Piggy's Pizza Palace/Transcript

''We are shown a large, barn shaped building with a parking lot in front of it. The Pickles' car drives by.''

Tommy: "There it is!"

Tommy: "Look!" (he snorts)

Lil: "Piggy's house!"

Stu: "The kids are really gonna have a ball today. They just installed that new animatronic stage show."

Drew: "That's not all they've installed, little bro."

Stu: "You mean?"

Drew: "That's right! They put in that new 'Reptar Unchained' pinball machine."

Stu: "Ooh!"

Stu finds a parking spot, but he hits another car before backing up and finally pulling in.

Piggy: (snorts) "He-Hey there, folks! I'm your old pal, Piggy! Come on in and pig out on pizza!" (snorts)

''Stu, Drew and the babies enter the building into an arcade area. Tommy laughs.''

Ringo: "Howdy there! Welcome to Piggy's Pinball Pizza Palace! Have fun, pig out and follow the rules, so's Ringo the Bull don't have to come over and remind you to play nice."

Stu: "Yeah, yeah, we know the drill."

Reptar: "I am Reptar! Feed me quarters! I am Reptar! Feed me quarters! I am Reptar! Feed me quarters!"

Tommy: "Here we are, guys. Piggy's Pitbull Palace. Isn't it... oof!" (Angelica bumps into him)

Angelica: "Oh, Cynthia! I've saved and I've saved for my whole life! And daddy says I only has to win one more ribbon o' tickets 'til I can trade for... the Cynthia Drive-away Dream Car! Daddy, I gotta win the rest of the tickets so I can win the Cynthia Drive-away Dream Car!"

Drew: (handing Angelica some money) "Here you go, angel. Have fun. (to Stu) That'll keep her busy while I show you what a pinball wizard can do."

Stu: "Okay, champ, you kids play here in the Piglet Farm while I show your Uncle Drew who's the real wizard at pinball."

Phil: "Oh boy, the Piglet Farm! Lookie, cow food!" (begins eating hay)

Lil: (stuffing some hay into her diaper) "I'll save some for later."

Chuckie: (worried) "I just hope we don't end up being piggy food."

''A ball rolls up the track on a skee shoot machine. The machine registers five points, and it is revealed that Angelica is at the machine. She wins a ribbon of tickets.''

Angelica: "Yay, woo, I won! I got the tickets the Cynthia Drive-away Dream Car's mine-hahaha-ine! Mine-haha-mine! (she continues running around, twirling the tickets as she goes)

Chuckie: "Angelica sure looks happy."

Lil: "Suppose she finded a bug in her hair?"

Tommy: I think she wins that pretty ribbon she wanted."

In a dressing room, a man puts on a Piggy costume and turns on his spinning tail.

Piggy: Okay kiddies, it's showtime!" (snorts)

Tommy: (noticing Piggy walk out of the dressing room) Look, guys! There's Piggy!"

Chuckie: (nervous) "Oh, poop."

Angelica: "Hey pig, I just got the Cynthia Drive-away Dream Car!"

''Angelica is still twirling her tickets around when they get tangled in Piggy's tail and are yanked out of her hand. Piggy does not notice.''

Angelica: "Hey!"

Piggy walks off snorting, with Angelica's tickets still in his tail.

Angelica: "Hey you dumb pig, come back here!" (runs after Piggy)

Angelica kicks down Piggy karate-style and tries to pin him down, but her rampage is interrupted by Ringo (who does not notice Angelica's tickets in Piggy's tail), who picks her up and sets her in the Pig Pen, a jail cell-like enclosure.

Ringo: Sorry kid, you know the rules. You gotta do ten in the Pig Pen if you get rough with Piggy or his barnyard friends."

Angelica: "BUT-A, BU-, BUT IT WASN’T MY FAULT!" (Ringo closes the door and Angelica starts crying)

Tommy: "Did you guys see that? Piggy just stoled Angelica's ribbon!"

Phil: "Just when she's about to get her Cynthia car she's been saving up for!"

Chuckie: I told you he was trouble!"

Lil: And they gave her time out in the Pig Pen too!"

Tommy: "It's not fair, and we gotta fix it! We gotta get that ribbon back for Angelica!"

Phil and Lil: "Yeah!"

We are back at the pinball machine.

Drew: "See Stu? Wrist tension, that's the key."

Stu: "Oh thanks, bro. But I don't take tips from amateurs. You know, in the tenth grade, I won the 'Fast Flipper Tournament'."

Drew: "I know. You still have the trophy on display in your living room."

Stu: "That's correct."

''The babies have somehow managed to get out of the Piglet Farm, and are crawling past Stu and Drew. Tommy sees Piggy.''

Tommy: "There he is. Guys, we're gonna have to go through that play pond."

Chuckie: "Oh, I knew this wasn't gonna to be easy."

Tommy walks up some stairs to a tube leading to the ball pit.

Tommy: "Come on!" (he jumps in)

Chuckie: I just-uh-I just membered that I don't member how to swim."

Phil: "I'll remind ya." (he pushes Chuckie in)

Chuckie: AHHH! (he struggles to stay up, gasping for air)

Phil, then Lil, jump in as well.

Tommy: Come on you guys, do the doggy waddle like Spike!"

''Tommy, Phil and Lil waddle to the other side and see Piggy walk into the dressing room, but Chuckie continues struggling to move and sinks below the surface. Tommy goes to his rescue and throws the balls around. Chuckie raises his right hand.''

Chuckie: "Tommy? I can't make it! (Tommy removes some balls to find Chuckie) Tommy! (Tommy pulls him to the surface) Thanks, Tommy."

Lil: "Where's Piggy?"

Tommy: "He went through that door. Come on!" (the babies drop out of the ball pit)

We are back at the pinball machine again.

