Driving Miss Angelica/Transcript

''[The episode begins with Chuckie running around, picking up dandelions and blowing the seeds off of them. A butterfly is flying around.]''

Chuckie: (laughing and blowing on the dandelions)

[ Drew is talking on his cell phone.]

Drew: Okay, now listen, Hobby, I want those portfolios taken care of right away. ''[He bends down to pick up a newspaper. The butterfly is on the newspaper, and then flies off.]'' What? No, I-I  can’t come into the office today. I’m-I’m home, babysitting. [He looks over at Angelica, who’s lounging on a chair, Tommy, who’s chasing after the butterfly, and Chuckie, who’s playing in the bushes.]

''[On the sidewalk, a kid is riding a tricycle at a fast pace. He drives over a dandelion, sending its seeds flying. Drew sits down on the doorstep with the newspaper, and is still talking on the phone.]''

Drew: That’s not important. Hobby... Hobby, those are my reasons...

''[Tommy is talking to Angelica, who’s lying in the chair with her eyes closed. He looks up at the sky.]''

Tommy: Hey, Angelica?

Angelica: What?

Tommy: Why is the sky blue?

''[On the sidewalk, we see the kid on the tricycle drive past other kids on tricycles. They follow him.]''

Angelica: What are you talking about?

Tommy: The sky. It’s blue.

Angelica: Well, what color do you ‘spect it to be?

Tommy: I don’t know. Maybe green?

Angelica: Green?! You dumb babies!

''[The kid on the trike looks behind him as the other kids catch up to him. They continue pedaling.]''

''[Chuckie is hiding behind some bushes. He pushes them apart, and notices a candy lying on the sidewalk.]''

Chuckie: (gasps) Wow! A candy! ''[He excitedly runs for the candy. Drew is busy reading the newspaper,, but Angelica and Tommy watch.] (panting) [Chuckie runs to the sidewalk just as the “trikers” are approaching. Chuckie grabs the candy. Tommy sees the danger Chuckie is in.]

Tommy: Chuckie!! ''[Chuckie turns his head and notices the trikes. Angelica pulls Chuckie off the sidewalk just in time.]''

Angelica: Boy, that was close!

Chuckie: I’ll say!

Angelica: They almost crushed the candy! [She takes the candy from Chuckie.]

Chuckie: Angelica…

Angelica: I saw it first and it’s mine! [She puts the candy in her mouth and spits it out.]  Bleach! Coconut! I hate coconut! Here, Chuckie, you can have it. [She gives Chuckie the candy and wipes her hand on his shirt.]

Chuckie: Angelica, you saved my life!

Angelica: All that trouble for a lousy coco- I did what?

Chuckie: You saved my life! If it wasn’t for you, I’d have been mushed by those big wheels!

Tommy: Yeah, Angelica, you’re a hero!

Angelica: Yeah! I guess I am, aren’t I?

Chuckie: Gosh, I wish I could do something nice for you!

Angelica: Oh, Chuckie, don’t be silly. You don’t have to do anything for me. All you have to do is say thank you. Oh, yeah, and be my slave for the rest of your life.

Tommy: Slave?

Chuckie: For the rest of my life?

Angelica: That’s the rule.

Chuckie: What rule?

Angelica: The rule about saving someone’s life. The rule says that if you save someone’s life, then they have to be your slave forever.

Chuckie: Really?

Angelica: Sure. Everyone knows the rule.

Chuckie: So, what do I gotta do, Angelica?

Angelica: That’s Miss Angelica to you!

''[Inside the house, Chuckie is fanning Angelica, as she sits on a couch. Tommy sits nearby in an armchair.]''

Angelica: Chuckie, bring me my crown!

Chuckie: Yes, Miss Angelica. ''[He picks up a “Taco King” crown from a shelf. He holds it out.]''  Here you go, Miss Angelica.

Angelica: Put it on my head, Stupid! ''[She points to her head. She then lies back smiling, with her eyes closed. Chuckie puts the crown on her head.] Now, bring me some toys.

