Waiter, There's a Baby in My Soup/Transcript

''[The episode opens with a point of view from inside the toilet as Tommy can be heard humming. Tommy grabs onto the toilet bowl and looks down into the toilet smiling. Tommy, who's standing on a elephant child stepstool, reaches down to the floor to pick up Stu's tie.]''

Stu: Didi, have you seen my favorite tie?

[Tommy begins dipping Stu's tie into the toilet bowl.]

Stu: No, Tommy! Not the tie!

[Stu picks up Tommy as he takes his now drenched tie out of the toilet while holding Tommy.]

Stu: Oh, no!

[Stu walks into the kitchen where Didi is sitting at the table.]

Stu: Didi, Tommy did it again!

Didi: Tie in the potty?

[Stu sets Tommy down on the floor as Tommy crawls off screen.]

Didi: Well, I'm sorry, dear.

Stu: I can't wear this tie to dinner, Didi!

[As Stu complains, Didi grabs the tie from him and takes it over to the kitchen sink to wring it out .]

Stu: I've got to look professional tonight. I don't want Mr. Mucklehoney to think I'm some kind of "wacky inventor" or something.

''[Tommy is seen opening the cabinets beneath the sink, looking at all the pots and pans as Didi sits back at the table. Stu puts his tie on as he attempts to straighten out his tie only for it to crinkle up once again.]''

Didi: Oh, you look great Stu!

Stu: Do I really look okay? Because, if he doesn't take me seriously, I'll never talk him into investing in Pickles toys.

Didi: Oh, quit worrying, Stu. Now, I've got our number at the restaurant, and Drew's, and the pediatrician's in case of some real emergency, and here's the plumber's number in case the pipes burst.

''[Tommy is seen grabbing a pan from the pile, causing all the other pans to fall. A car is seen outside and begins honking as Lou rushes into the kitchen.]''

Lou: That will be Louise. Got a hot date at the bowling alley

Stu: Score a 300, tiger

''[Lou leaves. The phone starts ringing as Didi answers the phone.]''

Didi: Hello? Oh, hi, Tiffany when are you getting here?

[Tommy has placed a pan on his head as he is seen picking up a different pan and tossing it aside.]

Didi: What? What do you mean you can't make it tonight? We're counting on you.

[Stu gasps in shock as Tommy walks towards the garbage can.]

Didi: But that's what you said the last time! Oh, your other goldfish died.

[Tommy looks inside the garbage can slowly tipping it over.]

Didi: Oh, okay. Bye

''[Stu looks outside as the car drives off with the tires squealing. Lou waves goodbye as the card speeds away.]''

Stu: Oh, no

[Stu and Didi look over to Tommy, who knocks over the trash can, as he picks up a banana peel and tosses it aside.]

Didi: I guess we'll have to take him with us

''[The scene changes to the outside of the restaurant as it shifts to the inside where employees and customers are seen while Stu and Didi are being taken to their table where Mr. Mucklehoney is already sitting. Tommy waves to a couple as Stu and Didi passes by them. Once at the table, Mr. Mucklehoney stands to greet them both.]''

Mr. Mucklehoney: Hi! You must be Pickles. Put her there, pal.

''[Stu and Mr. Mucklehoney shake hands until Stu screams. Stu drops the stuff he's been holding while Mr. Mucklehoney starts laughing revealing the toy buzzer on his hand.]''

Mr. Mucklehoney: Just kidding, Pickles. And you must be Mrs. Pickles. Real pleasure, ma'am.

''[Didi and Mr. Mucklehoney shake hands until his hand comes off. Mr. Mucklehoney starts laughing again.]''

Mr. Mucklehoney: Excuse me, Mrs. Pickles, but I can't resist a good joke and folks like you fall for every darn one!

''[Mr. Mucklehoney's real hand comes out of his sleeve.]''

Didi: Nice to meet you too.

''[Mr. Mucklehoney walks up to Tommy who is being held by Didi.]''

Mr. Mucklehoney: Who's the little fellow?

Stu: His name is Tommy. I hope it's okay we brought him, but our babysitter-

[Stu is gathering the stuff he dropped as he explains the situation only for Mr. Mucklehoney to cut him off.]

