Cool Hand Angelica/Transcript

(There is a closeup of the Carmichaels' house, and a paper airplane swoops by. Susie shows Angelica and the babies some of the stuff that she's going to be using at day camp)

Susie: And that's my water container, and those are my energy cookies, and that's my insect pellant for the big, fat icky bugs! There's always bugs when we go to camp.

Lil: Neat!

Angelica: Big deal...

Tommy: Wow, day camp sounds great, Susie. I wish we could go.

Susie: You're too little, Tommy. Day camp is fun, but it's real hard too?

Angelica: Hard?! Ha, that's a laugh. Camp is for kids who can't handle real life.

Susie: It is TOO hard, Angelica! You get to climb over things, and go to scary woods, and play lots of hard games. You don't even get to go to the potty indoors.

Angelica: I can do all that day camp stuff standing on my head. They'd probably make me boss of the place my first day.

Susie: You think so, Angelica?

Angelica: I KNOW so.

Susie: Well, too bad you're not coming to day camp too.

Angelica: Yeah, too bad. Then you'd see something.

Susie: Hmmm... (Susie thinks of an idea)

(Angelica is eating malted milk balls.)

Charlotte: Oh, that's a terrific idea. Angelica could use a little socialization.

Angelica: Huh? Hmm... (Angelica takes a handful of malted milk balls, and eats all of them)

Drew: What was that about?

Charlotte: Well, that was Lucy Carmichael. Apparently Susie's going to day camp this summer, and when Angelica heard about it, she got really excited. Lucy thought we'd might wanna enroll her too.

Drew: Oh, that's great. She'll love it. (Drew takes a sip of his coffee)

Angelica: (screaming) I DON'T WANNA GO TO CAMP!!!!

[She breaks down crying.]

Drew: But Angelica, Honey, This will be a great experience for you, and your friend Susie will be there! (To Charlotte) Maybe we should make her go.

Charlotte: Daddy's right dear, you're gonna have a wonderful time. (To Drew) Now Drew, remember, we decided we were going to take a firmer hand with her.

Drew: I know, but-listen, angel, sometimes we all have to do things we don't want to do, because they're good for us.

Angelica: (sniffles) Not me, daddy. I'm special.

Drew and Charlotte; She's going...

(Angelica is on the day camp bus, with suitcases beside her. The kids on the bus are very excited to go to day camp, while Angelica isn't.)

Angelica: Well, Cynthia, this is another fine mess you gotten us into. You always have to open your big mouth, don't you?

Les: Okay, everybody. Let's sing a song.

Kids: Yay!

Angelica: Oh, please...

Boy: (singing): Packed my white bread and salami!

Other kids: (singing): Packed my white bread and salami!

Boy: Then said bye-bye to my mommy!

Other kids: Then said bye-bye to my mommy!

Boy: She and Daddy cut me loose!

Other kids: She and Daddy cut me loose!

Boy: With a canteen full of apple juice!

Other kids: With a canteen full of apple juice!

(The bus finally arrives at Ferris Island day camp. The kids are excited as they jump off the bus. But Angelica is struggling with her suitcases.)

Jack Bubble: Welcome to Ferris Island. Like it or not, you're gonna be spending the next 4 hours here. So let's get one thing straight right from the start: *I'm* in charge. My name is Jack Bubble, *Mr.* Bubble to you. Anyone who makes fun of my name, they'll be peeling sunflower seeds the rest of the day. What's all *this* then?!

Angelica: It's my stuff, Mr. Bubble, sir.

Jack Bubble: You won't be needing any of that. We provide the *stuff* here. Les, take these personal items away.

Angelica: Hey, that's my stuff!

Jack Bubble: You'll get a receipt. (Mr. Bubble and the kids all leave)

Susie: Hi, Angelica! Welcome to day camp!

Angelica: I guess I have *you* to thank for this, huh?

Susie: Yeah, isn't it fun?

Angelica: Fun? You call this "fun"?

Susie: Yeah, and pretty soon, we're going to have swimming lessons over there in the lake.

Angelica: You mean, I have to get in that yucky, mucky water with all those smelly little kids?

Susie: Uh-huh. And then, we're going on a hike through the woods!

Angelica: (disgusted): Ewwwwwwwww! Won't we all get sweaty and dirty and stuff?!

Susie: Yup! And then, we'll get to play on the osticle course!

Angelica: Look, Susie, I think I'm just gonna skip all that stuff.

Susie: Really? Mm, well, okay. See you later!

Angelica: (sighing) I wonder where they keep the cookies around here. (takes a walk and bumps into Les)

Les: And where do you think *you're* going, young lady?

Angelica: I was just gonna go find the cookies.

Les: (sing-song): I don't *think* so...