''[Tommy watches as Chuckie goes back and forth, bringing Angelica three separate armloads of toys. Later, Chuckie drops a block and a ball onto the floor, then collapses. ]''

Chuckie: (panting)

[Angelica is coloring the sky green in her coloring book.]

Angelica: Chuckie, bring me the rest of my crayons. [Chuckie gets up off the floor.]

Chuckie: Right away, Miss Angelica. [He brings her a box of crayons.]

Angelica: I thought I told you to put these crayons in order!

Chuckie: I did, Miss Angelica.

Angelica: Chuckie, everyone knows that red-orange goes before orange-red. [She knocks the box of crayons out of Chuckie’s hands, spilling crayons onto the floor.]  Now please, this time, try to be a little more careful?

Chuckie: (sighs)

[Drew walks into the room.]

Drew: Hey, Cupcake. Daddy… Angelica, this room is a mess!

Angelica: But, but…the babies did it!

Drew: Angelica, I want you to put all the puzzle pieces back in the box, stack up all the games, and put all the toys in the toy chest right away. ''[Angelica looks down, sadly. She folds her arms with an unamused expression. She glances at Chuckie, then smiles.]''

Angelica (sweetly): Okay, Daddy. This room will sparkle like my wonderful smile.

Drew: That’s my Cupcake. You’re such a good girl! [He leaves the room.]

Angelica: Oh, Chuckieee!

Chuckie: (groans)

''[Chuckie is wiping Angelica’s pedal car with a cloth. He spits at where he’s cleaning.]''

Angelica: Good job cleaning up. [She throws a chauffeur’s cap at Chuckie.] Now it’s time to take me to the park. Come on, Tommy. Wanna go for a ride?

Tommy: Uh…

Angelica: ‘Course you do! [She slaps Tommy on the back.] Chuckie, open the door for Tommy. [Chuckie holds open the car door, and bows his head.]

Tommy: Chuckie, you don’t have to…

Angelica: Tommy, you’re my guest. We have service to open our doors for us. [She gestures toward Chuckie.] Now, let’s not be silly. Climb in! ''[She pulls Tommy into the car. Chuckie closes the car door.]'' Charles, to the park! ''[She waves her hand at Chuckie. Chuckie starts “driving” the car.]'' Take a left, Chuckie! Now right! Turn left here! Chuckie, right! Watch out for the bus! ''[The car drives over a toy bus. The car ends up going over the edge of the raised floor.]''  Chuckie, where are you going?!

Chuckie: I’m trying to drive you to the park!

Angelica: (sighs) It’s so hard to find good help these days.

(Doorbell rings)

Drew: Everything going okay, kids?

Angelica: Yes, Daddy. ''[Drew leaves the room. Angelica gives Chuckie a push.]'' Drive!

''[A delivery man with a clipboard is standing outside. Drew opens the front door.]''

Delivery man: Drew Pickles?

Drew: That’s me. [The delivery man gives Drew a gift wrapped package.]

Delivery man: Oh, these are for you. They’re from a pathetic groveling employee. [Drew closes the door on him.]

Drew: Oh, isn’t that nice? [He unwraps the package.] Oh, wow! Chocolates!

Angelica: Did you hear that? Chocolates! [She shakes Chuckie by the shoulders.] Pull over, Chuckie! I got a new job for you!

[Angelica, Chuckie and Tommy stand outside the kitchen.]

Chuckie: What are we doing, Angelica?

Angelica: (whistling)

Chuckie: (sighs) What are we doing, Miss Angelica?

Angelica: We’re going to get some chocolates. They’re in the kitchen. [She points to the kitchen.]

Chuckie: Where in the kitchen, Miss Angelica?

Angelica: You’re a smart little boy, Chuckie. You find them! ''[She pushes Chuckie into the kitchen with her foot, and he falls to the floor. Angelica closes the door behind him.]''