Mr. Mucklehoney: Heck Pickles, I love kids. Don't think another thing of it. Want a lollipop, sonny?

[Tommy tries to grab the lollipop as it stretches before snapping back into Mr. Mucklehoney's hand, causing him to laugh again.]

Mr. Mucklehoney: Oh, I love you Pickleses. Even your kid's a sucker. You get it? Sucker?

''[Mr. Mucklehoney laughs as Tommy stares at him seemingly frightened. The scene changes over as the Pickles and Mr. Mucklehoney are now sitting at the table.]''

Stu: Thank you for coming, Mr. Mucklehoney. I know how valuable you time is sir, I'll show you what I brought here.

Mr. Mucklehoney: Hold on there Pickles! We'll get around to business later, but first, let's get some chow. I'm so hungry, I could eat a hog headfirst. Hey, waiter!

[Everyone in the restaurant looks over at the table as the waiter walks over to Mucklehoney.]

Waiter: Yes?

Mr. Mucklehoney: I see you got prime rib here. Could you get me one of those pound-and-a-half slabs?

Waiter: I'll see what I can do.

Mr. Mucklehoney: And, for starters, bring me some spaghetti and meatballs

[Tommy grabs a plate and is holding a spoon.]

Mr. Mucklehoney: What about you, Mrs. Pickles?

Didi: Oh I'll have the-

[Didi is then cut off as the waiter brings over a phone on a platter.]

Waiter: Mrs. Pickles, I believe there's a call for you.

[Didi grabs the phone and answers it, as Lou is heard on the other end of the line.]

Didi: Hello?

Lou: (over the phone) Didi, it's me!

Didi: Grandpa?

Lou: (over phone) I got to get out of here.

Didi: You what?

[The scene cuts over to the bowling alley as Lou is seen standing at a pay phone.]

Lou: I got in an argument with Louise over a seven-ten split. I need a ride home.

[The scene then cuts back to the restaurant once again.]

Didi: But we're in the middle of dinner and I-

[Tommy begins hitting the plates and cups with forks and spoons, playing with them like instruments. Didi grabs Tommy's hand to stop him, taking the spoon from him, as Tommy glares at Didi angrily.]

Didi: I'll be right there Pop, and I'll bring Tommy with me.

''[Stu nods in approval to take Tommy. Didi hangs up the phone placing it back on the receiver and standing up.]''

Didi: You'll have to excuse me Mr. Mucklehoney, but I've got a little family emergency so I'll just take Tommy and-

Mr Mucklehoney: Shucks Mrs. Pickles, leave the little fella here! We boys can watch the squirt. Can't we Pickles?

[Tommy is seen opening a salt shaker as he dumps it all over the table. Stu tries to protest but Mr. Mucklehoney cuts him off.]

Stu: On the other hand-

Mr. Mucklehoney: Go on now!

''[Stu gestures for Didi to take Tommy with her, but she hands Tommy back the spoon and leaves. Stu facepalms because of this.]''

Mr. Mucklehoney: So Pickles, what do you got?

[Stu begins digging throw the diaper bag full of items as he then pulls out a toy robot.]

Stu: Well, I call this guy the Helioptertron. He starts as a robot see, but then you do this.

''[Stu fiddles with the robot, transforming it into a vehicle like form as he lets it ride across the table. The toy knocks over various items on the table as it moves over in front of Mr. Mucklehoney. The head detaches into a helicopter and flies of screen, likely crashing into something as a crashing sound is heard. Mr. Mucklehoney laughs in approval.]''

Mr. Mucklehoney: That's pretty good Pickles. Only Mucklehoney Industries is releasing two toys just like that next month and those will go in reverse. What else you got?

''[Stu looks dejected at the news of similar toys being released as Mr Mucklehoney pushes the toy aside. Stu reaches into the diaper bag once again.]''

Stu: Well...How about this?

''[Tommy takes this opportunity to slip out from the higher chair and down onto the floor beneath the table. Now beneath the table, Tommy looks up as the bottom of the table has a wad of chewed gum stuck to it along with some couple's name surrounded by a heart. ]''

Stu: How about this?

