Dummi Bear: "Help! Help! Someone's stolen the magic list!!" [The grown-ups (except for Lou) gasp]

Dummi Bear 1: "Stolen? But-but without the list of sad little boys and girls, this'll become... The Land Without Smiles." [the movie's title appears over the now-frowning United States]

Lou: "Land without Brains is more like it!" [Stu shushes him]

Chuckie: "So, Tommy? How big was Reptar?"

Tommy: "I don't know. But there were a bunch of tiny grown-ups running around his feet."

Twins: "Wow. We wanna see Reptar."

Tommy: "Okay. Let's go find him."

Chuckie: "But he was on TV, Tommy, back at your house."

Tommy: "I saw his picture outside, Chuckie. I think he's here somewhere." [Tommy points to an exit door] "Maybe he's... this way!"

''Tommy, Phil and Lil walk towards the door. Chuckie hesitates and looks back at the grown-ups before leaving as well. They walk out into a hallway lobby.''

Tommy: "Come on!"

Chuckie: "Maybe Reptar's in here."

''The babies walk into another room that is showing a romantic movie. They block the screen.''

Man: "Hey you! Down in front!"

''They duck down just in time. The door opens.''

Chuckie: "Aah! Monster! Run away!"

''They drop down below the seats and begin crawling on the floor. Chuckie runs off.''

Tommy: "Phil, Lil! Up here!"

''Phil and Lil climb up onto a ledge, which turns out to be an empty seat. It folds up on them and they get stuck. They squeeze their way out, but Tommy grabs a woman's leg in the process. She gasps and slaps the guy next to her in the face (thinking he did it). Chuckie is seen outside the theater.''

Chuckie: "There you are."

Lil: "I hate kissing movies. Nothing ever happens."

Phil: [seeing the concession stand] "Hey, what's that?"

Larry: "No way, beanie boards are by far the coolest."

Steve: "You lie! Beanies are bogus. Grodie boards rule."

Larry: "Aw, forget you!"

Steve: "Forget you too, man!"

Tommy: "Reptar?"

''Tommy climbs up the back of the popcorn machine and gets inside. Phil and Lil are at the soda machine. Phil pushes the dispenser for orange soda. Chuckie has gotten into a cabinet and gets into the chocolate bars. He walks off and gasps when he notices some stairs going up. Meanwhile, Phil and Lil are playing with the soda machine, pushing for grape and orange soda, but the orange soda dispenser gets stuck and keeps pouring soda. Chuckie continues to look up the stairs. Phil and Lil are then seen at the ketchup and mustard dispensers.''

Tommy: [looking through the popcorn] "Reptar!"

Chuckie: "Hey, Tommy! Come and look at this! I think I found where Reptar is!"

''Tommy climbs out of the popcorn machine. Phil and Lil spill straws before they too walk off.''

Steve: "You, manager? Ha! Hardly."

Larry: "Why not?"

Steve: "After Mr. Wilkie caught you drinking a carton of artificial popcorn butter?" [He chuckles.] "Dream on."

Larry: "I had to, man, a bets a bet."

Steve: "I betcha a buck you won't do it again."

Larry: "You're on, dude."

Larry and Steve: [upon seeing the mess the babies caused] "WHOA!"

The babies are looking up the stairs Chuckie noticed earlier.

Chuckie: "What is it?"

Phil: "The sun?"

Lil: "The moon?"

Tommy: "No. It's Reptar." [they begin climbing up the stairs into the projector room]

All: "Wow!"

Tommy: "Pasketty merry-go-round."

Chuckie: "Yeah! Look at this one."

''Lou is eating popcorn. In a scene from the Dummi Bears film, little Shawna is lying sick on a hospital bed.''

Shawna: "Just get valentines to the other needy children, Squeaky Bear." [Didi hugs Stu] "It's too late for me." [she coughs]

Lou: [dryly] "It's too late for me, too."

Didi: "Shh!"

Lou: "I'm gonna get some candy." [getting up from seat] "I'd rather rot my teeth than sit here and rot my brain."

Tommy: "I've seen this one already. Come on."

''Lil climbs up a tall stack of film canisters, and it falls down. The projector guy is too busy reading a comic to notice. Tommy and Chuckie peek through a projection window to see an Indiana Jones-esque adventure movie, with the protagonist swinging away from spear-throwing natives... ''

Chuckie: "Reptar?"

Tommy: "Nope. Reptar's green."

They peek through another window and see a weird movie featuring a mohawked tough guy holding a banana instead of a gun...

Chuckie: "Is this it, Tommy?"

Tough Guy: "Hey! You talkin' to me?"

Chuckie: [stuttering] "N-No, I was talking to Tommy. Let's try another one."

''They walk to another projector window and hear loud roars. It's the Reptar film!''

Chuckie: "Reptar?"

Tommy: "Reptar!" [Phil and Lil walk over]

All: [as they stare at the screen] "Wow!"

In the movie, Reptar demolishes several buildings and fights a large flying pterodactyl monster.

Phil: "Hey! Let me see!"

Lil: "Quit pushin'. I got here first!"

Phil: "You had your turn! Whoa!" [he falls backwards onto a rotating film platter]

Lil: "Hey! Let me try!" [she gets on the same film platter]

''Tommy and Chuckie sit on another rotating platter. They are then seen standing up. Tommy grabs a filmstrip and runs around with it. Chuckie grabs another filmstrip and goes round and round on the platter with it. Phil and Lil, then Chuckie grab more film. The film gets tangled up and gets jammed in the projectors. One piece of film breaks, and only at this point does the projector guy notice the mess.''

Projectionist: "Huh? Aaaahh!"

Chuckie: [realizing the film is filling the room] "I think we better go now, Tommy."

Tommy: "Yep." [they walk back down the stairs]

Lou: "What a mess! Why in my day a youngster knew how to run a snack bar. And he'd walk 15 miles through the snow to get there too."

Larry: "Yeah right, old dude."

Lou: "Well, hello there. Guess you little sprouts had enough of that brainless bear adventure too, ay? Well, I got us some snacks anyway. Come on now, get along little doggies." [film is coming down the stairs]

Grandpa Lou takes the babies back to the theater, unaware of the chaos the babies had caused; in the movie...

Squeaky Bear (Doctor): "I know you're all wondering if Little Shawna is going to pull through. Oh well, looks like Little Shawna..." [the picture starts to roll up and down and the audio suddenly makes weird garbled sounds followed by the film burning and leaving a blank screen]

''The audience groans and mumbles and stands up. Lou continues to eat popcorn as the babies smile at each other. As Stu, Didi, Lou and Tommy get into their car in the parking lot, an adult couple walks by...''

Guy: [in posh voice] "What nerve! They didn't even give us our money back! Right when you're about to find out if the guy's a ghost, the picture just goes black!"

Woman: "Worst theater I've ever been to."

Guy: "You're telling me. The popcorn here tastes like soda pop."

Lou buckles up next to Tommy after which Stu starts the car.

Stu: "I just wish I knew if Little Shawna pulled through!"

Didi: "Aww. I guess we'll have to wait until it comes out on video."

Stu: "It just isn't fair!"

Didi: "Well, at least we know Tommy can get through a whole movie without making any trouble."

Stu: "Mm. You're right. At least there's that."

Didi: "Why don't we go see movie again next week?"

Stu: "Okay. But next time, let's go to another theater." [Lou eats a chocolate bar]

Tommy: [seeing a lighted Reptar billboard out the window] "Reptar."