''[As Chuckie is walking through the kitchen, Fluffy, who is sleeping on a chair, opens her eyes and looks at Chuckie. Chuckie looks under a counter. He looks around, and then spots the box of chocolates. Fluffy emerges from behind a counter. Chuckie is pulling open drawers, and climbing them to get to the chocolates. Fluffy watches Chuckie’s shoelaces, dangling as he climbs the drawers. She slinks up to the counter and then pounces at Chuckie with her claws out.]''

Fluffy: (meows)

Chuckie: (yelling)

''[Angelica stands outside the kitchen with Tommy, tapping her foot impatiently. Chuckie runs out the kitchen door. He throws the box of chocolates into the air, and Angelica catches it. She looks down at Fluffy, who’s rubbing her head on Angelica’s leg. Angelica strokes her.]''

Angelica: Oh, Fluffy-Wuffy! Good kitty!

''[Chuckie is sitting on the stairs. He wipes his brow.]''

Chuckie: I’m getting too old for this kind of stuff! [''Angelica slides, seated, on the step and pushes Chuckie to the side. She opens the box of chocolates, as Tommy joins them. Angelica selects two chocolates. She eats one and offers the other one to Tommy.]''

Angelica: Here, Tommy!

Tommy: Uh, thanks, Angelica''. [He puts the chocolate in his mouth and chews it, with some effort. Angelica puts another chocolate to her mouth and pulls it away. ]''

Angelica: Eww! Oh, Chuckie, good work. [She throws the chocolate to Chuckie.] It’s coconut. [''Drew walks in and stops in front of the stairs. Angelica eats another chocolate.]'' Hmmm, Amaretto Cream!

Drew: Angelica, what are you doing? [Angelica throws the box aside to Chuckie.]

Angelica: Nothing.

Drew: Give me that! [He points to the chocolates.]

Angelica: Oh, this? [She grabs the box and holds it open for Drew.] Want a chocolate, Daddy? Here, have a coconut!

Drew: Now, you know those are for after dinner!

Angelica: But I want them now!

Drew: Well, you can’t always get what you want. [He grabs the box and carries it upstairs.]

Angelica: He’d better be kidding! This really burps me up! Every time you get something good, they take it away from you! Now my Daddy’s gonna hide the chocolates somewhere where he figures I’ll never, ever find ‘em!

Tommy: Too bad, Angelica. Guess we’ll have to find something else to do.

Angelica: What do you mean? My servant Chuckie’s gonna get me those chocolates!

Chuckie: But you just said-

Angelica: You dumb babies! Don’t you know that whenever grownups hide things, they always hide ‘em in the “ezact” same place? Birthday presents, toys, candies, you name it! They only hide ‘em in one place!

Tommy: Where’s that?

Angelica: The upstairs closet!

Chuckie: Upstairs closet?! That’s all the way upstairs!

Angelica: No duh, Chuckie.

Chuckie: But it’s way up high, and…and, I don’t wanna go!

Angelica: Well, that’s too bad, ‘cause you’re my servant, and you have to go!

Tommy: No, Angelica! This time, I just gotta put my foot down! You can’t tell Chuckie what to do anymore! Right, Chuckie?

Chuckie: Yeah! All you ever say is ‘Chuckie, do this’ or ‘Chuckie, do that’! Well, I’m not doin’ this or that and I’m not goin’ up to that closet!

Angelica: I don’t know what to say. I’m not mad, I’m just… “disserpointed”.

Tommy: Disserpointed?

Angelica: Yeah. I saved Chuckie’s life. I almost got runned over so Chuckie wouldn’t get hurt. So I asked for a few little favors. A chocolate here or there, a little trip to the closet. Is that so much to ask?

Chuckie: Maybe she’s right, Tommy.

Tommy: Well, you guys can go, but I’m staying here!

Angelica: Okay, Tommy, no chocolates for you! Let’s go, Chuckie! ''[She walks up the stairs. Chuckie glance at Tommy, and then follows Angelica.]''

Chuckie: (sighs) ''[At the top of the stairs, Angelica looks over down the hall. She tiptoes over to the closet door, and looks over down the hall again.]''

Angelica: Ready?