Mr. Mucklehoney: What the heck is it, Pickles?

Stu: Well here let me show you.

''[Clicking of whatever Stu is showing off can be heard as Tommy looks over to Mr. Mucklehoney's feet as Mr. Mucklehoney is tapping his foot. Tommy then looks over to Stu's feet then back to Mucklehoney's before pulling the wad of gum from the bottom of the table.]''

Stu: Aha, I- I guess I haven't worked all the bugs out of that one.

''[Mr. Mucklehoney is heard laughing as Tommy, now with his hand covered in the wad of gum, stretches it over to Mr. Mucklehoney's shoes where he wraps it around one of Mr. Mucklehoney's shoes. Tommy then grabs Stu's shoelaces as he ties them around the table leg by crawling around it while holding them. Stu is heard showing off another toy in the background.]''

Mr Mucklehoney: That's a great gag, Pickles! What else you got?

Stu: Well...

Mr. Mucklehoney: What does that thing do, Pickles?

Stu: Well, here let me show you.

Mr. Mucklehoney: Oh, one of those wall-walker things. That's not bad Pickles, that's not bad. Uhh, but what does it do after that?

Stu: Huh?

Mr. Mucklehoney: After it walks up the wall, what does it do then?

Stu: Uh-

Mr. Mucklehoney: Well no offense Pickles, but that one seems kind of dead on the vine if you catch my drift.

Stu: Don't worry Mr. Mucklehoney, I got a million ideas.

Mr. Mucklehoney: Well that's good Pickles, that's good. You just keep digging them out of that bag of yours.

''[Tommy is seen crawling and lifting the table cloth to peek out from underneath it and looking around at what he can see of the restaurant. The waiter soon comes up with a serving cart as he brings appetizers for Mr. Mucklehoney and Stu.]''

Mr. Mucklehoney: Oh! Appetizers at last! Don't mind me if I chow down while you talk, Pickles.

''[Mr. Mucklehoney can be heard slurping and chewing noisily as Tommy climbs on the bottom of the serving cart. The waiter then walks off with the serving cart as he heads towards a door that leads into the kitchen of the restaurant. One chef can be seen stirring something in a pot before taste testing it as the serving cart is pushed by him. Tommy watches in awe, looking over to see two other chefs also cooking food as well. With the waiter gone, Tommy stands and peeks from the bottom of the cart looking at what's on the table next to him.''

''Tommy picks up the anchovy from the plate it's sitting on, sniffing it, before throwing it away in disgust. The fish lands on top of a desert that happened to be sitting nearby. Tommy takes interest in the mixing bowl on the counter as it gives an inviting sparkle. Tommy climbs up on the counter and begins crawling towards the bowl, his reflection being seen as he gets closer. Tommy peeks into the bowl, cooing and playing with his reflection, before he then climbs into the mixing bowl. The waiter comes back to the cart seeing that the plate was empty. Quickly, to replace the anchovy, the waiter places a herb of some kind in it's place before nodding and taking the cart out.''

''Tommy begins to try and climb out of the mixing bowl, accidentally hitting the switch to turn it on in the process, as he is spun in the bowl. After the bowl reaches a certain speed, Tommy is launched from the bowl into some nearby dough. Tommy crawls out of the dough and down the countertop as he hears a chef nearby filling pie crust with whipped cream in a can. The chef sits the can on the shelf where Tommy is hiding as he walks away. Meanwhile Tommy, seeing the other pies and then an empty pie crust, decides to pick up some nearby utensils and drop them in the pie crust. He then, sloppily, fills it with the same whip cream can as the waiter notices the pie.]''

Waiter: Hmm...Pierre's getting a little sloppy.

[''The waiter takes the utensil filled pie away as one of the other cooking chefs is seen in the background. Tommy takes notice of the chef shaking some salt into the pot of soup as he crawls closer to watch. The chef gives the soup another taste test before walking off screen to do something else as Tommy looks down at the boiling soup. Tommy looks over and grabs some black pepper and onion powder as he picks up the shakers and begins to shake them into the soup. Tossing them aside, Tommy then grabs the hot sauce and shakes some into the soup as well. The chef returns to give the now extra spicy soup a taste before gagging and running off to get water as it was now too spicy.''

