Starstruck/Transcript

(Scene: in the Java Lava. Kira makes a coffee and hands it to a man sitting on a bar stool)

Kira: "One mega-frothy mocca-cherra."

Chas: "And one biscotti coming up."

(Tommy and the Finster kids are in a playpen, eating cookies and drinking out of sippy cups)

Tommy: "Mmm! I love your mommy and daddy's coffee shop! They gots extra big cookies here!"

Chuckie: "Yeah, they look funny but they taste good."

Kimi: "And you can play choo-choo with them. (pretends her biscuit is a train) Choo-choo!" (giggles)

(a man walks down the street, admires his hair in the cafe windows, and walks into the cafe)

Man: "Her pigtails-they're perfect!" (walks off)

Kimi: (stands up) "Did you hear that, guys? That man likes my piggy-tails!"

Chuckie: (looks under Kimi's dress from the back) "Piggy-tails? All I see is a diapie!"

Tommy: (also looks under Kimi's dress from the back) "They must be inside."

Chas: "Welcome to the Java Lava. My name's--Mack Granite?! The movie star?!"

Mack: "Funny, that's my name too!" (bursts out laughing)

Chas: (laughing nervously) "I've never met another Mack Granite movie star. Just kidding. My name's actually Chas." (shakes Mack's hand) "I'm your biggest fan, Mr Granite, sir."

Mack: "Please call me Mack."

Chas: "Mack?! Wow!"

Mack: (walks towards the playpen) "Who is that little girl? She's perfect for the role of 'little girl' in my next movie."

Chas: (walks up to Mack) "That's Kimi. She's my daughter."

Mack: (grabs Chas by the suspenders) "I must have her audition, Chip. That kid's got talent."

(Kimi squirts herself with orange juice and giggles)

Chas: "Well, she was a very early crawler."

(Kimi stands up)

Mack: "You're gonna be a star." (hands her a card) "Meet me at Granite Studios, four o'clock PM."

Chas: "Wait, Mack, can you order from the espresso machine?!"

Tommy: (looks at Mack's card) "Wow, Kimi's gonna be a star!"

Chuckie: "A star?! Like way up in the sky?! Next to the moon?!"

Kimi: "Yay! I love stars! I get to be all twinkly and shiny and be way up high (points up) and I can grant everyone their wishes when they wish on me. (runs around, singsong) I'm gonna be a star! I'm gonna be a star!" (giggles)

Chuckie: "Wow, so that's how a star is born!"

Kira: (hands a man some coffee, doubtful voice) "I don't know about it, Kimi's too young for this."

Chas: (pleading) "Oh, please Kira? It's just one little itsy-bitsy audition."

Kira: "All right, we'll take her to the audition but just this one time."

Chuckie: (sits on the floor looking sad and watching Kimi play with the toys): "Wow, I'm really gonna miss her. She's gonna be so far away."

(Kimi climbs onto a box, jumps, lands on a rubber duck and falls over)

Kimi: "I'm not floating like a star so good. Could you guys help me?" (as she gets up and walks over to Chuckie and Tommy)

Tommy: "Sure, Kimi! We can help! Come on!" (walks away and Kimi follows)

Chuckie: "Oh!" (follows, but still appears unhappy)

(Tommy and Kimi make a wall out of toys)

Tommy: "Okay, that should be enough room to float."

Kimi: "Isn't this sighting, Chuckie? I'm gonna float!"

Chuckie: "I dunno, Kimi. Floating's kinda dangerous. You could crash into other stars or a spaceship or even the mouth of a giant alien!"

Kimi: "Ah, don't worry, I'll be careful!"

Tommy: (spreads out his arms) "Okay, Kimi, first, you hold your arms out like this."

(Kimi climbs onto the box and holds her arms out)

Tommy: "Good" (flaps his arms) "Now, flap 'em real fast and think of floaty things like clouds or a balloon."

(Chuckie frowns, Kimi flaps her arms and looks focused)

Tommy: "Now, jump!"

(Kimi jumps, still flapping her arms, and lands on the floor)

Tommy: "Maybe we should try some easy stuff."

(Tommy opens the playpen with a screwdriver and the three babies walk across the floor, then Tommy finds a jar of star-shaped sprinkles and takes it down off the shelf)

Tommy: (walking over to Kimi, holding the box of sprinkles) "If you gots to be a star, Kimi, you gots to learn how to tinkle and shine."

Kimi: "I already know how to tinkle, Tommy. That's what diapies is for."

Tommy: (shakes his head) "No, not that kind of tinkling. Tinkle, tinkle little star kind of tinkling. Like that." (sprinkles Kimi with sprinkles).

Chuckie: (sounds angry, snatches the sprinkles) "We're not supposed to play with our food, Tommy!"

(Tommy takes a torch, turns it on, and walks towards Kimi)

Tommy: "And there's the shine."

Kimi: "I'm a star!"

Chuckie: (takes the torch, turns it off, says nervously and quickly) "The flashlight's broken. Guess you can't be a star."

Kimi: (takes the torch, turns it on and shines it around) "Look, it's working again!"

(Chuckie moans)

Tommy: "Now, you have to learn the most important star thing of all: making wishes come true!"

Kimi: (puts the torch in her pocket) "OK, let me try! You guys make a wish."

Tommy: "I wish, uh, I was a little stronger."

Kimi: "Hmm, that's kind of a hard one."

Tommy: "Okay, I (uncertainly) wish I had a cranberry muffin?"

Kimi: (looks around the room and sees a cranberry muffin on the desk) "Okay, but keep your eyes closed."