Chuckie: Ready. ''[Angelica opens the closet door, and she and Chuckie walk inside. She turns on the light. She walks over to some shelves and looks up. We momentarily see Tommy, standing at the bottom of the stairs and looking up.]''

Angelica: Up there. That’s where Daddy hides everything. [She points to the top of the shelves.] Now, go get ‘em!

Chuckie: But, I’m a-scared, Angelica! [Angelica grabs a sheet off a shelf.]

Angelica: Here. [She ties an end around Chuckie.] This is what real mountain climbers do. [She holds up the other end.]  I’ll hold onto this end, so if you fall, I can catch you.

Chuckie: Oh, okay. [He begins climbing up the shelves, as Angelica holds onto the other end of the sheet.]

Chuckie: (grunting) ''[Chuckie steps onto a box, and the box falls off the shelf. Chuckie ends up dangling, as he firmly grasps onto the shelf above him. He manages to get his foot onto the shelf.]''

Chuckie: (Phew. Sheesh.)

''[Tommy has climbed up the stairs. He stops, as Drew walks past the stairs. As Drew passes the closet door, he closes it.''

Angelica: Keep climbin’!

Chuckie: (grunting)

''[Chuckie reaches the top of the shelves. He spots the box of chocolates.]''

Chuckie: (gasps) They’re here! ''[He grabs the box. His foot slips, and he falls off. He grabs onto a vacuum cleaner hose and ends up landing on a cushion on the floor.]''

Chuckie: (sighs)

Angelica: Good work, Chuckie! [She takes the box of chocolates.] Now, let’s go get some… [She tries to open the door, but can’t.]  Uh-oh.

Chuckie: Get some ‘uh-oh’?

Angelica: We’re locked in! Trapped! Help! Help! [She bangs on the door.] Let me out! Daddy!

[Drew is doing paper work, and is wearing headphones, listening to Reptar music.

Singing (on headphones): Reptar, Reptar, Gotta find that Rep-

Angelica: Daddy! Daddy! I knew this was a bad idea! I knew it! We never should have come up here! It’s all your fault, Chuckie!

Chuckie: But, Miss Angelia, you ordered me to come up here.

Angelica: Do you always do everything I say? If I told you to jump off a bridge, would you?

Chuckie: Probably.

Angelica: Well, now we’re stuck here forever!

Chuckie: But, Miss Angelica, are you sure we’re locked in?

Angelica: Be quiet, we’re running out of air! Chuckie, I order you to stop breathing! We gotta save all the air for me!

Chuckie: But maybe we’re not trapped.

Angelica: Hold your breath! [Chuckie holds his breath, then exhales and pants.] Oh, what are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? Poor Cynthia, she’s gonna be orphaned! Fluffy’s gonna need me! I’m losing my mind! [Chuckie opens the door.]

Chuckie: Yoo-hoo! Miss Angelica, we can go! You were turning the doorknob the wrong way.

Angelica: We’re free! [She pushes open the door and falls to her knees.]  We’re free, we’re free! Tommy, we’re free! ''[she kisses the ground. Chuckie and Tommy look at each other and shrug.]'' Oh, Chuckie, you’re the best servant I ever had! You saved my life!

Chuckie: Oh, thanks, Miss Angelica.

Tommy: Hey, Angelica, you just said Chuckie saved your life!

Angelica: What’s it to you?

Tommy: Well, you know the rule.

Angelica: No, no, that’s not what I meant. You see, uh, well, all that stuff about the rule, well, uh, rules are meant to be broken and… [Tommy and Chuckie give her stern looks.]

[Angelica is now wearing the chauffeur’s cap, and is looking rather annoyed, as she drives Chuckie and Tommy around in the pedal car.]

Chuckie: Turn here, Angelica.

Angelica: Yes, Mr. Chuckie.

Chuckie: Faster, Angelica!

Angelica: Right away, Mr. Chuckie.

Chuckie: Chocolate, Mr. Tommy?

Tommy: Why, thank you, Mr. Chuckie. [They each eat a chocolate.]

Angelica: Oh, brother.

[Chuckie and Tommy both select a couple more chocolates.]