''The waiter comes back to scoop some soup into two bowls before leaving once more. Tommy crawls to the other side of the shelving to see a chef sprinkling something into a bowl of noodles. Wanting some of the noodles, Tommy tries to reach out for some to eat, only to fall into the bowl of noodles. Tommy looks at the chef from the pile of noodles as the chef places the lid on the bowl without noticing Tommy. The scene then cuts back to the table, which is now full of toys that Stu made, while Stu is digging through the diaper bag again as he pulls out a pair of glasses with googly eyes.]''

Stu: What about these Mr. Mucklehoney? I call them Wacko Specs.

[Stu pulls a level on the glasses causing the eyes in them to launch out as the bounce away, one even landing in another customers glass of water as he looks at it in shock.]

Mr. Mucklehoney: Oh Pickles, you kill me! I wish I could pay you just to hang around and make me laugh.

''[The waiter brings the spicy soup as he places a bowl in front of Mr. Mucklehoney, who takes a slurp and begins gagging and choking. Mr. Mucklehoney falls back in his chair onto the floor as Stu looks down at him in concern.]''

Stu: Mr. Mucklehoney, are you alright?!

Mr. Mucklehoney: Wa-Wa-Wa-Wa...

''[Stu, realizing Mr. Mucklehoney needs water, tosses the empty glasses only to realize they're all empty. Looking around, Stu finally notices that Tommy is missing from his highchair and begins looking for him while Mr. Mucklehoney continues gagging on the floor. The waiter is seen bringing up a plate on the staging cart, removing the lid only for Tommy to pop his head out while Stu calls out to him in relief.]''

Stu: Tommy!

Mr. Mucklehoney: (in a strained gurgling voice) Tommy?

''[Tommy giggles from the pile of noodles as Mr. Mucklehoney gets up to see what was happening. Stu then tries to get up to get Tommy only to begin tripping as his shoelaces are still tied to the table leg. It shows Stu falling in slow motion as the table tips over and lands on top of Mr. Mucklehoney while the waiter and Tommy watch.]''

Mr. Mucklehoney: Water. Water.

''[Mr. Mucklehoney, now beneath the fallen table, groans for water as the waiter picks up the platter and brings it over to Stu to give Tommy back.]''

Waiter: Is this yours?

Stu: Hiya, champ, looks like you're having a bad night too.

[Stu takes Tommy from the bowl, brushing the noodles from his head, while Mr. Mucklehoney can be heard laughing from beneath the table as he gets up from beneath it.]

Mr. Mucklehoney: Oh Pickles you slay me! You must have gone through a lot of trouble to set this thing up! The tabasco soup. The flying table. Heck, you even got your kid into the act. What did you do, call the restaurant in advance?

Stu: Yeah...

''[Mr. Mucklehoney helps Stu up as Stu laughs nervously. Another waiter is seen walking up as he hands out a bill for $390 dollars. Mr Mucklehoney takes the bill from the waiter.]''

Mr. Mucklehoney: Shucks, I'll take care of that little thing. You know Pickles, we could use a twisted mind like yours at Mucklehoney Industries.

''[Mr. Mucklehoney ruffles Stu's hair as Stu smiles while Mr. Mucklehoney hands the waiter the money for the bill. They both walk out of the restaurant, with Stu carrying Tommy.]''

Stu: Y-You could?

Mr. Mucklehoney: In fact, why don't you come down to headquarters tomorrow? I've got just the project for you, Pickles: A doll that grows edible hair.

Stu: We can call her, "Alice Alfalfa Sprout".

Mr. Mucklehoney: Ha-Ha-Ha! That's a good one, Pickles. Alice Alfalfa Sprout! I like that!

[The greeter holds out his hand, likely expecting a tip, as Tommy removes some leftover noodles from his overalls pocket and places it in the greeter's hand. Leaving the greeter with a confused look as Stu and Mr. Mucklehoney start walking away. Shaking the noodles from his hands, the greeter smiles as Tommy is waving to him. The camera zooms in on just Tommy, freezing for a few seconds, before fading to black, thus ending the episode.]