(Tommy closes his eyes and holds his hands over them, Chuckie closes his eyes but keeps his hands where they are, Kimi takes the cranberry muffin and give it to Tommy, the boys open their eyes).

Kimi: "Ta-da! A cranberry muffin!"

Tommy: (takes the muffin) "Wow, you did it, Kimi!"

Kimi: "What's your wish, Chuckie?"

Chuckie: "Um, I don't want to say."

Kimi: "Why not?"

Chuckie: "Because, I, um, because..."

Chas: (walks in, carrying a camera) "All right, kids. Time to make Kimi a star!" (Kimi giggles and runs to Chas).

Chuckie: "Because it's not gonna come true."

(people are setting up a set that looks like outer space, the babies look at it in awe)

Tommy: "That must be the rocket that takes you to outside-space!"

Kimi: (about a strobe light) "Wow, that's even bigger than my flashlight! I'll really shine with that!"

Chuckie: (grumpily) "Yeah, but you still can't float to it, Kimi."

Kimi: "That's okay, look what they gots to help me!" (points up, the boys look at a man lifting himself up with a lifting platform)

Chuckie: "Whoa!"

(Tommy looks over at Kimi, who is running to the set of the spaceship)

Kimi: "Wow! I can't wait to go!"

(both boys are frowning)

Chuckie: "What's the matter, Tommy? You look like me and that's never good." (shakes his head)

Tommy: "I didn't know the rocket would be so big and Kimi's really gonna blast far far away."

Chuckie: "That's what I've been sayin'."

Tommy: "Too bad we can't go with her. And she's gonna be all alone."

Chuckie: "No, she won't, Tommy." (walks over to his bag and digs out Wawa)

Chas: "Wow! A real movie set! Did I mention Mack's gonna be at the audition?"

Kira: "Yes, at least four times. You know an actor? He may be famous, but he's still a person like you and me."

Chas: "You're right. It's silly. Uh, I shouldn't get so carried away." (shakes his head)

(Mack enters)

Chas: "There he is! Mack! Mack, it's me, Chip Finster!" (Chas looks excited but Kira facepalms)

Kira: "Chip?"

(Kimi is lying on the top of the stairs on the spaceship set, miming driving and she has her eyes closed. Chuckie walks up to her and she opens her eyes and looks at him upside-down)

Kimi: "What you doing, Chuckie?"

Chuckie: (hands her Wawa) "Giving you a goodbye present."

Kimi: (sits up) "Wawa? But you can't sleep without him." (takes Wawa)

Chuckie: "That's OK. You might be lonely in outside-space. And Wawa's real good company when you're lonely." (sits next to Kimi) "Be careful with Wawa. He'll be fine, please."

Kimi: "Thanks, Chuckie." (briefly hugs Chuckie's neck, Chuckie giggles)

Tommy: "Don't forget this, Kimi." (takes torch out of his diaper, Kimi takes it)

Man: (walking along) "All right, one last time. Is she (???)"

Kira: (offended) "No, she's a baby!"

Man: "I knew that. Let's have a look at this. First, Mack delivers his line. Then, you give him five. And I want to feel the moment (double-thumbs-up), OK?"

Mack: (poses like a superhero) "Time to save the galaxy, little girl. Give me five."

(the three Rugrats look confused, then Kimi shines the torch in Mack's eye, which irritates Mack and the bald man with the goatee, who is sitting in a deck chair).

Man with Goatee: "Let's try again, and this time, do it correctly. Action!"

Mack: (poses again) "I save the galaxy. Give me five."

(Kimi reaches into her pockets and throws sprinkles into his hair)

Mack: "Aah! My hair! Not the hair!"

Man with Goatee: "Why couldn't I have worked in an addition?"

(Kimi is moving about like she's dancing)

Chuckie: "I gotta miss her, but you got to admit. She knows how to tinkle."

(the man with the goatee gets up from his chair and walks around looking angry)

Man with Goatee: "Okey-doke. Last chance. And talk."

Mack: (getting bored, so he doesn't even bother to pose and just sticks out his hand) "Blah-blah-blah-blah galaxy, five."

Kira: "You can do it, sweetie."

Chas: "Show them you're a star, Kimi!"

Kimi: "Oh!" (runs up the stairs, flaps her arms, leaps and lands on Mack's foot, accidentally hurting it)

Mack: "Ow!" (hops, holding the foot Kimi landed on and trips over a wire, knocking over some equipment, which knocks over the set, which crashes into a table and a cake lands on Mack's head). "I'll be in my trailer, prying the bunt cake off my head." (walks off and bumps into the wall)

Man with Goatee: (walks angrily over to Kimi) "That does it! You will never slap five in this town again!" (runs off)

Kira: (walks over and crouches down by her) "Don't worry, Kimi. You'll always be a star to us."

Chas: (walks over to the still-knocked-over rocket ship set) "Oh, Kira! Kira! Take a picture of me by the rocket ship!" (Kira groans and follows Chas, the boys walk up to Kimi)

Tommy: "I'm glad you didn't go, Kimi. We would've really missed ya."

Kimi: "I would've missed you guys, too. And I probably wouldn't have been such a good star, anyway."

Chuckie: "Sure you would've, Kimi! Remember the wish I wouldn't tell you about? Well, I wished you wouldn't go and you made it come true!"

Kimi: "Wow! I got some star power after all! You didn't want me to go, Chuckie? (Chuckie shakes his head) Then, I'm happy I didn't get to be a star."

Chuckie: "Me too!" (she hugs him) "Um, now that you're staying, can I have Wawa back?"

(Kimi giggles, hands Wawa to Chuckie, then all three babies giggle).