Stu: "The real secret, bro, is to let it flow. You have to become one with the machine."

Drew: "Are you talking about pinball, or trying to give me a dance lesson?"

Stu: "You could use help with both."

''The babies are inside the dressing room. They are shocked to see the costumes hanging on the wall.''

Tommy: "Hello, mister fluffy guys, we're looking for Piggy. (none of the costumes respond)

Chuckie: "They're not very friendly."

Tommy: Hmm, they're animals. They can't talk like us."

Phil: (to the cow and dog costumes) "Um, woof, woof, mooo."

Lil: (to the pig costume) "Oinkity, oinkity."

Chuckie: (to the duck costume) "Quack, quack, quackity quack."

Tommy: (says something in Yiddish to the dog costume)

Phil, Lil and Chuckie look at Tommy in wonder at what he said.

Tommy: "My grandpa Boris always says that to Spike."

Chuckie: "What about that door?"

Lil: "It just our size!"

Phil: "Must be for us."

Tommy: "Let's go!" (the babies say good-bye to the costumes)

''Angelica impatiently paces the floor inside the Pig Pen. The babies are then shown walking through the small door Chuckie saw earlier into a mechanical room under the stage.''

Chuckie: "It looks scary to me."

Tommy: "Let's find a light button. It's not so scary when it's not so dark."

Tommy pushes the button, activating the show.

Ringo: "Well that's weird. The show's not supposed to start for three minutes."

Lil: "Hey, that's Piggy!"

Tommy: "He's upstairs! Come on."

''The babies climb up onto the stage. Phil hits the button again and the show shuts down and the lights go out again. Ringo scratches his head in confusion. At the pinball machine, Drew bumps into Stu, and the machine registers it as a tilt.''

Reptar: "Reptar tilt!

Stu: "It's a tilt! You tilted it!"

Drew: "Did not! You pushed it!" (he and Stu fight over the machine)

Reptar: "Reptar tilt! Reptar tilt! Reptar tilt! Reptar tilt! Reptar-"

The babies peek under the curtain on the stage.

Tommy: "There he is! Oh, and he has lots of friends."

Lil: "Where's Angelica's ribbon?"

Tommy: "He must've puted it somewheres, uh, but he don't have a diaper. His pocket! You gotta do it, Chuckie, you're our only hope!"

Chuckie: "But, wha-what if I wake him up? I- he'll be extra cranky."

Tommy: "You're the tallest Chuckie. It's up to you."

Chuckie: "If anything happens to me, Tommy, I want you to have my potty."

''Chuckie climbs onto the Piggy animatronic. Lil backs into a huge lever, activating the show again.''

Girl: (noticing Chuckie riding on Piggy) “Daddy, look at that boy on Piggy, he almost looks real.”

Chuckie is being tossed around on Piggy, and he breaks it in the process.

Chuckie: "All I wanted was a slice of pizza."

Girl's father: "Hey, what's going on? What are those kids doing up there?"

Girl: (jealous) "Daddy, I want to be on stage too!"

Chuckie: Ahh! Oh no, I breaked him! Uhh! Now, he's really gonna be mad.

Piggy animatronic: (malfunctioning) "My barnyard...my...my...my...."

Tommy: "Wait, Chuckie! That's not the real Piggy, it's just a robot!"

Piggy animatronic: "My..."

Chuckie: "It is?"

Piggy animatronic: "My..."

Tommy: "See? It's all full of metal stuff."

Phil: Uh-huh, a real Piggy be full of pizza.

Piggy animatronic: "My barnyard..."

Tommy: "Let's go find that real Piggy!"

Piggy animatronic: (voice gets lower) "Howdy-doo, howdy-do eeeeeee..."

''Ringo walks away from the Pig Pen. For unknown reasons, the gate opens.''

Angelica: "I'm free!"

Inside the dressing room, Piggy is bandaging his right foot.

Piggy animatronic: (in a deep voice) "My barnyard... my..."

Piggy: "Mm, sounds like trouble." (he walks out of the dressing room, Angelica's tickets still in his tail)

Tommy: "You guys, there's Piggy!"

Lil: "And he's wearing Angelica's ribbon!"

Tommy: Let's get him!" (the babies follow Piggy)

Angelica: (noticing Piggy) "Okay, pig..."

Ringo: (realizing Angelica is not in the Pig Pen) "Oh no, how'd you get out?"

Angelica: "Let me go!"

''Ringo struggles with Angelica and grabs her as she tries to free herself. Piggy does not notice this and keeps walking, not realizing that the babies are following him, and only then does he notice them.''

Piggy: "Aw, these kids do love me, don't they?"

''He bends down, intending to give the babies a hug, but they push him back into the ball pit's liner, destroying it. The resulting avalanche of balls fills the restaurant, sending Piggy into Ringo who is holding Angelica, knocking him down and releasing Angelica, who grabs her ribbon of tickets. The babies ride the wave of balls towards Stu and Drew.''

Stu: (seeing the balls coming) "Uh, bro?"

Drew: (oblivious) "No time to strike me, Stu. The mist is back, and is gaining just about-"

The balls carry Stu and Drew (along with the babies) to the prize redemption counter.

Angelica: (to Drew) "Okay daddy, I have enough tickets now."

''Angelica is seen playing with her new car. Stu and Drew are picking up the balls.''

Tommy: See Chuckie, our old pal Piggy gave back the ribbon after all."

Chuckie: "Uh, well, I guess he wasn't so bad."

Piggy: "Bye bye kiddies, come back soon and visit your old pal Piggy."

''Piggy bends down and snorts, and this frightens an already freaked-out Chuckie to start screaming. The camera zooms inside Chuckie's screaming mouth and down his throat, ending the episode.''